Moving from Being a Tight A*&e
- Thread starter matto_
- Start date
Hey xactly
I think it's actually called 'maturity' - the plank and brick bookshelves, the kombi van, the 'best you can afford but you can't afford much' thrill wears off after about 30 years and suddenly, one day, you wake up and book the Arcadia from Sydney to Southampton. A stateroom with a private balcony, not down in the hold pulling on the oars. Hey, Mike and I are going to sail through the Panama Canal on Easter Sunday next year. How's that for an Easter present?
Haven't figured out how we will get back from UK yet - the Orient Express sounds like a plan. Or a few kangaroo hops along the way with a few days here and there as we go.
When do we move on from being a tightwad? I don't think I was ever a tightwad, I always bought the best I could afford at the time (even if that was just the best bricks and the best planks). I have only ever bought new cars, but I have only bought 4 cars. My current motor vehicle I bought new in 1993. The best I could afford and they have all lasted well.
To me, a true tightwad is mean with money and mean spirited. I hope I have never been mean spirited but we have always had investment debt and that has driven us to value every dollar
The Arcadia will be just wonderful and an investment in health and well being. When we get back we shall make up for it by scaling back to the Roast of the Day on Tuesdays at the local RSL!
It's not about being a tightwad: It's all about relative values.
Cheers
Kristine
hey there yourself Kristine!
you were kind enough to reply to my first ever post!!! Not that I post much.
Just read...
There are more people on here with more experience and advice..
ahhh yes... Maturity...
was startled to realise its been 12 yrs since Uni and maturity is definately something i had to grow!
Maturity/life experience also helps with identifying value i think. I have bought reams of stuff because it was cheap and had it fall apart so essentially bought it twice... or sometimes three times. The problem of the perennial tightwad. Buying cheap for cheapness sake.
Terry Pratchett put it well.
"Sargent Vimes economic theory of Boots"
Sargent Vimes is a down at heel policeman who wears cardboard soled shoes. He married Sybil Ramkin the richest woman in AnkMorpork. he mused that his cheap boots (one pair a year) cost him 10x more over the decade than Sybils Dad the duke who bough one expensive pair of hobnailers and handed it down to his decendants because they would last forever.
Vimesy paid more....and always had wet feet!!
Hilarious writer. The world is losing a classic comic talent as he slowly succumbs to Alzhiemers. Cried when he announced it.
Anyway. that what i think about when i am tempted to scrimp....
Will i have wet feet when i buy this??? should i just suck it up and not be tempted by false economy!
Ps yr holiday sounds awesome! Enjoy!!
you were kind enough to reply to my first ever post!!! Not that I post much.
Just read...
There are more people on here with more experience and advice..
ahhh yes... Maturity...
was startled to realise its been 12 yrs since Uni and maturity is definately something i had to grow!
Maturity/life experience also helps with identifying value i think. I have bought reams of stuff because it was cheap and had it fall apart so essentially bought it twice... or sometimes three times. The problem of the perennial tightwad. Buying cheap for cheapness sake.
Terry Pratchett put it well.
"Sargent Vimes economic theory of Boots"
Sargent Vimes is a down at heel policeman who wears cardboard soled shoes. He married Sybil Ramkin the richest woman in AnkMorpork. he mused that his cheap boots (one pair a year) cost him 10x more over the decade than Sybils Dad the duke who bough one expensive pair of hobnailers and handed it down to his decendants because they would last forever.
Vimesy paid more....and always had wet feet!!
Hilarious writer. The world is losing a classic comic talent as he slowly succumbs to Alzhiemers. Cried when he announced it.
Anyway. that what i think about when i am tempted to scrimp....
Will i have wet feet when i buy this??? should i just suck it up and not be tempted by false economy!
Ps yr holiday sounds awesome! Enjoy!!
xactly:
“There is nothing in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and he who considers price only is that man's lawful prey.” John Ruskin
I read this many years ago and resolved that I would avoid the buying cheap if I could possibly avoid it
Matto:
We started to ease up a bit when we realised that if the sky fell and we had to sell up everything, we would still have 1 x house fully paid for, and at least we would have given it a go.
But, we keep on working as the worst sin is living off capital. While we can live off income, we will, then we will cull the herd and live off rents.
At least, that is the plan. If we become enamoured of P&O we may scotch the idea of building the grand new house and simply stay on board for a while.
But we wouldn't be where we now are if we hadn't minded that old adage:
'Leave the pennies alone and the pounds will take care of themselves'
I will probably always keep the rubber bands off the post and the plastic shopping bags and recycle the newspapers. Hey, thrift is fun and I enjoy being thrifty. But don't mistake thrift and value for being a tight wad.
When you find something you actually want to buy, or do, you will spend the money. We have decided that we want to sail the Panama, actually, I also want some Bombay Gin in the stateroom fridge, too, and Mike will have to buy a tux for dinner .... and there's not much point in going to these places if we are not going to go ashore at the various ports of call .... tightwad? Bah, humbug! Don't put yourself down, I'll bet you have a decent standard of living and enjoy all that you are achieving.
Go placidly amidst the noise and haste - and keep a value on your own life and experiences.
At the end of the day, as Warren Buffet says, it's about love, not money.
Spending $1 on an unexpected icecream is just as delicious a treat as spending $100 on a formal steak dinner. Enjoy both and you can count yourself a very wealthy man.
Cheers
Kristine
“There is nothing in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and he who considers price only is that man's lawful prey.” John Ruskin
I read this many years ago and resolved that I would avoid the buying cheap if I could possibly avoid it
Matto:
We started to ease up a bit when we realised that if the sky fell and we had to sell up everything, we would still have 1 x house fully paid for, and at least we would have given it a go.
But, we keep on working as the worst sin is living off capital. While we can live off income, we will, then we will cull the herd and live off rents.
At least, that is the plan. If we become enamoured of P&O we may scotch the idea of building the grand new house and simply stay on board for a while.
But we wouldn't be where we now are if we hadn't minded that old adage:
'Leave the pennies alone and the pounds will take care of themselves'
I will probably always keep the rubber bands off the post and the plastic shopping bags and recycle the newspapers. Hey, thrift is fun and I enjoy being thrifty. But don't mistake thrift and value for being a tight wad.
When you find something you actually want to buy, or do, you will spend the money. We have decided that we want to sail the Panama, actually, I also want some Bombay Gin in the stateroom fridge, too, and Mike will have to buy a tux for dinner .... and there's not much point in going to these places if we are not going to go ashore at the various ports of call .... tightwad? Bah, humbug! Don't put yourself down, I'll bet you have a decent standard of living and enjoy all that you are achieving.
Go placidly amidst the noise and haste - and keep a value on your own life and experiences.
At the end of the day, as Warren Buffet says, it's about love, not money.
Spending $1 on an unexpected icecream is just as delicious a treat as spending $100 on a formal steak dinner. Enjoy both and you can count yourself a very wealthy man.
Cheers
Kristine
I've known a few big tightwads over the years but the ones that take the prize for having no shame are some friends of my parents who gave son #2 a used jump suit with yellow stains around the collar as a gift when he was born.
The thing looked like it had been through at least 50 hot washes.
It came nicely wrapped in recycled wrapping paper and no card.
Well, the jumpsuit got binned, and they earned a big black mark against their name.
My wedding present was no better I might add (flimsy silver coated tin serviette holder worth about $5
). It's not like they couldn't afford it or had a 'brain/disease' issue happening - I'd be very forgiving if that was the case.
They're now in their 80's living in a house filled with junk that they've picked up from the sidewalk and hoarded over the years - I couldn't even guess how many skip loads it would fill.
And yes they're wealthy, and their dysfunctional children who have little to do with them will blow it all in 5 minutes flat.
Two have a so, so relationship with each other but pretty much they have little to do with each other or their parents. All are broke (2 bankrupt - the other bailed out time after time - the one that lives in Adelaide).
I haven't worked this family out when I'm usually able to do so, but I'd guess the tightwad was part of a whole personality thing that wasn't compatible with good relationship building.
Not saying all tightwads here are like this at all, but not kept in check, or it goes on for too long, I believe it makes for a miserable non giving life.
And no I'm NOT talking about you K.
The thing looked like it had been through at least 50 hot washes.
It came nicely wrapped in recycled wrapping paper and no card.
Well, the jumpsuit got binned, and they earned a big black mark against their name.
My wedding present was no better I might add (flimsy silver coated tin serviette holder worth about $5
). It's not like they couldn't afford it or had a 'brain/disease' issue happening - I'd be very forgiving if that was the case.They're now in their 80's living in a house filled with junk that they've picked up from the sidewalk and hoarded over the years - I couldn't even guess how many skip loads it would fill.
And yes they're wealthy, and their dysfunctional children who have little to do with them will blow it all in 5 minutes flat.
Two have a so, so relationship with each other but pretty much they have little to do with each other or their parents. All are broke (2 bankrupt - the other bailed out time after time - the one that lives in Adelaide).
I haven't worked this family out when I'm usually able to do so, but I'd guess the tightwad was part of a whole personality thing that wasn't compatible with good relationship building.
Not saying all tightwads here are like this at all, but not kept in check, or it goes on for too long, I believe it makes for a miserable non giving life.
And no I'm NOT talking about you K.
Yes, my strategy has changed when someone said we will never be able to hold a $10 million portfolio with no debts being average earners. Imagine how much after tax $ we would need to pay it off.For a large number of years we have been living frugally with the hope that we can retire early, through a mixture of paying down debt along with investing sensibly.
Question to those who have made it:
How did you move away from living a frugal lifestyle to one of being able to comfortably spend money?
We go through an endless cycle of budgeting in order to reduce our debt as much as possible.
We have worked through setting goals, and as we achieve them - "rewarding" ourselves, however it is still a struggle to justify to ourselves that we can comfortably spend the money.
Has anyone else got any ideas
So basically it was communicated to me that I need to grow a very large portfolio, perhaps double that and not to pay off the debts.
Instead if bought well, the IPs would maintain themselves, I could live off equity, and the porfolio would keep growing over time.
Two quotes, "An investor should use OPM before their own", and "Debt is only risky if you can't get more debt".
But be aware the strategy illustrates the big picture and depends upon number of factors. So if you like it read the book, "How to achive Wealth for Life...through Property Investing" by Tony Melvin & Ed Chan.
I hope that helps a little to understand more....
As long as you do not spend more than you receive in passive income coming in do not hesitate to spend some.
Hubby also is great in that respect as he reckons portion of hard work should be enjoyed, that's what the wealth building journey is about, just a journey not a destination. So we all need to live along the way.
In the book 'You Were Born Rich' the author summarises it well when he says that we may learn well the art of earning money but have we ever learned how to live the "rich life"?
And:
"...always remember, money is a servant; you
are the master. Be very careful not to reverse that
equation, because many people of high intelligence
have already done so, to their great detriment.
Unfortunately, many of these poor souls loved
money and used people, which violated one of the
most basic laws governing true financial success.
You should always love people and use money,
rather than the reverse!"
Wise words, wouldn't you say?
For me it was clothing. However, now I walk into some clothing stores shopping with young people and I find I counldn't buy there anything since it wouldn't suit me at my age. Who would of thought that we may grow out of clothong of some stores, right?
It happened to me few years ago when I was buying clothes for my teenager and I smiled at all the young assistants working there. I said to them isn't it amasing that when I was young I would not come into the store as I could not afford anything and now that I can afford it I no longer suit the clothes.....
Has anyone thought of a different reason. Like that hiring a cleaner provides jobs and stimulates the economy.
I like my cleaners so I hire them for number of reasons. Mainly that I don't like cleaning and that I could support someone else having a job. Never ever have I compared it in terms of money (that I would be earning more with my time).
Hubby and I also like to support our local businesses, we purchase from local butchers, florist, restaurants (at least some), bakery, coffee shops, etc...
It's not to say we don't shop elsewhere but we like the surrounding businesses so we support them so they can continue to be in business.
I think the issue is with BELIEF. If you believe, like, support and can afford something then you won't mind what you spend on it.
So we all have different beliefs that's all.
Spot on!.
I like to re-read this book often so when my ego grows I can fall back to earth....
Great book, don't you think?
Pfft stuff being a tight ar5e just to be "rich" on paper one day when you're 70!
I used to be, but I couldn't handle going back there.
I spend liberally, but I earn well, I live well.
Happy to keep working and earning the big bucks while my lifestyle is pretty good.
When you are a tight ar5e you end up with cancer from buying cheap crap and your life turning to crap, nothing is reliable because all you buy is cheap rubbish that breaks all the time and you never just enjoy life.
I have too many expensive hobbies. Life is good!
From a former tight ar5e when I was young. But life is too short.
I used to be, but I couldn't handle going back there.
I spend liberally, but I earn well, I live well.
Happy to keep working and earning the big bucks while my lifestyle is pretty good.
When you are a tight ar5e you end up with cancer from buying cheap crap and your life turning to crap, nothing is reliable because all you buy is cheap rubbish that breaks all the time and you never just enjoy life.
I have too many expensive hobbies. Life is good!
From a former tight ar5e when I was young. But life is too short.
this, ladies and gentlemen, may be the post that finally breaks the internet
kudos!
next up in this special report of today/tonight from Kirigaoka, Japan, a shocking link found between childhood obesity and people who prefer their toilet paper "over" instead of "under" and in tomorrow night's special report why wearing sneakers daily might cause salinity problems in africa
Pfft stuff being a tight ar5e just to be "rich" on paper one day when you're 70!
And there speaks a young person who cannot imagine being old
Or old at 70
Or old, and poor, at 70
By the age of 70, only 1 in 5 Australians will have any super left
Being a grasshopper, and thinking that Summer will last for ever, usually brings misery once winter sets in
Being an ant, and just while going about your business you make some provision for the winter you know lies ahead, makes sense
No body said that ants don't have fun. Ants have a complex social structure and ants have balance - and warm winters
Have fun, grasshopper, working and spending liberally on your expensive hobbies, but don't scorn the ants who have fun and stay warm at the same time
Being frugal and thrifty does not mean that we tight fisted persons don't enjoy our lives - and perhaps we just don't buy the cheap rubbish to begin with! Perhaps we value ourselves enough to also value the money we earn and the things we spend our money on.
As an ant, I rather look forward to winter each year. It's good to be able to pay the heating bills without having to go without food to pay to be warm
And sanj - loved your post. Logic seems to have escaped recruit2 but then again perhaps he is just too busy having fun!
Cheers
Kristine
It's the falseness you have hit on there K.
Same here; don't tell me a falsehood; just tell the truth; "you don't like cleaning, so you pay someone to do it."
Having said that, there are actually a number of people who do pay others because there time is worth more, and/or they are time poor.
At one point in our married lives before kids, both my wife and I were working in excess of 60 hours per week respectively. The money was pouring in but we had very little free time away from work, so we paid a cleaner.
Then this changed and we were back to doing our own cleaning; still are.
I hate cleaning, so would gladly pay others to do it if the dollars were freed up to do it.
no undue disparagement intended, this disparagement is entirely earned by the large, embarrassing, flaw in the offered argument quoted above
here it is
What happens the day, you can't work,
where are the bucks, the lifestyle, the happiness
grasshopper its cold outside
If I can't work, & ladylove can't, we are stuck surviving on ¼M / year residual income, with staff doing all the work
plus 20K approx in tips & 'beer o'clock' in the roadhouse bar after work
sometimes 'ant of all trades' is a good thing
Wouldn't you just take the standard advice given to people who spend too much and turn it around to the direct opposite?
Eg:
1a. For the over-spender: Consider what items that you can do without, or can substitute a cheaper alternative for.
1b. For the under-spender: Consider what items would give you enjoyment if you had more of it or a better quality item. (eg eat at Nandos instead of McDonalds).
2a. For the over-spender: Make a budget with maximum spending limits on each item. Eg I will cut out all soft drink, takeaway coffee and fast food.
2b. For the under-spender: Make a budget that specifies minimum spending limits on each item. Stick to it. Eg This year I will donate a minimum of $1000 on charity, spend at least $1000 on theatre or concerts, spend at least 7 nights away from home, buy (and read) $500 worth of books etc.
3a. For the over-spending: Set a target of saving at least $X pw. Try to think creatively about saving money without cutting living standards too much.
3b. For the under-spender: Set a target of spending over $X pw. Try to think creatively about spending money in new categories that might not have seen your coin before.
and so on
Eg:
1a. For the over-spender: Consider what items that you can do without, or can substitute a cheaper alternative for.
1b. For the under-spender: Consider what items would give you enjoyment if you had more of it or a better quality item. (eg eat at Nandos instead of McDonalds).
2a. For the over-spender: Make a budget with maximum spending limits on each item. Eg I will cut out all soft drink, takeaway coffee and fast food.
2b. For the under-spender: Make a budget that specifies minimum spending limits on each item. Stick to it. Eg This year I will donate a minimum of $1000 on charity, spend at least $1000 on theatre or concerts, spend at least 7 nights away from home, buy (and read) $500 worth of books etc.
3a. For the over-spending: Set a target of saving at least $X pw. Try to think creatively about saving money without cutting living standards too much.
3b. For the under-spender: Set a target of spending over $X pw. Try to think creatively about spending money in new categories that might not have seen your coin before.
and so on
We are doing a reno of our PPOR and have to buy new lights for the whole house, indoors and out, to replace the beautiful 70's lighting we have currently.
I had been doing all the research, and realised that hubby probably didnt have any idea on how much it was going to cost. I had been looking at RRP, so knew that we were likely racking up a significant bill, and he is a bit of a tightar*e.
So, I bit the bullet and asked hubby if he had any idea how much it was all going to cost. My estimate was $7-10K.. its a big house! After he nearly fell off the chair, he was able to accept that we needed to it, and may as well do it now etc. So, when we went to the shop, they gave us good discounts and I had significantly overestimated the cost, which ended up being $3000. He was so pleased with the cost, that he decided to buy additional lights that we werent originally going to get, and a much more expensive, but beautiful light for the entrance way. So, the total cost was $4K.
Both hubby and I thought it was a good strategy for a tight ar*e.. overestimate the price and convince them about that, and then when they find out the price is so much lower, they'll be relaxed about spending extra.
I had been doing all the research, and realised that hubby probably didnt have any idea on how much it was going to cost. I had been looking at RRP, so knew that we were likely racking up a significant bill, and he is a bit of a tightar*e.
So, I bit the bullet and asked hubby if he had any idea how much it was all going to cost. My estimate was $7-10K.. its a big house! After he nearly fell off the chair, he was able to accept that we needed to it, and may as well do it now etc. So, when we went to the shop, they gave us good discounts and I had significantly overestimated the cost, which ended up being $3000. He was so pleased with the cost, that he decided to buy additional lights that we werent originally going to get, and a much more expensive, but beautiful light for the entrance way. So, the total cost was $4K.
Both hubby and I thought it was a good strategy for a tight ar*e.. overestimate the price and convince them about that, and then when they find out the price is so much lower, they'll be relaxed about spending extra.
