My daughter was at the receiving end of a racist attack
- Thread starter virgo
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True, but I was referring to the outward display of behavior - here in Aus; from my experience and observation.
Ignore taunt and move on
To OP.
As a bloke the answer is easy. Completely ignore the comment and move on. Then try not to spend any more time or energy dwelling on it. (Easier said than done). Do not escalate, do not provoke.
Easy one, or so i thought. So i asked the wife - the response?.good on her for being assertive and standing up for herself!!
Really !?
If some one is trying to pick i fight (and perhaps they weren't - just being abusive), being "assertive" will be all the excuse they need to respond aggressively. You have just bought yourself a fight - and for what?
It would appear that opinions as to the response options are divided down sexual lines !!
I have to say that i did think that the suggestion of seeking counselling at the police station a good one. The combination of reporting the event - and getting advice is a good idea.
I still think ignore. But then i have never been a teenage girl, so perhaps i am unqualified to advise.
To OP.
As a bloke the answer is easy. Completely ignore the comment and move on. Then try not to spend any more time or energy dwelling on it. (Easier said than done). Do not escalate, do not provoke.
Easy one, or so i thought. So i asked the wife - the response?.good on her for being assertive and standing up for herself!!
Really !?
If some one is trying to pick i fight (and perhaps they weren't - just being abusive), being "assertive" will be all the excuse they need to respond aggressively. You have just bought yourself a fight - and for what?
It would appear that opinions as to the response options are divided down sexual lines !!
I have to say that i did think that the suggestion of seeking counselling at the police station a good one. The combination of reporting the event - and getting advice is a good idea.
I still think ignore. But then i have never been a teenage girl, so perhaps i am unqualified to advise.
Shouldn't post after one too many drinks but here goes 
...
This happened a while ago.
Son was taunted over a few weeks by a boy who repeatedly called him 'ranger'. This was true because my child had complained about it to me.
Son ignored him -mostly because the child was fairly insignificant to him but also because the child lies and thought he would be the one in trouble if retailiating- until one day he'd had enough and said, "well, you're fat" - kid is significantly overweight.
Kid was up in arms over that resulting in a call from his father to us, who we found out was told nothing of the ranger calling.
The thing is this kid is half Filipino and i reckon calling him a racist name never occured to my son.
On that note another child called that same son fat but he's a bean pole, so go figure.
I think sometimes the motivation is to hurt rather than having an issue with whatever it is you're calling the person.
...This happened a while ago.
Son was taunted over a few weeks by a boy who repeatedly called him 'ranger'. This was true because my child had complained about it to me.
Son ignored him -mostly because the child was fairly insignificant to him but also because the child lies and thought he would be the one in trouble if retailiating- until one day he'd had enough and said, "well, you're fat" - kid is significantly overweight.
Kid was up in arms over that resulting in a call from his father to us, who we found out was told nothing of the ranger calling
.The thing is this kid is half Filipino and i reckon calling him a racist name never occured to my son.
On that note another child called that same son fat but he's a bean pole, so go figure.
I think sometimes the motivation is to hurt rather than having an issue with whatever it is you're calling the person.
It sounded like you were saying that educated folk in a lot of countries are racists - ie display it.
I think that many people in Australia now, especially up to 50yo with tertiary education have studied and worked with people from a lot of other countries, so there is not so much of the "they are different to us" mentality.
I have mentioned that my daughter was on the receiving end once. But this was notable jut because it did happen- it was a very unusual event, and probably prompted more by personal rivalries than anything else. She has skin just a little darker than the norm, but that has been enough for her to have had frequent racial attitudes displayed to her all over South America- where a majority of the population are dark skinned. In many cases white people are the wealthy ones- perhaps being descendants of the Spanish invaders- and dark skimmed people are regarded as inferior.
My wife was staggered to be told by a close relative, also olive skinned, that she had some well in marrying me so that she could improve the race.
I think this is very true.
There are plenty of examples of people with non-European surnames struggling to get job interviews for 'professional' jobs, no matter how educated or qualified. A few have tested the theory and Anglicised their surnames to see if they are received any differently and, voila, suddenly they're getting call backs.
The people who are hiring would never yell racial obscenities at strangers down the street. That would be unseemly and would wound their reputation.
Likewise I know many middle class types who hold the most racist beliefs. They only share these beliefs with those who are very close and who they believe will 'emphasise' with their beliefs.
The middle class are taught to keep their hate covert to protect their reputation.
yes, to what Fifth said!
This is what I mean about it being there under the surface. Some of things that I have had said to me by people who haven't seen my hubby or kids absolutely horrify me. Because I am white they assume I am "in their group".
Actually some of the things said to me by people who do know about my family horrify me too, and if you say something you get the old "I'm not racist....".
I am always amazed when friends send me emails that are racist jokes or misinformation to incite hate. Mostly, now I send a politely worded reply about why I find it offensive and to please not send that type of email to me. But it *****es me off that my own family/friends can be so racist when they profess to love my kids.
What worries me the most though, is I wonder if this is why so many "good" people in Germany stood by and did nothing in WW2? Did they secretly believe the propaganda against the Jews? Were they really racist but hid it beneath a veneer of civility?
What would happen here? Would my friends and family protect my kids?
The funny thing is that my daughter is probably more Australian than anyone on here (unless you are indigenous) as she is 7th generation born, yet still gets told to "go back where you came from"!
And kudos to everyone as this has been the most polite discussion on racism in this forum ever!!!
This is what I mean about it being there under the surface. Some of things that I have had said to me by people who haven't seen my hubby or kids absolutely horrify me. Because I am white they assume I am "in their group".
Actually some of the things said to me by people who do know about my family horrify me too, and if you say something you get the old "I'm not racist....".
I am always amazed when friends send me emails that are racist jokes or misinformation to incite hate. Mostly, now I send a politely worded reply about why I find it offensive and to please not send that type of email to me. But it *****es me off that my own family/friends can be so racist when they profess to love my kids.
What worries me the most though, is I wonder if this is why so many "good" people in Germany stood by and did nothing in WW2? Did they secretly believe the propaganda against the Jews? Were they really racist but hid it beneath a veneer of civility?
What would happen here? Would my friends and family protect my kids?
The funny thing is that my daughter is probably more Australian than anyone on here (unless you are indigenous) as she is 7th generation born, yet still gets told to "go back where you came from"!
And kudos to everyone as this has been the most polite discussion on racism in this forum ever!!!
But, that's just a normal function of life (should be) for any level of society...
The higher end just happen to be better at controlling their emotions and actions than yer lower end skanks.
If everyone said exactly what they thought about things and incidents and so on - to anyone who upset them - there would be a lot more full jails.
Our neighbors in the holiday house two doors up are Italians, and they are pigs (not because they are Italians) - rude, loud and a nuisance to the rest of the court, but we all keep our distance and say little. Just wave and smile and hope they go away soon. Fortunately they are only there for a few days per year.
See what I mean? It could easily be misread as a racist thing; it is not. It is them as pigs of humans.
I want to tell people in my workshop to "go F@rck yourself" at least a dozen times a week because they are pains in the @rse in various ways, but I don't.
I would hazard a guess than anyone who has to work with the public for more than about 5 mins would tell you the same.
And it's not just work - it's how I am socially as well...like most other folks.
Back to racism; I reckon that most Aussies have certain races they are not too keen on for various reasons. It may be wrong, but it's how humans are. Good or bad.
But almost all that I know of can easily - and do - embrace all races and cultures if the folks are decent folks on a personal level.
That is my experience.
I think that any racist attitudes shown by Australians are at a much lower level than that in other countries. My daughter was almost excluded from a club in Mexico because they openly did not allow indigenous or mixed race people- in a country where over 90% of the population is mixed race or indigenous. If that happened in Australia it would be at the top of every tabloid tv program in the country.
Racism exists still and even in this forum. Nobody objected to an Irish joke in the jokes thread. But the scale is a whole lot less than elsewhere. It takes time for fundamental attitudes to change. In my strict Protestant upbringing I was taught that all races were equal. But it was ok not to like Catholics, and a family tragedy to marry one (as I did).
What we call racism is an order of magnitude less than in other places and declining.
Racism exists still and even in this forum. Nobody objected to an Irish joke in the jokes thread. But the scale is a whole lot less than elsewhere. It takes time for fundamental attitudes to change. In my strict Protestant upbringing I was taught that all races were equal. But it was ok not to like Catholics, and a family tragedy to marry one (as I did).
What we call racism is an order of magnitude less than in other places and declining.
Further to my last post; I actually did tell a customer to go f@rck himself figuratively the other day...
Skanky, bogan tradie, about 40 years old.
Came in, asked "How much to fix a puncture, mate?"
I said $30 (assuming we have to take the wheel off the car and put it back on as well).
He replies; "Hoh; mate, I can get it done for ten bucks over at Hastings!" (Hastings is a 20 min drive from my workshop).
I said; 'That's a great price; better go and get it done." (I was feeling quite angry to be talked to in this fashion - totally rude). But managed to stay civil.
Off he goes, and I'm thinking; "how pathetic; a 20 min drive each way for $20..hopefully he'll get another puncture on the way over there; it'll cost him that in fuel and wasted time. farckin loser!"
An hour later; he walks back in... I knew why...
I said; "How did you go with your $10 puncture?"
He said; "Couldn't be f@rked driving over there" (surprise, surprise).
I said; "Well; because you came in here being a smart @rse, mate; I'm not going to do your puncture for you; go to Hastings and get it done."
The guy was fuming, and stormed out yelling obscenities.
Yes, he will never come back, but he was never a real customer before (did a "steptoe" type nickel and dime second hand tyre swap for some old skanky trailer rim one time a few years ago, and nothing ever before or since), and no doubt will tell his other skanky bogan cheap-@rse mates of his grievance...
Some customers are not worth having.
Geez I felt good saying that to him; he absolutely deserved it.
Skanky, bogan tradie, about 40 years old.
Came in, asked "How much to fix a puncture, mate?"
I said $30 (assuming we have to take the wheel off the car and put it back on as well).
He replies; "Hoh; mate, I can get it done for ten bucks over at Hastings!" (Hastings is a 20 min drive from my workshop).
I said; 'That's a great price; better go and get it done." (I was feeling quite angry to be talked to in this fashion - totally rude). But managed to stay civil.
Off he goes, and I'm thinking; "how pathetic; a 20 min drive each way for $20..hopefully he'll get another puncture on the way over there; it'll cost him that in fuel and wasted time. farckin loser!"
An hour later; he walks back in... I knew why...
I said; "How did you go with your $10 puncture?"
He said; "Couldn't be f@rked driving over there" (surprise, surprise).
I said; "Well; because you came in here being a smart @rse, mate; I'm not going to do your puncture for you; go to Hastings and get it done."
The guy was fuming, and stormed out yelling obscenities.
Yes, he will never come back, but he was never a real customer before (did a "steptoe" type nickel and dime second hand tyre swap for some old skanky trailer rim one time a few years ago, and nothing ever before or since), and no doubt will tell his other skanky bogan cheap-@rse mates of his grievance...
Some customers are not worth having.
Geez I felt good saying that to him; he absolutely deserved it.
Can you give some of these examples. I've never seen it in more than 25 years in the workforce including a substantial amount of recruiting.
Is it prevalent in a certain industry?
So do you think they dont love your kids? Or maybe they aren't really racist?
I think some people are a bit too trigger happy to pull the racist card.
I had this happen to me a few months ago.
A man called asking about a particular rental property, he saw with "for rent" sign on.
When I told him the price, he started getting abusive, and asking rude questions.
I finally said "This place is not available to YOU. Goodbye"
First time I ever needed to say that. That felt good.
There have been many surveys over the years into hiring discrimination and all have concluded that having a non-European or non-Anglo name is a disadvantage to some extent.
A quick google search brings up these two studies. One refers to the IT industry and the other entry level jobs (e.g. data entry, sales).
http://www.theage.com.au/national/a...cist-when-its-time-to-hire-20090617-chvu.html
http://www.hcamag.com/hr-news/racism-rife-in-aussie-workplaces-121692.aspx
Just as a disclaimer, I don't believe Australia is an especially racist country and I believe Australia to be a lot less racist than many countries. Nonetheless, a certain level of racism is going to exist for a mirage of reasons.
It's also a bit of a catch 22. Many of us are guilty of racism but we can't admit it to because the disclosure itself would be considered racist and an incitation of racism, yet pretending otherwise just cloaks the racism and allows it to continue stealthily and unabated.
They don't perceive their behavior to be racist, and they don't perceive the race of my kids. Because they are my kids my family see them as white and not like "those Asians" even though my kids look Asian to everyone else. It is quite funny sometimes.
We were discussing racism with my brother and I referred to an incident with my hubby and my brother looked at him and said "but your not black". He was so used to him just being "Joan's Hubby" that he had stopped seeing the outside and just saw the man. A huge leap forward for this brother I can assure you! But he will still talk about blacks and Asians etc in the most derogatory way and can't see any connection between that and my family. Go figure.
So sure, I think they love my kids but because they see them as my kids and not part of a larger group, they are still comfortable with discriminating against the group that my kids are a part of.
I know it doesn't make sense and that is why it is so frustrating and annoying.
I know what you're referring to Joan. I deal with tradies a lot and so am very comfortable dealing with them and can be "blokey" when i need to.
Ive had some rant about bloody immigrants this and curries that TO ME and then say "but we dont mean you" or "no offence mate" or "but youre not like that" etc
funny thing is most of them have been immigrants too, usually english
doesnt bother me as ive got thicker skin than most but i can see how it would bother some people and i know what you mean about there being a bit of an undercurrent of racism with some people
Ive had some rant about bloody immigrants this and curries that TO ME and then say "but we dont mean you" or "no offence mate" or "but youre not like that" etc
funny thing is most of them have been immigrants too, usually english
doesnt bother me as ive got thicker skin than most but i can see how it would bother some people and i know what you mean about there being a bit of an undercurrent of racism with some people
