How much Board do your kids pay?

[willair]

What do you guys think and what do your kids pay?

We have 3 daughters still at home one in the final year at school,and 2 at uni they don't pay board in money terms, but every now and again they bring something home so it works out well, i would rather them use any spare funds they have to add too their small ASXshare set-ups, but they understand the value of money one was going to move out and after we sat down all of us worked out the total costs to set up a unit,she just had a blank look on her face and said ,i'n not going anywhere ..willair..

 

[wylie]

Interestingly, we have never done "everything" for the boys. However, I am a stay at home mum, so doing the washing for the family kind of comes with the territory. They have been ironing their own school uniforms from 13, so I certainly don't do too much for them.

I certainly don't produce a "fine meal" every night. They know how to find things in the cupboard and fridge, but one is too lazy to do that and will chose a choc bikky every time (20 year old), so teaching a man to fish doesn't always work either.

And as I have said, they have done way more than most kids regarding pitching in with paintbrush in hand, or carting pavers, etc. So I don't want anybody to think we have pandered to "our little darlings".

Having said that, once they hit those teenage years, it all changes yet again. The 20 year old is lazy now, but has helped us tear down walls, and rebuild bathrooms, tile, paint etc all his life. My boys have grown up with a hammer in one hand and a crow bar in the other.

I suppose getting the washing done is really for "me". If I do it, it is not sitting around in a stinking pile waiting for them to run out of clothes and then have a mad scramble to fight for the machine. The older boys now have their own washing baskets in their rooms, so it sits there as long as they can stand it. They bring it out, and I do it, and in return I expect them to do things around the house, which mostly they do without too much grumbling.

I am trying my best to raise boys who know how to use all the "fun" appliances (stove, oven, microwave, washing machine, broom, mop) but sometimes it is harder said than done.

And don't be fooled by a helpful seven year old Marc . I had three of those, and two of them have turned to the dark side once they hit puberty . Just when you think you have your kids worked out, they change the rules on you. I have learned to be flexible.

I remember very well asking his grade two teacher why my perfectly placid, pleasant eight year old had started being a monster to his younger brothers. She said I was the ninth parent to ask this question in her class, and all were mothers of boys. I remember really well thinking, this cannot be my little sweet angel. How quickly I learned .

I don't mean to sound smug, but don't think you have seen anything yet .

 

[BoatBoy]

He has one household chore which often gets "forgotten" and refuses to pay board.

Then the other day he told us most of his friends parents help their kids by giving them the deposit for there own place.

.

Outrageous

I earned my own spend money working the boats and a fish and chip shop while at school, payed almost half of my pay in board when I started to work, and cooked and did some chores and after 6 mths moved out into a share house and stood on my own 2 feet.
That was at about 16 and a half YOA.



Dave

 

[Cherry Pro]

Our 19 y.o. who's at second year at Uni and gets paid approx $350 per fortnight does not pay board or buy anything towards the house at all. I pay for his travel to uni as well.

In Jan 2008 before managed funds began their downward slide, he withdrew $4200 from his Colonial Fund and bought us this 46" Sony TV, I'm really not a TV fan but must say, watching things on this big screen has given me immense pleasure.

Infact the other day, his brother was kidding him about his jeans and he turned around and said "Mum bought me this colour and I don't even like it" ...hello, I said, which 19 yo has their mum buy them their clothes !!

But he chips in with work around the house (vaccuuming and bringing clothes in from the line) and I've been getting him to cook a dish every week, and he's a good cook and makes the best Portuguese tarts in the world ! He has a good work ethic (thinks he was born to be an executive and will not help with cleaning bathrooms or putting out bins). But he is quite thrifty and good with his money, so can't complain.

On the other hand, our 16 yo, doing HSC and works part-time at Woolies, spends a fair bit on junk food and going out with his friends, will occasionally buy his stuff from Woolies and never ask me to pay him back. He's our boy who can do everything "help dad with working in the garden/bathrooms, help mum, help his sister". Think middle children are always very pleasing.

Both of them have little share portfolios going as well and can't beleive how different both of them are. When I get the water bill (sometimes over $500 per quarter), I tell them and take $50 each from their accounts. Have possibly done this only once.

Anyway, this thread on charging board has set me thinking ..thanks for getting this started, Sparky.

 

[lizzie]

the easiest way is to use logic rather than just pick a figure out of the air.

when we moved for job transfer hubby's three adult kids went to live with their mother full time. naturally (for her) she demanded that we pay her compensation and plucked an outrageous figure out of the air ... so i sat down and worked out exactly how much extra it cost to support the kids, sent her the calculation and said that that is how much we would pay.

i refused to pay towards anything that would normally be required in the house whether the kids were there or not - internet, foxtel, insurance, lawnmowing, dog wash, renovations, mortgage etc - so i only included the items the kids would directly affect ... electricity, water and groceries.

i took the last 8 grocery bills (weekly shopping) and worked out an average to get a fair picture, and took the last two water/electricity bills and did the same. i then calculated that having 3 of us full time and 3 half time in the house worked out at 4.5 persons full time - so divided the averaged bill by 4.5 and came up with what it costs per person to be in the house.

so, if you have the kids there full time then you would divide the averaged bills by the total number of people.

ours worked out around $60/wk per person per week - and because we would normally only have the kids half time we pay $30/wk per child to her, plus hubby choose to pay an extra $30/per child to cover their extensive printing, stationary and computer use for uni.

if you do the calculations, show them how much it does actually cost for them to be there - then you may find it more successfull than just demanding an unsubstantiated figure.

good luck.

p.s. i paid a flat 20% of my wages as board to my parents. would've learnt a lot more if i'd been "shown" how much it cost.

 

[softmonkey]

As most have said, "KEEP IT REAL".

Charge 80-100% of what it would cost them in the real world. This:

- teaches them to budget fast
- stops them splurging on finance payments that become unsustainable when circumstances change
- encourages them to accelerate their career so they can earn and spend more

Keep some/all of it in trust for their deposit but don't keep it secret, tell them so they have incentive to stay home. Eg. "yes you pay $x, but I am keeping $y for your deposit, so you are really no worse off than your friends". Be firm and don't let them pay you last! Set up auto bank transfers.

 

[sparky23]

I must say that I have to agree that 'little' kids can be so much more helpful and that things change once they hit the teens.

His brother is 18 and far more helpful and will do most jobs I ask him to do, but as he also has no job and centrelink won't pay him anything as we allegedly earn too much there are small financial incentives. However he is such a different personality that he would be helping me anyway.

Anyway I have decided to stick with the $60 to be reviewed in 3 months and he seems quite happy with that which is something of a win considering what he sees his friends getting away with.

His friend that lives with us just recently got the increase from $75 to $80 and wasn't happy so thought he might want to move out. He came home from work the other day and said a friend had asked him to house share, his share of the rent would be $120 and by the time he had sat down and worked a few things out such as food, electricity, water, broadband etc he seems to have had a change of heart. He also went against our advice recently and got himself a massive car loan to buy a brand new Mazda 3 which he is now paying $160 per week for, absolutely ridiculous but he also has to have the latest technology so is still paying for mobile phones on his plan which he no longer has as he had to trade up to an iphone, he has a plasma in his bedroom, latest apple mac notebook etc. Can't see how he will ever be able to leave home either at this rate.

They don't seem to get the concept that when most people grow up and leave home they don't have several hundred dollars a week of play money left over after paying their way and that it takes all of their wage to survive.

 

[peastman]

We had it tough when we were young

A monty python sketch comes to mind
http://www.phespirit.info/montypython/four_yorkshiremen.htm

 

[vbplease]

I dont get this whole "paying board" thing at all.
I never paid board or rent.
When there was expenses, we all contributed (more or less)and we paid them.
When bills needed paying, we paid them.
When interest rates were high, we paid them too.
When work needed doing, we did it.
Sometimes there was nothing left, other times only small bills to pay.
And yes, of course I got more than what I gave.
What we had we chipped in. Sometimes more sometimes less, but it was never someone else's responsibility to pay bills, it was everybody's.

What you people are doing is making them live in an artificially contrived world that just doesn't resemble anything that will be encountered in the outside world.
It's no so surprising that many cant handle it.

Good point.

Making a 20yr old pick up the phone and pay a bill from his/her own bank account is a lot different to paying say $50/wk to mum and dad.. physicaly paying a bill or going to the shops and paying for a food shop out of their own money should be a good wake up call.

 

[sparky23]

A monty python sketch comes to mind
http://www.phespirit.info/montypython/four_yorkshiremen.htm

One of my all time favourites along with the 'Dead Parrot' sketch but here is a better way to enjoy it - especially you young 'uns who may not have had the pleasure yet!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

 

[craigb]

The idea of some board , say $80 is good and if $50 of this can be saved by you then eventually there is a nice little bond and no excuse not to move out.

although we should mention that with no board or lodgings ever being pain may end up spent on gambling, fast cars, party drugs, excessive alcohole consumption, etc and trimming hem/her of their financial oppertunity may reduce the chances of somthing worse to come.

sorry in advance for the spells, it was all of those party drugs, and dreinking games im sure!

 

[BoatBoy]

A monty python sketch comes to mind
http://www.phespirit.info/montypython/four_yorkshiremen.htm

I don't think I had it tough at all.
I consider I had it fairly easy compared to previous generations.

Maybe the opinions and excesses of the last 10 years will be washed away by this GFC and and a dose of reality will be dished up to them.

Who will survive the best do you think?
Those that had it laid on and have only been shown the good times or those that were kicked out of the nest early and have had to earn it?

Dave

 

[kathryn d]

My children never paid board.
When they finished school, they were required to move out and get their own apartment.
It's funny to see how frugal they can be.

I left home at 17, and loved it.

 

[weg]

'The Nest' an SBS Series is a must see. They look at real life situations of a group of young adults living at home and conduct an experiment where they are made to move out and fend for themselves (they later bring them back home to see how they cope with that too). It's very interesting and will have you packing their bags in no time .

 

[sparky23]

Yes that was a good series.

I have also been enjoying the 'Baby Borrowers' which takes young teen couples who think they are ready for parenthood and places them in a house per couple, they firstly have one of those annoying 'real' baby dolls to take care of for a few nights and this is then followed up with a real baby, toddler, slightly older child and last episode they actually had teenagers to care for!

What an eye opener its been for them all!

 

[sparky23]

Outrageous

I earned my own spend money working the boats and a fish and chip shop while at school, payed almost half of my pay in board when I started to work, and cooked and did some chores and after 6 mths moved out into a share house and stood on my own 2 feet.
That was at about 16 and a half YOA.



Dave

I started work at a newsagency at 15 whilst still at school and left home at 18 after leaving school as I was having trouble finding a job, so I got into a lot of fights with Mum which culminated in me just walking out one day.

It was quite funny looking back as I had packed all my worldly goods into a couple of plastic shopping bags as I wasn't allowed to borrow a suitcase then I walked down the street and caught the bus to the house of my new boyfriend of about 6 weeks and just moved in with him and his Mum and brother, there is a whole book waiting to be written about that experience!

Everything from brother dying from heroin overdoses every five minutes (people kept reviving him) to the fact that his Dad didn't live there as he had come out of the closet after 26 years of marriage and 3 children and set up shop with his boyfriend!

 

[fokas]

I have never heard of anyone when I was growing up, or now, whose children chip in for the household bills, or help with interest rates.

Haha...where have you been living??
It's much more common than you think (not for 13year olds mind you...more like 17+).

 

[wylie]

Well I would love to hear from others on here if they have ever asked their teenagers to chip in to help pay the rates or the electricity. I seriously have NEVER ever heard of this happening with anybody I know or anybody I grew up with. Have I been living under a rock?

I did pay board once I started work at age 16 and if my oldest was working and not at uni, he would also be paying considerably more.

 

[rugrat]

I never had to pay board, but I moved out to go to uni after I finished school and supported myself (18yrs). When I lived at home I attended school and had a after school job, but I saved most of the money from work so that I could get myself established when I did finish school.

I have two siblings who stayed at home after finishing school - both were required to pay board ($100/wk). And pay for all of their own expenses that weren't house related, ie textbooks, uni fees, etc.

 

[Sheryn]

Our kids had to pay $25 a week board whilst in high school and working at Woolworths part time.

Once they left school board was increased to $50 a week and they had to save half of their pay via direct debit into a separate account which I set up for them and I checked this online periodically.

If the kids did not save half their wage they had been told board would increase.

They did their own washing, ironing, sewing and had to cook tea one night a week as soon as they started high school.

FAST Forward

• 28 year old son in his own brand new 4 x 2 x 2 house and
• 26 years old daughter in her brand new 3 x1 x 2 duplex.
  
  Both put down 20% deposit....
  
  Were their fights - oh yeah, but tough won out
  
  
  FYI
  
  My 58 year old elder brother still lives at home with Mum and Dad he has no property, pays board contributes to bills.
  
  My 43 year old brother and wife + 2 kids rent. When he lived at home he paid board and borrowed the board money back by the end of each week.
  

Regards
Sheryn