Financial risks in new relationships. I wont go out with this man would you?

[motivated 5555]

I received an email from a guy and we are around 45-60 yrs old


- he was made redundant, hasnt had a job for several months and hasnt been looking for one

-instead of finding a job he is working on various new business ideas as his source of income.


that would bother me enough but i then was told of a history of financial strife in 2 past marriages,
credit card debt despite huge family financial support
failed past financial venture and losses


All this may be legitimate, but at this stage of my life, which is around 45- 50 years,

with the facts that most new businesses fail,

I want someone who is low financial risk, with some history of financial stability and successes.

I want someone who has at least a basic average wage


and if they are interested in creating a new business, perhaps i'd prefer if initially that might be a hobby alongside a day job,

that when and if it succeeds replaces an income,

or purchase of a new established business.

I've been burnt before many years ago and subsequently had another long term relationship with a very trustworthy guy.

We all have our feelings and i personally am not prepared for much risk at this stage of life. I wouldnt touch this.

 

[BayView]

These sorts of stories are plentiful in the Anne Rule books - ex homicide detective crime writer. Read a few.

You answered your own question here....

The fact that you are even asking it here tells me you have grave reservations already.

Move on, and keep any assets and funds away from anyone.

 

[VYBerlinaV8]

I wouldn't go out with him, but that's because I am also a man.

 

[Aaron Sice]

Sounds like a dreamer and ideologist. The kind of person to insist paying for a packet of gum with a $100 note and arguing for 20 mins with the store clerk because she "has to" accept his legal tender.....

 

[NedKelly]

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was
16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a
passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything
was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened
suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was
totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so
dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her.
She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did
mad impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me
miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very
energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some
ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced
me and took everything I owned.

Now I'm 40 and am looking for a girl with really big tits.

 

[lizzie]

why are you posting this?

RUN

 

[Belbo]

And don't look back!

 

[Bigtone]

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was
16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a
passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything
was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened
suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was
totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so
dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her.
She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did
mad impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me
miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very
energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some
ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced
me and took everything I owned.

Now I'm 40 and am looking for a girl with really big tits.

gold ned gold!

 

[motivated 5555]

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was
16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a
passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything
was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened
suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was
totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so
dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her.
She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did
mad impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me
miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very
energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some
ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced
me and took everything I owned.

Now I'm 40 and am looking for a girl with really big tits.

Yes i loved that one too!!! Very funny.

 

[Bon]

Women. Gold diggers!

 

[motivated 5555]

actually i was the victim of a male who was a gold digger so learnt my lesson to choose carefully.

I just said i want someone with at least a basic average wage.

But yes the other post is funny.

 

[Cupcakes]

As you have experience with a 'gold digger' before you should trust your instincts! I think when you're dating you should keep details of your income and assets private, always split the bill 50:50 and never give out loans, money or expensive gifts! If you follow those rules I don't think it would be possible to get hurt financially?

 

[motivated 5555]

thanks for the good advice

some guys are successful, generous, trusthworthy themselves so they are worth expensive gifts and sharing assetts and being totally open with, but this one wasnt one of them!

 

[Telejazzer]

I find it hard to find somebody to connect with business wise. I had a friend I wanted to work with but he had a nervous breakdown during the GFC and hasn't recovered yet.

I meet a lot of dreamers and most are gamblers (though they think of themselves as risk takers). They have grand plans with nothing to support it and they get angry with me when I ask the hard questions. They normally answer 'it's gonna be alright' or 'I already planned for it' or 'I know somebody that can do it', etc. Unfortunately, we have to go through a lot of them before we find the 'right' one. It's similar with deals, I find a lot of them doesn't work and a lot of people are flogging them.

I find that the more I know, I find a lot more questions than answers. You open one door thinking you are getting close only to find out that there is another door and there's still so much work before you get there but I wouldn't do it any other way because I actually love what I'm doing now.

@ned

That's classic!

 

[RumpledElf]

Nothing wrong with hoping a business will take off - as long as you can still pay your bills!

I quit a perfectly good day job a few years ago to chase a dream with someone with no income. Hasn't paid off yet, but not exactly starving in the meantime, so all is good.

 

[Propertunity]

why are you posting this?....RUN

^ ^ what lizzie said & also belbo.

The guy is a dreamer. You will be spending all your cash on his schemes for the rest of his life.

 

[weg]

Is this a hypothetical question, or have you met another man and dumped the employed, interstate guy .

Why are you even considering a future with someone you don't appear to know well . Worse than their employment status is they could be a psycho/skilled con man.

Of course you're going to be unsure. Only by getting to know men well after 'courting' them for some time are you going to get to know them well enough to even think of moving in and sharing your finances.

To do otherwise is just asking for problems.

 

[Belbo]

Nothing wrong with hoping a business will take off - as long as you can still pay your bills!

I quit a perfectly good day job a few years ago to chase a dream with someone with no income. Hasn't paid off yet, but not exactly starving in the meantime, so all is good.

But your partner is a very good soul RumpledElf, right? That's the big difference between your choice and the OP's. Money is definitely irrelevant in matters of the heart . . . if both hearts are good!

I was a penniless grad student when my wife married me . . . . Now my money is her money and her money is her money.

 

[buzzlightyear]

A random (?) email from some guy who disclosed all his financial history? My sentiments are with Lizzie's.

 

[BV]

We all have our feelings and i personally am not prepared for much risk at this stage of life.

Then don't do it