I didn't say that, I just don't like seeing people get bullied. No need to apologize to me, I assume you were apologizing to Qaz.
My friends in massive credit card debt
- Thread starter qaz
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I didn't say that, I just don't like seeing people get bullied. No need to apologize to me, I assume you were apologizing to Qaz.
So did I. There you go.
I pity his (if not now, soon-to-be) poor future wife!!!
Why? She's most likely a central part of the problem.
Maybe not. She may have absolutely no idea and thinks he's a good catch, when in fact, the only thing she may get out of all of this, is a list of creditors beating down her door when her charmer of a husband takes off because he owes everything (including the blouse on her back) to them!!!
Very unlikely. I had to tell him to read the thread twice before he did once and that was only because I told him all the links to places where he could refinance the debt (such as the infochoice link, thankyou to whoever gave me that).
I very much doubt he's been back on here since and that there is anything I can do to get him back on here as it will be too confronting for him.
He's already starting to avoid me.......
*edit* There is only one thing I could do, and it would most likely p*ss him off so very badly that he would then want to screw me over and send a link to this thread to his future wife. I think that would be a really really really bad idea unless my avenues other than taking him to court are all gone. Also she probably won't wanna hear it or beleive it so is only likely to turn her against me too.
Not surprising, maybe the embarrassment is getting to him, but then again, I don't know if people like this have a conscience so instead of embarrassment, they would convince themselves that it is somehow your fault.
Regards
Marty
Well it's pretty bad you told him to read this thread because he will feel like you've embarrassed him and his behavior in front of everyone. I would of just took evidence and then demand payments sooner. The wife is not going to be on your side, she will listen to the husband and what he feeds her.
Seems like you keep making bad decisions
Seems like you keep making bad decisions
Maybe not. She may have absolutely no idea and thinks he's a good catch, when in fact, the only thing she may get out of all of this, is a list of creditors beating down her door when her charmer of a husband takes off because he owes everything (including the blouse on her back) to them!!!
Wow. The fact that you automatically excuse her because she's female (this doesn't surprise me, you do it all the time) or because you try to paint her as amazingly stupid and so ignorant of her surroundings that she couldn't possibly have any idea what's going on, therefore bears absolutely no responsibility whatsoever in this situation, just spins me out. Reminds me of Malibu Stacy:
'Don't ask me, I'm just a girl! Ha ha! Ha ha!'
I think you are being a bit harsh there Mark. While I can see your point of view is probably that she is just as much to blame because he has probably spent considerable $$ on dining and entertaining, I think you also need to bear in mind that the fiancee may not be aware that her soon to be husband is living on credit.
My partner spends considerably more than I do on grooming (as in, beauty salon visits), personal products like shampoo, nail polish and skin cream, and trips to the hairdresser for colours* and stuff.
Some people are just high maintainence
*he's got nordic genes and this area is very overrepresented by brunettes so the local hairdressers ooh and aaah something severe when presented with very long blonde hair
Dear Qaz,
This situation just keeps escalating from bad to worse the more I read through this thread. It saddens me to see someone as kind hearted as yourself be taken advantage of.
Please do yourself a favour, LET HIM GO. It was easy enough for you to part with your money because you did it out of love, now do the same for the friendship; not so much for him but for yourself. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER than this $#%@!!er as a friend.
I am sorry for your loss (the money) not the friendship which died the minute this person (on 150K) had to ask you (on much less??) for a loan. But I know you'll be okay Qaz; it was an expensive lesson to learn and I'm sorry someone like you had to go through it.
I pity his (if not now, soon-to-be) poor future wife!!!
Yes nicely put! I dont think you will get your money back either. This man has taken advantage of you. Whats the bet that he will direct debit the $100 a week and then it will be put on the back burner and not pay you anything.
Perhaps its best for your mental health if you severe all ties with this guy! Its effecting your mental health. This will eat you up inside. It will then start to effect your physical health. Your anger and frustrations will eat away at you!! It is not good for you. You will become a negative person.
This is one of those lifes lessons for you to learn from! Take care and try hard to not let this guy effect you!! Try to learn from this mistake.
If dont know how you would go about making a legal contract with this guy. Would he even want to sign it?
She *may* not be aware that her soon to be husband is living on credit, skater. But there's also the distinct possibility she may not be aware that the sky is blue. I just cannot see how, given they are about to get married, that she is not aware of his spending habits, much less quite likely a central figure in said spending. My point being that she couldn't possibly be that ignorant, surely.
If she really is that aloof, then that's a real shame. I'm coming from the POV that she is an intelligent, self aware young woman who knows what is happening, not some ditzy chick who isn't capable of thinking of anything beyond what colour highlights she wants this week and which shade of lipstick goes best with those shoes, while her fiance surreptiously destroys her financially.
I presume she knows that he is on a large income. She may/may not know the exact amount of $$ that come in each week and where much of that amount goes. I know many people who have separate finances, even within marriage. Not the way our family works, but it is the way that some do. If this is the case it is quite likely that she does not know or understand where his income goes.
Your better than that mate. Your a good person. Do not worry.
Karma "what goes around comes around" If he gets away with this this time, somewhere down the track in his life he will get what is coming to him!
I am curious. Sometimes its the universes way of helping you to learn a lesson. Have you lent money to other people in the past or been too trusting of people and gotten burnt? I have learnt that if you dont learn your lessons as you go through life, your lesson will be more severe the next time around. But dont be afraid of it. Dont think of this as punishment (although its 1 expensive lesson) think about how you can grow from this experience. What positives can you take out of this. #1 this poisenous loser who you thought was your friend will be out of your life for good. He has revealed his true self to you! What else may he be capable of. Physical violence maybe, you dont know.
Is he getting aggressive? Is he becoming threatening?
If you believe as quoted above that he might screw you over if you do send this link to his wife. Trust your instincts ok! Dont go there! Move on! Listen to your gut! What is your gut saying? Your physical safety could be at risk!! He sounds mentally unstable if you ask me. How well do you know him?
Keep positive. Stay safe
Mark, are you inferring that I personally "do it all the time" excuse someone because they are female???
If you are, I think you have mistaken me for someone completely different, as I have never excused (made or accepted excuses from) anyone based on their gender, race, colour, religion, sexual orientation etc. I callz it as I seez it
and although on this occasion, I was merely trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, believe me, it has nothing to do with her being female; I would have made the same assumption if the situation were reversed, and SHE was the spend-thrift!!! Sure, she MAY know what's going on, and then again she MAY NOT. If she does, then she deserves what she gets in marrying this loser; if on the other hand she doesn't, then she probably still deserves (a little of) it, for not doing her HDD (husband due diligence)!!
unfortunately there are more of these around than the intelligent type.
I agree, but then there are very few that fit the characteristics of the ideal woman ;
- Loaded to the max, with cash falling out of her pockets
- Spunky as a minx on heat and
- Dumb as a box of rocks
I'm still on the lookout.....
