I hate this “Delayed Gratification” idea!

[Harris]

Got to love the judgemental tones in the above posts -

"an wanted child knowing before its born" - I wonder what the mother would feel if she read that statement about her miscarriage ...!

"it just gets really annoying ", beacuse someone has become materialistic

"pathetic really"... since someone is perceived as being competing with jones's

"gotta laugh" - (insert a sarcastic simle face)

What we ignore is how all of us are different... for some building a property empire but living like scrooges is great and would hate if someone then labelled them as "pathetic scrooges", tight a***, miselry, etc.

Its like folks at GHPC forum looking from outside in to the prop investors at this forum and calling us the scum and greedy investors unashamed of what they would percieve us to to be doing in driving the property prices up.. and the list goes on.

Its not always the case that one buys expensive cars and doodads to impress others... sometimes we do it for ourselves .. .setting goals and rewarding ourselves and then setting the bar higher and rewarding more with each goal attained.. The whole world of consumerism that we are the ultimate beneficiaries of works that way. Economies proposer with consumerism.

The WA investors might not have had the massive growth they have attained and crowe about without the Chinese consumer wanting to buy and US consumer getting their hands on cheaper doodads produced from China - thus enabling Chinese gov to spend massively on new infrastructure and Aus supplying millions of tons of resources to China and India to fuel that spending.

Those "lowly" and "pathetic" people buying bmw's and plasmas all over the world are driving the boom that would have busted a long time ago and Aus would ve been truly in recession had it not been for us benefiting from those 2 economies directly.

I would consider people "pathetic" when they are ill-informed, have no knowledge of the outside world, are ambivalent of the suffering of the needy and poor overseas in the remotest corners, have a single minded goal of hoarding wealth without spending, bigots and xenophobes and their ilk.

Passing judgements is quite easy (at times juvenile), whilst living in our own glass houses and being totally oblivious of the wants and motivations of others

Harris

 

[alexlee]

Not to mention First Class is so very VERY nice............

 

[wylie]

"pathetic really"... since someone is perceived as being competing with jones's

"gotta laugh" - (insert a sarcastic simle face)

What we ignore is how all of us are different... for some building a property empire but living like scrooges is great and would hate if someone then labelled them as "pathetic scrooges", tight a***, miselry, etc.

Have to say that my comments "pathetic really" and "gotta laugh" probably sound like I am judgmental. I suppose the problem with just putting something like that on a forum doesn't explain the problems we had with these people over all sorts of things, driving me to want to sell up and get away from them.

Luckily we have been able to untangle our family from theirs (like many other families have done from the area) but there is an aftertaste, so I am biased against their "type", best of everything, best schools, cars washed, washing done, cleaning done, lawn mowed, dog washed, you get the drift (and the stay at home wife complaining that her life is soooo busy ).

I don't generally judge people for what they buy or drive, and to be perfectly honest, the constant use of "bet they have a plasma" is interesting, because plasmas are hardly considered expensive nowdays compared to, say, ten years ago. I couldn't give a rats what others do, but these people ARE pathetic, and caused us a lot of stress. They wouldn't have anyone to their house who had more wealth than them. And it WAS funny to watch, moreso because we had been on the receiving end of a lot crap from them.

The kids would tell my kids that "our pool is bigger, our pool is longer, our pool is deeper, our house is bigger, our view is better" all straight from the parents mouths as the kids were quite young, too young to not be repeating this stuff. I shudder to think what these kids will be like as teenagers .

So, I do judge this family but try not to be judgemental generally. I actually use them when my kids get uppity and say to them "you sound like one of the xxxx's".

To be honest, I couldn't really care what other people think of me. This particular family just made it very personal and did cause us (me particularly as I was the main contact and had to listen to the drivel - whilst not being gutsy enough to say "enough") a lot angst over a couple of years.

So, sorry to sound judgmental, because I am not really so in general.

 

[VYBerlinaV8]

I have an interesting take on this. About 5 years ago when many of my friends were off having overseas advertures, my wife and I were hard at work building career. As such our incomes improved to such a state where we were able to set ourselves up with a nice PPOR (which we built, just before the last boom), new (average price) furniture and 2 new cars. Everyone thought we were being a bit crazy, but in reality we could afford it no problem. Then, because we pretty much had everything we needed, we started investing hard, and started a family! Now some of our friends are able to buy new cars (although surprisingly few), and yet they seem more jealous of us because we don't have anything to prove.

Personally I don't really care, because I've never really run with the crowd in that respect, and come from humble beginnings. To me, a Holden Berlina IS a luxury car, and a Holden Astra is a 'European import'.

Gratification, and the balance needed to effectively achieve it, is highly based on what your desires are. For me, I have never in my life cared about clothing labels. And I don't own any. And I don't care. But hey, if that's what floats your boat, then great. We have managed to get the things we want by prioritising our resources, and by being cheap where it doesn't matter to us. This has resulted in plenty of spare $$ for investing, which we see as the key to early retirement.

But you have to be careful - being gratified only by material things is a sure path to unhappiness.

 

[sue78]

Well, considering we have been trying for years to get pg and then you have people that get pg easily but are negative about it. She then went for one of those injections where you can't get pg for 2 yrs after the miscarriage. We're quite close so I was honest with her anyway....she knows now next time to be prepared and really embarace the miracle of pg and birth.

They did live with us for 2 mths this year in between houses and we all get along well but yeah we noticed that they are getting to be very materialistic.

Another thing I find really weird is that they aske dme for invesment advice, or ask about our finances and how we invest and our numbers which Iam very open and honest about...but then they try to hide their investments from us. I found out through other friends that they just bought their 2nd IP...we had met up recently and talked about investments but they said nothing....why do people do that? geez...I'm happy for them.

Personally I prefer new cars...whether it's BMW or Holden, it has been to be new or a late model. I've had a car breakdown once and it was very scary. I just think new cars are more reliable...lol

 

[Nicko]

expects[/B] a tomato to grow overnight, or faster than it's normal length of time. Even a baby takes 9 months to grow.

So for me, delayed gratification is tending to the tomato plant, watching it grow, getting excited about each new green shoot and the little green buds that will one day be mouth-watering tomatoes. It's about enjoying the process and the journey, as well as the fruit.

FACT" You EAT tomatoes. Don't rent them out.

 

[Nicko]

A generation has passed since Jan Somers first book.

People tell me that they want to spend more through their investing/wealth building careers than she did.

I admire them.

 

[VYBerlinaV8]

Might as well set the bar high - even if you don't get over it you'll still do better than accepting mediocrity.

 

[Francesca C]

I will do anything and work as hard as I have to to become financially free.

Every time I go to do something, i ask, is this getting me closer to my higher cause and if not I dont do/buy it

I have no problem thinking like this, I am 29 and if I were told I would sit in my office chair for the rest of my life and work, get stuck in traffic and sit around negative people all day, retire old and broke...... now that, makes me sick.

How precious is our time, day in day out... what do we spend our time doing! the only way to enjoy a complete life is to have money.

Besides, I really enjoy all this investing stuff, look how much we learn and all the inspiring people we meet along the way.

 

[Rainshadow]

My husband heard an interesting research article being discussed on the radio last week ... psychologists took a group of four year olds, one at a time into a room. In the room was a plate with a marshamllow on it. They say to the four year old "you can have this marshmallow if you like. It is for you. I am going out of the room for a few minutes, and if you wnat to you can eat it. but, if you dont eat it, if it is still there when I come back, I'll give you another one. then you will have two marshmallows and you can eat both of them. you will get both of them." They go out, come back a few minutes later ... and guess what, about half the kids eat the marshmallow, about half wait for the second one. Then they tracked the children as they grew, through school and careers. The kids that waited did better at school and by thirty were earning more money etc etc ... they kids that ate the marshmallow and didn't wait were doing badly.
How fascinating is that!

 

[BayView]

Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Good friends of ours have turned that way..they have become extremely materialistic. Husband also said to his wife that if she has a baby he wants her to go back to work straight away...he doesn't want a wife that stay at home and loses herself...he loves to see her classy and in corporate wear all the time and he wants her to keep slim.

On a slightly different theme to this; we have 2 friends who are doctors - the husband is a surgeon and the wife is an anethsetist. We are talking big incomes combined.

So, they have the kid, then the wife goes back to work full time pretty much immediately, so the baby is in full time child care from about 3 months old.

Why have a child if you are going to do that? The wife could easily give up work (or work part time when it suits her) and they would still have an income well over $200k just from the husband.

Sue; regarding the last sentence; I would say that most men would have this view. Maybe not necessarily looking classy and "corporate", but certainly they would prefer their wife staying in shape and looking good.

That may sound sexist or whatever, but it's how it is. Of course; this should be a reciprocal deal; the husbands should try to stay in shape for the wives as well.

But back to your friend; I don't understand why he thinks she needs to go back to work to still look good; maybe it's a money thing for him as well?

 

[pieman]

On a slightly different theme to this; we have 2 friends who are doctors - the husband is a surgeon and the wife is an anethsetist. We are talking big incomes combined.

So, they have the kid, then the wife goes back to work full time pretty much immediately, so the baby is in full time child care from about 3 months old.

Why have a child if you are going to do that? The wife could easily give up work (or work part time when it suits her) and they would still have an income well over $200k just from the husband.

Sue; regarding the last sentence; I would say that most men would have this view. Maybe not necessarily looking classy and "corporate", but certainly they would prefer their wife staying in shape and looking good.

That may sound sexist or whatever, but it's how it is. Of course; this should be a reciprocal deal; the husbands should try to stay in shape for the wives as well.

But back to your friend; I don't understand why he thinks she needs to go back to work to still look good; maybe it's a money thing for him as well?

Most women that have had careers before they have the first child find looking after kids boring as bat sh$t, so after 9 months they cant wait to get back to work. I love my kids to death but the thought of negotiatiing with a 3 yrd old 12 hrs a day is a little brain numbing.
I guess when woman didnt have a choice they had to stay home and look after the kids but now most need something more.
pieman

 

[VYBerlinaV8]

Most women that have had careers before they have the first child find looking after kids boring as bat sh$t, so after 9 months they cant wait to get back to work. I love my kids to death but the thought of negotiatiing with a 3 yrd old 12 hrs a day is a little brain numbing.
I guess when woman didnt have a choice they had to stay home and look after the kids but now most need something more.
pieman

That sums it up pretty well. My wife arranged 12 months off work, and after 9 months went back part time because she was missing the mental stimulation. She now works 3 days a week in the office, and 2 from home, so the boy gets 3 days of childcare, followed by a couple of days with mum, then the weekend as a family. Works really well for us.

 

[BayView]

Most women that have had careers before they have the first child find looking after kids boring as bat sh$t, so after 9 months they cant wait to get back to work. I love my kids to death but the thought of negotiatiing with a 3 yrd old 12 hrs a day is a little brain numbing.
I guess when woman didnt have a choice they had to stay home and look after the kids but now most need something more.
pieman

I know what you mean about needing to work and all that; but this is a couple who have gone back to doing 50-60 hours each, and are pulling in over $500k.

Why have a kid? Totally selfish in my book. It'll be just another rich kid that's "bought off" with stuff at the expense of parental time and parental care.

She, and/or he, could survive quite easily on 25-30 hours a week each, and still spend time with the kid without going mental.

 

[BayView]

That sums it up pretty well. My wife arranged 12 months off work, and after 9 months went back part time because she was missing the mental stimulation. She now works 3 days a week in the office, and 2 from home, so the boy gets 3 days of childcare, followed by a couple of days with mum, then the weekend as a family. Works really well for us.

Good arrangement. That's what I'm talking about. And I'll bet you guys aren't pulling in over $500k a year between you either.

So if you can do it, then the Doc's should be able to do it too.

But nooooo.

 

[casper007]

There is always the old Aussie saying ... "Bite of much as much as you can chew ... and chew like buggery"

Your here for a good time (however you interpret that) not a long time...

Secret is to be happy ... and enjoy

 

[VYBerlinaV8]

Good arrangement. That's what I'm talking about. And I'll bet you guys aren't pulling in over $500k a year between you either.

So if you can do it, then the Doc's should be able to do it too.

But nooooo.

... we only make about $300k a year between us

 

[ethereal]

I think I am lacking the 'work ethic' gene. My babies are now 4 and 2. I stopped fulltime work after the 1st one, and last year stopped the part time work too. Now I work in a normal sense, 4 hours per week. Just 2 years ago our combined taxable income was under $30k, and we still managed to buy house number 3 at that time. We have a very undestanding bank guy. He had a laugh when I asked if they counted Family tax benefit as income..

I can't imagine working full time again now I have stopped. No more delayed gratification for me! I am not at all bored, there is plenty to do if I feel like it! And homebrand food is really not all that bad.

Louise

 

[bernly]

I can't imagine working full time again now I have stopped. No more delayed gratification for me! I am not at all bored, there is plenty to do if I feel like it!

I stopped working when I fell pregnant with my first child and have not had paid employment now for 23 years. The hardest job I've ever had was being a stay-at-home mum and I admit that there were times when I really resented it. Where we live and my husband's job meant that I really had no choice but to be at home (boarding schools didn't accept newborns!). There have been just as many times when I've been grateful that we were able to manage on a single salary and that I didn't have to work. Now I appreciate how priviledged I've been and I don't regret anything. I've never been bored, I have a great relationship with my kids and I love being my own boss. I've been a volunteer since playgroup days in lots of different organisations and have got back far more than I've ever given. Good for you, Louise. So many of my friends feel that they are only worthwhile if they have paid employment. All work is honourable, even if it's only done for love.

Cheers

 

[wylie]

I am with you bernley, with a very similar story, but I did work for two years when my oldest (now 19) was 9 months old. My mother minded him for the (supposedly) few months before I fell pregnant again. I ended up working for two years and would not have gone back if my mother had not stepped up for the job.

Since then I have not worked and I also really enjoy my life. I rarely get bored. I love school holidays because there is no morning rush or washing frenzy to get uniforms ready, but I also love school terms when I have the house to myself. I suppose I have become quite selfish in that way. I would resent having to go out to work. There is plenty to do at home, though I do as little as I can get away with

Of course, if I worked, we would be further along our investing path, but there is more to life than money, so it is an easy choice for us. Because we live a fairly simple like, having more money would not change our lives much, it would just mean we leave more to the boys.

I also agree that being home with three young children is so much harder than any paid job I ever had, but my middle boy keeps telling me (about being a stay at home mum) that "if it was a real job, you would get paid for it" just before I clip him over the ear.

Probably the one thing we have delayed doing is travelling more, but it is not really something I "miss". It is the one thing we will probably do more of in the next couple of years. Not sure if we will do it with the boys or wait until we can do it on our own. We took them to the US two years ago and had a good time, except when they argued with each other, just like in Australia. It did rather spoil things at times, and I don't know if I want to spend $20K taking them on a big holiday and have them spoil the holiday because they cannot speak civilly to each other.