To slap or not to slap...when it's someone else's child?

rugrat said:
I don't think you are EVER entitled to hit / slap anyone elses kid.
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Actually, I would go one step further. Technically/Legally you are not entitled to hit/slap ANY kid, including your own.

As they are a child, they don't have to be the one to complain about it either. If you are seen striking your child, you can be charged, regardless of your or your child's view of the matter. It is assault, full stop.

Now, I'm a realist, and I think a little bit of corporal punishment helps to re-establishs some life balance from time to time, but watch out for all the do-gooders in the world with nothing better to do than f@#$ up everyone else's life because they haven't got one.... (...*sigh*.... as I dismount my terribly high horse...)
 
Good points Rugrat.

Firstly I don't think anyone should touch anyone else's child. Nowadays there's debate over whether you should even touch your own child.

Unfortunately the trend is that you can't say no to a child with fear of harming their self worth. Preschools no longer say no to children (and God forbid they get told they are naughty). Children are simply redirected.:rolleyes:

I've seen parents overreact to situations they did not witness purely on the say so of a child. Children don't usually have the ability to see both sides of a situation so parents get "their" side.

As a teacher of young children I've seen it all. Helicopter parents who insist on disciplining other peoples children and intervening in every issue to those that don't give a damn.

I think the most important thing is providing your children with opportunities to solve their own problems along with guidance on acceptable behaviour in differing circumstances. There will always be kids who don't follow the "rules". How your child reacts to that says a lot for their character.
 
ianvestor said:
At playgroup one bully pulled my girl's hair with all her strength.

I immediately grabbed the little ***** in both hands and literally through her to her dad like a football, with a yell to match.

Probably bruised her arms.
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I know I'm going to get jumped on for this but, Go Ianvestor! I like your style & it made me laugh!

(Isn't this just that 'redirection' of a naughty kid someone spoke of in an earlier post? And throwing is just like passing but faster isn't it heh heh heh)
 
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within our friends circle we all discipline each other's kids.

outside that circle, i'll use a stern voice.

i expect someone to tell my kids off if they're doing wrong and i don't see it, so I do it in the hope the 'favour' is returned.
 
ianvestor said:
I don't buy the "just a kid" bit... kids can do REAL DAMAGE. I suppose if your kid is 12 and another 12 year old goes at them with a knife, you're not going to knock their block off?

Maybe you should just say "NO!" and point your finger sternly at their knife.

Pfft.
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Yeah, this was the point of the book 'The Slap'.

Some little ***** at a BBQ had broken the kids' toys, generally behaved like a hooligan, made the others cry & finally was about to hit the other kid over the head with a cricket bat because he was 'out' & didn't want to have to play fairly.

This was when the parent of child about to get knocked out ran over & grabbed the bat & slapped the child. It was a situation that had built up over the course of the day & everyone had had enough of this little brat's behaviour while his parents stood around & made excuses for him or laughed it off.

It is a kettle of worms, isn't it? :p

I think there's a difference between kids just having a barney & some kid being malicious...yes, i do believe some have a nasty streak in them. Nature or nurture I don't care, but I agree wholeheartedly with ianvestor...I'm there to protect my daughter
 
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mary&mat said:
This was when the parent of child about to get knocked out ran over & grabbed the bat & slapped the child. It was a situation that had built up over the course of the day & everyone had had enough of this little brat's behaviour while his parents stood around & made excuses for him or laughed it off.
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Not saying I don't agree with that scenario, but I'd be too scared to touch someone's "precious" little ***** because of the litigious society we live in. Some kids do need a good kick up the backside in my opinion. If I had kids, I wouldn't hesitate to give them a slap on the legs if needed. Try being "reasonable" and having an adult discussion with a screaming 2 year old! :eek:
 
ianvestor said:
Who cares? My job is to protect my daughter.

99% of the time I won't intervene, but the other 1% I will do whatever it takes, legal or not.
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And it's the way that you chooe to react taht make syou obcviosuyly a pig of an adult with less brains an common sense of a child


As I said, try that on a kid of mine and I would break your face.. I would be doing exactly the same thing you say you are doing only, that I actually am protecting my kid, you were just waiting to beat up on someone smaller than you and to hurt them - how can you be proud of that seriously ? no respect or compassion for peopel >? I bet you think people ought to treat you and your children respectfully and compassionately ?

this topic was doomed from the start by suggetsing we shoul dhit other people's kids cause we dont know how to teach them to behave which is how nature works
 
There was never a suggestion of hitting jaycee. It was merely put out there to see how others have dealt with situations where one kid may be a little pr*ck.

I also found it interesting that my initial response was to grab the blighter. However, i refrained from this & just told him 'don't hit'.

It's interesting the inner feelings that are stirred up when a member of one's own clan is perceived to be 'in the line of fire'.

I guess the ideal is for humanity to treat everyone with dignity & respect & protect those who can't protect themselves.

It was just a study in how we as adults and on another level as (imperfect) humans handle these situations.
 
given the BBQ example, I would have told the child off right from the begining. If it still escaladed to the point of them picking up a bat I would have run over, I would have told them off (I am very good at that) and then I would have picked that child up if they were younger, or if they were older I would have frogmarched them, over to the parents and told the parents in no uncertain terms that their child was acting in an inappropriate and dangerous manner and that it was now their job to punish / discipline the child. I would not have hit them - they are not my kids (I probably would have hit my own). I have in fact done this on occaision.

You can get your point across to children (particularly if they are not your own) quite effectively without corpreal punishment, and then pass on responsibility back to the parents. How do you think teachers do it? Preventing physical violence is not the same as using physical violence.

I just find it amazing that 'some' adults have seemingly no problem getting physical with someone elses 'child', yet they seem to lack the guts and common sense to approach the parents and demand THEY take action!?!
 
In The Slap, I believe the father's reaction after he'd slapped the kid was of horror at what he'd just done. But it was instinct to protect his child & therein lay the dilemna.
 
i think by tall scary momma getting in his face and giving him a short sharp GRRR was probably enough.

i personally would never hit another person's child - but that doesn't stop me from giving them a short and sharp telling off if they deserve it.
 
Biggles said:
Not saying I don't agree with that scenario, but I'd be too scared to touch someone's "precious" little ***** because of the litigious society we live in. Some kids do need a good kick up the backside in my opinion. If I had kids, I wouldn't hesitate to give them a slap on the legs if needed. Try being "reasonable" and having an adult discussion with a screaming 2 year old! :eek:
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fark the litigation.

i've been threatened many times with litigation. i just say "try it on - i work for myself - i've got all the time in the world - i spend 3 months of every year at the state admin tribunal arguing planning law - i'm sure i could handle you".

it erodes to nothing.

did i also mention i'm good at poker?
 
To answer the question in the thread title - no I would never slap my child and I would never slap another child.

If my child was being bullied or physically hurt by another child and their parent wasn't around, I would promptly say something to the child to ensure they stop then I would remove my child from the situation. I would then go and find their parent and ask them to parent their child.

I can't believe ianvestor that you would hurl a child in a way that could potentially bruise their arms and I can't believe Mary&matt that that made you laugh :eek:

Quote "Try being "reasonable" and having an adult discussion with a screaming 2 year old"
Biggles exactly, they are a two year old, they no more understand a discussion than they do a slap.
 
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