What the.......

[skater]

Mr Skater is the youngest of 7 and all of them, without exception, have earnt more from their jobs than we have. They all live in nicer homes as well. While at a recent family gathering Mr Skater let it slip that we had purchased another house & that it had a fair bit of work to do to it. Next thing you know one of his elder brothers is offering to come & help with the painting (at a cost of $30 per hour) since he is temporarily out of work.

What do you say to something like this? I was deeply offended as:

1) I don't work myself & can paint just fine.

2) Mr Skater doesn't earn $30ph in his job and we are one income only.

3) I am sure that is more than a painter would charge, & they would do the job a lot quicker.

While we don't go out and advertise the fact that we own property, the family do know that we have a few. I try not to mention new purchases as I get the feeling that the entire family think that we are very well off, and while that may be the case someday, we are still at the growing stage.

Do other forumites have family & friends trying to do this sort of thing?

 

[Punchy]

He isn't offering to "come & help" he is offering an exchange of labour for money.

I'd give it a big miss as $$$ and family tend not to mix.

IMO you have every right to be offended. However handling the problem in a way that allows the next family get together may be a bit tricky.

My suggestion is to politely (through gritted teeth?) say thanks for the offer but no thanks. In the future it may pay to keep mouth closed re. investments and if asked be non-commital. If asked for advice offer up beginner books and tell them that when they have read the books that you'd be happy to chat to them about any concerns they have. I believe that this is in one of Jan's books Story by Story with the Future millionairs club (great book)

My ten cents.

 

[skater]

Hi Punchy, we don't usually tell family anything unless they ask. Problem is there are a lot of neices & nephews in the young 30's-late 20's age range and a few of them are very curious about investments, and they ask lots of questions. We are very open with them, as the older generation are very risk averse and they get lots of well meaning but poor advice. Mr Skaters brother must have overhear a conversation with one of the nephews, as neither myself or him can recall telling him about this one. We did politely decline the offer, but you just can't tell how he took it.

 

[Sultan of Swing]

I know where you're coming from Mr Skater.

Along similar lines, I've been looking at IPs in my area and considering building some units

One of my close relatives heard about it and asked whether they could rent it long term. I know he'd pay regularly and look after the property but what happens when I want to increase the rent, etc and how many extra improvements is he going to want?

Its turned me off enough to now be looking anywhere BUT in Tassie.

Good luck with your scenerio.

 

[skater]

SOS, does the Housing Department rent units in your area. If so, maybe you could say that you already have a deal with the Housing Department for any new units?

 

[Jacque]

I know where you're coming from Mr Skater.

Along similar lines, I've been looking at IPs in my area and considering building some units

One of my close relatives heard about it and asked whether they could rent it long term. I know he'd pay regularly and look after the property but what happens when I want to increase the rent, etc and how many extra improvements is he going to want?

Its turned me off enough to now be looking anywhere BUT in Tassie.

Good luck with your scenerio.

Hehe I've heard enough nightmare stories about renting out to relatives/close friends to put me off for life

I actually employed my brother to put in a kitchen for me at an IP and also do the tiling. We agreed on an amount that I considered fair, and my brother being the perfectionist that he is, did a great job and all were happy
I had other quotes and knew how much less I was prepared to pay. If he hadn't wanted to do it, he would have just said Thanks but no thanks and that would have been OK too. I did stress, however, that I considered it a strict business arrangement from the beginning and booked his Saturdays in advance

I can, however, see how you would be upset in this situation, as your relative should have waited for you to ask him first, instead of assuming you would simply hire him. After all, if there's no benefit in employing him over someone else, why would you?
I'm so fussy with painting, that it takes me a while to find someone good. There is a lot more to just slapping the stuff on the walls

 

[kissfan]

Hi skater

Personally, I would not charge family, or even close friends for that matter, anything for doing them any sort of favours and I'm sure the same would apply if they lent me a hand. Sure, if a family member was some sort of tradesman and did work for you, you could expect to pay for materials etc but a good meal and a few beers should take care of any labour charges.

Regards
Marty

 

[JoannaK]

my brother, who is 21, is a lazy so and so, and desperately money hungry being on an apprentice wage. My dad purchased a new property recently that needed some work.

My brother went with dad to look at the property, and my brother said to dad, "dad, I'll help you clean the place up and mow the grass for you over the next few saturdays". Dad, thinking he'd finally gotten through to his son said "thanks mate, that would be great". My brother then replied "no worries dad, I need all the money I can get. Can you pay me cash?"

 

[quiggles]

We have used various rellies to do work, at a fair wage and with a generally good result. At the same time, it's been a pretty business-like relationship - timesheets and the works, and we probably now are thought of as being mega rich, at least by the distaff side. (On my side, I'm the least distinguished, so it's a non-issue).

I don't see it the way you do, skater, and I'd guess that's because I wasn't there at the time to hear him fronting you and possibly assuming that you already had the hand in the wallet.

But it can work, if everyone's expectations are clear and the project is not too long and drawn out.

 

[geoffw]

I've employed my 15yo daughter at Subway. To bew honest, I would not have employed her from an interview- too quiet and withdrawn. Initially she didn't even have the confidence to serve customers. But she's blossomed, and is doing very well now.

Money handling skills are another matter though

 

[qaz]

I've employed my 15yo daughter at Subway. To bew honest, I would not have employed her from an interview- too quiet and withdrawn. Initially she didn't even have the confidence to serve customers. But she's blossomed, and is doing very well now.

Money handling skills are another matter though

Investing and money handling I guess isn't genetic then

 

[geoffw]

Investing and money handling I guess isn't genetic then

It's something which is learnt- and you need a motivation to learn.

I met an old colleague last week. He introduced my to his teenage grandson- "Here's the financial genius I told you about". By the standards of many around us, most of us here are financial geniuses.

 

[skater]

We have used various rellies to do work, at a fair wage and with a generally good result. At the same time, it's been a pretty business-like relationship - timesheets and the works, and we probably now are thought of as being mega rich, at least by the distaff side. (On my side, I'm the least distinguished, so it's a non-issue).

I don't see it the way you do, skater, and I'd guess that's because I wasn't there at the time to hear him fronting you and possibly assuming that you already had the hand in the wallet.

But it can work, if everyone's expectations are clear and the project is not too long and drawn out.

I, too, have employed my own children, at a fair hourly rate to do work. Have had no problems in that area at all. I guess the thing that upset me was the amount of $$ he presumed his time was worth. If I had said that I was going to hire a painter & told him the price of the quote, & his reply was that he would do it for me for the same amount, that would be another story. Truth of the matter is that we are not getting anyone in to do it as I am a very capable painter, and if we were it would be considerable cheaper than him doing the work.

 

[Kevin Hockey]

I've employed my 15yo daughter at Subway. To bew honest, I would not have employed her from an interview- too quiet and withdrawn. Initially she didn't even have the confidence to serve customers. But she's blossomed, and is doing very well now.

Money handling skills are another matter though

Geoff - How do you think it will effect the other staff if the bosses daughter makes errors but its ok because she's family. How will you deal with them if they treat customers the same or make money handling errors? It's a hard call, do you give your own flesh and blood an obvious kickstart in life and some direction or take a hard nosed business approach?

I intend to bring my boys into my business in the future and these will be issues for me too.

I had a furniture business before real estate and my brother was/ is a French polisher, he worked for me ( well he turned up sometimes, did whatever he felt like, played with my dog etc and left again. He was unemployed and had been for many years ). One day i got the whole spiel about i had everything and he nothing. I replied that i had worked hard for what i had achieved and our parents hadn't given me a wad of cash that he had missed out on. I still proudly discuss my achievements, what I do and what I have. I see no reason I should hide anything, how they react is up to them. Hopefully though they will learn ( and now I think they have) to respect me and my efforts, to be proud also and not to deny me the right to also be proud of myself. I've never gotten the whole "hide my success" theory. Shout it from the rooftops I say

Kev

www.nundahrealestate.com.au

 

[qaz]

It's something which is learnt- and you need a motivation to learn.

I met an old colleague last week. He introduced my to his teenage grandson- "Here's the financial genius I told you about". By the standards of many around us, most of us here are financial geniuses.

And was he?.......

 

[quiggles]

I still proudly discuss my achievements, what I do and what I have. I see no reason I should hide anything, how they react is up to them. Hopefully though they will learn ( and now I think they have) to respect me and my efforts, to be proud also and not to deny me the right to also be proud of myself. I've never gotten the whole "hide my success" theory. Shout it from the rooftops I say

It very much depends. I agree you shouldn't be ashamed of success, but equally, if you value family, you need to be careful about how you present it. My brothers are both very successful in their fields and they wouldn't give a toss. My parents, on the other hand, view our property investing as risky and so I'm usually a little cautious with information there.

If your success is going alienate people, play it softly, rather than be seen as rubbing their noses in it, unless that is your intention. Of course if a family member with the same advantages and disadvantages rounds on you for being 'lucky' or 'favoured', little is to be gained by avoiding the truth.

 

[geoffw]

Geoff - How do you think it will effect the other staff if the bosses daughter makes errors but its ok because she's family. How will you deal with them if they treat customers the same or make money handling errors? It's a hard call, do you give your own flesh and blood an obvious kickstart in life and some direction or take a hard nosed business approach?

That's a tough call- I don't know. It's difficult talking to normal staff about problems. (I told one staff member yesterday that she had an attitude problem- she argued with me that she didn't, and then slammed the door behind herself).

It's difficult to even get a fair assessment of her from the other staff- any opinions I get should be taken with a grain of salt.

As with any staff, if they've done something wrong, I discuss it privately. If I praise them, I do it in front of other people.

 

[likewow]

As with any staff, if they've done something wrong, I discuss it privately. If I praise them, I do it in front of other people.

Thats a great policy Geoff.

Getting good staff and dealing with employees is the hardest part of being in business in my opinion. You can only get better at it with practice and experience but judging by the above statement youre off to a flying start.

 

[geoffw]

And was he?.......

No, he wasn't a financial genius- he has just retired, after having been in the public service for some years, but not enough to be doing really well. He also has effective custody of his grandchildren, which puts an added burden.

He's seen me go from near financial disaster to where I am now, and has put up with it all. I've appreciated his friendship during that time- though it's a pity he didn't wish to follow in a similar path.

 

[David E-Noosa]

I've employed my 15yo daughter at Subway. To bew honest, I would not have employed her from an interview- too quiet and withdrawn. Initially she didn't even have the confidence to serve customers. But she's blossomed, and is doing very well now.
Money handling skills are another matter though

Geoff, back a few years in our previous office we employed our eldest daughter right out of school (yr 12) she was good to have around and I often wished she was more outgoing like myself and more on the ball like my wife who is always one step ahead of everything. She worked for us for 4 years until we sold that office and came to this office as sales manager 2yrs ago (just bought it 1st Feb) she went to work in a solicitors office doing legal secretary stuff and settlements. It was the best thing to happen to her. We now have her back with us and she is the admin manager based on ability not of right. Having family around me is the best thing posible, I would never had purchased this office without the support of my wife and daughter.

They must have the position because they deserve it, not because they are family.