Absolutely!
give me strength ...
- Thread starter lizzie
- Start date
Absolutely!
Probably because he is the boss....
ooo dazz - you're pushing the buttons here
as for "dated in 5-10 years". certain things need doing straight away so we can get use out of them - others can wait til next year or the year after etc.
thanks for the support - and the eye opening - guys.
Hi Lizzie..... I would gently remind him (perhaps with a sharp whack ) just HOW MUCH PROFIT you have made for both of you over and above what was spent renovating the last four places.
Then, whilst giving him another gentle reminder (another whack!!), just go ahead and do what you do best.
Tell him he needs to go to work like a good little husband and bring in his share of the moolah.
You're bringing in your own share.
Then give him another whack for good measure!!
) just HOW MUCH PROFIT you have made for both of you over and above what was spent renovating the last four places.Then, whilst giving him another gentle reminder (another whack!!), just go ahead and do what you do best.
Tell him he needs to go to work like a good little husband and bring in his share of the moolah
.You're bringing in your own share.
Then give him another whack for good measure!!
Hi Lizzie,
Dig out the tax returns and show him how much money your "little sideline" has generated over the past 5 years.
Then explain that you want to update this one now while the tradies are a bit quiet and the subsidies are available and live there for a few years as the work is done. Then when it is finished sell it and downsize to a very comfortable retirement lifestyle for both of you.
When it is finished, if you don't mention it he will forget all about moving and you can stay as long as you want in the house that you want.
I am a husband, I know husband stuff
Dig out the tax returns and show him how much money your "little sideline" has generated over the past 5 years.
Then explain that you want to update this one now while the tradies are a bit quiet and the subsidies are available and live there for a few years as the work is done. Then when it is finished sell it and downsize to a very comfortable retirement lifestyle for both of you.
When it is finished, if you don't mention it he will forget all about moving and you can stay as long as you want in the house that you want.
I am a husband, I know husband stuff
Tell him the houses are your work and your domain. If he wants to tell you how to do your job, then tell him you're going to his work and telling him how to do his job.
Firstly Lizzie, most men being fairly rational and concerned about the numbers, maybe you need to appeal to that side of him, rather than paint pictures in his mind of what might be.
So how about spreadsheeting two scenarios and do sensitivity analysis for growth and rates at different levels, then plot nice charts :
- leave the reno cash in the bank or whatever he wants to do with it.
- do the reno.
This is more like a proper business approach, and if he can see that the worst case scenario for the reno spend isn't that bad, he might be less anxious about it. You might query him on what he and his mates think is going to happen with property over the next few years. Maybe he is hearing stuff about flat markets he hasn't shared with you.
Secondly, maybe he is as tired as you, and just wants a few years without the additional hassles of renos going on. Do you think he was put out with the last few? hasn't had a dip in health (fatigue, sore knees or back) and mindset in the last 12mths? He hasn't got interested in golf or fishing or something else recently?
It would be good for you to understand what is consciously or subconsciously motivating him to resist. And as your partner, it would be good for him to clarify his reasoning or feelings for resisting you.
So how about spreadsheeting
two scenarios and do sensitivity analysis for growth and rates at different levels, then plot nice charts :- leave the reno cash in the bank or whatever he wants to do with it.
- do the reno.
This is more like a proper business approach, and if he can see that the worst case scenario for the reno spend isn't that bad, he might be less anxious about it. You might query him on what he and his mates think is going to happen with property over the next few years. Maybe he is hearing stuff about flat markets he hasn't shared with you.
Secondly, maybe he is as tired as you, and just wants a few years without the additional hassles of renos going on. Do you think he was put out with the last few? hasn't had a dip in health (fatigue, sore knees or back) and mindset in the last 12mths? He hasn't got interested in golf or fishing or something else recently?
It would be good for you to understand what is consciously or subconsciously motivating him to resist. And as your partner, it would be good for him to clarify his reasoning or feelings for resisting you.
Once Were Warriors could be a veritable gold mine of quotes for this thread!
I suspect like WW that he probably just wants to live somewhere for awhile without stepping over "works in progress". Based on the info presented with a five year timeframe I know I would just like to live there untouched for four years and ten months and then get stuck into the renos in the last two months after you have moved out.
But to each their own...
I suspect like WW that he probably just wants to live somewhere for awhile without stepping over "works in progress". Based on the info presented with a five year timeframe I know I would just like to live there untouched for four years and ten months and then get stuck into the renos in the last two months after you have moved out.
But to each their own...
Yep, or live elswhere for a few months now and do the lot and enjoy it for the next 5 years. Done this way however may mean a more timeless finish.
I don't think I could live in another reno again drawnout or otherwise but wouldn't have a problem with it if living elsewhere.
There's a good chance the problem isn't money if the profits have been big.
Sometimes people assume things when people aren't being direct due to fear of dampening their enthusiasm.
This may be the case here.
Ah, so you've just renovated and sold a PPOR. And did the same thing previously. And before that again. I'm with Winston and few others. Maybe he just wants a year or so where he can come home, watch telly, and not feel he should be on the tools. Maybe six months down the track he'll be up for it again, but I reckon talking renos before you've even unpacked the boxes from the move is probably really getting him down. Sometime people want a rest from the treadmill.
Are these things called husbands an asset or a liability?
Biggles
You have hit the nail on the head - they are a liability but we have to take them along for the ride & try to train them as we go!
Sheryn
Hee hee, agree.
This is a bit demeaning, but meant as tongue in cheek, so please don't be offended any males reading this....
I've been told to treat a man like a dog. Very simplistically, this means reward good behaviour & ignore the bad.
sit boo-boo sit, good dog
he started it!
we're moving from a property with a 4+workshop garage to a slightly bigger than normal double garage+small shed - and he really really wants a workshop area - so had been drawing up plans for the last two weeks now.
so, i graciously have given up some of my clothes drying area (i'm sure i'll working something out) so he can extend the current garage - but as it started life as a carport that was enclosed, it really needs to be torn down and rebuilt ... which i am happy with and it is included in the reno budget.
but - the garage forms part of the front boundary so, if it's rebuilt, we need to include the new front fence which is currently a low and hideous, cockroach loving brushbox.
we both want to replace it - so discussions (read: heated debate) have begun. being dated in his tastes, he wants something that just won't go with a modern contempary house (sigh).
so, while i was looking thru the mag's at fences, i took the time to pull out all that i liked ...
Yes but Lizzie is a different animal. An insatiable and passionate investor always ready for the next challenge.
oh dear - ousted
i also look at it as - when the reno is done in 5-10 years, the house will be worth significantly more. we can then sell to downsize to a similarly nice place but for half the cost ... the rest is early retirement, travel money. do have an okay super, but and extra mil or so won't go astray!
p.s. we're not "not" enjoying along the way ... heading out next week to find out about a 21 kenya safari later this year.
i also look at it as - when the reno is done in 5-10 years, the house will be worth significantly more. we can then sell to downsize to a similarly nice place but for half the cost ... the rest is early retirement, travel money. do have an okay super, but and extra mil or so won't go astray!
p.s. we're not "not" enjoying along the way ... heading out next week to find out about a 21 kenya safari later this year.
