Limiting Beliefs about the property journey

[MsAli]

Hi all,

Just thought of this topic...Limiting beliefs we have about property/prosperity and how you think one can look at it from a different perspective. I will start with mine...

I'm 26 and have 2 IP's in Sydney's West now (and four in total between me and my twiney). I got into property around 23 and bought my first one at 24. Just to give a background I moved to Australia at 15 with my family from South Asia. All I had then was education that could take me forward. Dealing with challenges of being in a new culture and the fact that I met a lot of people who had been in Australia for many years and were financially well settled (or so it seemed at the time) I knew I had to be heads down and tails up and it's been quite a journey for the past 11 years and 9 months!

I have a long way to go and one of the biggest challenges I have is I end up comparing myself to others' especially those who have years and years more experience than I have. I also compare myself to those who are my age and have done AWESOME. I take inspiration but I want to be THERE too. I haven't worked out a way to deal with this. I find that being on the SS community you are bound to meet some of Australia's most successful investors (or at least I see it that way) but I also know that SS is not a representation of the whole Australian population.

Another challenge I have is dealing with tradies. I'm learning...I've been burnt before and have become a BIG fan of going with the gut feel whenever I give a tradie a job and A MUST is taking an invoice! Still building our network of tradies...but it has come at a FEW poor experiences...

Thirdly I feel that I'm running out of time. I know the purpose of life is not to lean back but to keep moving forward....but feel jeez we (me and my sis) are already 26 and have SO MUCH to do!! We have big dreams...we don't want to live small but also feel a lot of we are doing now should have been done yesterday. But I was working towards where I am now -> yesterday, the day before yesterday, the week before yesterday, the month, the year, the decade before yesterday. I believe everything in life starts off as a vision. When I was 7 I didn't know I was ever going to move to Australia. BUT we had happened to have received a souvenir of the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge from family friends who came to visit family in Sydney; And then I had this vision of one day living in Australia. Followed by my mum having to go searching for a book with pictures of houses for a year 2 assignment I had at school and she couldn't find any for days till she found one - The Home World Magazine. I had that magazine till before I moved to Australia and I have vivid memories of waking up early mornings and going through the magazine page by page, dreaming, I want a home like this....neither did I know that it was an Aussie magazine. So basically I don't think I have wasted this opportunity of being here and having the best of what life can offer...Yet, have the urge to be THERE already. Understand the journey needs to be enjoyed - though it's difficult sometimes

Last but not the least...I have a fear of losing it all....something I'm working on to change.

Also, this isn't an exhaustive list. I may add to it later.

I'd be keen to hear your views on this. As well as would like to hear your limiting beliefs and how you challenge them?

Look forward to hearing

MsAli

 

[pennyk]

over the years, I've struggled with depression. The root cause of the depression was the way I thought.. negative and limiting self talk.

I really fought hard to take each repeating thought pattern and turn it around.. to see the effect it was having and to replace it with something believable, but positive (or at least neutral). I saw a psychologist to review it all, using cognitive behaviour therapy. But alot of it was just hard work, constantly being aware of my thoughts and shifting them when I felt I was beginning to fall into the black hole.

I have found this foundational in changing the way I think about myself, what I do, my future, my past etc. Its certainly not easy, but it is very effective.

eg instead of saying "what if I lose all of this, it will be a disaster", you could replace the thought with "its unlikely that I will lose this, but even if I do, I could start over again. It would be difficult, but not devastating."

There are lots of books which outline this type of approach. Its not "positive thinking"... or you could try seeing a psychologist or counsellor. you dont necessarily have to be in a dark place to find some counselling helpful.. in fact its probably most useful when you are strong enough to be able to put these things into practice more easily.

 

[EsplanFreedom]

You're doing very well already but I understand that you want everything yesterday because I am this way also. You really can't compare yourself with others, as some people are luckier than others. I find it helps to immediately switch your thoughts and actions to your own life plan when you start to compare yourself with others. I read somewhere to "Focus on your own economy".

Also, if you haven't already write down your goals and think about them regularly. This imprints them into your subconscious mind and hopefully you will achieve them. Good luck!

 

[BayView]

Hi all,

Just thought of this topic...Limiting beliefs we have about property/prosperity and how you think one can look at it from a different perspective. I will start with mine...

I'm 26 and have 2 IP's in Sydney's West now (and four in total between me and my twiney). I got into property around 23 and bought my first one at 24.

MsAli

I didn't buy my first property until I was 25, and I'd wager that most people that age are pretty much the same..

By that yardstick you are already a roaring success.

So you can stop worrying because you are way above the average.

Owning lots of houses doesn't make you a success.

For example; one of my best friends is doing very well in his career. He only owns two houses - PPoR and a holiday house (which he is trying to sell, currently).

Instead; he has focused his life on his career, his business and living a good lifestyle with his family that many would envy, has a good circle of friends and is very generous...he is an asset to the planet.

He is what I see as a great success.

 

[matto_]

The first part of the journey is the hardest, both from confidence and also speed within which things happen.

26 and two props. That is awesome.

But more importantly, you are reading researching and also building your network of people.

Always good to compare to others, but no point letting that get you down. Use that as inspiration.

 

[Andrew_A]

Never a better time to start something than today, at 26 you are objectively still young in my opinion so try not to waste time worrying about time running out!

Success is about how you define your lifestyle rather than dollars in the bank, the dollars just fuel your goals.

 

[Propertunity]

.....one of the biggest challenges I have is I end up comparing myself to others' especially those who have years and years more experience than I have. I also compare myself to those who are my age and have done AWESOME.

There is a biblical quote from 2Corinthians 10:12 which I like when looking at the "comparison thing".

....but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.”

So I take it from that, that I should not compare myself to any others. I am who I am and they are who they are, and we must all achieve what we are here for. Anything apart from that is "unwise".

That's one of the reasons that, these days, I am very hesitant to tell people how many IPs I have. If I have 10, for example, why would you be happy with 80% of what I have, if you were supposed to have 50?

I take inspiration but I want to be THERE too.

This is a good thing. We can all take inspiration that causes us to become bigger than where we are right now.

Another challenge I have is dealing with tradies.

I think even the older more experienced amongst us, still suffer from that challenge!! It never goes away.

We have big dreams...we don't want to live small .....

I'd like to quote you a few lines from a book written by Peter Spann some years ago, that still brings a tear....

No matter what happens in my life, from here on in I know that I am one of the lucky ones – I realized that I deserved wealth and went and found my way of achieving it.

And if you don’t deserve to be wealthy, I don’t know who does. Everybody deserves wealth. It unlocks the doors to so many opportunities, so many freedoms and frees us from so many worries.

(If wealth were hard to get I would understand why people didn’t go after it, but the strategies I have presented to you are as easy as they are sound. And if you have made it this far, you are better than 90% of people who buy books and never finish them.)

So many people wait until they are at the end of their lives to do what they love.

Take this opportunity to see yourself for what you are: a high performance machine that is capable of amazing feats.

Most people are living far below their potential just because they are afraid of being unique, afraid of standing out from the crowd.

“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure about you.”

I suggest that it is time for you to take up the challenge. I suggest that it is time for you to find your dream and live it. I suggest it is time for you to become the person you know you deserve to be, for yourself, for those you love and for the fullest potential of the Universe.

The strongest message that I have is: “If I can do it, so can you.”

How ridiculous it was for me as a check-out operator to imagine the type of life I have today? Yet I dared to dream, I dared to take action and I persisted. I didn’t give up when things got tough, as they inevitably will.

Most important of all, when people told me that my dreams were ridiculous, I didn’t listen to them. I already knew my dreams were ridiculous – what I needed were people who were prepared to help them come true.

Peter Spann, from his book Wealth Magic published 2001

Last but not the least...I have a fear of losing it all....something I'm working on to change.

I used to be the same BUT I now know what I know. Its all in my head and my heart. If I lost it all tomorrow, I know more than enough to get it all back (and more) and probably, NO definitely, a lot faster.

 

[tess85]

Great topic! MsAli, we have heaps in common (Actually I have read quite a lot of your threads but have been busy with bub and post a lot less nowadays). I'm 26 too and when I compare myself to, say, Nathan, I feel like I haven't achieved too much. I see people on here keep saying that 26 is young, well I feel ancient (maybe because I have had 19 months of sleep deprivation...!) So I kind of know what you mean when you feel like you are running out of time.

I absolutely agree with the above quotes re: comparison though. I have to stop thinking about what others have achieved and focus on what I can achieve.

My limiting belief to do with property is that "I can't do renos" or "I won't buy any property that needs work". I don't think I know how to use a hammer and nail...! Or paint for that matter. I have struggled with depression over the years and that negative self-talk keeps creeping back. It's a daily battle to fight my limiting beliefs.

My other limiting factors come from my family thinking that property is a terrible investment - they don't have IPs. And they think I am getting in way over my head, with a young family and all. So now I have stopped telling them how many IPs we have!

MsAli, I think you are to be commended for what you have done so far, and that realising the scale of your achievements to date will spur you onto even greater things

 

[virgo]

Mindset

Hiya MsAli

I commend you for starting your IP at such a young age; you are doing way better than a lot of your people your age...welldone

I find Jim Rohn's quotes very helpful whenever i find my mindset swayed by people i have learnt to call "dream stealers".

I grew up with loving parents but they were too protective; they did not know better as they were conditioned that way themselves by their own parents...i was always interested in property as a young girl but unknowingly was gently discouraged by people around me; first my parents, my relatives ,later on my hubby and quite recently (and amusingly) my church friends

I learned now whenever i hear negative comments which may impact my mindset to look at that person and discern whether he is a successful property investor; if yes, i pause and listen..if no, i nod sagely and let it run over me...

Some of Jim Rohn's quotes i want to share with you are:

1) If you do not want to risk the unusual, you would have to settle for the ordinary..

2) If you want to soar like the eagles, do not surround yourself with turkeys (this is one of my favourites ha ha)

3)Commit yourself to something bigger than yourself...

And Propertunity, re church quotes, how did you look the parable of the father who left some gold to his 3 sons....i use that whenever a church friend say we should not be greedy....

have a lovely day!

 

[devank]

I read somewhere that, in Australia, anyone on social benefit is already a rich person compared to the whole world population.

Trust me, your personal struggle is nothing compared to the people come (or escape) from war torn parts of world. It is nothing compared to the people who were forced to live on streets here. Many people built their lives from those situations. You seemed to have good education, good job, good family, good financial sense and good mind set. You are already way ahead of most people! Be glad and thankful.

Diversification may be an answer to the fear of losing all. Diversification doesn’t have to be investing in different state or going into shares. Even though I could have added two more IPs I decided to spend my money on all heap of insurances, health related activities and increasing a buffer.

Personally, I don’t think being rich is what makes a person successful. I’m 10 years older than you and have only 3 IPs. Still I consider myself as successful (and happy) simply because I have a beautiful family, good circle of friends, satisfying job with decent income, decent health and financially stable life style.

Just remember, not all highly successful investors are happy with their lives. It is just that we can’t see their problems.

BTW I like your thought provoking posts

 

[sanj]

My limiting belief to do with property is that "I can't do renos" or "I won't buy any property that needs work". I don't think I know how to use a hammer and nail...! Or paint for that matter.

i will comment on the rest of the OP in further detail later but just wanted to quickly say that not being handy doesnt have to be a complete impediment to the above imo

im complete useless with DIY, there would honestly be drunk, one armed OAPs who are better at DIY than i am but ive done renos, subdivisions, developments etc.

 

[TEG]

Last but not the least...I have a fear of losing it all....something I'm working on to change.

i have been thinking about this a lot recently. The best idea i have come up with is to start quietly buying Gold and stashing it away in a safe, and not telling anyone.

This will give you a bit of reserves if you do happen to ¨lose it all¨ (i.e if you lose your properties or in case of devaluation of the dollar, divorce, etc.

I am doing it so that if I do get married in the future, to protect myself from greedy lawyers or ex-wife in case of divorce. Can´t rely on pre-nup agreement. Would rather have a bit of gold locked away, in case all my other assets get taken away. At least that way, if i do have to ´start over´ I will at least have something to fall back on.

 

[MsAli]

Hi all!
Thank you for your responses

@Penny...thank you for sharing about your life.

I like the idea of challenging thoughts. Though I personally don't believe in cognitive behaviour therapy. I have read psychology extensively over the past 5 years. I've been on a self development and spiritual journey over this time and I have found that often depression/anxiety/emotions tend to be a result of unprocessed feelings from childhood. Totally agree that this stuff is not shifted by positive thinking...I believe it is possible to heal and shift old beliefs. I am definitely going to challenge my old beliefs that have surfaced and no longer serve me!

@Esplan - Agree, everybody has their own life experiences and I must not judge myself against somebody elses. I believe Kiyosaki talks about everybody having their own economies...I have my goals written. I believe I just need to print them out. At the moment they are more in numbers and what I want in terms of passive income. I am yet to declare more visions I guess. Time to do a vision board!!

@BayView - thank you. Totally agree. I'm not sure what success exactly looks like. However I'd imagine, success is in not only finances but also in a healthy and balanced family and social life. Something to aspire to!

@Matto - thanks. Good to hear that the first part of the journey is the hardest. Totally using it all as an inspiration!

@Andrew - Agreed. Want life to just flow...the visions, dreams...and not be so hard as it seems right now. Though Matto is right...initial steps are always hard. It's not even meant to be that hard because both my sis and I are on high incomes (and don't live at home)...It's just about diligently we save up and keep moving forward. The plan is to buy at least two IP's between us by mid next year and ideally another two by the end of next year...Can't wait, yet don't want to wish time away!

@Alan - Yup...comparing with my own best is the key. Though often I find you have no control over the subconscious other than to work on reprogramming it - been a work in progress! We can never win from tradies. In these more than 2.5 years we only have found a decent electrician and a tiler (the tiler didn't really score the 100% when he wouldn't do the job at our aunty's place - which was a bigger job...but we may use him again as he's been good to us). Thanks for quoting the book, will be on my list to read . Very interesting view that you will build it faster if you lost it all. I know that possessions don't define us and losing them mustn't mean we lose our "self-worth". I guess this is another subconscious belief to shift!

@Tess - Wow another 26 YO. Tess, I've read a few posts of yours especially one in the "Young Ones" thread. Congratulatioons on your success!! I can relate to your reno's belief! Our first few renos have been small but will be nice to venture into doing slightly bigger renos. Though I also understand such a property needs to be bought at it's fair market value. In Sydney's West I found a whole lot of unrealistic vendors who wanted high prices even with lots of reno required to the houses. So I went for a villa needing no work, area with decent tenants...set and forget purchase - especially since the reductions in the rates. Interesting about your family. My mum is so encouraging of us! She goes to almost every open home we go to! She gives her opinion and analysis. I'm realising how blessed I am to have someone from my family take part in it - besides my sis. However on the other hand my grandfather who is back home who every time we buy suggests....just make a quick profit and get out of it . He doesn't realise the costs that are involved here in Australia and the hardwork it went in finding the right purchase(s)! While one of my aunt's there...asked me if I bought it on a "loan with installments"...and then said she would never do that. People tend to think that it's something to be ashamed of if you need a loan to buy a property...

As for Nathan - yep he has inspired us A LOT. At the same time I can't get myself to follow his strategy of buying anywhere and everywhere? May be once I have at least 5 in metro then I may shift to the "cashflow" strategy. And I guess I want to capitalise it in Sydney while I can and while the yields are still there. I'd been thinking about Nathan's strategy....though why don't most people do it then? i.e. just buy regional...anywhere...just for cash flow? Perhaps he has enough CG properties to give leverage for regional purchases? Views? Comments? I know AlmostBob and Kathryn have replicated this strategy but this is in Canada in a town with both +ve cashflow and CG.

Thanks again !

@Virgo - Cheers Virgo. Subconcious mind seems like a theme eh ! I too now just ask if something people said empowers me or disempowers me and the sort of energy people carry and project on me. If it's disempowering, draining and I feel I'm losing energy from my system...I walk away. I decide to not do business with these people OR if I really need to deal with these people - only share what I need to. I've encouraged a few young friends to consider property...but most have come back saying they have family responsibilities...Well most people have family responsibilities...but IMHO it must not stop you from moving forward in your life. Love that eagles and turkeys quote

@Devank - I understand Everybody has their own challenges....I know I'm so much more blessed on sooo many people out there. ...True, can't read minds...I certainly don't intend to be using property to be a "gap-filler" of the soul (excuse the pun). Thanks...I love thought provoking posts too!

@Sanj, look forward to hearing your response

@TEG - Teg, I believe that what we are within, we see the world as. I think the fear (be that of losing stuff due to your own choices or due to greedy lawyers or wife) is a reflection of the inner world. I think this can apply to husbands too. What makes you think gold is protected with or without pre-nups? I personally think pre-nups are important. It's not because others are greedy, it's because I believe you ought to protect your hard work. Though I'd like to believe we attract what we believe in...Reminds me of Rixter's success puzzle...

 

[Property Meister]

damn, 26, you are an old hag,

what brand of walking stick do you use?

 

[MsAli]

damn, 26, you are an old hag,

what brand of walking stick do you use?

None. It's all in the perceptions for perceptions are one's reality.

 

[willair]

Last but not the least...I have a fear of losing it all....something I'm working on to change.

Well if you start with nothing and you end up with nothing but inbetween you had everything at least you would know how too start again,plus that fear is in everyone,just get up each and say it's going to be the best day in your life..

 

[TEG]

Hi all!
@TEG - What makes you think gold is protected with or without pre-nups? I personally think pre-nups are important.

Simple.

You keep a secret stash of gold that no one except you knows about. This way, if you do happen to divorce in the future, you aren't totally wiped out.

You can never know for sure the motivations of other people.

If the marriage does turn out happy and successfull, the locked up gold is still very usefull if you need it for an emergency for your family (i.e unexpected medical expenses, etc).

Pre-nup is useful, but it's still just a piece of paper, and you never know when the government will change the laws relating to pre-nups. You also won't know for sure if the pre-nup will stand up in a court.

 

[devank]

"
You keep a secret stash of gold that no one except you knows about."
Either I'll forget where I hid them or I won't be able to sleep peacefully

 

[TEG]

you can keep it in a safety deposit box at a bank.

 

[sash]

You are doing better than I did....I got my first place at 26......and 19 years later....I just shy of 20 IPs.

Give yourself time, presevere, and you will be smiling in 20 yrs time!