My cousin HATES her in laws. The in laws have an ip they want to lease to her + hubby + bub through a rea. She is stoked she can now only have them over as ll's every few months and not every week as gp's. How can you draw the line at the difference between the two? Has anyone experienced a similar situation? What was the outcome?
Parents in law as landlords
- Thread starter grantwhit
- Start date
What makes her think her in-laws will stop coming around ever week just because they are her landlords. They are still in-laws and I cannot imagine anything would change.
Actually, I reckon they would be more involved than before, and possibly telling her what she can and cannot do in the house. I wouldn't do it.
Actually, I reckon they would be more involved than before, and possibly telling her what she can and cannot do in the house. I wouldn't do it.
I can imagine it. The inlaws come every week, and make comments like 'you know, these carpets were spotless when you moved in', 'you can't put up that painting without our permission to put in picture hooks', 'don't you know you have to ventilate the bathroom? I don't want mould all over my house'.
Ah, the possibilities.
Ah, the possibilities.
"My cousin HATES her in laws"
There is a much larger issue at stake here: alienation. They have bought tickets in a stupid, vicious game that will play out over decades (lifetimes probably), will be corrosive to the trust, development and happiness of children, and will end in tears.
What to do about it? The first consideration for you grantwhit is that you are meddling. Where alienation is concerned it is usual for family members and 'friends' to be in there with their oars in the water, along with their own emotional baggage and world views. They do far more harm than good, while excusing their interference as 'helping'.
The first consideration for the parents and grandparents is to put children first and stop this truly idiotic game forthwith. It would already have damaged the participants and children inevitably suffer as collateral damage.
Alienation of children from any family is child abuse, period. With the help of a counsellor they should bury the hatchet and not in one another's head. Every day lost adds to the toxic environment.
Housing is shelter. The offer seems well intentioned. Attitude and territorial elbowing are in the road of good sense. Let them work it out.
There is a much larger issue at stake here: alienation. They have bought tickets in a stupid, vicious game that will play out over decades (lifetimes probably), will be corrosive to the trust, development and happiness of children, and will end in tears.
What to do about it? The first consideration for you grantwhit is that you are meddling. Where alienation is concerned it is usual for family members and 'friends' to be in there with their oars in the water, along with their own emotional baggage and world views. They do far more harm than good, while excusing their interference as 'helping'.
The first consideration for the parents and grandparents is to put children first and stop this truly idiotic game forthwith. It would already have damaged the participants and children inevitably suffer as collateral damage.
Alienation of children from any family is child abuse, period. With the help of a counsellor they should bury the hatchet and not in one another's head. Every day lost adds to the toxic environment.
Housing is shelter. The offer seems well intentioned. Attitude and territorial elbowing are in the road of good sense. Let them work it out.
alexlee said:
Does her in-laws hate her?
Either way, agree with the others. This is a bad idea...
How can you say to your in-laws - "Since you're our landlord, you can't visit us every week and see the bub." ? Really, its easier to be upfront and say "We want to spend some of the weeks just with the three of us." without having the finance and legal bind through rental agreement...
And if they hate her, well... duh.. when it gets really ugly, her husband will be in the middle of it all, not something she will want in her marriage.
