Will men change after married ?

[Ocean Architect]

"Come to think of it, I could probably make a one carat diamond by putting a bit of charcoal between my bumcheeks"

.... and that is a mental image I really didn't need this morning....choking in my rice bubbles! Thanks OA, thanks a lot!

Anytime

I couldn't help but picture the doctors trying to find it when OA sits down, forgetting he was holding that diamond between his cheeks.

Yeah right, those buggers will invite me back for an exam every week and start a jewelry store. "Proctologist Jewelers"

Kinda gives a whole new meaning to the word "prospecting" though doesn't it

 

[Casserole Dish]

Now you're talking my language

"should I get one $5000 a night hooker....of 5000 $1 a night hookers?. Lock in B, Eddie. No, I don't want to call a friend or ask no stinkin audience, just GIMME THE 5000 EL CHEAPO HOOKERS DAMMIT EDDIE!"

Urgh. You're all class, you are.

 

[Ocean Architect]

Urgh. You're all class, you are.

I would strongly suggest that you go to ebay and purchase the most expensive sense of humour available. Sell your IP's if neccessary. As if you take me seriously. I'm so cheap I negotiate at McDonalds for that extra nugget like it's Bankok and you think I'm going to spend money on some girl who is probably selling herself to feed a drug addiction that has AIDS and herpes jumping all over her like a flea circus? Ya dreamin'

...that isn't to say that I wouldn't accept a free sample. For evaluation purposes, of course. Just to assess the state of the industry, and broaden my wholistic economic outlook

 

[Monopoly]

I'm so cheap I negotiate at McDonalds for that extra nugget

And when you finally get it I bet you wait till the checkout girl/guy's back is turned and complain bitterly that you STILL haven't been given that one more nugget!!!

 

[Ocean Architect]

And when you finally get it I bet you wait till the checkout girl/guy's back is turned and complain bitterly that you STILL haven't been given that one more nugget!!!

I have actually been banned from several takeaway places because of my mass boredom and willingness to debate utterly stupid things in a very rational, articulate tone for reasons of my own amusement.

"Hi, I'd like to order a serve of chips please"
"ohkhay, that is $2.80"
"No worries, here you go"
...4 minutes later
"so, what's happening with those chips?"
"they are cooking"
"Ah. So, uh...how long have you been running the fish n chip shop?"
"Too long. 11 years"
"11 years? Wow, that's a long time!"
"Yes, very long"
"So...you have lots of experience cooking chips then?"
"Yes, yes, lots of experience" *laughs*
"So...if you're so experienced...why havn't you figured out a way to cook them faster? It's been 5 minutes 17 seconds, what kind of clown show is this?"
"The chips take this long to cook"
"Dude don't give me that. With 11 years experience I know that you have a secret formula for instachips. You're just taking this long to make your shop look busy aren't you?"
"No mister Ocean, we do-"
"DON'T TELL ME YOUR PROBLEMS JUST HURRY UP, CHOP CHOP EH!"
"Mr Ocean, there is no need to be-"
"DON'T GIVE ME THAT. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE LABOUR PAINS, I JUST WANT THE BABY, PRESS FAST FORWARD ON THIS THING ALREADY!"
"You very rude man Mr Ocean, very rude"
"*I'm* rude? YOU'RE the one using me as decoration for your shop when I could have been out of here ages ago! What a hypocrite! By the way the chips are burning what the hell dude, I thought you had experience"
"You #^&%# get the &*^#$ out of my $*#^# shop and don't you come back &*$*(#^#^#*!!! *heart attack*"
"Uh, dude, just one more thing"
"WHAT YO WANT?!?!"
"Got any lemon?"

Similar convo actually happened when I was a teenager. Still cracks me up That poor guy lol

 

[Casserole Dish]

As if you take me seriously.

No, no, the more of your posts I read, the more I'm getting to know your style. So no, I didn't take the post seriously. Perhaps my post needed the smily thing at the end.

You must drive your mates crazy.

 

[skater]

Lovely! I get home from a long day of standing on my feet, make a cup of tea, put my aching feet up and open this thread. Hmm.....my tea is now spluttered all over the screen, keyboard & desk after reading this:

Come to think of it, I could probably make a one carat diamond by putting a bit of charcoal between my bumcheeks

Then this:

"should I get one $5000 a night hooker....of 5000 $1 a night hookers?. Lock in B, Eddie. No, I don't want to call a friend or ask no stinkin audience, just GIMME THE 5000 EL CHEAPO HOOKERS DAMMIT EDDIE!"

I've got some seriously nasty mental images going on at the moment.

Umm...thanks......I think.

 

[Cupcakes]

I don't think men will ever understand the diamond engagement ring thing! Just like most women struggle to understand men and their cars, sports, playstation/COD lol..

I hate wearing jewelry though so I don't know what I'll do if I get engaged. I don't think I could stand wearing a ring every day! Especially an expensive one, I'd be sooo scared of scratching it.

I tend to think of engagement rings as something priceless though, especially when they're passed down to your daughter/granddaughters. When my grandmother passed away she gave my mother her ring and it's something she really treasures. When jewelry has a sentimental meaning attached it becomes so much more valuable than whatever you paid for it/what you could sell it for.

Diamonds are really one of those things where if you buy the right one it won't ever date, you can pull it out when you're 100 years old and it will still look good. Whereas a $20,000 car will be at the wreckers by the time you're 100 (unless of course it's some kind of collector’s car).

 

[Mr. Fabulous]

"should I get one $5000 a night hooker....of 5000 $1 a night hookers?.

I love Bender.

 

[Xenia]

And do what with it? You can't eat it, drink it, smoke it, or shag it. It's a useless trinket that serves nothing except a silly desire to demonstrate to other people that one can afford it. Costume jewelry has the same practical application, and so the "show off" factor is the only thing left.

I have better things to do with my money.

Like hookers.

(total lies I'm too cheap for hookers )

Nah, we'll take the diamonds - the bigger the better, and the designer clothes, cafe's, classy restaurants and 100 pairs of shoes.

Most women get sex for free, we just naturally have the upper hand in that department and always will. Just a LOOK in the right direction will achieve those results and us women know how to have ALL our needs met and for FREE!. Men have never and will never be a challenge - even after you marry them

So we need to spend our hard earned money somewhere - diamonds, clothes, restaurants....

 

[Cupcakes]

Men have never and will never be a challenge - even after you marry them

Bahaha this is sooo true! The most stylish women dress to impress other women, not men! Men are too easy! A compliment from another woman actually means something. A compliment from a man just means he was looking at your boobs/butt.

 

[Xenia]

Bahaha this is sooo true! The most stylish women dress to impress other women, not men! Men are too easy! A compliment from another woman actually means something. A compliment from a man just means he was looking at your boobs/butt.

Yes yes
If a girlfriend told me she did not like my outfit, I would be concerned and ask why? I would probably take the comments on board.

The other day however, my husband said "please take those ridiculous shoes off" they do not match what you are wearing.

I just smiled, said "I understand honey, you have a different opinion, thanks for your comments" and went through the door wearing the shoes on.
I did not take his comments on board at all.

 

[Mr. Fabulous]

Men may not be 'challenging' but as we get older, we become more desirable. Women, once they turn 30... it's all downhill. It's nice not having an expiration date.

 

[Xenia]

Totally disagree Mark, there are many gorgeous and successful women in their 50s and 60s and even 70s who still have that same feminine, intelligent sophistication and total control over men.

any some of them find younger (not older) men MORE attractive.

 

[Property Meister]

The other day however, my husband said "please take those ridiculous shoes off" they do not match what you are wearing.

I just smiled, said "I understand honey, you have a different opinion, thanks for your comments" and went through the door wearing the shoes on.
I did not take his comments on board at all.

and this just proves my point that women never thinkl they are wrong and that they are always right

just like ive basically never heard a woman sincerely say sorry about anything serious

its always 'thats they way i am so too bad'

eg in my line of work where i get to deal with messy divorces

if the guy has cheated on his wife. He knows he has done wrong and can admit to it and is willing to take some form of responsibility

when a woman has cheated on the husband its always his fault. 'oh he didnt give me enough attention' oh he was a work aholic even though i was the one who pressured him into earning more' and thats why i cheated

im sorry to come across as biased and bitter but unfortunately this is what isee on a regular basis and im just stating what i see. Im sure not everyone is likle this

 

[Xenia]

so true - us women just do what we want.

In the Cypriot culture (where I am from) there is a swear word, one word that basically means 'a man who's wife is cheating on him".

The entire culture identifies it as being the "man's fault"

 

[Mr. Fabulous]

Totally disagree Mark, there are many gorgeous and successful women in their 50s and 60s and even 70s who still have that same feminine, intelligent sophistication and total control over men.

I'm sure that's what they tell themselves.

 

[Xenia]

off course that's what they tell themselves. that's HOW they achieve it.

 

[wobbycarly]

so true - us women just do what we want.

In the Cypriot culture (where I am from) there is a swear word, one word that basically means 'a man who's wife is cheating on him".

The entire culture identifies it as being the "man's fault"

cuckold is a swearword?

 

[Monopoly]

cuckold is a swearword?

No it's not a swearword as such, I think what Xenia means it is used as an insult (used to put someone down by referring to them as such). This is the case in many European cultures especially amongst Greeks and Italians.