son is asking big questions about how to have a relationship with a girl.
- Thread starter jane1111
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I think that is the point
I met the other half when I wasn't looking. Heck, I didn't even know he was a boy (it was in a fantasy style computer game). But he was cute in the flesh and what the hey, thought I'd give him a go despite him being an ungodly young 24 at the time (I was 29) and a shy little nerdy thing. Now I'm probably never going to get rid of him
He's certainly got issues though. Not with me, I'm an enabler. So he's really come out of his shell in the last few years, got more assertive, and 'changed' a lot, but that's just his real self showing. His therapist says he's repressed. No kidding.
I had to learn how to 'date' as an adult when i was 23 after breaking up with my partner who i had been with since i was 16. Luckily i was unemployed thanks to a redundancy and cashed up so i got to get in a lot of practice in a short time because applying for jobs was far less interesting.
There are books on it, there are some which are quite interesting from a basic human interatction point of view and there are some which are stupidly sleezy even suggesting basic hypnotism. I decided i wasn't above reading a book (see above notes about being unemployeed with a fair bit of time) but i tended to avoid some of the IMO dodgy stuff. Anyway the out takes i got which helped me talk to girls but better yet get through a break up, land a new decent job and just start improving my life.
Have fun doing what ever it is your are doing, the easiest way to appear 'interesting' when you are actually doing interesting things. I learnt how to ride a motorbike, went to raves, drove to 3 hours to attend a university ball of my flat mates sister dressed as Marilyn Munroe (by the way i am a straight guy), caught up with heaps of people i hadn't seen in a while.
Be confident, don't ask and um and err you get no where. I wouldn't ring and ask if they would like to go out sometime in the future and do something, i would ring and say hey i am heading out to do x activity at y time they should come. if they didn't want to i would have a fall back of something else i was doing that i already knew about (see the be doing lots of stuff). People will happily follow a person if they are interested, if not they will have somethign they want to do which you can choose to do with them either way you are working out the details not the question of do they want to do something.
Look better ... if you aren't happy with your look you won't be confident, i wanted to get a bit bigger and stronger, so i went to the gym and got fit which i have found great for other reasons. Changed my hair about 4 times and got clothes that fit well (don't fall for the trap of spending a fortune just get stuff that fits).
practice, i had the same first date a few times, knew a great late night coffee/pancake desert place just around the corner from my house, figured out a few solid topics to talk about if they where to quiet. That type of thing. Its like investing, get to a certain level of competency then you have to take a dive in to keep learning.
I learnt a lot about myself after years of being quiet and passive and previously not being brilliant with girls when i was 15 when i was previously single. I am not some guy slapping away women by any means but i can hold my own in a group and tend to pickup positive responses when i am out and about. I have been in a relationship for 18 months with a great girl and i certainly wasn't out looking for a 'relationship' she was a friend of a mates girlfriend who i met at a friday night after work drinks who happened to have always wanted to go out with a guy who had a motorbike sometimes a bit of luck helps.
There are books on it, there are some which are quite interesting from a basic human interatction point of view and there are some which are stupidly sleezy even suggesting basic hypnotism. I decided i wasn't above reading a book (see above notes about being unemployeed with a fair bit of time) but i tended to avoid some of the IMO dodgy stuff. Anyway the out takes i got which helped me talk to girls but better yet get through a break up, land a new decent job and just start improving my life.
Have fun doing what ever it is your are doing, the easiest way to appear 'interesting' when you are actually doing interesting things. I learnt how to ride a motorbike, went to raves, drove to 3 hours to attend a university ball of my flat mates sister dressed as Marilyn Munroe (by the way i am a straight guy), caught up with heaps of people i hadn't seen in a while.
Be confident, don't ask and um and err you get no where. I wouldn't ring and ask if they would like to go out sometime in the future and do something, i would ring and say hey i am heading out to do x activity at y time they should come. if they didn't want to i would have a fall back of something else i was doing that i already knew about (see the be doing lots of stuff). People will happily follow a person if they are interested, if not they will have somethign they want to do which you can choose to do with them either way you are working out the details not the question of do they want to do something.
Look better ... if you aren't happy with your look you won't be confident, i wanted to get a bit bigger and stronger, so i went to the gym and got fit which i have found great for other reasons. Changed my hair about 4 times and got clothes that fit well (don't fall for the trap of spending a fortune just get stuff that fits).
practice, i had the same first date a few times, knew a great late night coffee/pancake desert place just around the corner from my house, figured out a few solid topics to talk about if they where to quiet. That type of thing. Its like investing, get to a certain level of competency then you have to take a dive in to keep learning.
I learnt a lot about myself after years of being quiet and passive and previously not being brilliant with girls when i was 15 when i was previously single. I am not some guy slapping away women by any means but i can hold my own in a group and tend to pickup positive responses when i am out and about. I have been in a relationship for 18 months with a great girl and i certainly wasn't out looking for a 'relationship' she was a friend of a mates girlfriend who i met at a friday night after work drinks who happened to have always wanted to go out with a guy who had a motorbike
sometimes a bit of luck helps.
top post goonandall ... kudos given.
i especially like the bit about "do interesting things" and "tell them you are going to X and did they want to join you".
i found, when i was single, that show of confidence was appealing - and stopped any indecision or ummming and ahhhing ... also showed that one was quite happy to go and do X whether they came or not - in other words - be my own person with no pressure on them to fullfil any gap.
i especially like the bit about "do interesting things" and "tell them you are going to X and did they want to join you".
i found, when i was single, that show of confidence was appealing - and stopped any indecision or ummming and ahhhing ... also showed that one was quite happy to go and do X whether they came or not - in other words - be my own person with no pressure on them to fullfil any gap.
He's just got to put himself out there. Sort of the same as property investment, don't over analyse things and become paralysed, which he obviously has. If you want something jump in and go for it, cause if you don't you'll always regret it..
But I do agree when people say don't go searching for that person, they'll come along sooner or later, it's just when they do you have to make sure you take action!
But I do agree when people say don't go searching for that person, they'll come along sooner or later, it's just when they do you have to make sure you take action!
I use to be very shy, and use to be a disruptive ADD kid @ school to get attention. I remember this guy once telling me, Nathan, youd be cool if you just push your self around a little bit.
Well, after 5 years of making myself around the end of high school I had defined whoI was, and this was by just doing what I want, in line with society. Too often people sweat the small stuff, and think too much instead of just doing it. Its the monkey on our shoulders saying, oh she will say no etc etc. Pehaps he may want to join one of the courses out there.
Landmark Courses, I think can build confidence (+ be a place to network) and There are life coaches there which are about $3000 for a 10 week course where you go out with a group of 10 students each week to pick up girls.
Hope this helps, and he gets lucky soon!
Well, after 5 years of making myself around the end of high school I had defined whoI was, and this was by just doing what I want, in line with society. Too often people sweat the small stuff, and think too much instead of just doing it. Its the monkey on our shoulders saying, oh she will say no etc etc. Pehaps he may want to join one of the courses out there.
Landmark Courses, I think can build confidence (+ be a place to network) and There are life coaches there which are about $3000 for a 10 week course where you go out with a group of 10 students each week to pick up girls.
Hope this helps, and he gets lucky soon!
Oh Also,
I made a list of all the qualities my ideal wife would have so I had an understanding of what my core values are this way I had clear and defined goals, just like buying a property
I didnt go for the ones in the glossy brochure which were over priced I went for he good solid fundamental ones, with potential
I made a list of all the qualities my ideal wife would have so I had an understanding of what my core values are this way I had clear and defined goals, just like buying a property
I didnt go for the ones in the glossy brochure which were over priced I went for he good solid fundamental ones, with potential
Huh!? Did'nt see that in the course descriptions!
The previous post was tongue in cheek actually It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynaecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS ALSO CRUCIAL THAT YOU:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Leave him alone
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynaecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS ALSO CRUCIAL THAT YOU:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Leave him alone
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