i am sure you will find most here love their parents dearly - but we would not hand them the lollies if they were diabetic or give then money for the pokies. no matter how much they pleaded or stressed.
and we don't expect our parents to do the same for us - that is why we invest in our future. alexlee is telling you how it is. unfortunately i think you're to emotionally close to this and you need to bring in some professional help - most charities have free financial counsellors who can give the advice with no vested interest.
as for me - went thru a rough divorce and lost almost everything. i had enough scrapped together for a deposit on a small and delapidated miners cottage. sure mum could've given me some money - but it probably would've been spent buying new clothes - instead she flew over and took me to the hardware store. we bought a ladder and brushes and paint and rollers and grout and plaster and sandpaper and an orbital sander etc. we then spent several days plastering and painting ... she helped me to fish and i would do the same for her.
as much as you love your parents, their actions got them into this situation. if they don't see the results of their mistakes then they won't learn from then, and next time a bill comes, that they can't pay, they'll just hide under the mattress until it grows to big to handle. is this what you want of them?
and yes, it's sad your brother died 12 years ago - my father died around the same time in a plane crash. life goes on. 30 years of marriage, six months of mourning and mum has never let his death be an excuse, a reason for not achieving or let it stand in her way.
as to your mother being a good budgeter ... well ... $20/wk shaved off the expenses from the start and paid to the council would've cut the outstanding bill by $1000/yr. the inability to do this doesn't indicate good budgeting.
sorry that the truth is harsh - but hiding from the truth helps no one. and when you have to make some serious financial decisions - you need to step back and remove the emotion, for everyone's sake.
perhaps it is with age and wisdom, and bringing up my own children to be contributing members of society (as i was), that i can say this with conviction ...
p.s. alexlee is not an emotionless bugger - he just calls a spade a spade.
and we don't expect our parents to do the same for us - that is why we invest in our future. alexlee is telling you how it is. unfortunately i think you're to emotionally close to this and you need to bring in some professional help - most charities have free financial counsellors who can give the advice with no vested interest.
as for me - went thru a rough divorce and lost almost everything. i had enough scrapped together for a deposit on a small and delapidated miners cottage. sure mum could've given me some money - but it probably would've been spent buying new clothes - instead she flew over and took me to the hardware store. we bought a ladder and brushes and paint and rollers and grout and plaster and sandpaper and an orbital sander etc. we then spent several days plastering and painting ... she helped me to fish and i would do the same for her.
as much as you love your parents, their actions got them into this situation. if they don't see the results of their mistakes then they won't learn from then, and next time a bill comes, that they can't pay, they'll just hide under the mattress until it grows to big to handle. is this what you want of them?
and yes, it's sad your brother died 12 years ago - my father died around the same time in a plane crash. life goes on. 30 years of marriage, six months of mourning and mum has never let his death be an excuse, a reason for not achieving or let it stand in her way.
as to your mother being a good budgeter ... well ... $20/wk shaved off the expenses from the start and paid to the council would've cut the outstanding bill by $1000/yr. the inability to do this doesn't indicate good budgeting.
sorry that the truth is harsh - but hiding from the truth helps no one. and when you have to make some serious financial decisions - you need to step back and remove the emotion, for everyone's sake.
perhaps it is with age and wisdom, and bringing up my own children to be contributing members of society (as i was), that i can say this with conviction ...
p.s. alexlee is not an emotionless bugger - he just calls a spade a spade.
