are people getting ruder? (not talking ss here)

[lizzie]

i'm just wondering if i'm becoming more aware or are, in general, people becoming ruder and less considerate?

to me, if you make a commitment to an arrangement then i believe you should honour that arrangement unless you renegotiate or it's an emergency. i seem to be encountering more and more people (generally socially - playdates, custody arrangements etc - as would be death to a business) who change arrangements willynilly, for no real reason (like, decided to go shopping instead), without consulting and then expect you to fall in line with what they "advise" is happening.

also, i am finding whilst either walking or driving, people are so less considerate and very few acknowledge if you give way rather than barge straight thru.

i find both rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful and could give many more examples of "lack of consideration" but will leave that to others.

it almost seems as if manners and politeness have shot out the window in recent decades. and i'm not talking about the younger generation either ... it seems to cover all age brackets.

**rant over

 

[investor2009]

Oh absolutely Liz, doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that.

People (I think) are getting much ruder in general, to the point that I've pretty well lost faith in humanity. Paired with everything else going on in the world and our extremely light sentencing for crime I feel we're going backwards FAST.

But I try not to worry myself about it. Nothing I can do and we will be our own demise in the end. All you can do is try to make your life the way you want it and not worry too much about the things you can't change.

Back to the general question, I think alot of this problem falls back on bad parenting.
I was lucky growing up in a strict household, and am a much better person for it today.

 

[Property Meister]

lizzie, one word, technology

and a few other things, eg Gen Y, culture etc. etc.

technology allows less face to face communication

eg sms, email etc.

you can now hide behind your computer,

also, people now do less face to face communication, eg ipods, laptops, facebook, msn etc.

admittedly, I have become ruder, 20 years 10 years ago, if I received an email/call from an agent about a property I had no interest in buying, just looking, I would have called them back, now, I just ignore them

unfortuantely, I hate myself in this respect, so you can imagine the most people who don't even realise they have done this or are too young!

I have experienced many a people who SMS because its easier to either deliver bad news or its easier to not communicate

eg, recently I had someone install something for me, the tradie came out, installed it, and then his boss rang him and told him to get the $$ off me (this was after I had paid a 50% deposit a few weeks earlier).

I informed him that I don't use cheques and I can give him a credit card, (AMEX) and that had he required payment he should have let me know, and I would have had it ready (it was $1000), he then proceeded to say, they don't accept credit cards, which was clearly a lie as I had paid the 50% deposit by card!, he then threatens me to uninstall the item and take it back, and wouldn't install it again without paying for another installation fee, I said, "go ahead, uninstall it". realising the threat didnt work on me, he takes my credit card over the phone, a few minutes later, swears at me, saying the numbers are fake!, I retold him the numbers, and another few minutes later, more abuse!!!! so I just gave my card to the tradie and said "you talk to your boss and tell him the numbers"

a few hours later I get a sms saying "card has worked, thanks" and I asked the tradie about his boss, and he says he was 44 yrs old,

 

[weg]

I've been noticing this for a while and think it's got worse also.

Think road rage, rude inpatient people (that appear like they're on drugs but aren't), and those that abuse retail staff .

Geez we're all busy and in a hurry.

Did anyone read about the 'Chico roll case' the other day? IT guy, earning 200K, so the media reported, ordered takeaway, got home and discovered his ordered Chiko roll wasn't there, so went back to the shop, threw things off the counter, jumped it and chased the 17yo male shop assistant to the back of the shop and assaulted him.

To top things off the Judge didn't convict him. Kinda, says it all, imo.

 

[willair]

Depends where you are i was in the front bar of a old hotel out the back of Tenterfield a few weeks ago,having a talk too an old man in his 70's and he was saying the same thing about the the way people are these days,but one line he said stood out to me,"I just want the Country Back
that I fought for.."

 

[Casserole Dish]

I think we all start to notice the 'rudeness' around us as we get older too.

I know I'm less tolerant now of others rudeness and will now speak up if someone jumps the queue at Bakers Delight (for instance) where as 10 yrs ago I would have shrugged and waited patiently. BUT now I usually have 2 small kids wanting to go home or are hungry, so now the rude person is not just being unfair to me, but also my kids.

Also I'm trying to set an example by being assertive for my kids because sadly being quiet, polite and gentle just dosen't work that well in today's society.

People are living less in the 'community' and more as individual family units so it's easier to slam a door in someones face if you don't know who they are. Also ppl just seem less aware of other people and their needs ie. older ppl or pregnant ladies wobbling around trying to stay upright on a bus or train.

No one makes much eye contact and lots of people are simply blind to body language and so do 'rude' things even without being aware of it. They can't be doing this stuff deliberatly can they??

 

[Peter_Tersteeg]

I've never been called 'Mister' outside of very formal circumstances. I don't really care, but as child I definitely called my parents friends 'Mr' & 'Mrs'. This more casual attitude has seemed to spread across all faciets of society.

I also think people need to smile more. It makes the world a happier place.

 

[skater]

People are definately much ruder and inconsiderate.

I remember well when my kids were younger and we were not at all well off. I used to take the kids out for their birthday parties and it would be extremely expensive for us at the time. There is usually a minimum number that you have to pay for (think bowling, skating, putt-putt, etc) and the cost was around $13.00 per head.

We used to send the invitations out with a phone number for them to RSVP to and a date to do it, so that we could budget for the day. Many times I would not be given the courtesy of a call and not know how many I would have to pay for. Because money was tight, I would often ring (if I had the number of the parents) to ask if they were coming, and many times even after we had been told they would come would we end up having to pay for kids that were a no-show.

It got so bad that for one of the parties we not only wrote the RSVP info on the invitation but also added in capital letters that if they did not RSVP by the date specified that their child would not be admitted and another child would be taking their place.

 

[Aaron Sice]

i find getting someone to change how they are on the phone is to introduce yourself and ask them to repeat their name.

if they know your name and you know theirs, they're less likely to be rude.

i never have a problem with anyone over the phone and in person i find a simple pleasant tone with manners goes a long way to helping you get what you want.

on the kids note - my kids want to call their friends' parents by their first name and i drum into them every time that regardless of what they sya, you call them Mr or Mrs XXXX. My eldest - just this morning - ran into one of her friends and she said "that my dad! you can call him Mr Sice." and i realised it was working.

 

[skater]

on the kids note - my kids want to call their friends' parents by their first name and i drum into them every time that regardless of what they sya, you call them Mr or Mrs XXXX. My eldest - just this morning - ran into one of her friends and she said "that my dad! you can call him Mr Sice." and i realised it was working.

This is a funny one. Kids that I teach or have competed with at skating call my by my first name and I am fine with it. It would be strange to be called anything else. However, in saying that, I have never liked the kids friends to call my by my first name. I find it very disrespectful and way too familiar. One boy in particular called me by my first name repeatedly after being told that he was to call me & Hubby Mr & Mrs Skater. I was very insulted by this and never did like him, and a big part of the dislike of him was his total lack of courtesy in calling me something that he was told not to.

That being said, now that their friends are adults, it is different again and I don't mind. I would still expect though that they call us Mr & Mrs until we told them that it was fine to call us otherwise.

 

[weg]

There are definately some great people and kids still around - I just think we notice that there are more obnoxious and bad mannered ones.

My son had an experience with an elderly lady recently. She must have thought a 12yo was more likely to mug someone than be well mannered and honest .

He was out with a friend at a shoppping mall where a sales girl gave them $10 too much change after purchasing a Wendy's icecream.

After waiting to get the girls attention again to give the money back, the old lady gave them the 'what lovely manners and honest boys you are' spiel and insisted she give him and his friend $5 each to buy something .

Son said he said 'no that's OK, we don't really want the money' but took it in the end because he thought she might feel bad.

I think what he did was not unusal. It's adults that teach or don't teach the child, and it's often adults that are worse because they should know better.

 

[Monopoly]

Of course they are. But am I surprised by it? Hardly!!!!

Just the other day I heard snippets of a debate on the radio (sorry don't know which station, I was listening to it whilst "on hold" with Telstra!)
Anyway, the argument was that children who bite other children at playgroup/ gymbaroo/kinder (whatever) should NOT be put in the corner and made to serve "time out" because it would psychologically scar them!!!! As a retired psych I thought this was the most ridiculous notion I had ever heard, and couldn't believe the BS coming out of the mouths of these (no doubt childless) ignoramusses!!!!

What about the kid who got bitten? How about their state of mind? What about the fact that the absence of "time out" (at least) sends the wrong message to all the other little "mary and johnnies" who now see that there is no consequence to their (bad) behaviours?

Seriously, if this is the next stage of the "no discipline" crusade, I want no part of it; I think EVERYONE should be made accountable for their actions, no matter what the age. If you're old enough to do something wrong, you're old enough to suffer the consequences / punishment, whether that's no dessert after dinner, loss of teddy, or sitting in the corner for a few minutes "time out" after which you should be made to apologise to your victim!!

And society shakes its head when they see news reports of its youth running amuck and totally uncontrollable! Gee...wonder why that is???????

 

[HomeBuyAU]

I'm finding it to be a pain in the neck to deal with people recently.

#Took my laptop to get a quote, idiot stripped it down to parts and gave me back only the left overs. I won't go into all the details but it was a most stressful ordeal and I'm still waiting for him to put it back together after 3 months.

#Purchased a new car and I asked for alloys from the tire shop a few doors down as the salesman said was possible to include. The tire shop owner took the tires I was shown and gave me some cheapies in hope I would not notice.

This is only a couple of examples of the nasties that are in the city of Newcastle when doing business here.

#Not to mention my local real estate office, it feels like your calling the local funeral shop, there is one receptionist that is sometimes there and is extremely rude on the phone with ZERO customer service skills. In fact I even went to the owner and let him know what I think of his lousy staff. They manage my properties and I also rent a place for myself out. The person I deal with was fine until I purchased a new car I called her and asked if I was able to park in my parking space next to my unit as the new tenant next door had been using it for his old car. She said NO, everyone must park out on the back grass. I said but that is my off street parking space I was promised on the agreement. She didn't agree and sent all the tenants including myself a letter saying the owner said no one is to park there. I pleaded my case to her and said I just purchased a new car but she did not care less and told me the owner has the last word.

So I knew the owner was the owner of a large company next door so I went and paid him a visit. He said he had not heard anything about all this and was quite annoyed and totally agreed with me and said I was to park there and not to worry and he would sort it out. Sure enough I got a call from the agency to say I was allowed to park there, not sure what that stupid B$$$** was thinking but I requested she put something in writing that I was able to park there I had to laugh about that one, yeah the Owner had the last word alright! .

 

[Aaron Sice]

That being said, now that their friends are adults, it is different again and I don't mind. I would still expect though that they call us Mr & Mrs until we told them that it was fine to call us otherwise.

i still call my friends' parents Mr and Mrs....

 

[skater]

i still call my friends' parents Mr and Mrs....

Mine were always Aunty & Uncle. Mind you, I didn't have any REAL Aunties or Uncles.

Oops, just realised that you said your friends' parents. I read it as your parents friends. Silly me.

 

[Nikolina]

Agree. I particularly can't stand when you let someone in front off you whilst driving out of politeness and no thanks is given. Really gets up my nerves.

 

[BayView]

i'm just wondering if i'm becoming more aware or are, in general, people becoming ruder and less considerate?

to me, if you make a commitment to an arrangement then i believe you should honour that arrangement unless you renegotiate or it's an emergency. i seem to be encountering more and more people (generally socially - playdates, custody arrangements etc - as would be death to a business) who change arrangements willynilly, for no real reason (like, decided to go shopping instead), without consulting and then expect you to fall in line with what they "advise" is happening.

also, i am finding whilst either walking or driving, people are so less considerate and very few acknowledge if you give way rather than barge straight thru.

i find both rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful and could give many more examples of "lack of consideration" but will leave that to others.

it almost seems as if manners and politeness have shot out the window in recent decades. and i'm not talking about the younger generation either ... it seems to cover all age brackets.

**rant over

Don't get ME started on this one....oh, alright.

I reckon the human race as a whole has gone so downhill it's not funny, since I was boy.

Maybe I was young and naieve.

My view now is that the more desirable humans we need on Planet Earth - people who want to educate themselves, people who have some class, people who have some career ambition and pride in themselves, their apprearance and their general attitude to life - are the smaller minority and getting smaller. Thes epeople are only having one or two kids....The braindead majority are reproducing like rabbits meanwhile.

I see the sub-class only increasing, re-populating themsleves at a rate of knots, living on welfare, looking for the rort and ever-diluting the intelligence pool, increasing the crime rate, the single mother rate, the druggie rate and more.

The fact that EVERYONE has to have a tattoo because everyone else has one or 100. For god's sake. The fact that despite all the info freely available today to the contrary, the under-achieving young still smoke cigarettes, and eat Maccas while weighing 100kg's or more in Year 10.

And so on.

Just go to any shopping mall, or any Maccas drivethrough (or Maccas counter) and study the level of humanity you will see there.

Maybe I'm a bit critical?

Go easy; I am an Aquarian - we want to save the word.

 

[Corey Batt]

Plato:
"What is happening to our young
people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They
ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions.
Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"

I've met my fair share of rude elderly men, but most of all elderly women.

 

[lizzie]

Plato:
"What is happening to our young
people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They
ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions.
Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"

I've met my fair share of rude elderly men, but most of all elderly women.

that's why i said no particular generation, but across the board.

wasn't targeting the young, rather society in general.

 

[jaycee]

Plato:
"What is happening to our young
people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They
ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions.
Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"

I've met my fair share of rude elderly men, but most of all elderly women.

Oh so it was Plato... I've been wrongly saying Socrates.

Maybe that's why it's always gone down like a lead balloom each time