A question for the women.

[Pushka]

yes i have experienced this quiet often.. It gives me the S&^&Ts.
I now deal mainly with other women in the Tax accountant / MB & where ever else i can, no I haven't swapped sides / teams, I am just fed up with this attitude. When I turn up to "meetings" with 4 children in toe, ask and what income is hubby on I reply, and then so your at home with the kids?? why is that presumed, !!

To be honest, the message you are sending is that you are a SAHM - it is an entirely reasonable presumption if you bring 4 kids with you to a business meeting. I dont think it is an "attitude to women thing" but simply the way you are presenting yourself. There is nothing wrong in doing this, but I think it is reasonable of others to think that perhaps raising four children and not working for a salary is simply what you do.

I found at around 40 I started to disappear in the shops. The only consolation I suppose is that the 20 year old serving will be 40 one day .

Really? I have found the opposite. OK Wylie, fess up; are you still shopping at surf shops and other teenage apparel stores!

Before that, I asked the price of a very expensive sisal and she said "Oh, I don't think you could afford that one"..

Ooh, we used to have an exclusive dress shop near us, we used to live in the suburb that had the 'highest wealth' in Adelaide. So women would walk in the shop with jeans on, and she would give them the 'look' and tell them that she had nothing in their price range. She was such a b***h! However, karma got the better of her. One day, one of the wealthiest women in Adelaide came into the store - she was the type who would even wear her kids school tracksuits - she didnt give a hoot what she looked like. But she needed a nice dress for a special function. She got 'the look' and walked out. But she has a very wide network and within maybe, six months the dress shop closed. It had been there for years!

 

[rugrat]

LOL- If i get ignored in shops I let my 3.5yr old and 1.5yr out of the pram to have a 'look' at everything. I don't get ignored for long then!

Honestly, I am not used to dealing with people who ignore me or otherwise patronise me, maybe that is why I am finding it so annoying when trying to deal with property issues. And it certainly hasn't been everyone.

Of course people who do treat me that way don't end up with my customership.

I was just curious as to whether other women noticed this, or if I was just imagining things.

 

[rugrat]

To be honest, the message you are sending is that you are a SAHM - it is an entirely reasonable presumption if you bring 4 kids with you to a business meeting. I dont think it is an "attitude to women thing" but simply the way you are presenting yourself. There is nothing wrong in doing this, but I think it is reasonable of others to think that perhaps raising four children and not working for a salary is simply what you do.

But being a SAHM doesn't mean you aren't intelligent or unworthy of decent treatment..surely???

I choose to be a SAHM. I choose not to 'work' at this point in time. As such I have my children with me at all times. But Don't ever assume that means I don't have anything to contribute!

 

[Pushka]

But being a SAHM doesn't mean you aren't intelligent or unworthy of decent treatment..surely???

No absolutely not, but what lisag was railing about was the assumption that she was a SAHM. She didnt mention that as a result she was poorly treated, just that it was ASSUMED! So in fact, I was defending all the SAHM's!

 

[rugrat]

No absolutely not, but what lisag was railing about was the assumption that she was a SAHM. She didnt mention that as a result she was poorly treated, just that it was ASSUMED! So in fact, I was defending all the SAHM's!

Ok completely misunderstood.

 

[wylie]

Really? I have found the opposite. OK Wylie, fess up; are you still shopping at surf shops and other teenage apparel stores!

To be honest, I HATE shopping where there is TOO much attention on me. I just like to be left alone to look at things without any pressure. Hence, I generally don't go into boutiques, where someone seems to hover at my elbow. It makes me very uncomfortable. I must have been behind the door when the "girlie" and "shopping" genes were being handed out .

I have been into a surf shop once or twice with my kids .

Actually, it is not any particular type of store that I "disappear" in. But teenagers serving do tend to seek eye contact with those younger than about 20 and the rest of us can be left there like a shag on a rock.

The other thing that kind of shocked me was that I was 30 when we did our first major reno. I was younger than the builders. We did another one when I was 36 and I was younger (just ) than the builder but older than his offsiders with dreadlocks. Next reno was when I was 38 and I was still younger than the builder but I noticed that most tradies were getting younger and younger.

Now I am 49 I am starting to feel like I will never have a tradie who is older than me working for me. It kind of makes me feel a bit old.

At lease I have never "batted the eyelids" to tradies, hoping they will do a little extra, like a friend does. It makes me cringe and I want to tell her how sad it seems for a woman in her 50's (maybe 60's) to be batting her eyelids at a man 20 years younger, hoping for some extra work .

 

[Mooze]

Some days I love the attitude from RE's. I've gone to a couple of open houses purely because I was running past at the time (bought our Duffy/ACT house this way). Most of the time I'm dressed in jeans or those zip off travel style pants. This is what I need to wear for work these days (must stand up to bush bashing through any scrub). However it means that it's easier to play a bit dumb and drag extra info out of the RE.

Sometimes though it's a bit ridiculous. The whole "I'm not talking to you until your husband is present" gets too much. Can't be bothered buying off those ones.

 

[Jazza]

Use it to your advantage where you can Rugrat.

 

[graisme]

through past experiences, i now always use the largest male real estate agent i can when dealing with commercial and industrial tenants, at least until i have them in the bag......

blond, female and short, many blokey types think they can intimidate. they usually find out differently but it takes too much energy.

i've been single for over a decade with a reasonable portfolio of commercial and industrials. very recently i became engaged and took my partner-to-be along to a broker meeting. it was certainly weird, with the male broker addressing my partner. i assume it's something i'll have to get used to.

 

[Piston Broke]

As a few people have finally pointed out:
There is no stronger negotiating position to be in, than being underestimated!
The more you are underestimated, the stronger your position
It seems most have'nt worked this out yet.
I actually go out of my way for this to happen these days.

 

[rugrat]

As a few people have finally pointed out:
There is no stronger negotiating position to be in, than being underestimated!
The more you are underestimated, the stronger your position
It seems most have'nt worked this out yet.
I actually go out of my way for this to happen these days.

sure...except when you aren't trying to negotiate anything, just get some information out of the dimwits.

 

[bespoke]

Gee flash back to my young and single years trying to get a drink at a club/pub mainly staffed by young females (who would serve the good looking stud standing next to you even though I had been standing there considerably longer).

Bought a car about 3.5 years ago and was more patronised by the female salesperson than any male car salesman I have come accross. Big mistake for her, got the same car 9K cheaper elsewhere by bargaining.

I have found that alot of time dealing with tradesmen that I have beeen ignored competely when the hubbie is in the vicinity. Tradesmen just assume I wouldn't have a clue about construction and ignore me and talk to the hubbie. He usually says now "mate, shes the boss and the one with the Architecture degree, I know jack s**t about this stuff".

Once had a tradie do this to me/us. I asked the questions and he answered to hubbie. When he walked out the door we looked at each other and laughed. He didn't get the job.


I have found with RE agents that the really good ones work out pretty damned quick who the decision maker is, havn't looked at commercial property though. May be different in that case.

 

[bobbiemenzies]

Imagine being Aboriginal and wanting to buy a house? Bet that wouldn't be easy.

 

[craigb]

RR talk faster throw in facts and figures and that will get any sales (persons) attention.
mention rates ,FHOG, and the moovement of property, Show them what you know, and then talk buisiness, its like talking with tradies, be firm, throw in a few swear words, and don't bull **** around. show them you know what you know and mean buisiness.

 

[rugrat]

Imagine being Aboriginal and wanting to buy a house? Bet that wouldn't be easy.

To be honest, I wouldn't know. I have to admit I don't actually know any aboriginal people. I know, and am friends with, plenty of different people - asian, middle eastern, indian, thai, japanese, south african, even african american. But I actually don't know any aboriginal people. The only time I even recall seeing an aboriginal person in Canberra is at the aboriginal tent embassy. Then again maybe I'm just not very observant.

Having said that, I am certain other cultural groups have to put up with stupid predjuices. And in truth being female has never held me back from anything, and the stupid predjuices I have hadto deal with have even on occaision worked in my favour. But I still reserve the right to winge about stupid people when they annoy me, particularly if they do so because of my gender

 

[RumpledElf]

All the aboriginals I know, without exception, are white skinned, blonde hair, blue eyes. How does THAT work?

 

[Celeste]

At lease I have never "batted the eyelids" to tradies, hoping they will do a little extra, like a friend does. It makes me cringe and I want to tell her how sad it seems for a woman in her 50's (maybe 60's) to be batting her eyelids at a man 20 years younger, hoping for some extra work .

funny my hubby says I do this squaring up thing with my hips........??
I've never noticed. he laughs his head off especially when I get that really good discount or the highest discount rate on my trady account,,hehehe sorry it just comes naturally.

Tho, being thought of as a little dumb and maybe the rouse of having to check with hubby on things can help in negotiations. It did recently when we purchased a new car, hubby came with me to look at what we already decided we wanted, decided on colour and extras etc. and then he left. We pre arrange max $ we wanted to spend and I did the negotations and of course I had to ring hubby to check if was ok and I ummed a lot and he presto another 2k off.. end up with a really good price and all my extras free...

I do not have any trouble from salesmen on the realestate side of things. I have however hired a maintnenance guy to help hang 3 x 2.4 mtr doors up the side of an apartment building using scaffolding, and he was so surprised I could measure and had ordered the correct size doors.. That he had to tell me..

I guess if we are clever we can use other peoples prejudices or false presumptions to our benefit.

Celeste

 

[Miss V]

It might be because I am dressed casually, the fact that DH is the income earner and I am a SAHM, or it could be the baby I am holding and the two young kids underfoot (a babysitter would be nice, but in most cases unnessecary) - But I seem to have a sign stuck to my head that says "Explain it all to my DH, I am 'just' a SAHM, so of course I wouldn't understand anything"

Why don't you get DH to hold the baby and have the kids underfoot?

 

[rugrat]

Why don't you get DH to hold the baby and have the kids underfoot?

Because (and I don't mean to offend other males out there) DH is a typical male who can only do one thing at once.
For example, Talking/listening to the bank manager is one thing, so he doesn't notice the 2yr child next to him climbing on the bank managers desk turning off the computer , nor does he notice when the bank manager is busy getting the computer working again, that same child set off the silent alarm (although to be fair I missed that one as well, until the cashier stuck her head in to ask if everyone was alright in there :lol: )

 

[bespoke]

Good one Celeste, play them at their own game.

When I bought my car I was being horribly patronised by the female salesman! I was so fed up with the bull s*** negotiations that I walked out, went home and got on the computer. I got up the Holden web page and e-mailed every Holden dealership in NSW and told them what I wanted and gave my mobile. Well, I got 5 phone calls. I told all of them that I wanted to buy , had cash and no trade in and I wanted their best price straight up. I said I didnt want any bull s** negotiations and to and froing. They got one go at it.On the 3rd call I got a salesman in Sydney who was fantastic, told me he'd get back and within 30 mins came back with a price 9K cheaper than I had gotten from my local dealership. Catch was he wanted an immediate decision and a deposit straight away. This guy got what I was wanting straight away. It was the end of the month (April) and I suppose getting close to the end of the financial year. I got the feeling he was going for some sort of sales record.

Funny thing was, we picked up the car 2 weeks later and he wasn't there - had been promoted.

I had said to hubbie, "if I can't get it for X amount I'll walk away".

I picked up our 2nd IP 12 months ago the same way. It was originally on the market for $259K, I got it for $225K. It didn't bother me if we didn't get it because at the time no-one was buying and the agent knew we had the finance pre approved and there were others I was interested in.

We signed the contract on a Friday, the Friday before the first home owners grant was anounced, cant remember if it was anounced on the Monday or what day but I remember the hubbie ringing me at work and saying how "arsy" I was. Agent said we would never have gotten it for that price if we had waited till the following week. He actually complimented me on my negotiation skills. There was no real skill, just that I didn't care if the offer was rejected, I was willing to walk away.

The IP is a town house and others in the same complex in the same condition are now being sold at around $260K

Talk about luck eh?