2 yo manipulation - does it exist?

[Cupcakes]

This explains a bit about why toddlers are picky http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/feeding-infants-toddlers/feeding-picky-eater-17-tips

I think this part is pretty interesting:
"A child's demeanor often parallels her eating patterns. Parents often notice that a toddler's behavior deteriorates toward the end of the morning or mid-afternoon. Notice the connection? Behavior is at its worst the longer they go without food. Grazing minimizes blood-sugar swings and lessens the resulting undesirable behavior."

I'm sure there must be plenty of websites, books and cook books on this topic!

 

[pennyk]

I'm sure there must be plenty of websites, books and cook books on this topic!

Ahh, but as one wise old Somersoftian used to say "In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not".

One other thing I did think of that we tried in terms of veges was starting a vege garden. They were quite interested in eating food straight out of the garden. We were not able to manage the time involved in keeping up with it though.

Pen

 

[lizzie]

All I can beg is .... persevere at aged 2.

I was the soft parent and gave in to easily. If they didn't want dinner I would make them weetbix or a sandwich etc later ... and now (aged 8) I am paying dearly for it.

We are now at mexican standoff situations, with junior attempting guilt trips (you don't love me, why are you so mean?, why don't I just die?) etc.

Please please please deal with this while your child is young enough not to remember - and set up good habits for life.

 

[beachgurl]

I was going to ask if they go to daycare. My little one is two and on days she goes to daycare, she has fruit and crackers for dinner. She's reallynnot interested in a bigmeal for dinner as she has a hot lunch there and dessert, not to mention morning and afternoon tea as well.

I was being a tight rse a few weeks ago and bought the diced frozen veggies and little one loves them. Before she would not touch her veggies but now is the first thing she eats. I assume these are what they serve at daycare.

We always sit at the table together for dinner and if she's been at daycare we may just put a few things on her plate that she might pick at. Big hits in this house are sausages and crumbed or BBQ chicken. Everything else we get her to have a taste but if doesn't eat it, not a big deal. We are trying to play down the whole "eat your dinner" issue. I remember going to my auntys house and she and her hubby would make life a nightmare at dinner time for their kids. As adults, those girls still have big issues with food and eating with others.

 

[Cupcakes]

I think experienced parents are a good source of information. But at the same time there are doctors, psychologists, scientists and dietitians who dedicate their lives to researching this subject. I just think reading some of their work would be helpful. Many parents raise children who will suffer from obesity or an eating disorder so I think it’s an important subject for parents to educate themselves on and not just rely on the advice of others.

Here is some more info http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Toddlers_and_fussy_eating?open

Ahh, but as one wise old Somersoftian used to say "In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not".

 

[random]

You bet she's capable . I started a thread here a while back about a 10 yr old sort of mate of my daughters, playing games lately. I got called the kid of course bla bla,no surprises, but also some good advice.
Meantime this kids escalated into the "exact" nightmare I saw coming and tried to talk about. She's stirring up all sorts of sh't. Teachers had to get involved, parents, other parents, nother story.

2's are literally people, as soon as they're born I reckon, couldn't believe what ours did at 2, even a mth. Some just have fun trying out the old boundaries, others are genuinely nasty little pasties I reckon and need some mixed tough lovin.
We never send ours to bed on an empty stomach, wouldn't sleep anyway and that keeps you up all night then. They need something, one way or another- edit - we reckon you can only try to be firm, but creative and negotiable . Sometimes the best we can settle for was a big glass of milk,at least it's good food & better than going hungry. But the lessons seem to mold in along the way, nothing to get too fussed or heavy about in the end we've found.

My mates daughter's been a vegetarian since she was 3 , will not eat meat. She's 16 now , still a veg'.

Cheers

 

[BayView]

Hi all,

It's been a while; good reading all the success updates too

Bit of advice please from mothers, fathers, guardians:

Is a 2yo capable of manipulation? I think yes, although in very basic forms ie tantrums etc to get own way.

What techniques have people used successfully to get their 2yo to eat proper meals?

Is it horrible of me to send her to bed without a meal at that age if she won't eat what's served at dinner? Will she understand the 'lesson' & eat next time?

I believe in boundaries, rules & discipline to make a child feel safe to start exploring the world & also to know what's expected of them in life.

Please help as I'm doing my head in & would really appreciate any tips/advice!

Thanks

We have a 20 month old at the moment, and a 9 year old. Both boys.

With the 2 year old stage, sending them to bed without food is not going to work at all, and is not fair on the child, and you'll feel awful on top of it..

But, we never let the tantruming child win; we don't give in to what they want which is causing the tantrum, but distract them with something else, such as going outside to look at the birds, or the moon, or a cat etc.

We are dealing with a small child who hasn't learn emotional control yet, so it requires patience (which can be very hard).

My sister is a classic with this; she has 4 adult kids of her own, and grandkids now, and I've watched her in action with her brood for 30 odd years. When the kids would start "arking up", she simply takes the attitude of "ooo; cracking a wobbly are we?" and ignores them for the most part until they calmed down.

More serious breaches were met with "If you don'y stop XYZ behaviour now; I'll give you a smack" And she made sure she backed up the threat - most important.

We follow this same rule very consistently. Of course, you never want to smack your kids - and we very rarely ever have to. My 9 year old son got his last smack when he was about 4. Nowadays, if he misbehaves (which is rare at the moment) he is threatened with loss of priviledges such as no XBox etc. It works.

Too many parents I've observed do this; promise a dire consequence to their child for not behaving, then do nothing at all. The kid quickly learns that the parents are pathetic, and will rule the house within months.

I read somewhere that it can take up to 12 attempts to get a child to try a new food and like it. I reckon it's about right.

We keep trying our 20 month old with foods from time to time that he previously pushed away (literally pushed away ), and sometimes he will eat it, and away you go.

Our solution is to put a variety of different things on the plates and add the stuff he hasn't tried or doesn't like to the plate.

Getting upset when they don't eat the food you've selected also makes their eating experience an unpleasant one, so they are more likely to not want to participate in it.

So at this age I would be trying to ignore the mess they make, keep up the variety and relax, make it fun and keep trying.

Sometimes this is not easy; especially at the end of the hard day, you just wanna get it over with, clean up and put the feet up, and the child is firing on 12 cylinders..

It's great fun, isn't it?

 

[lizzie]

Good news tonight - after the mother/daughter meltdown (mexican standoff) of the other night ... the minute pieces of salad (celery, cucumber, lettuce) were eaten without a peep and acknowledged by mother.

Sometimes mother's just have to give in to the frustruation.

 

[mary&mat]

Thanks for sharing everyone!

Makes me realise it's hard for everyone.

Served up dinner of steak, potatoes, brussel sprouts & cabbage last night. She's taken to leaving her meal, coming over to mine & using my fork & trying to eat off my plate. I figure this is fine if she's wanting to eat the vegies.

Don't wanna set her up with food issues, but I admit I do say 'yukky!' when we see KFC or McD's ads or chocolate ads on telly!

Every parent should get a bloomin medal for going through this minefield with no army behind them & no rule book

 

[RumpledElf]

Haha mine won't salad. But her definition of salad is LETTUCE, and I can understand why she doesn't like it. So when we make salads, they have other stuff in them, so we give her the other stuff instead. Woe betide I miss a bit of lettuce, she'll give it to me with "I don't liiiiiiiiiiiiiike salad".

And the other day I went outside to pick some silverbeet. She takes one look at it and excitedly goes "a salad! I wuv salad!" *headdesk*

On the weekend we had a punnet of strawberries and she insisted I make strawberry salad. Took her to the supermarket and she insisted I buy lettuce and cucumber to go in the strawberry salad.

I bought a kiwifruit and half a pineapple instead to have with the strawberry salad