SO Fustrating!

[Giulio Taranto]

Why is it that when i speak to people about property investing the all tell me the same thing.
"why do you want so much" "your going to have kids soon" "dont bite off more than you can chew" "concentrate on making a family" "why cant you be happy the way you are"

These are the comments that really make my blood boil. I already suffer from analysis paralysis, and then to hear all this really puts me on my butt back to square one.

Does anyone else get this sort of feedback when talking to others about property investing ? Im sure im not the only one.

just having one of those days

 

[skater]

Giulio, most of your family & friends won't understand the urge you have to invest. You are different! Embrace that difference & enjoy the journey. Come here to ask questions & get advice, as there are many successfull investors here willing to lend a hand. When you are a little more successful than you currently are, you may find that some of your family & friends will ask how you did it & follow suit.

At the moment they probably believe that to have more than they have is just a pipe dream, & they are trying to save you from getting hurt. Remember, if you don't try, you won't succeed.

When myself & Hubby first started, we were enthusiastic & told everyone what we were doing. It soon became obvious that none of our friends or rellies were interested. We were told we were "greedy. You'll end up bankrupt. How many houses do you need. etc."

Today, we don't mention our interests unless asked, & then it is only specific to the question. However, a few of them have now followed suit & have (tentatively) purchased an investment.

 

[Brenda Irwin]

Ditto Skater, well said.

 

[WillG]

Hi Giulio,

There are a lot of stories in the Jan Somers book 'Building Wealth Story by Story'. In particular, there is a story about an immigrant family. The father is keen on investing, but the rest of the family isn't. They were always urging him to sell an IP to pay for a wedding, upgrade house, pay for University etc. He always did exactly what they didn't want and ended up with a lot of 'average' ip's & receiving a comfortable income. After 20 years or so, the family realised the wealth he had built.

I get the same responses from my wife who doesn't want to hold onto properties. She see's them as an inconvenience (I even do all of the talking with the property managers & accountant).

Hang in there & don't let them change your mindset

 

[GIDDO]

Guilio,

Skater has it right an eloquent as well.

You need to cultivate your own differentness!

Keep your rellies and friends on side - maybe make a coupla new friends if possible who will understand. This forum is a great support.
Remember that a lot of people would like to do what you are going to be doing
but are basically afraid of starting. It is so much easier to be a knocker!
Hang in there.
Successful people don't get there by being ordinary.

 

[buzzlightyear]

I can only concur with the previous comments re experiences I have had with friends and relatives.

Ultimately we are all constrained by a combination of our own knowledge, experiences, so you wouldn't necessarily expect a chorus of applause from some people.

For example my father who is a real estate agent for over 25 years, when I bought on the Gold Coast a few years back, wasn't impressed with my choice. He was even less enamoured with my 3rd IP purchase, which he thought I was getting myself into too much debt. And let's not mention my mother's reaction.. God bless them both, they had the best of intentions, however, if I had listened to their well meaning words, I wouldn't be in the process of finalising another and hopefully securing myself financially down the track.

I have found this site to be extremely invaluable, through insights, knowlegde, advice and general words of encouragement. Ultimately, you need to block out of the negativity from those who may not know what you know and trust your instincts (and due diligence). Good luck..

 

[lizzie]

i agree with skater - but another view may be that they are uncomfortable with you going outside their "safety" zone, and are trying to pull you back.

by you investing, and being successful at it, can make them feel inadequate in their own lifepath. their choice then is to either to rise up to your level, or pull you back down to theirs, and the latter is easier for them to do.

fortunately my mother was an ip investor, as was my fil ... but my mil was very negative when i bought old dumps to reno as she couldn't understand why i didn't spend twice as much and buy a nice new place. my older teen stepkids are also negative and whenever hubby and i look at a new place, pipe up with "you've got enough houses already!" and find the whole process totally boring - even tho we gently remind them that it is the ips that buy their holidays, ipods and laptops.

the secret is to shrug your shoulders and say "whatever" and then do you own thing anyhow. the best way to stop the doubters is your success.

p.s. mil has come around and is now as enthusiastic about our new purchases as fil ... i'll give the kids a couple more years.

 

[kissfan]

Hi Guilio

Before you discuss "getting ahead in life" (because that is what you are trying to achieve) with anyone, ask yourself 'what has this person done lately?'

If the answer is, not much, don't waste your time discussing property investing with that person, they won't get it.

Regards
Marty

 

[Xenia]

Hi GT,
I hear you buddy!
I get this sort of thing all the time. I have a PhD in medical research and gave that up for full time investing. I get more abuse from family members than support!

Poor is not about money, its a state of mind, these people are poor and they are giving you poor advice. You need to keep going and mix with people who are rich, even when they are broke (no money) rich people have a different mindset than poor people!

It's frustrating, but you just need to keep doing what you doing. Kids shouldn't stop you either, I have 2 and still going!

all the best

 

[Tikor]

I agree with the general view - people who question your motives like that invariably haven't achieved much themselves (whether in investment or other fields), and aren't worth talking to about the subject. In situations where I need people to understand, I tell them I have a property investing business, and my IPs are the equipment that produces the business revenue, rather than my "possessions". I say things like "a farmer has a half-million dollar tractor, but it's a necessity for him to earn his living with". I find the penny does sometimes drop with this approach. Above all, don't let anyone convince you to do other than what you want to do, unless you are really sure of their superior knowledge and understanding (and even then be sceptical). Even people who love you may find your success threatening.

 

[Bargain Hunter]

Crazy People

It's funny to hear these comments from friends and relatives.

I worked with someone who said, "why bother, you might be dead tomorrow?"

My reply, "that's right, but I'm not PLANNING to die tomorrow."

Why do some people believe it is more honourable (you pick a word) to work till your sixty five only to die at sixty seven?

Than to do a bit extra (without losing the wife, kids ...etc), and retire twenty or thirty years earlier. To enjoy more of their company.

My thoughts.

Andrew

 

[The Y-man]

Why is it that when i speak to people about property investing the all tell me the same thing.
"why do you want so much" "your going to have kids soon" "dont bite off more than you can chew" "concentrate on making a family" "why cant you be happy the way you are"

These are the comments that really make my blood boil. I already suffer from analysis paralysis, and then to hear all this really puts me on my butt back to square one.

Does anyone else get this sort of feedback when talking to others about property investing ? Im sure im not the only one.

just having one of those days

CONGRATULATIONS!!

You have now officially become the big fish in the small pond.

Cheers,

THe Y-man

 

[Rixter]

I have also found that its alot easier to knock you for trying than to do something for themselves. It sounds funny to say but It somehow justifies in their own minds why that cant be bothered getting off their a**es themselves.

Get around like minded people who are also successful at what you want to do, or who are well on their way to achieving it. These people will uplift you & help you build the self confidence required to achieveing your goals/dreams - people who are members right here on this forum!

What your mind can conceive you will achieve.

 

[alexlee]

By definition anyone who invests in property is in the minority of the population. Anyone who wants to build a decent property portfolio is even further in the minority. In short, don't worry about what most people say. You can think all about the philosophical implications of their advice when you're sipping a Pina colada on the balcony of your Q1 penthouse. (Sorry, my goals intruding on the thread here). They'll be battling on the pension saying how lucky you are and how you must have done something dodgy to get there.

Alex

 

[Peter 14.7]

Agree with Alexlee.

Depite all the knowledge and opportunity to get ahead in todays world only 5% end up wealthy. It has been that way for years and will not change.

Where do I start....

Firstly, find others like you who are into investing. Try your local SS meeting .

Secondly don't tell those who doubt you. A thousands reason why but in the end it will not make a difference. You could own outright 10 IPS and they would say "but yeah look at all the land tax you pay!"

Why....It is all about the mindset.

Most older persons say 55 plus fear loans as BAD and simply cannot understand good and bad debt. And to be far it is only in the last 15 years that loans have been freely available to the masses. Hard to change that. My fil deals in cash and hoards gold!!!

Most young like teenagers of Gen Y think money grows on trees and have never seen a recession , high unemplyment, even high interest rates so why buy a house when rent is cheap and cars and Ipods can be bought instead. Ther time will come

And a lot are scared to take charge of thier financial future for fear of failure but every one how has a go will make a mistake of two or more. That is what you learn.

Other need to be within a herd to lead them like the Tech Boom and Recent IP Boom. To be safe in numbers they think.

Some are lazy even when SS if free , they will not even bother to surf and learn for nothing!!!!!

As the proverbial working class kid with nothing to start with I would have BEGGED to have this resource in my twenties. I am 39.

If the amount of people who ask or want to ask for my advice and when I mention SS is free is 100, then of those they actually use it and do something is 5. Again that 5%.

So dont bother and surf here and meet people and accept you will make a mistake or two.

Welcome to the forum, Peter 147

 

[bigfella966]

When myself & Hubby first started, we were enthusiastic & told everyone what we were doing. It soon became obvious that none of our friends or rellies were interested. We were told we were "greedy. You'll end up bankrupt. How many houses do you need. etc."

Isn't it amazing the negative responses you get, it was the same for us when we first started investing in properties, until we decided to just not talk about it to anyone unless they asked (which I still find hard, as it's a bit of a "Band Camp" thing for me ).

BF

 

[MPmelb]

people will generally always criticise what they do not understand. Therefore it's best not to discuss it with these type of people.

 

[AlmostBob]

Ditto, all the above,
Them that Dont, Wont, or Cant, will dump on your choices, even when their employment-investment-lifestyle choice, means they had to apply to rent one of your IPs.

 

[MarkR]

Warning: Simplistic views

Giulio,
OK, this is a simplistic overview so take it with a grain of salt. A common thread is 'don't talk about it unless you're asked', one thing you can do is to realize why you're telling people. Is it to ;
1. help them (I have this great info/opportunity that you can enjoy to)
2. enlist support (moral or otherwise)
3. To 'put yourself out there' so that there's no going back (I've told soooo many people, I'd better do it).

I've been through telling everyone & getting loads of negative feedback, so I know how you feel (especially when it's family (wife, mother, etc) & close friends. Now if someone asks a specific question I give a general answer, if they want to know more then I'll explain what I'm doing.

I've worked out that I was doing the talking for reason # 3, I don't need to do that now & also have realized through a few attempts that #1 I can't initiate, I can only create an example they may want to follow once I achieve some measure of success.
#2, finds some friends & mentors with similar interests & spend time with them talking about success, opportunities, etc.

Hang in there, it's a great ride.

Cheers
Mark

 

[Simon]

and you know that when you are wealthier than them they will say that you are lucky too.

Don't sweat it - water off a ducks back and all that.

Cheers,