It was an intrusive, personal, none of anyone's business question whether the poster had to pay their mother back or not. The poster didn't suggest others do the same, they just explained what happened in their family.
Bunch of jealous whiners
- Thread starter smallbuyer
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It was an intrusive, personal, none of anyone's business question whether the poster had to pay their mother back or not. The poster didn't suggest others do the same, they just explained what happened in their family.
Jaycee,
All questions here on SS are fair game IMO
If the person didn't want to answer, they can say so.
Why do you want to moderate everything?
I thought it quite a valid question if being held up as an example of "what happens in their country."
They are using their parents' retirement moneis to pay for an education that has the potential to benefit them significantly financially.
So, when the parents come to retire - after perhaps paying for several kids to complete their uni from their super - who is paying for their funds with which to enjoy a comfortable and non-government reliant retirement?
their children.
HECS is a great system. You get to go to uni, and then pay back some of the cost (the rest is subsidised by foreign students and the government) at a time when you are earning enough to do so easily.
I went through the HECS system to pay for uni, and started paying it back when I got my first graduate role. Compared with what I earn now, it was a small price to pay.
I went through the HECS system to pay for uni, and started paying it back when I got my first graduate role. Compared with what I earn now, it was a small price to pay.
Retire?
Hiya
Different cultures do things differently....in my case, my parents chose to pay for me and all my siblings' uni fees so that we start our careers debt free...in fact in my circle of friends, the parents all did the similar thing...
Retirement for my parents mean living together with their children (sometimes under the same roof) or in close proximity...cooking and having meals together...minding and being part of their grandchildrens' lives when they are growing up.....
If you must ask, in terms of monetary returns, i can safely tell you my parents reaped dividends many times over their "original investment"...in fact, the dividends are never ending...
I know for a fact, that my siblings and i are totally grateful to our parents for all their sacrifices...a phone call from my parents and we drop everything !
but much more than that, there isn't so much a mindset of "me versus the kids" but rather everyone is in it together ...when kids are successful, it is "reflected glory" for the parents.....
However, i reiterate, all cultures do things differently....and funnily, my hubby and i come from such different backgrounds and i can relate to what you are asking............HOWEVER, i think he has seen the way my family works and is gradually being persuaded to come over to the dark side
Hiya
Different cultures do things differently....in my case, my parents chose to pay for me and all my siblings' uni fees so that we start our careers debt free...in fact in my circle of friends, the parents all did the similar thing...
Retirement for my parents mean living together with their children (sometimes under the same roof) or in close proximity...cooking and having meals together...minding and being part of their grandchildrens' lives when they are growing up.....
If you must ask, in terms of monetary returns, i can safely tell you my parents reaped dividends many times over their "original investment"...in fact, the dividends are never ending...
I know for a fact, that my siblings and i are totally grateful to our parents for all their sacrifices...a phone call from my parents and we drop everything !but much more than that, there isn't so much a mindset of "me versus the kids" but rather everyone is in it together ...when kids are successful, it is "reflected glory" for the parents.....
However, i reiterate, all cultures do things differently....and funnily, my hubby and i come from such different backgrounds and i can relate to what you are asking............HOWEVER, i think he has seen the way my family works and is gradually being persuaded to come over to the dark side
Throw in Lebanese, Sri Lankans, Egyptians, Pakistanis, Koreans, Japanese, Indians Singaporeans, Thai, Taiwanese, Indian, Philippines, Indonesian, Malaysian and many many more too. And I believe this makes up 60%+ of the global population.
There's more than one way to live life and very often the globally dominant cultures (ie American-Western European) too readily assumes everybody has the same values and ways of life.
There's more than one way to live life and very often the globally dominant cultures (ie American-Western European) too readily assumes everybody has the same values and ways of life.
The Greek and Chinese communities I have seen work this way and it seems to work.
Providing the dynamics that make it work don't change too much - poverty V affluence, no safety net like welfare/relying on family v not needing to rely on family except for extras, helping each other v one generation giving to the other only, etc.
As a person of Greek, Macedonian (Yugoslavia) background I've seen this work well but I've seen some pretty decent cracks form too, that are not always that obvious to others.
Many family members and friends have noticed a negative shift in Greece too, where giving has gone from helping in everyway they can to advance a persons quality of life from the basics, to providing to satisfy their wants well into adulthood.
So far I've grabbed bits from both worlds.
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Very true DB
The western world really is so egotistical and judgemental about anything or anyone who does not do something the way the west do it.
So many situations are held up for ridicule or sneered at simply because westerners do it differently.
Talk about pc police, I watch a lot of documentaries and the condescending tones of the narrators really are a pain in the "donkey"
It aint just westerners...
SO true, prejudice and racism exists everywhere in individuals in every culture. And yet, so does wisdom. Wisdom raises people up - prejudice and judgement drags communities down. Individuals need to better themselves rather than criticise others - and whack each other with broomsticks.
I'd better be very careful what I post now.
Very true. Everybody has their prejudice.
I've come to accept that's just life, so it's probably hypocritical of me to be complaining about it. Then again, I am judgmental and prejudicial like all here.
I've come to accept that's just life, so it's probably hypocritical of me to be complaining about it. Then again, I am judgmental and prejudicial like all here.
Agree, V8, my gripe is the holier than thou attitude of some journos, social commentators and bleeding hearts but I know that the chinese don't have a very high opinion of "long noses"
Our Chinese friends call us "White eyes".
I still don't think my question was judgemental or out of line ... now that the WHOLE situation has been explained I think it wonderful.
My concern is that, in this rapidly changing world, the 15-20 years between helping the kids thru uni and parents retiring is a long time in which some radical changes in attitudes, and workforce mobility, can occur.
Only have to look at the current Italian and Greek situations where the children are beginning to resent the elders for endorsing a system that basically ensures they remain unemployed in their own countries ... and caring for elderly parents from the other side of the world won't be easy either. It's not like they can move in with you as happened a generation ago if they are in China, and you are in the UK (or similar).
Although - I do really repect the caring for parents, and our next house (which we are building) is designed with a self contained large bedsit (tv area, ensuite, kitchenette etc) for my father in law when he can no longer stay on his own.
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What's "long noses" and "white eyes"? You sure your friends aren't Martians?
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