The Whole Delayed Gratification Thing

[Brizzy Boy]

I know I have posted on this particular thread a while ago. I am all for the delayed gratification and quoted the Jan Somers "marshmellow test", plus that my wife said that she required a lick of that marshmellow every now and then to keep her on track.

Well to keep you all upto date, am currently building our 3rd IP and have promised my wife, that after this IP is complete and have organised the next IP about July, I would buy her a new car as her current vehicle is about dead "only running on 2 cylinders".

Looking around at realestate and am finding some bargins about, hence I have looked at 8 properties in the last 2 weeks, "2 Real Bottlers!". I was on the phone to my broker and the phone call back was "yes you can buy but the wife's car would have to be put off a little longer cause you are still building an IP at the moment and would make things a bit tight.

After a lengthy discussion with my wife, look's like she will get that lick of the marshmellow and get her new car in about July,August! "I am allowed to look at realestate, but not allowed to touch until after her car"!

The things I have to do for a pretty woman, "Hope my gratification is worth the wait when it comes!" hehehe!!!!

regards
John

 

[Jakk]

Delayed gratification, I'm over it!!

CK

Yep me too,
after reading this whole thread, I've decided I am not waiting a moment longer.
I am heading straight down to the supermarket before they close and I am going to get myself, not one, but two bags of marshmellows.
A bag of all white ones and a bag of mixed pink & white ones.
And just to top it all off, I am going to stay up all night and lick to my hearts content.
Unfortunately, I have found from past experience that licking marshmellows and drinking Stubboirs are not compatable activities.

Once again I find myself in a quandary.......decisions decisions....

regards

 

[geoffw]

...and driving down to the supermarket is not compatible with stubboirs either.

I get an impressions that many in the forum are into delayed gratification, and that's fair. But I also get the impression that many are not into any sort of gratification- that every bit needs to be delayed.

I've worked hard to get where I am. I'm not goingf to blow it all by any means.

But I do intend to take rewards along the way (as circumstances permit), otherwise it's not worth doing.

 

[Jakk]

...I've worked hard to get where I am. I'm not goingf to blow it all by any means.

But I do intend to take rewards along the way (as circumstances permit), otherwise it's not worth doing.

Geoff,

I take it that the above means that you are only going to buy ONE bag of marshmellows. which ones, all white or mixed pink and white?

regards

 

[geoffw]

I take it that the above means that you are only going to buy ONE bag of marshmellows. which ones, all white or mixed pink and white

Not a bag- I'll just take a big bite of one of those chocolate covered rocky road things.

I've spent a few years where I had to do without a few things (thanks to our beloved ATO). It taught me a lot about delaying a lot of gratification- but I've also learnt that I need a few rewards along the way as well.

Peter Spann was saying at his "Millionaire Mastermind" weekend that hed had kept old suits and clothes for when he was going to lose weight again. He is starting to lose weight- but he realised that the reward was not good- he would get to wear old clothes. So he's thrown out all his old closthes, and will not buy new clothes until he reaches his target weight. (And he is losing weight, and looking all the better for it).

People need a marshmallow, or a Rocky Road, or a stubboir. Without the reward, the goal may lose some attraction.

 

[Tim]

This is a really good thread - makes you think about it. I think that delayed gratification is initially a pre-requisite for getting ahead, and that as time goes on, delayed gratification in relation to previous delays can be reduced.

It is a bit of trick really, because you don't know how long you will live for.

I know that I was seriously into delayed gratification when I started out, and now shrugging off that habit is not that easy. I really think that balance is important, because on one hand constant delay is useless, but constant gratification tends to de-value what you get anyway. There really isn't any intrinsic happiness or value in "things", but a balance lets you see this and be free to enjoy them anyway.

I have found that being practical actually and asking common sense questions helps with shrugging off the old habit of delayed gratification. i.e. if I spend this money, how will it actually impact me, what other things would I really actually rather spend it on, how much am I investing compared to living it up, what do I need in live right now, if I died tomorrow would I still do this, if I lived to 95 what would I have preferred to do etc etc

One of my philosophies is to invest well enough so that I can constantly NOW reward myself, increasingly in more meaningful ways.....

Cheers,

SpongeBob

 

[Brizzy Boy]

Every body has different levels of gratification, my "marshmellow" is a 15 to 18m boat in about 9years and 50 weeks time. My reward for delaying my personal "material gratification". Having said that I still get gratification seeing my portfolio grow, giving me excitement and drive to continue as I have only been investing now for just over 15 months and being able to buy a property every 4 or so months is just over the top for me. For a guy who had nothing you can imagine the gratification that I get from being able to do this.

The life that my wife and I have had has changed dramatically in the last year, we have had to do without for so, so long, now she would like to see some rewards come her/our way, I agree with her to a point but then I do not want to jepordize what I am trying to achieve and that is the steady growth of our portfolio. I have put the car that she would like and "really does need as her's has to be replace" into my plan and she will get her car. But when I see a property that is a bargian it is hard for me to resist the temptation!

I suppose the trick is to fit that "lick of the marshmellow" at regular intervals within your ultimate plan and thus not become a derailing factor!

Just my thoughts
John

 

[XBenX]

I did the delayed gratification thing for a while, Im suprised I lasted so long.

As someone addicted to powdery white substances I really have no choice in delayed gratification...

Its 66 days till I get my next hit (hopefully someone upstairs will be a bit more generous and Ill get gratification sooner)

 

[kissfan]

After a lengthy discussion with my wife, look's like she will get that lick of the marshmellow and get her new car in about July,August! "I am allowed to look at realestate, but not allowed to touch until after her car"!

The things I have to do for a pretty woman, "Hope my gratification is worth the wait when it comes!" hehehe!!!

Hi Brizzy Boy.

Looks like you are kicking on which is fantastic, hope you get the car and the "reward" from your wife

Regards
Marty

 

[kissfan]

Hi all.

Since starting this thread, I've had a think about it all (the delayed gratification thing) and have decided that maybe it's a good thing to set yourself distant goals e.g new car, new boat, O.S holiday but in the meantime you have to have some rewards along the way such as interstate holiday, night out to theatre restaurant etc. A lot of people may think, big deal, I do those things all the time now but to someone such as myself the lights may have just gone on. I've always been putting things off to further invest and as SpongeBob said, it is a hard habit to break, but when you hear or read about a lot of things happening in the world and deaths to loved ones (know all to well about that one) it does make you realise that our time here is extremely limited. Now I just have to break my frugal mindset ( a bit anyway) and get to that built up equity.

Regards
Marty

 

[Tim]

Marty,

I agree with you. I really do think it is smart to get ahead, AND have lots and lots of fun times along the way, AND delay gratification for things that should be delayed.

If you think about it (which I really did last night), imagine you delay gratification and you delay and you delay - there is this underlying theory that either you need to delay to get something big (fair enough, might be the case) or that you are delaying because you believe that you will enjoy this same or similar thing later (like an OS trip), and that by delaying you can have more of them later, and therefore be more happy. I tend to think this last one is bit flawed... why should I be more happy later than now (especially if I am older etc).

Also, the logic of wanting more later of the same type of stuff as you could have now seems not smart. (i.e later when things are like I think they will be I will go to the restaurants, beach, holidays heaps, but right now I don't quite think I deserve it, or will be more happy if I don't do it now but do it more later). Doesn't seem to make sense....

It makes sense for big ticket items (ie I will skip going to Cairns and NZ and Tassie for holidays this year so I can go to Canada ski-ing next year - I kinda think that makes sense - but thinking I will hold off on smaller ticket items and never get them seems dumb.

Cheers,

Tim

 

[MichaelW]

Hmmm....

Very interesting indeed!

My wife is full on in to delayed gratification. I think she just hates not having financial security and she won't spend a penny on lifestyle until the mortgage on the PPOR is cleared. So, we live in a fantasic big house but have virtually no furniture and my crappy old 65cm TV is driving me crazy with its shadows and snow etc. I'm an executive on a fat salary and I need permission to buy a $100 set top box!

I think we're erring too much on the delayed gratification side, but try convincing my wife of that!!!

I'm off to do Steve's course in May, and given his post early on in this thread, I think I like what he's gonna say!

Ya gotta live a little along the way. Life's not a destination, but a journey.

Cheers,
Michael.

 

[kissfan]

Very interesting indeed!
So, we live in a fantasic big house but have virtually no furniture and my crappy old 65cm TV is driving me crazy with its shadows and snow etc. I'm an executive on a fat salary and I need permission to buy a $100 set top box!

I think we're erring too much on the delayed gratification side, but try convincing my wife of that!!!


Ya gotta live a little along the way.
Michael.

Think you're spot on Michael. I commented to my wife the other day that we always seem to be spending more on our I/P's than on our own PPOR (or ourselves for that matter). Something wrong there.

Currently thinking about restructuring our loans and use the equity to buy another I/P as well as service the new loan and existing ones (for a period of say 5-10 years) through either cashbond or line of credit. Hopefully that would free up a bit more cash to spend on ourselves.

Regards
Marty

 

[MichaelW]

Currently thinking about restructuring our loans and use the equity to buy another I/P as well as service the new loan and existing ones (for a period of say 5-10 years) through either cashbond or line of credit. Hopefully that would free up a bit more cash to spend on ourselves.

Marty,

Have you done Steve Navra's structure course yet? It covers a lot of the stuff your talking about re cash bonds and cash flow. I'm Sydney-based and am registered for his May course. Hopefully, I'll get my financial structures in place and maybe even get a little bit of spare cash flowing towards "living" instead of all of it in "paying down the PPOR".

If anyone else is coming to Steve's Sydney course in May then drop me a PM or an email and we'll make sure we hook up on the day. Or, maybe even before hand to discuss our intent and some pertinent questions to keep Steve on his toes. (He's stopped posting here I think so I'll probably get away with flippant comments like that )

Cheers,
Michael.

 

[kissfan]

Marty,

Have you done Steve Navra's structure course yet? It covers a lot of the stuff your talking about re cash bonds and cash flow. I'm Sydney-based and am registered for his May course. Hopefully, I'll get my financial structures in place and maybe even get a little bit of spare cash flowing towards "living" instead of all of it in "paying down the PPOR".

Hi Michael.

Haven't actually done the full course yet. Saw Steve at SIG and have met with him a few times. At present just talking to my accountant to come up with a few different scenarios, will play it by ear at this stage, but at least the wheels are in motion.

Regards
Marty

 

[Ecogirl]

As someone addicted to powdery white substances I really have no choice in delayed gratification...

Ben
If we didn't know you better anyone would think you were a drug addict

 

[see_change]

I've found our Delayed gratification goes in Cycles.

We put our noses down and concentrate on keeping expenses tight ( well tight by our standards .... ) while we're working on a particular project and then once that is finished we have a bit of a splurge .

The last splurge took us skiing to canada and deposited a hobie 17 into our driveway. We're also about to go on a World tour with the kids ( Sea world , Movie world , Dream world ...).

Just about to go into the next project and hopefully will have another bit of delayed gratification in about a years time.

See Change

 

[XBenX]

Snow trips and hobies - now your talking SC =)

 

[MichaelW]

SC,

I wanna splurge about $20-30K on a little 24 foot single hull cruiser to park in Pittwater. That's still firmly in my delayed gratification bucket at the moment though. I'll do Steve Navra's course in May, then get my finance's in order. I guess after that I'll have a view of where I truly stand and how much of my incomings can be nicely turned in to consumption oriented outgoings.

Its nice to have a target
Michael.

 

[wish-ga]

Ben
If we didn't know you better anyone would think you were a drug addict

Oh, I get it now. Snow not blow!