You really have to read this, it is hilarious and totally worth the read. I was in tears to this one !
This just proves that some people are not ment to work together!!
*******
True Story
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?
Here's a prime example offered by an English professor from the
University of Phoenix:
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem
story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight,
one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will
e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The
partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
to the story and send it back also sending another copy to me. The
first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and
forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order
to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking
outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written
in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has
been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English
students:
Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
----------------------------------------------------------------
THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.
The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at
home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all
costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up
again. So chamomile was out of the question.
-----------------------------------------------------------
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to
think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,???*?? he said into his transgalactic
communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed
out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The
jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across
the cockpit.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before
he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one
woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space
Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and
carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her
from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around
her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
pondered wistfully.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted
wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament
Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for
the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human
race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower
to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they
swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile
entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret
Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor
off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion,
which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans.
The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't
allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of
the sky!"
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.
My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate
adolescent.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall
I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FU--ING
TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many
Danielle Steele novels."
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
*******.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Bitch.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
DICK!
---------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Slut.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Get fu--ed.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Eat sh-t.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
F--K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.
**********************************************
(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one. Only group to get an A
This just proves that some people are not ment to work together!!
*******
True Story
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?
Here's a prime example offered by an English professor from the
University of Phoenix:
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem
story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight,
one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will
e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The
partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
to the story and send it back also sending another copy to me. The
first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and
forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order
to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking
outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written
in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has
been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English
students:
Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
----------------------------------------------------------------
THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.
The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at
home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all
costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up
again. So chamomile was out of the question.
-----------------------------------------------------------
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to
think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,???*?? he said into his transgalactic
communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed
out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The
jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across
the cockpit.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before
he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one
woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space
Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and
carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her
from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around
her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
pondered wistfully.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted
wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament
Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for
the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human
race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower
to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they
swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile
entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret
Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor
off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion,
which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans.
The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't
allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of
the sky!"
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.
My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate
adolescent.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall
I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FU--ING
TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many
Danielle Steele novels."
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
*******.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Bitch.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
DICK!
---------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Slut.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Get fu--ed.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Eat sh-t.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
F--K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.
**********************************************
(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one. Only group to get an A
