i can understand the husband pov totally. good on your friend for being able to save, but the way she went about it was wrong.
his anger has nothing to do with the money itself - it's because she kept a big secret from him, that she was making major plans without him and she had dreams and ambitions that she felt she couldn't share with him. i can imagine that he feels like she has betrayed his ability to trust her.
the feeling wouldn't have to come from saving money at all, or the purpose of that savings - i imagine it would be the same if he found out she was going to some group meeting every week that she had never told him about or lending something to value to a friend without consulting ... it was all about the trust.
i am sorry if i sound harsh - but how would she have felt if the shoe was on the other foot ... discovered by accident that he had a "secret" saving account so he could buy an expensive boat while she went without something she wanted.
ww also made a very good point about the balance of the relationship ... if he does not see your friend as being an equal partner then that is something she will have to work out - and it has nothing to do with money.
Totally agree!!!
It was said earlier that he is working 60-70 hr weeks as well! What if he thought he needed to work such long hours & wanted to cut back, and decided not to because he didn't want to put the family under financial stress???
Yeah, I think I would be asking some fairly fundamental 'trust issues' questions...
As a friend, Iwould only become passively involved by only providing a shoulder and an ear. 3 way relationships simply don't work!