Evening Classes for Men

[emcdonald]

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN

ALL ARE WELCOME
OPEN TO MEN ONLY


Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:


DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK
OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while shouting
"It's not there!”, You’ve moved it!” or “We’ve run out!” – Open forum



DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role-play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available

 

[bawley]

Laughing so hard my other half even looked up from the Friday night footy

 

[RichardC]

Geezzzz! Glad I ain't a SNAG. My lady EXPECTS me to fart and belch.

Reminds her she married a "bloke". What else would a foxy lady look for?

 

[skater]

Love it! BUT you forgot a couple:

TOOLS! THEY REALLY DON'T BELONG IN THE LOUNGE ROOM
Indepth 4 hour discussion trying to find an appropriate area for storage.

EMPTY BEER/SOFT DRINK CANS, ICECREAM WRAPPERS, YOGHURT CONTAINERS ETC;
How to attach a homing device to the offending garbage bin so that above items will find their way.

 

[Les]

WHAT???? No round table discussion on levitation of toilet seats??? Must be a rip-off !!!!

Regards,

 

[Jamie]

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN

ALL ARE WELCOME
OPEN TO MEN ONLY

And while we're on differences between the sexes...

The new Drive through EFTPOS !!

Please note that with the arrival of the new "Drive-thru" cash
point machines in Australia, customers will be able to withdraw
cash without leaving their vehicles.

To enable users to use this new facility the following
procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that
applies to your own circumstances (i.e. MALE or FEMALE) and
remember them for when you use the machine for the first time.

MALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to the cash machine.

2 Wind down your car window.

3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN

4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5 Remove card and receipt

6 Drive off


FEMALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to cash machine

2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to
machine

3 Re-start the stalled engine

4 wind down the window

5 Find handbag, remove all contents on the passenger seat to
locate card

6 Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror

7 Attempt to insert card into machine

8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
excessive distance from the car

9 Insert card

10 Re-insert card the right way up

11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page

12 Enter PIN

13 Press cancel and enter correct PIN

14 Enter amount of cash required

15 Re-check make up in rear view mirror

16 Retrieve cash and receipt

17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside

18 Place receipt in back of cheque book

19 Check eyelashes in mirror

20 Drive forwards 2 metres

21 Reverse back to cash machine

22 Retrieve card

23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into
the slot provided

24 Restart stalled engine and pull off

25 Drive for 3 to 4 kilometres

26 Release hand brake

Jamie

 

[Peter Parker]

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

What - no mention of toothpaste caps or adjusting one's collar?!

Payment considerations have been (deliberately?) omitted. Am I right to assume the fees come out of housekeeping? After all it's only fair that the main beneficiary of the course has to pay for it.

Peter

 

[Sultan of Swing]

Thanks emcdonald & Jamie

We had a good laugh at both...

Cheers

 

[emcdonald]

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to cash machine

2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to
machine

So very true... have you been watching me drive?!

e x

 

[kissfan]

All very amusing.

& truthful in parts