Partner's (non) Interest

angela

angela

Hi,

I was wondering if other couples are like my husband and I. I have always been pretty ambitious (when it comes to making money), and have always been the one who scans the papers and internet, drives around to open houses on the weekend, sorts out the finance etc etc, where my husband is almost totally dis-interested. We have a couple of units which were bought in his name only, and he has never even seen them. I signed a contract on a house last weekend, which I actually convinced him to drive past (under duress) just to try and spark a bit of interest. He says he trusts my judgement, and tells me to go for it if I find something I think is a good deal. In one way I like having the authority to be able to do this on my own, but on the other hand, it would be nice to be able to bounce stuff off him with him being able to understand what I'm talking about, lol. I could never imagine allowing ANYONE having such control over my future and finances, without being a part of the decision making process, so I'm wondering if there are other couples who are so unbalanced, or are we just weird? :confused:

Angela
 
we've been married for 12 years, and together for 15, so I wonder if we are qualified yet ;)
I guess it would be harder if both of us were control freaks!
 
Hi Angela,

I don't think your situation is unusual. I suppose we all have different interests and things that excite and inspire us. Obviously investing doesn't really interest your husband. He has better things to do!

In our situation my wife and I work pretty much as a team. I do the actual property research and run around looking at prospective purchases on the weekend. She really doesn't like doing this part of things at all, and objects when I take her on property inspections. She can only handle looking at one or two at a time, whereas I can happily look for the whole day.

However, my wife orgaizes all of the finance. Without her expertise in this area there is no way that we would be where we are today. She is fantastic at this aspect of the investment process. My wife will also do the final negotiations on a property purchase with the real estate agent. She is much better at this than I am.

Regards Jason.
 
HI Angela
I think your husband is exhibiting a great deal of trust in you - and it is a credit to you.

I note that my husband lets me do all the running around, searching for the properties, doing the initial inspections etc and there has been times when offers have been made without him inspecting the property. He is the official worrywart in our relationship - and does all the post purchase worrying. But he tends to get involved once the property is purchased as he is quite hands on and is quite a good handyman - so the property managers ring him first if there is any issue or repairs needing to be done.

Perhaps your husband may become more interested in time - when he realises those properties are going to fund his retirement.
thanks
 
angela said:
I have always been pretty ambitious (when it comes to making money).... where my husband is almost totally dis-interested.

Angela
Click to expand...

While disinterest may not be quite as good as outright support, it is probably a heck of a lot better than outright opposition.

Cheers,

The Y-man
 
Raddles said:
He is the official worrywart in our relationship - and does all the post purchase worrying.
Click to expand...

This is a pretty good mix I have found :) "The Entrepreneur" meets "The Manager" profile. One is all out ideas and creativity. The other plants the feet back on the ground, makes sure all the numbers work, follows up all the things that need to get done (the creative one usually forgets about the details....).

Cheers,

The Y-man
 
thanks for your responses.
It is good to hear that I'm not alone :) I can really vouch for the saying "opposites attract" as we are like chalk and cheese. Somehow it works though.
And Y-man, that is so true about disinterest being better than opposition. I suppose my husband trusts me because he has seen the good results we have had in the past (which he was initially opposed to!) and is happy to just go along for the ride now, as long as I don't talk to him about it too much,lol.
Although, sometimes when I am in the decision making process, it's a bit lonely and I think that if it all comes crashing down, it will be all my fault.
Touch wood, mostly good decisions so far, and my husband does give me the credit when he tells his family and friends about new purchases etc.
 
angela, you are lucky. Others have a terrible time trying to convince their partner to allow them to invest. To have one that allows you to invest as you please is nothing to be unhappy about.
 
Yep Angela it is the same with us.
She is happy to sign up to anything I propose which like you is great but at the same time quite daunting.
She likes the good results and thinks it "lucky" when it works but says I stuffed up when it doesn't quite!
Lucky mostly has tho'.
Cheers,
lbushwalker
 
We are also like you Angela. The last three houses we bought I just phoned my husband and asked if he would mind signing the contract that has just been faxed through to him.

I once went to an auction with my mother, three kids, three nephews and my dog and we came home with a house :eek:

I had to work up the courage to tell hubby what I had done. His answer "that's okay".

The biggest gripe I have is that no-one wants to deal with me. Because I do all the work and he just signs what is put in front of him I have to call the bank or insurance company or whatever, hand the phone to him to identify that he is in fact who he is supposed to be and he then says please speak to my wife. It is a joke really, but the privacy laws make dealing with people hard.

In organising interest in advance just recently, I was able to organise it for a loan with my name attached, but had to wait until hubby was home so he could identify himself and then hand the phone to me to do everything. Sometimes this privacy stuff makes things difficult.

Wylie
 
Hi Angela,

You are definately not alone!

We are currently in the settlement process on our first property and only now is he starting to ask questions, despite being given all sorts of material to read and cash flow print-outs to look at for the past few months.

I know what you mean about it being lonely.:( If I mess up he'll gladly blame me.

However, in a way I'm glad he wasn't involved. He is much more emotional than me, we may have ended up buying with our hearts not our (my) head.

Ricepud
 
I had to work up the courage to tell hubby what I had done. His answer "that's okay".
Click to expand...

LOL, Wylie, that's how I was last weekend! I had an appointment to 'inspect' a house, and came home and told him I signed a contract at the asking price. He just said "good, now that you've found one maybe I'll get some peace".
Not so, I have my eye on another one, but am trying to contain my excitement as best I can :)
After some badgering, he did do a drive by for the one I bought last weekend, and said it looked pretty good for the money, so I'm happy, that's all I need to hear.
 
Ricepud, this is quite an eyeopener, as I genuinely thought I was in an uncommon situation, but it seems that there are lots of us out there with partners who are happy for us to do it alone. :)
 
Angela, I'm certainly in that situation. When I met my fiancee I'd already started investing in property and shares. I've tried to explain it and she understands the basics, but really she doesn't care much. Of course she enjoys the benefits.....

Personally, I think I prefer it this way. If I need people to bounce ideas off, I have this forum and its members, and those of my friends who do invest. I think it would be worse if, say, my fiancee had her own ideas about what to invest in. She and I would argue over serviceability and who should get to choose the 'next' one.
Alex
 
Hi Angela

Just thought I add to it - same here: I do all the research, looking for houses, finance, paperwork etc. I didn't work full-time last year so the investing part became part of my job and while I'm full-time again it's stayed this way. Mind you I'm currently in the Caribbean for work and hubby is finishing off the painting at the last IP so he's really pulling his weight here!

I use this forum and the people I met through here and seminars as sounding board and then gently start to introduce new ideas to my husband - some will need more work and talking than others but he says he trusts me and as the biggest part of this game is action rather than inaction I guess the doers will do fine in the end...

Cheers

kaf
 
Am I the only one in Adelaide??

Thank God, there are others like me out there. My partner prefers the couch and footy on the weekends. I got a bit lonely driving around, so I asked a female friend to come out with me. She could not read the maps, talked too much to the RE agent and wasted time walking too slow.
So I do it all on my own. Even now he is asleep on that couch, and I am on here looking for another IP. Even when the brokers come over, they try and make conversation with him about the money, but they quickly realise that I am the financial controller in this partnership.
But, he trusts me and does not mind how much good debt I put him in, as I told him he is working until he is 105 to pay off the loans. I tried explaining to him how we will be living off the equity in about 10 years, and he got lost after the first spreadsheet......
I even do all the basic repairs around the house, he is too busy surfing channels......
 
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