Some people are like poison

[LoneWolf]

Hey folks,

How do you deal with kinda of person?
They are so negative and skeptical about anything / everything
Their life is probably so miserable and they just can't seem to be happy to see other's smiling, and must pull you down to their level.

Now, the easy thing you probably thinking is to "just avoid", but unfortunately you must come into contact with them on a daily basis, and at time seek for their opinion etc..

Now, each time you in contact with this person, you just want to strangle the day light out of them, let alone having a sophisticated conversation.
How do you deal with it? Please share your wise advise

Thanks

 

[Spades]

Hi LoneWolf,

I tend to let them ramble on and smile and nod.

It's only annoying if you let it get to you.

Cheers Spades.

 

[devank]

Did you meet my MIL LoneWolf?

 

[kathryn d]

Just smile and nod...like Spades said.

As soon as you can get away...run

 

[jim1964]

Did you meet my MIL LoneWolf?

HaHa.Touchy subject.I have had 4.

 

[LoneWolf]

Did you meet my MIL LoneWolf?

LOL!!

Luckily I do no have this issue, and not the MIL

Thanks for all the feedback, will learn to smile and walk away or run as some suggested

 

[geoffw]

So somebody calling themselves LoneWolf complains about somebody else who seems like poison. Wow. ;-)

 

[LoneWolf]

So somebody calling themselves LoneWolf complains about somebody else who seems like poison. Wow. ;-)

Yes, I am bad!! Stay away rooarrrr.....

 

[EN710]

...you just want to strangle the day light out of them

Do just that.

I feel you though. When I have energy, I go with the "why" strategy. Just ask them why they feel a certain way, or think a certain way. Then nod nod "that's interesting". They seem to like the attention.

When I don't have the energy... smile and in the most playful tone "hahaha Bob, don't be a jerk"

 

[Ace in the Hole]

Now, the easy thing you probably thinking is to "just avoid", but unfortunately you must come into contact with them on a daily basis, and at time seek for their opinion etc..

The only way this would be possible was if you were locked up in jail, but it doesn't seem to be the case here.
You definitely have a choice.

Either get away from them, get them away from you, or be upfront with them and tell them you don't want to listen to any of their negative shlt any more !!!

 

[The Y-man]

Hey folks,

How do you deal with kinda of person?
They are so negative and skeptical about anything / everything
Their life is probably so miserable and they just can't seem to be happy to see other's smiling, and must pull you down to their level.

Now, the easy thing you probably thinking is to "just avoid", but unfortunately you must come into contact with them on a daily basis, and at time seek for their opinion etc..

Now, each time you in contact with this person, you just want to strangle the day light out of them, let alone having a sophisticated conversation.
How do you deal with it? Please share your wise advise

Thanks

You need a higher "SQ" (Spiritual Quotient)

Have a read of Danah Zohar's "Spiritual Capitalism"



The Y-man

 

[LoneWolf]

Interesting to see the different prospectives of each response, here is a summary so far

1) Ignore and run
2) questions whether it is their MIL
3) question about myself/name
4) strangle them
5) in jail? no... not yet, maybe after I have strangled them
6) more running..
7) read a book, again, question myself

 

[weg]

The problem is you're responding to them and encouraging them to talk further.

Learn to answer, "hmmm", "ok", "if you think so", really' with a disinterested look on your face. Give very little eye contact.

Whatever you do don't indulge them in conversation.

The type i hate the most is the compulsive talker. To make it worse they usually don't get these hints.

 

[lizzie]

Put you imaginary earplugs in - any parent owns a set - and have an escape plan "I have to go and ... "

 

[nhg]

I'll assume you're referring to the chronic bad day people, and not those who genuinely could use an ear to listen whom I have no issue lending one to.

These days i'm pretty direct about it. "please don't cross the boundaries of our friendship". There was a time I assumed it would fade off over time. I realised miserable people can be quite persistent finding things to be miserable about.

Life may be the longest thing i'll ever do, but i'll be damned if I plan spending any of it on those who wish to live an empty life.

 

[malaga]

Be happy around them, laugh, joke be positive. It annoys the hell out of miserable people to see somebody else happy.

 

[BayView]

Interrupt them midsentence with "look; I'm a bit busy right now and have to do some stuff, so can we revisit this a bit later?"

This is the only way I can do it at my workplace because it is the customers that are like this, and I am trapped there.

This strategy works.

 

[geoffw]

Be happy around them, laugh, joke be positive. It annoys the hell out of miserable people to see somebody else happy.

I'm with Malaga.

A little bit of humour can work well in disarming people.

 

[mikezen]

Hey folks,

How do you deal with kinda of person?
They are so negative and skeptical about anything / everything
Their life is probably so miserable and they just can't seem to be happy to see other's smiling, and must pull you down to their level.

Now, the easy thing you probably thinking is to "just avoid", but unfortunately you must come into contact with them on a daily basis, and at time seek for their opinion etc..

Now, each time you in contact with this person, you just want to strangle the day light out of them, let alone having a sophisticated conversation.
How do you deal with it? Please share your wise advise

Thanks

Without knowing what emotional battles the person is dealing with, I would be hesitant to pass judgement, but as with most fellow human beings the " need for something to be different from what it is" is the driving force behind most people's anguish and suffering

Many people suffer deep emotional pain, more often silent than noticeable and through a confused mental filter, they see takeing it out on others as a vent and a escape.
The sad thing about this behaviour is that it usually reinforces the same mental state and prolongs the pain even more, kind of like being shot with a arrow in the chest and then shooting another one into oneself to try and stop the pain

The world wide problem is that human beings continually separate themselves from each other through all the obvious means, and as the gap widens the problem worsens

Although we are continually wound up in all our own personal endeavours and problems, sometimes to help and close the gap all it takes is to realise that the poisonous person that ruffles your feathers so often, is not truley aware of how their actions and mental state causes so much hurt around and inside of them and that not passing judgment or even just letting go of any anger towards them your helping to close the gap and make the world a better place.
what's even More ironic about acting this way compassionately is that you "unusually" start to gain a understanding of yourself and your own feelings of displacement, malice and uncomfort and these are then slowly diminished and your left with a joyful feeling of life that is so unique no amount of equity could buy it

 

[Player]

Hey folks,

How do you deal with kinda of person?
They are so negative and skeptical about anything / everything
Their life is probably so miserable and they just can't seem to be happy to see other's smiling, and must pull you down to their level...............

Tell them to read the following thread and the linked article so they can wallow in their pit of despond and implode with their negativity:

http://somersoft.com/forums/showthread.php?t=93193