The New Black - internet dating

[Ecogirl]

Fellow Forumites
I write this cos I'm a gutless wench who is trying to not be gutless and by coming out of the closet I'm attempting to widen my personal comfort zone.

I used to have preconceived ideas about the type of person who would participate on the whole internet dating scene, namely:
- desperate
- dateless
- really ugly
- socially incompetant.

Well I'm none of them (my opinion) and I know a few people from different walks of life who don't fit the above criteria either, but they are on the internet dating scene and having a great time.

I still believe there is a stigma attached to trying to find a partner in the new millenium by the net. I thought I might participate in rsvp.com.au to see what happens and try to kill the stigma. So I'm still embarrassed but what the hell - life goes on and I might meet a lovely guy when I move to Mackay in March.

Here is my profile Scubagirl007

What do you guys think about the whole online dating thing?

Ecogirl

 

[Aceyducey]

Ecogirl,

Internet dating beats the hell out of hanging around badly lit bars & competing for the few interesting people in the room before they get too drunk.

Good luck with it!

Cheers,

Aceyducey

 

[Pete]

right attitude

Ecogirl,

With a profile of "enthusiastic optimist", a signature about only you can change your life, and your post - you're clearly a winner whatever happens; you've got a great attitude.

A workmate in Brisbane last year met her husband on line and was very happy.

One thing I've noticed, I have a different attitude - for the better - since becoming involved with property investing. Perhaps you've noticed changes in yourself through investing & this forum?

Best wishes,

 

[Andrew_A]

It's cool

One idea: "Dance Classes"

I attended two evenings of "LeStep" on the Coast last year at the prompting of one forummite who dances like John Travolta They are a dance company that hold dance classes for beginners to experienced people, you learn a few new steps each evening and get to practice them or move on to more advanced dance, and you are always rotating partners so you get to meet everybody.

In an interesting demonstration of horizontal business integration (cough) the dance company also has "wedding packages" they are so succesfull at getting people together!

From their website: http://www.lestep.com.au/content/home.asp?

Warning! We have almost twenty couples who met at Le Step classes and are now married or are engaged to be married.

Some of them now have kids too. So watch out, you could be next!

Seriously, we think it's great that so many people have found the person of their dreams at our classes. We work at ensuring our classes are not sleazy 'pick-up joints' but at the same time, our classes do provide a brilliant opportunity to meet people.

Congratulations to all those couples who have met at our classes and are now very happy together!

I'd say every city in Australia of decent size would have something similar to this, and it's a friendly no pressure way to meet others through a "sport".

 

[monoply]

I met my wife at church. If your looking for a non-light drinker, non smoker, it may not be the worst idea. But then again it might be. Depends on who you are and your thoughts on church.


As far as the internet dating thing goes, do worry what others think. It could be the best thing you do, or the worst. Only time will tell.

 

[agent 86]

Good on you Ecogirl/Scubagirl007.

Someone or two on this forum a while back said they were an item because of rsvp.Got married from memory.Cant remember who though.

As Im sure you'd know, common interests are a good start, so why not start up a CQ investing club or get a weekend job on a dive boat.

all the best.

A86

 

[geoffw]

Meeting someone online can be good- because you get to know somebody a little more for what they are before you make preconceived ideas of what they are because of what they look like- whether they look attractive or unattractive.

 

[XBenX]

Few girls here in my office are on RSVP - some of them quite attractive - I could never do it - how could I tell if they pass the first prerequisite? Pro snowboarder? =P

 

[likewow]

Meeting someone online can be good- because you get to know somebody a little more for what they are before you make preconceived ideas of what they are because of what they look like- whether they look attractive or unattractive.

A divorced friend of mine has done very well on the dating sites. He isnt looking for permenant relationship tho

Usually they exchange photos pretty early on the piece and if the looks are not suitable, well they say seeya online. saves a lot of drama later.

 

[wish-ga]

I met my wife at church.

As far as the internet dating thing goes, do worry what others think

I am Catholic and if you are too old for youth group and not a parent our church doesn't include you. I even tried to volunteer but felt out of place as I was the only one who didn't have kids.

Other churches have a lot of social events which is great...if you go to those churches. I have a girl at my work that would like to meet a guy through her church (not catholic) but no luck either.

As Dr Phil says "put yourself in a target rich environment" hence the RSVP ecogirl is doing.

As per the comment saying don't worry what others think, I agree!!!! I have had people suggest online dating to me and others pipe up and say "Naw, that is for losers".

Easy for them to say as usually they were fortunate enough to meet someone when young and go into a serious long term relationship. Not all of us have friends who know lots of singles. (I am sure that people who are divorced have the same situation, everyone is already matched up and socialise in couples)

As per a previous thread would all the single interested eligible men attending Somersoft forums please wear a flower in their lapel???!!!??!

 

[Glebe]

A divorced friend of mine has done very well on the dating sites. He isnt looking for permenant relationship tho

Usually they exchange photos pretty early on the piece and if the looks are not suitable, well they say seeya online. saves a lot of drama later.

Buy the champ a beer for me.

 

[quoll]

Ecogirl

It's all about getting into a situation where you can meet lots of people, I met the wife in a department store, both of us worked there!

I was a stockboy, running stuff around, delivering stock to the floors, got to meet helps of people.

Been married 13 years.

good luck.
quoll

 

[Ecogirl]

Thanks guys for the support and the great ideas. I really think that when I'm ready someone will appear over the horizon but I intend to make heaps of new friends in the mean time in my new home town of sunny Mackay.

Hopefully I'll have weekends off, so I plan on volunteering on a dive boat when I get there and hopefully get free diving as well - that would be bliss.

Or maybe I'll get friendly with the guys at Bunnings while I'm renovating

I guess I'm only limited by my imagination.

Cheers
Ecogirl

 

[Kristine..]

Hi Ecogirl

When I had the shop there was a mother / daughter combo who used to be regular visitors. The mother was chatty and outgoing, but I don't think the daughter said anything unless she was asked a direct question.

Imagine my surprise when they came in one day, saying the daughter was going to Germany to be married!

She had met a young man over the internet, he could write in English but not speak it very well and she spoke no German at all. The mother was going with her to make sure that everything was OK, which it was. The wedding photos were lovely, snow on the ground, the groom's parents looked nice people,and the bride started language lessons.

The internet gave them a chance to develop a relationship in the way that pen-pals used to. There is no difference, after all many women wrote to the men on active service during the Wars and there were actually pubicity campaigns asking them to do so. It was not uncommon for romance to blossom from these letters and the internet just provides a modern venue for sharing ideas and developing relationships (friendships as well!).

Mike came here for a six week contract for the Esso Schnapper jacket project, got off the plane, met me the next morning, and we were married shortly thereafter. That was 25 years ago.

Everything happens when we are ready for it.

Good luck

Kristine

 

[Kenny]

Hello Ecogirl,

Good on you for taking the initiative of Internet dating etc to meet people. I have altogether too many single male friends who refuse to take any steps to meet someone yet whine about how hard it all is.

I have to agree with WaySolid re: dance classes and similar social activities as being great non "threatening" avenues to meet new friends. My wife and I met thru Ceroc (dance) way back last millenium and both agree it was an easy way to break the ice.

I just had a quick Google at Mackay and it looks absolutely stunning as a new home town.

All the best,

Kenny

 

[quiggles]

I agree about dance - the real problem is that more women go than men, in my experience, and therefore you're often in a competition rich environment. Stanley goes through a lot of stuff about marriage and target rich environments - for the RIGHT type of person - in 'The millionaire mind".

Best of luck, and have fun

 

[sydneycider]

Go for it Ecogirl !!

I've tried it for a few years and mostly I see it as good way to meet new people without the stress of dealing with smokey bars and trying to come up with tacky one liners.

Had various success with it. You can tend to waste a lot of time with it, but saying that have met a handful of people who are now good friends.

Good luck with the move to Mackay.

 

[geoffw]

Thanks guys for the support and the great ideas.

Whatever you do, don't go on a tour.

I met MrsW on a Contiki tour. Today is our 17th anniversary.

(Actually, we were married twice- by law and by church- and usually I remember both anniversaries. But MrsW doesn't remember the 33 I've remembered so far. She only ever reminds me of the single one I forgot )

 

[Kenny]

Whatever you do, don't go on a tour.

I met MrsW on a Contiki tour. Today is our 17th anniversary.

Ah, Contiki tours. What fond memories I have of those days. Both of the tours I went on however had a far greater number of girls than guys. My UK one for example had 4 guys including myself and 30 girls. The other guys spent their time together getting drunk all trip.

I had a fun time.

Sorry Ecogirl, just reminiscing.

Regards,

Kenny

 

[MichaelW]

Good on you

Scubagirl,

You're on a winner. I read your profile, and you'll definately get a lot of good responses I think. If I wasn't married, I would have sent you one! My wife and I are big in to the outdoor stuff, we go camping regularly and are both open water divers, I'm advanced. We're off to Africa on holidays in 3 weeks time, and both live life to the max as well as being in to REI etc.

There's lots of people like you and us out there, just got to find a mechanism to connect with them.

My wife is a QLD girl, from Mt Isa. We met doing officer training in the Army Reserves together. We're both out of that now, but it was a surprising place to meet your future wife I guess. I'm 34 and she's got a couple of years head start on me...

Anyway, I know you'll meet Mr Right some time soon if you're open to it.

Cheers,
Michael.