The first signs of aging... or what they don't tell you in life education

[Barracuda]

Warning - this thread may have a propensity to devolve into a 60's English sitcom.

Perhaps some of the statesmen of the forum can help me through my emotional crisis? (Take a step back ladies, this could get ugly).

Now, I'm a early-mid thirties guy. I still feel young even though my midrift might not be as taut as it used to be, my calves go twang everytime I think it's time to go for a run and my brow is starting to get some furrows that don't disappear when I stop concentrating. So far none of these physical issues have done anything to make me question my youth.

But at the bathroom mirror this morning....

"Oh what a beautiful morning...
oh what a beautiful day..."
Brush the hair.... check
Floss the teeeeeeth (now that I'm made to feel guiltly for not doing it enough)... check
Clean the teeth..... check
Check the complexion.... beeautiful!
"Look at those shoulders..... grrrr, you warrior you"
Consider the moisteriser the wife always wants me to use.... not bloody likely...
Check for extraneous gorilla nasal hairs....
AHHHH!!!!
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!"

There is was - staring me straight in the eye. It wasn't black like it's neighbours or unlucky forebears - it was WHITE!!!! Not even a dark grey. I had a gorilla nose hair that was white!!!! There was no joy ripping that one out.... the tears that worked their way out during extraction had nothing to do with the physical pain...

Where the hell did that come from?

Now, I'm no Peter Pan (although I will live forever). I was expecting at some stage to get some sort of subtle warning that perhaps I was getting a little older. A slight or gentle nudge that says "hey buddy, you've made it - but let's keep it our little secret..." Perhaps some mental trait that I could shrug off and ignore - like "lick tar of road" stories that I can just suppress before I blurt them out.

But this? That's hardly a nudge - that's an invasion of privacy! That's like realising my insides are already middle aged and now it's starting to leak out due to the internal pressure.

Where to from here? Am I already on the slope and gathering speed? Should I expect protuding ear hair anytime soon? Should I start researching hair colours so I have something in the cupboard for the next surprise?

Or worse - does everybody else already think that I'm old and I'm the only one who's not in on the joke?

Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi? You're my only hope!

 

[aef]

Being in a similar age group and facing the possibility that the same thing may happen to me,

I have made the following observation:

If you are unlucky enough to lose hair from your head, it is not lost, it just grows back on some other part of your body.........(ears, nose, back fill-in the missing area)

 

[Barracuda]

LOL

Is that a universal law?

Hair can neither be created nor destroyed.... just relocated?

 

[MichaelW]

Barracuda,

Being in the same age bracket as yourself I can't help but sympathise. Unfortunately I experienced this problem some time ago so appear to be ageing that much faster than yourself. I started pulling the odd rampant grey hair out when they first started appearing. I figured at the time it was a one-off and didn't really mean anything. Unfortunately this just forced them to multiply and I've now given up.

In fact I've fully embraced the attractive mature man look now but not to the extent that I'm wishing any more of the little blighters to appear any time soon.

Welcome to the joke, better late than never
Michael

 

[thefirstbruce]

Nose hairs are easy-ish to tweezer with a mirror......

Now tweezing ear hairs, that's something else....and forget neck hair that runs from occiput to scapulae.....

I put a morning tea's worth of reflection into the unwanted orifice hair thing a while back....dreamt up a device/solution...small stick with a heatable wax ball on the end, about the size of your nostril orifice....heat the sucker so it is sticky, up the snozzer, wait for it to cool and harden, then rip that baby out.....no more messing with tweezers one or two hairs at a time....the whole carpet gets yanked out...and you are 10 years younger, in hair years, for another 2 months.......just have a mop nearby to clean up the blood....

 

[Barracuda]

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Way too dangerous and painful. And I'm just talking about the thought of encroaching neck hair.

As for your invention (Nads on a stick) - isn't that what the embalmists did to dead Pharoahs 4000 years ago?

 

[aef]

nads on a stick......

 

[topcropper]

I like the new trend where when your hair is thining out you just shave it all off or very short at least. Andre Agassy would have been one of the first. I notice lots doing this these days and it looks so much better than the old comb over trick that was common 20 years ago. The comb over was where some bloke with a tiny amount of hair left, let it grow real long, and managed to comb it over his head a few times to make it look like a head of hair.

Thankfully I have heaps of hair, but when it's getting low, off it goes, or a number one at least.

See ya's.

 

[geoffw]

I like the new trend where when your hair is thining out you just shave it all off or very short at least.

Ah, so that's why you're called topcropper. I thought it was to do with farming or something.

 

[lizzie]

better to go grey then bald (methinks) ... perhaps it might be time to get some highlights in the hair to make the grey look sort-of beach blonde instead?

 

[aef]

Lizzie,

Do you mean we get a choice?

Grey or bald?

 

[emu]

Lizzie
I call it the distinguished (famous, eminent, celebrated, acclaimed, illustrious, notable, striking, impressive, noble) look.

 

[thefirstbruce]

lizzie, as a guy who spends a lot of the week looking at the tops of women's heads (no smart alec remarks everyone ), I can tell you that I haven't seen too many 30 plusses who's roots are the same colour as their shafts....

OK, now for a brand name for nads on a stick.....

snozballz?
nosads?
nude-noz
....but remember they are for ear hairs too.....

hairballz
wowo's (wax on wax off)
woho's (wax on hair off)
hairholz

noz lines
snoz rippers

 

[AlmostBob]

redheads, age well, if you can call apparently pink hair graceful.
Bright Orange Nose Hair
I have inherited my grandfathers ear tufts that were so funny when I was 5
I actually bought a battery operated, round, trimmer

New from KSmell: Nosemaster 50 only 99.99 plus shipping and handling with this special offer, and you get free the eyebrow de-busher

that can be nasaly or auraly(?) inserted to crop the errant growth back to something normal seeming. Serious error in judgement as ungrateful little wretches, After all I only trmmed them not killed them, TICKLE when they grow back. and its worse than the eyestreaming pluck effect

 

[kero]

i started balding in my late teens... so number 1 was and still is my hair 'style' for the past 15 years... winter can be harsh sometimes without a beanie.

my mom hates the bald head cos some idoitic neighbour told her one day that i look like a prisoner... was angry when that happened cos my mom demanded that i kept my hair!

to be honest, i prefer to have no hair at all than leaving bits of patches on my head. i guess out of the two, complete bald looks better

On another note, did some research show that physcial apperance including having hair and being tall are the few attributes to a sucessful career especally in climbing the coporate ladder? i do hope it is rubbish cos i'm short and balding fast.

another thing about getting old... my memory is getting from bad to worse... so much so that i m taking ginko bilabo to improve my memory andconcentration.... hey, where did i leave my ginko pills?

 

[alexlee]

Hair (or lack thereof) doesn't matter. As long as you use a Ferrari as a distraction.

 

[skater]

If you are unlucky enough to lose hair from your head, it is not lost, it just grows back on some other part of your body.........(ears, nose, back fill-in the missing area)

I can testify to that. When we met, Hubby had no nose, ear, back hair. These days, though it's everywhere but on top of his head.

 

[skater]

I like the new trend where when your hair is thining out you just shave it all off or very short at least. Andre Agassy would have been one of the first. I notice lots doing this these days and it looks so much better than the old comb over trick that was common 20 years ago. The comb over was where some bloke with a tiny amount of hair left, let it grow real long, and managed to comb it over his head a few times to make it look like a head of hair.

Hubby's hair is usually a number 1. Sometimes shaved completely. A lot more attractive than the comb over. My Dad had one of those. YUUUCCCCKK!!!

 

[Les]

G'day emu,

I call it the distinguished (famous, eminent, celebrated, acclaimed, illustrious, notable, striking, impressive, noble) look

That's far better than I have heard. In my case (for a decade or more) I've been the recipient of comments such as:

"That grey hair makes you look quite extinguished"

- or (worse)

"It gives you that air of extinction"

Well, let me tell you all - I'm STILL HERE !!!
For now,

Regards,

 

[lizzie]

my hubby has the opposite problem. he's got a full, curly head of head, without a grey in sight which makes him look years younger than he is. good in some respects, but he finds it annoying when some of his international associates don't seem to take him seriously because of his "youth". they'll all the same age but they are all greying, lined and wearing glasses.