"Don't you know who I am ....."

[LynnH]

In the wake of the Belinda Neal/John Della Bosca saga, I thought I would share with you an anecdote told to me by a friend today - don't know whether it actually happened or whether it's an 'urban myth', but, FWIW, here it is .....

Scene: Check-in queue at an airport. Passenger pushes his way to the front of the queue.

Check-in girl: "Sir, would you please return to the back of the queue."
Passenger: "Don't you know who I am?" (loudly)
Check-in girl: "One moment, please sir."
Public announcement: "Your attention please. The gentleman at check-in 6 doesn't know who he is. If anyone has any information which could assist in identifying this passenger, would you please come forward."

The passenger concerned then retreats to the end of the queue - very embarrassed!!!

Cheers,
LynnH

 

[marg4000]

Then there was the uni student who kept writing after the exam had finished. After everyone had left he took his paper up to the examiner at the front of the room who had all the exam papers in a pile on the desk in front of him.

The examiner refused to accept his paper as he had taken extra time.

"Don't you know who I am??" exclaimed the student.

"No" said the examiner.

"Good" said the student, then quickly shoved his paper in the middle of the pile of papers and left.

 

[Sunfish]

There are a number of these credited to Virgin. I suspect some of them may have a basis in fact because Branson attracts excentrics and they would accept, nay, encourage such retorts.

Their hiring policy here certainly put upset the "old ducks" of the cabin industry who called it discriminatory.

 

[Aaron Sice]

i've got a true story for you.

Jeff Newman - our resident weather man for Channel 7 Perth and Telethon front man - was in David Jones Karrinyup trying to buy a television or something of that nature.

Anyway, the kid serving him was from over East - so had diddly squat idea of who he was.

So he tries to talk the saleskid down in price on this item, and the kid doesn't bugde. Jeff ends up buying the item at retail price to not cause a fuss and gets very huffy as he stands there, staring at this kid.

The kid looks up calmly and says "Is there something else, sir?"

Jeff replies "Don't you know who I am?"

Kid looks at the Credit Card he's just been given and says "I do now, Mr......Newman. And thanks for shopping at David Jones Karrinyup."

Apparently Jeff went bright red and stormed out after paying full price including delivery. When my good mate (who used to work at DJK) told the new kid who it was, he said "oh that would explain the funny look".

Apparently Jeff buys a lot of stuff there and they give him regular, heavily discounted prices.

I thought it was a good laugh...

 

[wylie]

There are a number of these credited to Virgin. I suspect some of them may have a basis in fact because Branson attracts excentrics and they would accept, nay, encourage such retorts.

Their hiring policy here certainly put upset the "old ducks" of the cabin industry who called it discriminatory.

Somebody I know who lost her hostie job with Ansett (?) several years ago when the big shake up happened (cannot remember what it was about). She told me she went for a group interview for a Virgin position, with about eight or twelve hosties in the same room. They each had to stand up and say their name and speak for (say) one minute about themselves (or something like that).

Then they were give five minutes as a group to make up a song and dance about Virgin. That was the sum total of the interview

She said it was all a front, and they had no intention of hiring her as she was too old (probably 33 or so at the time). They hired the young early 20's "lookers". Mind you, this woman was certainly a "looker".

I know I would much rather have an experienced "old duck" (even as old as 33 ) on the plane coaching me to "brace" than some 20 something ditzy piece, even if she could sing and dance .

 

[BayView]

I know I would much rather have an experienced "old duck" (even as old as 33 ) on the plane coaching me to "brace" than some 20 something ditzy piece, even if she could sing and dance .

I would just like to get a hosty that has an attitude other than the one they usually exude which implies "god, I am sooo over this job".

Having said that; the Virgin hosties are the best I've seen for attitude, and looks.

Well done Sir Rich.

 

[Sunfish]

Somebody I know who lost her hostie job with Ansett (?) several years ago when the big shake up happened (cannot remember what it was about).

'Was that the simple matter of Ansett going legs up? LOL

 

[Sunfish]

Wylie, If you feel that way, don't fly with Singapore Air. In an emergency their cabin crew ran to the back of the a/c and cried.

 

[Peter 14.7]

Not a "don’t you know who I am" but do have two on simple logic:

One is during the Lindy Chamberlain Trial.

An Aboriginal Elders was being cross examined by high powered QC for the prosecution at his statement "dingo left camp carrying piccaninny (baby)" QC assuming, this is a “simple witnesses”, easy to confuse, asks "are you sure it was baby?!?! I mean it could have been something else"

Elder replies “it is was something else I would not have said it was baby!

AND

More recently, my daughter aged 2and half got me with this.
She was upset at not getting her way I think she wanted to go to the park) I was trying to distract her with ”lets walk to the creek instead, we can see the ducks” More crying so I said “ Darling , you like ducks. I wonder what their names are? do you know what their names are”

Daughter stops crying and turns to me and says straight-faced “daddy they are JUST ducks”

Peter 14.7

 

[Spectre]

aw peter
your quacking me up with that one!

 

[Peter 14.7]

Boom, boom!

 

[WinstonWolfe]

Lynn, here's the original version of your anecdote.....you can google it.

"An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.
A crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, "F*** you!"
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that too."

 

[Mike&Wendy]

Although folklore and not an actual "Do you know why I am", I like this one,

This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy
aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities
off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radio
conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on
10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.)
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE
ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS
SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH--I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES
NORTH--OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Mike.

 

[Perp]

More airline humour.... (yes, it's sexist, but it's a JOKE)

A pilot makes an announcement that some turbulence has passed, then forgets to turn off his microphone. He turns to the co-pilot and says "Man, I sure could use a coffee and a blow job right now", which is inadvertently broadcast to the entire plane.

The first class flight attendant is horrified and immediately begins to dash towards the cockpit. A cheeky and quick-witted passengers calls out:

"Don't forget the coffee!"

 

[evand]

I don't have a story to pass on but a friend of my wife is a part time (relief stewardess) with Qantas, used to be full time.

She has told us a few stories that i cant repeat here but i love the way they call pain in the butt passengers "self loading freight" Its a great term.

 

[BayView]

I don't have a story to pass on but a friend of my wife is a part time (relief stewardess) with Qantas, used to be full time.

She has told us a few stories that i cant repeat here but i love the way they call pain in the butt passengers "self loading freight" Its a great term.

Good one Ev;

in the retail golf industry, we call the P.I.T.A customers "high maintenance" or "written down liabilities".

My toungue is so scarred from biting it for 30 years.

 

[evand]

I know what you mean about the biting the tongue bit. Every business has them.

When i had my electrical business we used to have a thing called a "D....head Surcharge". (COPYRIGHT)

I would visit a premises to quote the job and depending on how difficult i thought the owner/manager would be if/when i did the job, i added a % surcharge. Or none at all if they seemed fair and easy going. Sometimes even deducted if it lloked like an easy job and they were really nice.

Couple of times tho, i added so much i priced myself out the project, but i didn't mind, thats why i came up with the "D....head Surcharge."

Good one Ev;

in the golf industry, we call the P.I.T.A customers "high maintenance customers".

My toungue is so scarred from biting it for 30 years.

 

[Peter_Tersteeg]

I don't have a story to pass on but a friend of my wife is a part time (relief stewardess) with Qantas, used to be full time.

She has told us a few stories that i cant repeat here but i love the way they call pain in the butt passengers "self loading freight" Its a great term.

In high school I did work experience at the local airport where they also had flight instructors. Whenever they had a flight and needed extra ballast, I got a free flight. The instructors argument was I was easier to load than a sack of gravel and if the plane crashed I just might pull them out as well

 

[allmine]

In heathrow airport the big names don't have to go throught the ordeal of mixing it with us commoners.
They get a limo to the stairs at the base of the aerobridge.
A certain Aussy Super star showed up to be greated by the 1st class qantas staff with a large amount of carry on bagage, which exceded even the 1st class cabin allowance.
When told that she couldn't bring her luguage on etc, she replied with "don't you know who I am? To which the reply of, "Not another 1st class passenger who don't know her own name?" apparently, she allowed for some baggage to go below.
True, as I know who the Hostie was.

Also

A blone was not impressed with her ecconomy class seating for the 14 hour run across the pacific, so after the flight leveled off, she grabed her kit and went to find a comfy seat in 1st class.
The staff politely told her she hadn't paid for the seat and go back.
No, I am beautiful, and I am blonde, so there fore I am sitting here!
So the hostie reported this to the boss, then head of the cabin staff explained how she was not entilted to this seat and to go back.
Same thing, No I am blonde, beautiful, and surely you can't expect me to sit back there?
Not sure what to do, they contacted the captain, he came back to have a look, said he'd handle it.
The pilot leaned over and wispered in her ear, the suddenly she got up and moved back to her original seat with out a word.
The staff asked the pilot what he had said, to which he replied, "I simply told her that the 1st class cabin was not going to Sydney!