Improving attitude towards money

fokas

fokas

I'm pretty sure suggestions are spattererd through the forums, but figured I'd start a thread anyway.

A good friend of mine in his late 20s has shared with me their intense dislike of money, and his inability to change this attitude, until spending/saving habits have changed.
However, I'm of the opinion for a person to get a headstart into changing their live-per-paycheck lifestyle/habits, they need to change their attitude to money.

He doesn't like discussing money and hates our materialisitic, consumerism type of society, but he's seeked advice from me on budgeting and getting rid of an accumilated bad debt of $17k debt, so I can see a glimmer of 'hope' (for lake of a better word) of him feeling in control of his situation and managing it, as apposed to sticking his head in the sand and coasting along, getting hassled by debt collectors.

Suggestions on how to assist with someone changing their negative attitude towards money? What tools can I suggest to them to do their own learning?

I know I can't do anything for him, or get him to change his views...although I can feel him reaching out and I don't know which books or ideas to share to assist him... He has the opinion that motivational speakers are posers, but he is a prolific reader so there must be texts which can be useful...
 
I had an ex with this 'hatred' of money you speak of...he liked to think of himself as a bit of a socialist/communist/equality for all blah blah blah person.

I used to try to tell him, money is neither 'good' or 'bad', it's the people who control it & the uses they put it to that creates a 'good' or 'bad' outcome.

Took him years to grow up & realise it's better to 'work' within the system for your own good rather than try to rip it apart.

At the time I had this mantra tacked up on one of my doors for inspiration:

"I am abundant in every good way. Infinite money is mine to earn, save, invest, multiply & share. My abundance is making everyone better off. I embrace abundance & abundance embraces me."

He used to make fun of me saying I wanted to be rich & selfish. His dad actually pointed out it says 'share' in there too :)

For myself & a few other I know of on this forum, my ultimate goals are to have enough to buy my freedom from work & give my family choices we couldn't access otherwise etc, but also to be able to pursue more works helping others get a leg up on society eg charities, scholarships, basically donating money to areas I feel it's needed & appreciated.

Perhaps you could suggest that long term goal to your friend too?
 
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How has someone that hates materialism and consumerism managed to get 17k worth of bad debt? :eek:

Could the solution be something as simple as "Put $100 every week to pay off your debts" or however much he can afford.

If he's truly against materialism / consumerism than I imagine he'd be able to save far more than that (if he works).
 
I find that real live examples are the best form of advice.

My very close friend is similar to your friend in a sense; do not believe in ideas such as 'multiple streams of income', 'passive income', 'cashflow', etc. Just wants to enjoy life, has a family and has agreed with his wife that the entire family would live off his entire income and she would save hers whenever possible.

When the topic of money is brought up, he will poo-poo this, or say others were 'lucky', and asked me if either of us know of any rich folks around, having millions in equity or cash lying around to invest.

I realise now that the saying 'when the student is ready, a master will appear' is very true. Your friend only seeks your advice for things he deem important. Trying to push the agenda might end up straining your relationship. I have certainly gone down that path one or twice with my friend and have decided against further action.

Until the day I can proof to him with figures of my financial wealth, there is almost no point of trying to change someone who is not ready. Then again, when it comes to that day, would I really want to show anyone (other than my wife) my true financial wealth?
 
I'm not a huge fan of Kyosaki, but some of his work is great for the beginner in getting them to believe that they can achieve more than the average person.

Whle Hubby has always supported me in my purchases, in the early days he was not exactly involved, would not read the forum, and just signed papers when I asked him to. From memory, reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad was the beginning of Hubby starting to really believe that not only could he become better off than the average man in the street, that he could go one further and have an early retirement.
 
Television said:
How has someone that hates materialism and consumerism managed to get 17k worth of bad debt? :eek:
Click to expand...

+1

"Richest Man in Babylon" by George Samuel Clason is a good starter book for those trying to wrap their head around the idea of living below ones means and investing/saving for the future.
 
Only hates money 'cause he has none and is hopeless at making, managing and keeping it...tell him to go be a Monk or Priest or buckle up and get with it...
 
Hey your friend sounds very Ozzie!! Good on him... not being materialistic and all and more interested in saving the world from global warming.. Not sure why you'd try to change him. If only we could all be like that this world might be a better place.
 
Deltaberry said:
Not sure why you'd try to change him.
Click to expand...
Trying to change a person is futile. This is not my intent. I feel a bit useless as a friend when I'm asked to provide insight into how I manage my money when it does not apply to people who think differently to me.

Television said:
How has someone that hates materialism and consumerism managed to get 17k worth of bad debt? :eek:
Click to expand...
No idea...with a lack of understanding of how to budget? He actually doesn't buy a lot of 'things' so I don't know where his money goes.

Thorpey said:
Only hates money 'cause he has none and is hopeless at making, managing and keeping it...tell him to go be a Monk or Priest or buckle up and get with it...
Click to expand...
Surely there is a book that you could think of that I could toss to him as I pat him on the back and tell him to harden up? ;)

Andrew_A said:
I can suggest an Australian product as a gift, a very easy read and an excellent resource.

Wealth Sabotage - Dale Gatherum-Goss
Click to expand...

Thanks for that.
 
i'd ask him why he "hate's" money. what was said by/happened to family/mentors as he grew up that caused his to be hardwired this way.

i did a course, one session of which was identifying your feelings towards money, and what in your past caused these feelings (what was said, not said by your parents etc) that influenced your own thoughts.

only once you have acknowledged why you think a certain way, can you reprogramme your brain to think differently

i don't know if you'd be able to get him to do this small task ... but is worthwhile for all of us to identify "how and why"

otherwise - rich dad/poor dad is a great read for a beginner. the poor dad sounds very like your friend and died a broke and broken man. the rich dad's concept of money is refreshing and not about "money" at all - rather the freedom and ability to help others.

p.s. the real quote from the bible is "the lust (or is it greed) of money is the root of all evil." not money itself but the lust/greed.
 
When I was growing up there were 3 questions we were not permitted to ask..anyone.
How much did the house cost
How much did the car cost
How much do you make at work
 
fokas said:
He doesn't like discussing money and hates our materialisitic, consumerism type of society, but he's seeked advice from me on budgeting and getting rid of an accumilated bad debt of $17k debt
Click to expand...

Did he become this way after blowing the $17k?
 
sbs - tuesday night - 7.30 ... doco exploring the emotional relationship we have with money that affects our financial decisions.
 
For me, money is freedom.

You hear about rich people, born poor, and still being very thrifty, because they never want to be that poor again.
Then you also hear of others who spend it as fast, or faster than they can earn it.
 
fokas said:
but he's seeked advice from me on budgeting and getting rid of an accumilated bad debt of $17k debt, so I can see a glimmer of 'hope' (for lake of a better word) of him feeling in control of his situation and managing it, as apposed to sticking his head in the sand and coasting along, getting hassled by debt collectors.
Click to expand...

Fokas
Some people have learning difficulties and don't know how to actually physically & mentally put a budget together.

Sit down with him and find out all his debts etc and write out budget for him. does your friend do his banking online, does he get paid in cash?

He is seeking your help a book may be of no use to him as he may not be able to read enough to comprend the message.


Good Luck
Sheryn
 
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