... that the kids who can't handle the numerous ways that other kids will antagonise them...
It wasn't just kids calling names in schoolyards; it was some adults.
Those who can handle it and have a laugh are usually well accepted and often become too cool!The ones who get fired up, get offended and throw a hissy; usually get more of the same treatment.
You say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but hey I'll give it a try. If you were a white male and you were doing the name calling, we can assume that you were in the dominant group, had the majority and the power (the privilege). It's not for you to decide who does and who doesn't get insulted. What matters is how the person/people being called the names feel about it.
I could call all Jews tight**** and think it's an affectionate term. But it doesn't matter what I think about it; it is how the Jew feels about it.
Privilege is invisible to people who have it. People in dominant groups often believe that they have earned the privileges that they enjoy. In fact, privileges are unearned and they are granted to people in the dominant groups whether they want those privileges or not. Unlike the targets, people in dominant groups are frequently unaware that they are members of the dominant group due to the privilege of being able to see themselves as persons rather than stereotypes.
The Greeks and the Italians turned the other cheek when they were called those names because they were too classy to do otherwise. They didn't want to make trouble. The fact that they didn't punch anyone in the nose says a lot about the kind of people they were. They came here, worked hard to make a life for their kids, and did very well for themselves.
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