The Off Topic Thread
- Thread starter HiEquity
- Start date
What is this world coming too!!
Although mum said that's yours, so the signs don't surprise me so much..
Although mum said that's yours, so the signs don't surprise me so much..
If you like what's there, I post the signs on Twitter. Follow subwaybelconnen.What is this world coming too!!
Although mum said that's yours, so the signs don't surprise me so much..
What I posted today on Twitter didn't even go on the sign.
"In space, noone can smell your fear".
Went in to see the Michael Jackson movie today and when you look into his face and eyes and see how fit he was it makes it hard to understand how anyone can die in the way he did,very sad,i know a lot of people think he was something different,but i like what he said to the young Australian Blonde Lady Musicain,now is your time to shine...willair..
Postal Service Recall
Australia Post created a stamp with a picture of the Prime Minister of Australia….Kevin Rudd.
The stamp was not sticking to envelopes.
This enraged the Prime Minister, who demanded a full investigation.
After a month of testing and spending of $1.73 million, a
special commission presented the following findings:
1. The stamp is in perfect order.
2. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
3. People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp
Australia Post created a stamp with a picture of the Prime Minister of Australia….Kevin Rudd.
The stamp was not sticking to envelopes.
This enraged the Prime Minister, who demanded a full investigation.
After a month of testing and spending of $1.73 million, a
special commission presented the following findings:
1. The stamp is in perfect order.
2. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
3. People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp
My period is now so late I should probably stop ignoring it ... and go get a stick to pee on or see the doc or something. And remember what they taught in high school biology.
But I feel absolutely wonderful! Not a thing wrong with me! Who wants to go see a doc when you feel perfectly fine!
Also, babies really like packets of tissues: http://giraffian.com/files/images/tissuetrouble.jpg
But I feel absolutely wonderful! Not a thing wrong with me! Who wants to go see a doc when you feel perfectly fine!
Also, babies really like packets of tissues: http://giraffian.com/files/images/tissuetrouble.jpg
Oh she knows she's been bad - look at that little face!
Just pee on a stick if you feel that good, you can always see the doc later
True Love
An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Darling, Honey, My Love, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, etc..
The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over to his host, and said: "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said. "Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, -- and I'm scared to death to ask the old girl what it is."
An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Darling, Honey, My Love, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, etc..
The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over to his host, and said: "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said. "Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, -- and I'm scared to death to ask the old girl what it is."
LOVE IT! haha
I swear razors have something against me, it's like they go out on a quest to cut my legs up
Don't Assume.
A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the Acting CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the Acting CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the Acting CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine, "I just need one copy."
Lesson: Never, ever assume that your boss knows what he's doing.
A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the Acting CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the Acting CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the Acting CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine, "I just need one copy."
Lesson: Never, ever assume that your boss knows what he's doing.
extra family friendly version
Three dogs, a Doberman, a Boxer, and a Labrador are sitting in
the waiting room at the vet's office when they strike up a conversation.
The Doberman turns to the Boxer and says, "So why are you here?"
The Boxer replies, "I'm a pee'er. I pee on everything, the sofa, the
cat, the kid, but the final straw was last night, when I pee'ed in the
middle of my owner's bed."
The Doberman says, "So what is the vet going to do?" The Boxer
said sadly, "Lethal injection,"
The Doberman then turns to the Labrador and asks, "Why are
you here?" The Lab says, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig
up flowers and trees. I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I
dig up the carpets. I went over the line last night when I dug a great
big hole in my owner's couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the Doberman inquired.
"Lethal injection," the dejected Labrador said.
The Labrador then turns to the Doberman and asks what he's at
the vet's office for. "I'm a cuddler" the Doberman says. "I'll cuddle
anything. I'll cuddle the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever.
I want to cuddle everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just gotten
out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just
couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started cuddling away."
The Boxer and Labrador exchange a sad glance and say, "So, lethal
injection for you too, huh?"
The Doberman says, "No, no, I'm here to get my nails clipped. My owner really likes getting cuddled."
Three dogs, a Doberman, a Boxer, and a Labrador are sitting in
the waiting room at the vet's office when they strike up a conversation.
The Doberman turns to the Boxer and says, "So why are you here?"
The Boxer replies, "I'm a pee'er. I pee on everything, the sofa, the
cat, the kid, but the final straw was last night, when I pee'ed in the
middle of my owner's bed."
The Doberman says, "So what is the vet going to do?" The Boxer
said sadly, "Lethal injection,"
The Doberman then turns to the Labrador and asks, "Why are
you here?" The Lab says, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig
up flowers and trees. I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I
dig up the carpets. I went over the line last night when I dug a great
big hole in my owner's couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the Doberman inquired.
"Lethal injection," the dejected Labrador said.
The Labrador then turns to the Doberman and asks what he's at
the vet's office for. "I'm a cuddler" the Doberman says. "I'll cuddle
anything. I'll cuddle the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever.
I want to cuddle everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just gotten
out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just
couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started cuddling away."
The Boxer and Labrador exchange a sad glance and say, "So, lethal
injection for you too, huh?"
The Doberman says, "No, no, I'm here to get my nails clipped. My owner really likes getting cuddled."
My neighbour across the road is named Con. Another guy has moved in recently next door to him and his name is Dom. One day hubby walks out and the neighbours were chatting, hubby says, G'day Con, Dom. There was a couple of seconds silence, then they said, hello back. The kids thought it was funny that their names rhymed so they made up lots of Con Dom songs, shouting them out as they were jumping on the trampoline. Till I told them what it meant and they stopped. Today I accidently called Con, Dom. As soon as I said it I realised and I didn't know what to do, eventually he said hello back.
Ha! So true.
My Uncle was a very high ranking exec in Exxon - an industrial chemist by qualification. Very intelligent and funny man.
Couldn't screw in a screw.
I love these theories, wish they worked.
I'm not one of these people who can 'trick' myself into anything
.Saying that, I have eaten less this week and drunk more water and have gone nowhere near any scales.
Sorry to hear that. There is nothing worse than getting a cold or the flu at this time of the year.
Hope you feel better soon.
I rarely have junk food, and eat heaps of green stuff and/or fruit & drink heaps of water & decent fruit juice every day, and i can't remember the last time i had a flu.
I might have a cold for about a week at most per year - at the first sign of any sickness i'll up the food & drink intake (as in over 1kg of good food and over 2 litres of water), and even work hard on something to sweat it out - some people say this would make things worse
But it seems to work for me.I'm no doctor though, so don't blame me if doing this ends up getting you constipated, bloated, and rolling around on the floor in pain - but i seriously doubt that would happen, that's like a worst case scenario.
Me too, usually don't feel them that much. Screw this, I'm going home for a lie down...
I rarely have junk food, and eat heaps of green stuff and/or fruit & drink heaps of water & decent fruit juice every day, and i can't remember the last time i had a flu.
I might have a cold for about a week at most per year - at the first sign of any sickness i'll up the food & drink intake (as in over 1kg of good food and over 2 litres of water), and even work hard on something to sweat it out - some people say this would make things worse
I'm no doctor though, so don't blame me if doing this ends up getting you constipated, bloated, and rolling around on the floor in pain - but i seriously doubt that would happen, that's like a worst case scenario.
LOL! When I was skating, I used to sweat it out. Unfortunately I can't do that now. I have always been prone to colds & flu, and have had a reasonably clear year of it this year, so I can't complain too much.
