Letting spouse in on home loan

[wylie]

I'm going through the legal world right now. Don't ever think you know what someone will do or how someone will behave .

I cannot help but think you should be behaving like a couple after five years together. (Please don't tell us that you split the grocery bill, the takeaway bill and the light bill .)

If you could transfer half the house into her name, would you then ask her to pay you half of what you've paid off the loan (ie $75K) so that everything is half/half?

If that is how you are feeling, then I think you need to keep this as a business partnership and not a relationship. If you love this person, have been with her for five years, and still worry about the fact that you have brought $150K to the relationship, then ask her to sign something so you can split things evenly, taking into account this figure. Don't forget that should babies come along, all your planning goes out the window.

If you are buying houses with her (to live in or rent out) then that is a huge commitment. I have adult children with such relationships so I'm not being critical. When our oldest bought a house with his partner we wanted him to protect the unit he already owned. But he didn't do that. He is taking a leap of faith. If things turn sour, his finances are only one part of the hurt he will be going through.

Right now he doesn't own much of the unit anyway, but in ten years' time, that will be a very different proposition. But in ten years, they will have done so much together and bought and sold houses and mingled their finances so much that trying to pinpoint who actually owes what and who owns what just would be a nightmare.

So, like most married or committed couples, they have worked out their lives to suit them in all matters, and splitting hairs over every dollar isn't the biggest thing on their agenda. (I'm not saying it is for you either, but it is coming across a bit that you are planning for when the relationship fails.)

 

[thetom]

I'm going through the legal world right now. Don't ever think you know what someone will do or how someone will behave .

I cannot help but think you should be behaving like a couple after five years together. (Please don't tell us that you split the grocery bill, the takeaway bill and the light bill .)

If you could transfer half the house into her name, would you then ask her to pay you half of what you've paid off the loan (ie $75K) so that everything is half/half?

If that is how you are feeling, then I think you need to keep this as a business partnership and not a relationship. If you love this person, have been with her for five years, and still worry about the fact that you have brought $150K to the relationship, then ask her to sign something so you can split things evenly, taking into account this figure. Don't forget that should babies come along, all your planning goes out the window.

If you are buying houses with her (to live in or rent out) then that is a huge commitment. I have adult children with such relationships so I'm not being critical. When our oldest bought a house with his partner we wanted him to protect the unit he already owned. But he didn't do that. He is taking a leap of faith. If things turn sour, his finances are only one part of the hurt he will be going through.

Right now he doesn't own much of the unit anyway, but in ten years' time, that will be a very different proposition. But in ten years, they will have done so much together and bought and sold houses and mingled their finances so much that trying to pinpoint who actually owes what and who owns what just would be a nightmare.

So, like most married or committed couples, they have worked out their lives to suit them in all matters, and splitting hairs over every dollar isn't the biggest thing on their agenda. (I'm not saying it is for you either, but it is coming across a bit that you are planning for when the relationship fails.)

If i was to transfer the house into both of our names it would be a clean half/half. She owns $175 i own $175.

It is more through family experiences that i am trying to keep it a little bit separate. I understand how a relationship works and i get that things will change later in life including kids. I just wanted to keep the big things separate.

I also understand the big commitment of buying a house together. That is the reason that i am wanting to bring her into the commitment of owning our PPOR together also.

I really just like to know where we stand.

 

[Aaron_C]

I just share everything without a second thought. Life's too short to worry about these things.

 

[thatbum]

I cannot help but think you should be behaving like a couple after five years together. (Please don't tell us that you split the grocery bill, the takeaway bill and the light bill .)

...from what I can tell, they sort of are?

The rationale seems to be more from an accounting/motivational point of view from what thetom has been describing. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I still think any change in titles etc is a massive waste of time and money, and as mentioned before, it could be recorded just separately if thats what you wanted to do as a couple.

And if its because so she can feel better about her name on the title, well that might be so, but its more than likely she (and yourself) are more than adequately protected by the default family laws.

Just on that point, it can be very useful from a family law sense to actually keep track of individual spending towards the relationship, as odd as that might sound. Particularly in shorter relationships, or ones without children.

 

[Aaron_C]

Just on that point, it can be very useful from a family law sense to actually keep track of individual spending towards the relationship, as odd as that might sound. Particularly in shorter relationships, or ones without children.

I think people have better things to do than that
Or if they did, it shows that the relationship was never going to last anyway

 

[thetom]

...from what I can tell, they sort of are?

The rationale seems to be more from an accounting/motivational point of view from what thetom has been describing. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I still think any change in titles etc is a massive waste of time and money, and as mentioned before, it could be recorded just separately if thats what you wanted to do as a couple.

And if its because so she can feel better about her name on the title, well that might be so, but its more than likely she (and yourself) are more than adequately protected by the default family laws.

Just on that point, it can be very useful from a family law sense to actually keep track of individual spending towards the relationship, as odd as that might sound. Particularly in shorter relationships, or ones without children.

Yes that's correct. More of an accounting point of view i guess.

We don't split the little things. It was just with the recent IP purchase we started to thing more about the PPOR.

 

[wylie]

If i was to transfer the house into both of our names it would be a clean half/half. She owns $175 i own $175.

Are you just transferring the house from your name to both names. That would be "giving" her half the house. But are you asking her to pay you half of the $150K you've paid off that house? And then, moving forward you both share the payments?

It is more through family experiences that i am trying to keep it a little bit separate. I understand how a relationship works and i get that things will change later in life including kids. I just wanted to keep the big things separate.

I also understand the big commitment of buying a house together. That is the reason that i am wanting to bring her into the commitment of owning our PPOR together also.

I really just like to know where we stand.

...from what I can tell, they sort of are?

The rationale seems to be more from an accounting/motivational point of view from what thetom has been describing. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I still think any change in titles etc is a massive waste of time and money, and as mentioned before, it could be recorded just separately if thats what you wanted to do as a couple.

And if its because so she can feel better about her name on the title, well that might be so, but its more than likely she (and yourself) are more than adequately protected by the default family laws.

Just on that point, it can be very useful from a family law sense to actually keep track of individual spending towards the relationship, as odd as that might sound. Particularly in shorter relationships, or ones without children.

I agree with this post. Early on, it is important but as the years tick by, it is so much less important because once babies come along, all the planning and keeping things 50/50 doesn't stand up anymore.

Everything we have is in my husband's name. It doesn't bother me one bit, and didn't bother me from the start. I trust him completely and even if that trust turns out to be naive, no way does he just walk away with the houses because his name is on the titles.

 

[thetom]

I agree with this post. Early on, it is important but as the years tick by, it is so much less important because once babies come along, all the planning and keeping things 50/50 doesn't stand up anymore.

Everything we have is in my husband's name. It doesn't bother me one bit, and didn't bother me from the start. I trust him completely and even if that trust turns out to be naive, no way does he just walk away with the houses because his name is on the titles.

I guess we could just share the payments from now on and forget the title. Call the $75000 a Christmas present haha.

 

[alexlee]

I guess we could just share the payments from now on and forget the title. Call the $75000 a Christmas present haha.

If this is going to be an issue for you, be up front about it and discuss it.

In practice, couples are never 'equal'. In the future, you have kids, one of you stays home and doesn't make an income but takes care of the children. How do you calculate that? You can't.

 

[thetom]

I guess this post has been an eye opener for me.

I am now leaning more towards the asking her for a contribution towards the loan and just calling it evens. We shall discuss tonight i guess.

 

[wylie]

If you do want to keep things separate until you are married, have babies or break up, then ask her to pay you half of the money you have put into the property, and she could have a lawyer draw up a mortgage (second mortgage?) over the house. That way it stays in your name, but she has a legal interest in it. (Would a caveat work?)

That saves changing the name on the title, leaves you with options should she stop work to have a family (in which case house in your name is better tax-wise - though with her paying you out, does that muddy the tax waters?). I think you could do this without registering the mortgage, so that it is only used if things don't go well.

But I'm guessing you wouldn't have bought an IP together if you didn't plan on being together?

That would make things 50/50, if that is what you really want to do.

Of course, you need a lawyer, but these are all things we looked at when our son entered his relationship.

 

[Terry_w]

A Will would sort out the case of death shouldn't it? We are both young and as such haven't thought about that kind of thing, although we should have.

A will is part of a plan, and will assist, but there are many side issues.

 

[Aaron_C]

A will is part of a plan, and will assist, but there are many side issues.

Indeed. Even if you do a will and it says 'I was not under any undue influence when doing this will and this is my final will to end all wills' it can still be challenged.