Help needed to get Parnet Interested in IP's

[BayView]

With getting partners on the same page, I found with my wife in the early days I was talking to deaf ears as her interest was not the same.

It took a few years before she caught up, and now we are level.

I had to keep justifying the cashflows against our wages and how the whole thing would affect our lifestyle.

My task was easier, because other than the first one, the rest have been very good from a cashflow aspect - they had to be because we were not big income earners, and we weren't able to trim our consumer spending much from what it already was. For the high income earners the task is simple; pull your head (wallet) in and stop buying cr@p and there is instant available funds to throw at investments. I don't know which camp you are in on this issue.

One thing that needs to be spelt out to the partner is how the cashflow of the property investing will be impact the lifestyle.

If you are trying to sell her/him a sales pitch for another IP purchase with a neg cashflow result when there is a new car needed, you haven't got much hope, and rightly so.

But, as was mentioned; changing to IO loans is a start.

 

[weg]

She queried affording a new used car that you 'need' now that there a 5 of you so could it be that your cash flow has been eaten up with the recent purchase and her concern is simply that.

She could see you as over zealous at a time where all her focus is on the needs of your young family. Perhaps a better balance of these too would have her more keen and happy to keep on investing.

My husband is very supportive of our PI but if I left funds that short or with no cash buffer for emergencies he would probably make comments too.

 

[HandyAndy888]

OK, No excuse realy, but I was tired when I did this.
Please except my most humble apologies.

I'll forgive you this time...next time I'm going to make you stay back and fix it at lunchtime.

 

[HandyAndy888]

PS. I hope people understand I deliberately posted shocking grammar and a spelling mistake in my initial reply...

 

[skater]

I would say, stop putting pressure on her. This is your journey! You want it, she doesn't! Just stop trying so hard.

When we started, like some of the other posters, I was the one who got the ball rolling while Hubby just signed on the dotted line like I asked. He did this purely because he loved & trusted me, not because he thought I was doing the right thing.

Over the years I never pressured him, but did speak about my love of Real Estate. I would leave books out that he would never read and still hasn't with a lot of them, and he just supported me. When he asked questions, I would answer honestly, but leave it at that.

We even bought several houses where I flew interstate and took a heap of notes and photo's, then when I got home, he would select the houses from the information I brought back. We bought many properties that he never saw. We still hold some of them today.

It wasn't until we had quite a few properties that he really started to ask more questions and become interested. He then registered on the forum and I soon realised that I had created a monster. For a short time he was unstoppable and proved that he had a higher tollerance to risk than I.

These days, he is just as involved as I am, but this did take a lot of time to come around. He had to actually see with his own eyes that it was working.

So, hold off, wait until your portfolio doubles in value. Let her see what you are achieving. Don't push her, just wait for the questions and be patient.

 

[Nathan]

We all come to a point where we can belt ourselves up however sounds like your on the right path already.

Partners are not always on same wavelength as ourselves, however one must try and make it entertaining for them to be part.

With the car or any other materialistic purchases, there no point being rich and not enjoying the ride. Its whatever works for you.

I have new cars and i just bought a $250 ute. I use to care about getting looks in my vehicles however as i realised on saturday night I dont pay that much attention to 80k vehicles on the rd anyways. + also I enjoy driving a old bomb around at present its kind of carefree. The point I am making is for your partner is that I can make fun of the $250 car as much as the new cars. Just depends how you look @ it. My G/F wont even step in my car and I always fight the similar battle.

Goodluck.

 

[wylie]

I reckon with five month old twins, you are lucky that she has time to blink .

I think if the car is important to her for safety reasons and for more room for three kids, do that part sooner rather than later. She will see that your savvy investing has allowed you both to be able to buy the new(ish) car.

I also think you are doing really well and she may never really come around to thinking the same way, but as long as you are not butting heads, then just quietly keep on keeping on.

Initially, hubby hated taking rent from people, but I love the fact that he knows that should he really want to give work the flick, he can do so, and all because I "forced" him to take rent from people 25 years ago .

 

[craigb]

no disrespect to partners, but the way i delt with it was , if you don't like it , you know where the door is you go in and out of it every day! and yes it is that important to me. so now we are in lots of debt, hah!

 

[HandyAndy888]

no disrespect to partners, but the way i delt with it was , if you don't like it , you know where the door is you go in and out of it every day! and yes it is that important to me. so now we are in lots of debt, hah!

You know, as funny as this is, it's sometimes reality. Some partners do not have the guts to do it and they need pushing. Initially, I liked using the equity build in our PPOR as an example of what could be done. Interestingly for me, it's a numbers game. My missus is happy with purchases now, as long as I can show her the cf numbers. Try that..ACTUALLY SHOW your partner the numbers...

 

[josko]

Remember me? I'm the kid they chucked out of school.

I think they did me a favour, and I think you can't spell inappropriate

Most means multiple and mistake is singular.

He he , good on you Battler, I just read that myself and was looking forward to correcting him. You took my fun away!

Back to the topic:

I think most of us have the same problem or should I say "issue".

My in-laws ended up with a Reverse Mortgage and no cashflow because they believed in the old strategy of paying off your house with little thought for funding their retirement.

It got to a point where they literally owed us $1000's. They were forced to sell their home and now rent, using their left over money to fund their lifestyle. (They are pretty happy too!)

However, it was a prime example for my husband to see why I did not want to tread the same path. What I do is for the good of the whole family, but my main aim is to retire comfortably....pension or no pension.

Regards JO

 

[zee]

It's been years since I started to try and get hubby into property. I had to 'nagged him' to get him to buy our PPOR years ago. After a few years of pushing him to 'go out' there and check houses, I gave up. He was content to have the PPOR, but I am not. I said to myself, if I want it done, then I have to do it myself. He says he also wants to invest but he doesn't have the time. Which I just could not comprehend and creates pressure between us.

But this year, I just could not afford not to do anything and wait for him to get the ball rolling. We just got our first IP and is now rented out, and this was done through majority of my effort. I went to inspect houses, arrange B&P inspections, find the broker etc, all he did was sign the dotted line. It was very frustrating and and challenging and there were lots of days that I think I would just go insane. We have 3 kids under 10yrs and I would drag them all to go and meet REAs and deal with the endless "is this gonna be the last house?" question. I was also doing my Masters and working at the same time while looking for IP and learning more about investing. He would never initiate going to OFIs. I have emailed him links of posts in this forum, subscribed to API and Smart Investor Magazines but he does not put the time to read them. He was just 'too' busy.

These days, I can see some interest in him. He tells me he is also keen to buy more properties, but I have to do the 'work' as he is too 'busy'. He said he will sign the paperwork and make sure there is enough income to support us. I really don't like it this way. I wish it was the other way around, where he is the one looking for deals, trying to understand other methods/vehicles of investing, and I will be the one on the side to support him. But I don't see it happening (yet), and he has told me, if I want to get into properties then I have to do it myself and not expect him to. I am still hoping, that one day he will be as passionate as I am into properties.

As Nathan said "Partners are not always on same wavelength as ourselves, however one must try and make it entertaining for them to be part." I guess, we just have to keep trying.

-zee

 

[allmine]

Thank you to everyone, great advice there. There seems to be a re-occurring theme with Partners involvement, or lack there off.
Good news is:
We have never argued about money, well, once maybe on Holidays, but who hasn’t?
We have not argued at all about IP investing, nor have there been any words.
She does understand the reasons for my doing this.
She can see the growth the 1st one has made, about 275% in value thus far.
I’m still learning and gaining confidence needed, she sees that also, and lets me be when I am on the net instead of being parked on the couch next to her (yes I’d rather that).

And now the better news is:
My in-box this morning has had 3 links for possible renovator buys, which she found. One was a good one to, even had rates and possible rental earnings info as well.
So when I get home in 2 weeks (from the UK where I work) we’ll be off to have a look at these potential buys she found, just for the purpose of her seeing the next step.
I’ll be waiting with the children out the front.

Perhaps I am unleashing something here too???

Zee.
Chin up; I admire what you have done so far.

As for the car, easy, found some good ones to look at too, I’m a mechanic. Change over with fees should be 10k tops, somewhat shy of a Flash Ford F250 Ute I imaging Nathan driving.

Finaly..

Wonce I couldnt spell Machanik, now I are won!