oh boh - 6yr old found on inappropriate websites!

[josko]

Hah very funny.

Lizzy, it is happening to alot of us. Don't blame yourself.

I had a very similar occurence with my 8yr old and a visiting friend. My daughter covered her eyes, and ran to tell me. When I saw what was on the screen I was so shocked I couldn't speak.

I grounded my daughter for the whole school holidays and two weeks after that. 4 weeks in total. I too, think she was so shocked she will actually think twice about allowing it again. I hope.

I am currently having major issues with my 11yr old who is a computer nut! He plays Runescape which is like an online Dungeons and dragons.

We have been arguing for two weeks now over MSN and MySpace. I have forbidden him to go on YouTube and Facebook and am still deciding on MSN. I don't think it is a problem for my son but I think it can be quite bad for Cyber-Bullying when my daughter will want to get on it. I need to set the ground rules now and what is good for one must be good for the others.

Any views on MSN and MySpace?

As our current screening software was restricting absolutely EVERYTHING even Somersoft I have removed it. I now have two lap-tops on my kitchen table constantly where I make my children play if they are on the computers.

Thanks for the tip Ozperp, I will get onto it.

Regards JO

 

[Peter 14.7]

The net is a worry but my 4 year old is off the net and I recently got from here, innocently, in a discussion, "black parents are dangerous". When asked why , she replied a girl at Childcare had told her. I said that was not true and used examples etc... She moved on.

Another she recently asked me about God and where she came from. Wife and I were honest in a 4 year old context. The God one was hard. Sex was eggs in mummy. She was interested in what colour her egg was. I think cause she has chicken who lay two colors, she made a link. Again, asked, answered moved on.

I know, personally, my mother was very open so I was allowed to rent some pretty intersting videos as a teenager boy with obvious interest. For me it meant no taboo and hence I lost fascination quickly. Same with alcohol.

Yet friends who had mega strict parents often went off the rails when 18 and free as they called it.

Any comment on this approach?

Peter

 

[HomeBuyAU]

I actually find this thread a bit disturbing and I personally think letting a small child use the Internet without full supervision is very naive. There has been plenty of awareness and media coverage of the dangers of the Internet so there is no excuse for it. Please save a few hundred dollars from your investments to invest in a consultant for your child's future. How much is your child's future worth to you, $100 for some software or whatever it costs or even better spend some money on having an IT consultant who specialises in this to visit your home.

I have been on the Internet since 1996 and believe me it is not a place for some of the hardest adults at times let a lone a small innocent child whose brains & memory's are so fragile.

The Internet is one of the most exciting and amazing techonolgies but it is also very dark and dangerous and it only takes one click.

The good thing your are trying to do something about it and that is the important thing now.

 

[Strannik]

...

Any comment on this approach?

Peter

I'm with ya. Our 12 y.o has full access to her computer/internet. The only thing she is reminded of constantly - don't talk to strangers on the net, especially when they start to ask personal details.

I also have remote access to her computer, which she's aware of, so I can login at any time and check what she's doing. This is usually used to check whether she's doing homework behind the closed door, as she claims, or looking at Hannah Montana pictures.

Same with alcohol, there are no restrictions and she's welcomed to try a sip. But she doesn't seem to have interest in it either.

 

[skater]

Same with alcohol, there are no restrictions and she's welcomed to try a sip. But she doesn't seem to have interest in it either.

I have used this approach with alcohol with both of my girls with great success. Mind you, we both rarely drink, so hopefully that helped a little towards teaching them that it is possible to have fun without it. I have always allowed both of them to try whatever I have and always spoken to the both of them about drinking sensibly.

It''s still early days, but it does look like it has worked so far. I think if it is something that is taboo, but then they have full access to at age 18, then it is more likely to be something that will be abused.

 

[Aaron Sice]

my kids are still stuck in the poo and wee and bum and fart phase.

 

[vincenzo]

I agree with many posters here in that nothing should be taboo. Children shouldn't be afraid to ask parents anything, and parents should be making an effort to explain everything to thier kids, from money to the internet.

If they want to see or know about something, i think they deserve an explanation and they should be allowed to look. At least they will be doing it with permission and will get some answers to any questions.

I don't like the idea of trying to force children to do the right thing, with measures such as net nanny, or other software or hardware restrictions. Kids are smart, and even if they couldn't figure out a way to get past the security, how are you going to stop them from using thier phone or a mates pc, etc?

For really young kids however, i dunno say around 10 or so and under, i don't think they should ever be on the internet without a parent or at least a trusted mature adult supervising them.
Similar to how young kids like this shouldn't be left out in public unsupervised! There are many public places which are safer than the internet.

 

[Project1080]

Education, communication and trust.

It all come back to the parents and their relationship with their children.

Parents needs to educate their kids, provide open communication channels and trust their kids will be responsible.

Project 1080.

The project: 10 IPs in 80 mths. (if the bank pulls their finger out and finalises my loan applications)

 

[Peter 14.7]

Well I am feeling like wife and I are doing the right thing.

We treat our 4 year old with respect and so far has received commonsense back.

For instance - we also let out daughter smell and sip wine occasionally. She does not like red and occasionally likes white. Beer is yucky. She actually prefers water. Ironically we dont allow softdrink or cordial at all.

On the stranger danger thing whilst we have only touched lightly, she must have had this grilled into her at Childcare as she is very aware and gets quite upset if someone says hello in our presence. It is little sad. We need to work on the balance bit.

FYI we also take her to adult market moves like Young Victoria recently and she loved the pretty dresses. She also enjoys Waltons ( DVD) with Daddy and we talk about the morals etc..

We dont allow free to air TV only DVDs as she got addicted to ABC kids when in Sydney recently.

Internet - she is too young.

Peter

 

[weg]

The net is a worry but my 4 year old is off the net and I recently got from here, innocently, in a discussion, "black parents are dangerous". When asked why , she replied a girl at Childcare had told her. I said that was not true and used examples etc... She moved on.

Another she recently asked me about God and where she came from. Wife and I were honest in a 4 year old context. The God one was hard. Sex was eggs in mummy. She was interested in what colour her egg was. I think cause she has chicken who lay two colors, she made a link. Again, asked, answered moved on.

I know, personally, my mother was very open so I was allowed to rent some pretty intersting videos as a teenager boy with obvious interest. For me it meant no taboo and hence I lost fascination quickly. Same with alcohol.

Yet friends who had mega strict parents often went off the rails when 18 and free as they called it.

Any comment on this approach?

Peter

I have a similar approach. Have always kept the lines of communication open and have discussed all sorts with my children.

Year 5 - "what's a pimp mum?" "now son don't go telling everyone your mum said a pimp was _____ "

Children hear snippets of half truths and see many things they'll misinterpret but if they have a reasonable understanding and experience of things that they are required to know leading them into maturity then it can only be a good thing.

I'd rather be teaching them and allowing them to tread slowly into adulthood under my supervision and guidance than have them go forward blindly.

My sons have always been allowed to have a bit of alcohol too yet it was rare for them to want to have some .

The eldest is now out at parties every weekend and likes to sleep home after these (along with his friends ) and always looks sober . Says he has no need to get drunk.

As for the internet I've found the biggest problem to be bullying (mostly msn myspace and facebook) but if the child knows they can approach you and work at undersatanding it you can often put things in perspective as did my son.

His experiences occured between the ages of 12 and 14 where he had 3 people harrass and threaten him. 2 out of the 3 were posing as others and 2 of the 3 were girls .

My 11yo goes on all those sites but I'm always looking over him and we alway discuss any inappropriate behavious we see.

 

[josko]

I actually find this thread a bit disturbing and I personally think letting a small child use the Internet without full supervision is very naive. There has been plenty of awareness and media coverage of the dangers of the Internet so there is no excuse for it. Please save a few hundred dollars from your investments to invest in a consultant for your child's future. How much is your child's future worth to you, $100 for some software or whatever it costs or even better spend some money on having an IT consultant who specialises in this to visit your home.

I have been on the Internet since 1996 and believe me it is not a place for some of the hardest adults at times let a lone a small innocent child whose brains & memory's are so fragile.

The Internet is one of the most exciting and amazing techonolgies but it is also very dark and dangerous and it only takes one click.

The good thing your are trying to do something about it and that is the important thing now.

I like your thinking monsoon, so true.

You have just made me get back onto the website Oxperp suggested to sort something out.

Education, communication and trust.

It all come back to the parents and their relationship with their children.

Parents needs to educate their kids, provide open communication channels and trust their kids will be responsible.
I have had a parent say similar things to me.

I have all of the above with both of my eldest. However, we are talking about children.

I have also had a parent say something similar about her child. She'll learn., like most of us have.

My daughter was at a friends place not so long ago. They were on YouTube -supervised and typed in the name of one of the girls from High School Musical. (Can't remember her name)

Up came a whole lot of links. One of them that apparently stood out was this girl naked.

They were told which ones they could look at by the parent, but can some of you see how a wrong click here or there could be disasterous? Regardsless of trust - children are innocent, curious little things who do not understand consequences. They can see no further than the screen infront of them.

You cannot leave it up to trust with the offchance that your daughter might click on the right "Geisha Girl" next time she does her school project on China.

I'm off to buy some software.

Regards JO

 

[Strannik]

what's wrong with them seeing naked people? they can see themselves in a mirror anytime they like

 

[jaycee]

what about hardcore porn strannik ? or paedophilia ?

nothing wrong with them stubling across that ?


my parents gave me ok boundaries too, but not all at once... at one stage I wasnt allowed to cross the road, at another I was allowed out till dark.... then till x o'clock.... etc

personally I think 6 yr olds for example need supervision when on the internet.

 

[Strannik]

6 year olds probably shouldn't use internet at all

as far as the rest goes - chances of kids stumbling upon hardcore porn without actually looking for it (especially pedophilia) are very slim