I'm not sure if this Storm Appeal I've received is real or not, it looks a bit sus...
Rockingham Storm Appeal
Torrential rain and strong winds hit Rockingham in the early hours of last night.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, flannies soaked, woollen trackies sagging, muttering 'Faaackinell'.
Flood waters devastated the area causing approximately $30 worth of damage.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. With many enraged locals woken well before their Centrelink cheques arrived.
The Rockingham Times reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Read St.
One resident - Tracy Maree Sharon Britney Madonna Skye-Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said 'It was such a shock, my little daughter Chardonnay-Mercedes came running in to my bedroom crying. My youngest two Joachim and River slept through it all.' It was all over so quick, the water rushed in the front door and out the back; – it was amazing, the place has never been so clean!”
Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Bacardi-Breezers to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care Cards, Jewellery from Kmart and Bone China from Big W.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include: flannelette shirts, tight blue jeans or spandex, singlets (blue & white) white sport socks, Ugg boots, hoodies and any other items usually sold in Priceline or The Reject Shop.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs urgently needed include: Microwave meals, Baked Beans, Ice cream, Sarah Lee Frozen Cheesecakes, Chips, all Fizzy drinks, Wagon Wheels, Tim Tams, Coco Pops and Fruit Loops. No Diet Coke Please!
Donations of $25.00 will be taken to buy a packet of Winny blue 25s and a lighter and possibly a can of Jim Beam to calm the nerves of those affected.
All donations can be deposited at one of the many local centrelink outlets to assist
Thank you for your help.