Saw a straight-to-DVD movie last week called Adrift about a bunch of people who are on a yacht and go for a swim but forget to lower the ladder so they can't get back on. Very much like the "I shouldn't be alive" series and apparently based on a true story. It was corny, but showed how dumb Americans can be...
Adrift - the Review.
Let's get to what's good about this movie.
OK. That was the good part about the movie. Now let's get to what was bad.
First, this movie lacks depth, character growth and pacing. It would have already been much better, had these things been present in the movie. But they are not. On the contrary, it's almost as if the director wanted to make the worst movie of the year. Scenes are drawn out like you wouldn't believe. Sometimes the movie goes into slow motion. Taking into account the awful pace of this flick, it's as if the movie just comes to complete halts at these points. It's like you're watching a computer game at 10 frames per second.
The characters are ridiculous and make the worst decisions one could make. Leaving the boat without having a way to get back on it? OK, that's stupid but not a bad or unbelievable way to start a movie per sé. It's the way the characters go about the things they do and the awful dialogues are presented to the viewer that makes this movie horrific. Especially look out for things like "We need to get him to a hospital as soon as possible!" and the prayer the stereotype dumb blonde chick says. It's just... so dead wrong.
It's the way the annoying baby is constantly screaming while the point has long been made. It's the way they lose what little equipment they have. So incredibly silly and foolish you wouldn't believe.
What furthermore kills this movie, is how the characters aren't interesting. They are boring, and some are downright annoying. The way they deal with the situation they're in, just has to be a joke.
Also, the way they are supposed to struggle with the water and the fact of being lost is totally, well, lost on the viewer. The director tried to make this work by having the idiots say stuff like "Ooah I can't feel my legs anymore" and ... Well that's basically all the director uses to compensate for lack of involvement and drama. Just "Ooah, I can't feel my legs/feet/arms/(insert whatever suits you)".
And then, the camera zooms out. Shot of the boat. The camera zooms in. "Oah, I can't feel my legs anymore". The camera zooms out. Minutes later. The camera zooms in again. "This is all your fault" - some guy dies in some kind of silly way. Camera zooms out again. And in. Etc.
Damn what a bad movie. It's not even fun to watch how bad it is. Good horror B movies are fun for the crappiness factor. This movie is just a 100% piece of junk.