Hi Joffa,
Yes a lot of us have been in your shoes. It is harder in the beginning but will get easier with time. Our situation is that we had kids very early, actually probably havent stopped having them (we have 5) but also brought our first house very early. Buying your ppor can be a great start but you need to aim low (the house we purchased in 1994 was the cheapest house sold that quarter in Perth, and our mortgage was a grand $226 per month - so cheaper than renting then) and then increase equity with renovating etc, don't just sit there and wait for the market to do its work, because then if your house has increased in value so has everything else! We currently have 3 properties, and want to increase that to 5 this year, you can do it on an average wage and raising kids - and yes my husband smokes too.
In hindsight I think starting off with IPs is probably a better way to go now, but you will need to buy cash neutral, so as not to hurt the budget too much.
I havent worked consistently in the 13 years we have been raising kids, but have worked on and off as the need arises - but my advice to your wife if she wants to work would be to go back to work now, you may think working when you have one child is difficult -yes it is -but working with 3,4 or 5 is a lot harder!
Or there is an alternative - Now I am going to go out on a limb here - and suggest something which may not be that popular with the wider community - but if you really want a family why not have more kids now. As our family grew, so did the family payments - you have to remember that even though you have 5 kids you still only pay for one roof over your head, one light bulb in the room, one car to drive, and hand me downs - the economies of scale are great!
Now we have kids because first and foremost we love them, but the government does support the raising of children for the benefit of the country, why not take advantage of that.
Consider this senario - up to $40,000 pa your average taxpayer qualifies for full family payments which for 4 kids would mean an extra $680+ per fortnight, not counting the $600 per child annual bonus, maternity allowance (currently increasing to $5000) and the maternity immunization allowance, and rent assistance.
I once had a Centrelink officer tell me that "family payments was for raising kids and not for building assets" - I was very quick to point out that every day she is probably handing food vouchers to people who choose to shoot it up there arm or spend it at the TAB - at least I am trying to improve life for my family and get ourselves to a point where we wont need the governments money in retirement - I think she needs to rethink her lectures!
Anyway best of luck, and remember if you want it bad enough, it will happen!