I have to share this with someone

[bespoke]

Well my parents are right at the oldest of the BB's and my mother iherited 1/3 of her parents house - 80K. She decided to pass on 20k each to her 3 children and keep 20k for herself as she said she dosn't need it.

I am not hanging out for my parents wealth. My mother was 18, 22, 25 when we were born, me being the middle child (my dad is only 1 year older than mum). My maternal grandmother passed away at 91 and my paternal grandfather is well into his 90's and still at home, I will be into my 70's if my parents last as long as their parents.

If I have to rely on my parents wealth to see me through retirement, I will consider my life a financial failure.

My daughter will probably get my share of whatever my parents leave. She will probably only be 30ish then so will be a good help for her.(I was a very late starter at parenthood).

My husbands parents have next to nothing so we will get 1/2 of nothing there.

 

[Perp]

Im a 'look after my own'. My family is the most important thing in the world-so I would rather set up my family and their family with an appreciating, cash flow positive property than waste it all on a Winabago and a boat..

You're assuming that giving them a cashflow positive property is a gift.

If you believe you should stand on your own two feet, why would you want to deprive your kids of the same opportunity?

 

[dunno]

You're assuming that giving them a cashflow positive property is a gift.

If you believe you should stand on your own two feet, why would you want to deprive your kids of the same opportunity?

Wow a few Gordon Gecko's in here..really didnt expect this argument

I understand the nature of your comment, though how many of the ultra rich have spent all their money and left nothing for their children to build on, all in the name of promoting them to 'stand on their own feet'? You can teach them as many lessons as you like whilst avoiding leaving them nothing.

I, with my family (immediate and extended) share a long term view. Sure, teach your children the value of hard work, and the value of money. But at the same time we leverage my, my parents and our collective families strength and prosperity to better our own, and future families prosperity.

Didnt see Packer, Rothschild and countless other wealthy families leaving nothing for their kids, but they are doing o.k....


I think many of these comments are coming from a middle class perspective. You need to change you way of thinking if you really want to become 'rich'....many of todays 'rich' have done so by way of having a helping hand from their decendants. How this proven method can be argued is beyone me, and I can only put it down to a live for today, bugger tomorrow mentality...

 

[Pushka]

And that's what the rest of Australia is saying. If people knew the state of the nursing home industry in Australia, they would be protesting in the streets.

And then there is that bond you have to pay - the bond can take all your cash and assets and only leave you with $29,000! I plan to never need to go into a nursing home and have a strategy in place - let's call it an exit strategy.

 

[wylie]

I think many of these comments are coming from a middle class perspective. You need to change you way of thinking if you really want to become 'rich'....many of todays 'rich' have done so by way of having a helping hand from their decendants. How this proven method can be argued is beyone me, and I can only put it down to a live for today, bugger tomorrow mentality...

Nothing wrong with being middle class. I don't need to be "rich", but we certainly don't have a "live for today, bugger tomorrow mentality" either.

It isn't black and white.

 

[Witzl]

My plan is to have enough to pass onto the family.
However, I also intend to "teach" my future kids the financial smarts you dont learn in school.... a-la "the rich dad" lessons Kiyosaki talks about in his book.

Give them a hand to get started on their financial wealth building, and once they've got a foot in building their own little nest egg, give them more of a hand so that they can comfortably set up to have kids.... and then i'd like to do the same again for the grandkids, and have it just continue on like that thru the generations.

I think the trick is teaching the kids about wealth creation, whilst helping them out, without giving them a sense of "parents will just pay for it, they're rich".
On my fiancee's side of the family, her great aunt and uncle are quite wealthy, having been quite successful developers/builders for a number of years.... however their kids unfortunately didnt learn the values of wealth creation, and are sitting and waiting for the inheritance (and even asked for it in advance!!!!!). They dont even work!

I think there is a risk that if you provide for them TOO much, they wont learn the value of wealth creation.

 

[steveadl]

^ ^ Very wise post Witzl.

 

[VYBerlinaV8]

Kids' inheritances are always a touchy subject, and most people have thier own ideas about how it should be done.

My thoughts are that when kids are still kids (ie under 20), they need parents who will teach and guide them, but most importantly create opportunities for them to succeed. The surest way to crush your kids success is to swamp it with your own. I remember cleaning a butchery twice a week as a sixteen year old, saving for my first car. When I got it I felt on top of the world. If parents had bought it, and treated it like it was easy for them, it would have really devalued all that hard work.

Parenting is a lot about role modeling. If your kids see you working hard and making sensible decisions, and then enjoying success and the benefits that come with it, they will learn from that. I think involving them is really important.

Finally, I think it's important that kids understand that an inheritance is what is left after after parents pass on. There is no onus on the parents to leave behind anything, although if you're sensible, you will almost certainly leave assets. My hope for my son is that he learns to make his own way in the world, and understands the importance of decision making. The fact that he will likely inherit millions is incidental.

 

[Player]

Lead by example

Kudos Witzl.

The best legacy we can leave our kids (over and above an estate of bricks/mortar/businesses, etc) is the knowledge to manage assets in succession.

They will usually "do as we do" and "not do as we say", so walking our talk is important IMHO. Bring up fools and aside from possibly squandering the lot in a short time frame, they may do harm with a lethal consumption lifestyle, drugs and so forth.

Of course there are no guarantees into how they'll turn out however, in the unforseen event of an early departure for parents, being well set up by way of testamentary trusts and the like can afford some control from the grave.

 

[dunno]

Parenting is a lot about role modeling. If your kids see you working hard and making sensible decisions, and then enjoying success and the benefits that come with it, they will learn from that. I think involving them is really important.

Very true, having pride in oneself and dignity/self respect-the desire to be all they can be....

People have criticised me for being to 'black and white', well by the same token there are thousands of rich people who have come from rich backgrounds who have grown on their inherited wealth and surpassed their parents. Kettle black perhaps?

Finally, I think it's important that kids understand that an inheritance is what is left after after parents pass on. There is no onus on the parents to leave behind anything, although if you're sensible, you will almost certainly leave assets. My hope for my son is that he learns to make his own way in the world, and understands the importance of decision making. The fact that he will likely inherit millions is incidental.

Well this is where I suppose I dissagree with many. If the parents have inherited a position of strength I think they have a responsibilty to pass that on. Besdies, why wouldnt you want to? If I can leave my kids in a position of strength and power thats what Im going to do.

I think some people are trying to excuse 'teaching a lesson' as a defence for pure greed....Read rich dad poor dad again-even though mostly fictional, the 'rich dad' passed on his wealth, but also ensured lessons were taught...

 

[Pushka]

Well this is where I suppose I dissagree with many. If the parents have inherited a position of strength I think they have a responsibilty to pass that on. the 'rich dad' passed on his wealth, but also ensured lessons were taught...

I plan to leave my kids in a 'position of strength' but it has nothing to do with leaving them any money.

 

[allmine]

I feel like driving around to find these people and give them a high-five. Their predicament suggests that they will be tenants for life. I would honestly love to have them as a tenant.

I would like to clarify something here if I may.
The very next line I say much the same as your suggesting here.

The slap them around was my gut re-action, then the newly skilled investor in me took control and thought that this was a good thing these guys have done. A happy investor to be found some where as they payed for the landscaping out of thier own pocket. HOW GOOD IS THAT?

I do beleive that these people will have trouble with the rent payments in the future.
Especialy if Mum or Dad has employment troubles.

 

[VYBerlinaV8]

Well this is where I suppose I dissagree with many. If the parents have inherited a position of strength I think they have a responsibilty to pass that on. Besdies, why wouldnt you want to? If I can leave my kids in a position of strength and power thats what Im going to do.

Fair enough. I suspect, though, that our opinions may not be that far apart. For me, I haven't ever received an inheritance, so I don't really know what it's like. That said, I don't plan to die poor, and I expect my son will have the intelligence and discipline to take what he inherits from my wife and I, and use it for good purposes.

My overall investment 'mission' is to a build a portfolio that I can comfortably live off and do what I want, without eroding the underlying assets. If I achieve this, there'll be an inheritance!

 

[The Y-man]

Well this is where I suppose I dissagree with many. If the parents have inherited a position of strength I think they have a responsibilty to pass that on. Besdies, why wouldnt you want to? If I can leave my kids in a position of strength and power thats what Im going to do.

Understandable - but make sure you read (or watch) King Lear

Cheers,

The Y-man

 

[jingo]

If I can leave my kids in a position of strength and power thats what Im going to do....

I think every parent would want to leave their child in a position of strength. I know I do. Positions of strength can be many:

1) Financial Strength
2) Strength of Character
3) Strength of Integrity
5) Strength of Wisdom
6) Strength of Knowledge
7) Intellectual Strength.

Numbers 2-7 in my view are the most important assets a parent can develop in their child. A child with these characteristics will most probably have developed the necessary skills to shape their own journey within this world.

 

[Perp]

I think some people are trying to excuse 'teaching a lesson' as a defence for pure greed....

I guess it depends which "side" you more strongly align yourself with, but I don't think anybody's motivated by greed that's posted here. I know that my parents have substantial wealth that I could potentially inherit in 20-30 years or so (they're in their 60s but I have three grandparents in their 90s ).

On the other hand, I don't yet have a substantial asset base, and my own demise is - I hope! - more like 50 years off, so whilst I have things in place like wills and trust, it's not yet really on my planning horizon.

Therefore, if I were being selfish, I'd be far more inclined to take your position, that my parents "owe" me an inheritance. I think that by taking the position that I do, I allow my parents to enjoy their wealth without any guilt.

Even when it does come to thinking of myself as the parent in this situation, my natural inclination is to want to make life easy for my kids. I consciously try to suppress this instinct, because whilst my heart wants to give them everything, my brain tells me that it's not ultimately a gift to them.

I know you're convinced that some wealthy families have generational wealth, but there are a significant number of wealthy families that either don't pass on wealth (most famously Warren Buffett), or insist that family only get rewarded through participating in the family business (quite a lot of them). Families that have members who just live off the wealth without contributing tend not to last too many generations, and I can't think of too many "trust fund babies" who've achieved happy and successful lives - though I'm sure the spectacular failures (drugs etc) are more well-publicised. Other families, like the Myers, tend to be full-time philanthropists, which I think would be a wonderful aspiration for my children, because I hope to achieve that status myself some day.

I agree with all of these:

Give them a hand to get started on their financial wealth building, and once they've got a foot in building their own little nest egg, give them more of a hand so that they can comfortably set up to have kids... ... I think there is a risk that if you provide for them TOO much, they wont learn the value of wealth creation.

The surest way to crush your kids success is to swamp it with your own. I remember cleaning a butchery twice a week as a sixteen year old, saving for my first car. When I got it I felt on top of the world. If parents had bought it, and treated it like it was easy for them, it would have really devalued all that hard work. ... I think it's important that kids understand that an inheritance is what is left after after parents pass on. There is no onus on the parents to leave behind anything, although if you're sensible, you will almost certainly leave assets.

I plan to leave my kids in a 'position of strength' but it has nothing to do with leaving them any money.

 

[Pushka]

I think every parent would want to leave their child in a position of strength. I know I do. Positions of strength can be many:

1) Financial Strength
2) Strength of Character
3) Strength of Integrity
5) Strength of Wisdom
6) Strength of Knowledge
7) Intellectual Strength.

Numbers 2-7 in my view are the most important assets a parent can develop in their child. A child with these characteristics will most probably have developed the necessary skills to shape their own journey within this world.

And if you leave them with 2-7 they won't need 1.

 

[dunno]

I know you're convinced that some wealthy families have generational wealth, but there are a significant number of wealthy families that either don't pass on wealth (most famously Warren Buffett), or insist that family only get rewarded through participating in the family business (quite a lot of them).

I dont understand your point-for every Warren Buffet I could give you ten who have generational wealth...? BTW good ole Warren didnt exactly come from a 'disadvantaged' background, a family of congressmen if I remember correctly...Also, where have I mentioned anything about just leaving the kids a big pile of cash? This whole discussion started by a poster saying they intended to make sure they only left enough money to be burried.

Therefore, if I were being selfish, I'd be far more inclined to take your position, that my parents "owe" me an inheritance. I think that by taking the position that I do, I allow my parents to enjoy their wealth without any guilt.

Look I think we are tackling this from two different sides. I to dont feel my parents 'owe' me anything, but at the same time I believe my family is the most important thing in the world. We have a strong family core-my parents looked after me, I'll look after them, I look after my family and they will look after me.

Its the group, not the single.

I guess the reason we are all on this forum is to get financially independant, to be able to live life to the full without worrying about 'money'. I enjoy life, but will be damed if I go out to make sure I die with every cent spent just in case the kids get some....that is greed and self centred.

 

[Perp]

I enjoy life, but will be damed if I go out to make sure I die with every cent spent just in case the kids get some....that is greed and self centred.

If you really think that's literally what Sue meant.

I'm quite sure that Sue was simply saying, in a mischievous way, that her children were well-established and on good incomes, and therefore that she doesn't feel any obligation to leave a nest-egg for the kids. (Please forgive me for assuming I know what you intended, Sue.) I don't think she'd have an obligation even if the kids weren't doing so well, but given that that they are doing well, how could one possibly argue that she should continue sacrificing in order to leave them a larger inheritance?

If you think for a moment that she meant that she'd go out and "blow" cash on things she didn't really want or need simply for the sake of not leaving the kids anything, then you're clearly reading way too much into it.

 

[moyjos]

If you really think that's literally what Sue meant.

I'm quite sure that Sue was simply saying, in a mischievous way, that her children were well-established and on good incomes, and therefore that she doesn't feel any obligation to leave a nest-egg for the kids. (Please forgive me for assuming I know what you intended, Sue.) I don't think she'd have an obligation even if the kids weren't doing so well, but given that that they are doing well, how could one possibly argue that she should continue sacrificing in order to leave them a larger inheritance?

If you think for a moment that she meant that she'd go out and "blow" cash on things she didn't really want or need simply for the sake of not leaving the kids anything, then you're clearly reading way too much into it.

Oh Gosh..ooops I really should NOT post after a (more than) few reds
LOL ....yes Ozperp is correct is her assumptions
My kids are well placed to have a good financial life, and I certainly do not need to be leaving them a nest egg. (any nest egg I may leave will be "beer money")
No I have not received any inheritance...and will not my parents are "grey nomads" (on the road at least4-6 months) .....they do own a house in Bundaberg and have a decent annuity pension that dad has sent up well so they get full pension as well.

Their wealth has not been property based ...rather business based. ( might be why I have problems working for a boss full-time)

When we have bought IP's Dad has bagged us BIG TIME bahh family.... but probably explains why we have bought/reno'd/sold It is "Business"....ROI profit+cashfow. Dad does NOT believe in -cf.

Anyway back to "blowing all our cash"... I really only have a vague plan.....It is a while off until we are 60+...Mum and Dad are only just 70 now...so I will be watching and learning closely for the next 10-20 years.
Mum and Dad don't actually tell me what they are doing so I have to keep asking Mum LOTS of questions....Often helped by a weekend at their place and a bottle of sherry!!!

BIG apologies to Allmine for apparently hijacking this thread.
Hopefully it might all work out for his friends. ??