What did your Parents Teach you about Wealth?

[Xenia]

It's funny that even if we do not like what our parents did we still become them?

I've had a lot of funny ideas about wealth creation that were my parents, not my own, beliefs that I needed to undo before I actually got some results.

My dad was a wealthy property investor who retired at age 55 with multiple properties, mainly commercial. He taught me the importance of leverage and banks, always said that real estate is your business do not confuse your profession (what you do at uni) with your business that makes money (real estate), he taught me to jump and the net will appear, take risks. He once got me to sign 3 contracts at one time as a 22 year old without finance approval, I was shaking like a leaf but he kept telling me that nothing will put the fire under you like a signature on paper. Believe that the money will come and it will. As scared as I was, it did! For all 3!

These were all great things, they taught me alot and gave me a great head start at a young age.

Then he turned 65 and discovered that he was not entitled to a pension because he had too much money. He thought the whole system was corrupt and unfair and he paid more money in tax in a month than most people earn in a year and why should he not be entitled to a pension??? He developed or always had this entitlement mentality that is so detrimental to wealth creation. It was embarassing.

At the end he sold everything and went overseas to invest in a country that looks after people that have achieved something! (his words not mine, I don't agree with any of this!). He is still there investing in Europe right now!

After all that success, my dad's words of wisdom to me are: Yes it's easy to make money but DON'T BOTHER! The government punishes those that make money and rewards those that are lazy so be lazy

My mum, well she has no concept of wealth creation, she loves the big mansions and antique furniture but has no real concept of how they were achieved in the first place. Her focus was baking buiscuits, and she is a fantasitc cleaner but no wealth creation concepts at all! . She just thought that I should marry a rich man and stay home and bake buiscuits all day!

To create wealth I had to ignore my mum's input all together, ignore my dad's later emerging victim mentality and only take the good wealth tips from when my dad was a prime business man. He still offers some really good business advice now and surprises me as to what he actually knows. Why he decided to sabotage that knowledge with victim thinking I can never work out but it's his descision I guess.

Well that's it, as strange as it is, that's my story! Has anyone here actually been raised by normal parents? Would anyone repeat their upbringing with their own children?

I'm sure my children will also have their own story to tell in due course and will use it as a learning to do it much better with their children but I thought it might be worth a discussion anyway.

What did your parent's believe about wealth creation and what did they teach you?

 

[craigb]

good one !

what my mother tough me was, were not wealthy so get used to it , stop dreaming, and your targets are too high, very uplifting stuff!

 

[AUSPROP...]

exactly...come down to earth. pay off your mortgage

 

[Buying_Freedom]

My parents taught me to pay down the loan on any PPOR or investment property. They also taught me that the only way to get rich is to win the X-Lotto. They're still trying to win it themselves though.

I ignore most of their ideas of money as my dad is 54 and still working with no hope of retiring before 65.

Their advice isn't all bad though. They did teach me to not waste money and not to get into credit card debt, which is good. And when property was booming they encouraged me to buy my first property in 2003. They just didn't count on me buying anymore property. Multiple investment properties = too risky to them.

 

[jaycee]

Don't talk about money, don't question religion, don't discuss politics

 

[RumpledElf]

My parents don't do property - they've been in the same house since they got married umpteen decades ago. They've never relied on welfare of any form. But I think they might be millionaires.

So, I guess their tips would be don't spend any money unless you absolutely have to, and stick all remaining money in shares/super. They've been doing this for at least a decade and have virtually no expenses (paid off house, solar electricity, incredibly boring lifestyle, no holidays, no high-tech toys etc), hence my suspicion that they are suspiciously rich and are saving up for .. uh ... something. My mother works in aged care so I think she wants a personal nurse in her dotage. Not sure what they're going to spend the rest of it on, I guess I'll just inherit it when they die at 105 from too many years of boring clean living, and I can use it for a personal nurse in *my* dotage, since I'll be 80 by then.

 

[HealthyWealthy]

My parents are slightly different but perhaps equally tragic as some of those discussed in this post.

My parents started investing in property in the 80s when I was still young but my memories to do with money are mainly to do with them working long hours and being relatively frugal to pay off the mortgage(s). Even Sunday nights when the weekly shopping was sometimes yet to be done, rather than order pizza my mum would make scrambled eggs with left over eggs and ham.

Tragically, all of it came to naught when my father died when I was 10 from cancer.

I say 'tragically' because so much of it was all with the mindset of 'one day' and that 'one day' never came - a lot of work, just to never had really enjoyed it.

Even today, my mother has a hand-full of investment properties and while she's 'wealthy' on paper, she's chasing tenants or investing in another property (which keeps her relatively cash-flow poor).

I get the impression, 'one day' might not ever come for her either.

I guess as a hang-over from my childhood, my first tendency when it comes to spending money is to feel a bit guilty but then, I could suffer the same fate as my father and die waiting for the proverbial 'one day' to come.

Even my accountant warns against the mentality of accumulating to the point where near-term pleasures are sacrificed...

So, I have been guilty of drinking expensive wine or buying designer shoes (and, after a recent post, spending $91 per cut on my hair ) but I've always been measured in my approach and only bought the things that I've truly wanted and enjoyed.

Oh, and while I wait for Dazz to come and cut me down for being a snotty professional, I've also achieved post-graduate qualifications in a profession that will let me lead a comfortable lifestyle regardless of how hard I invest. My parents didn't have this luxury either.

 

[frini]

I was told "its hard work making it, but great fun spending it!" and "save it youve got it, but spend it and its gone"

 

[Aaron Sice]

nothing.

nada.

zip.

zilch.

fu*k all.

sparrow's fart.

my parents didn't even read to me. they weren't interested too much in my education, as long as i went to school and "tried my best, it was all they could ask for".

i revel in the fact that my parents understand nothing of what i do or how i make money. to them, i fall in piles of sh*t and come out smelling like roses and they have no idea how - i'm a magician!

 

[peastman]

My parents were very conservative and had no idea about wealth creation. Life was buy a home, work hard and bring up a family. I suppose it was basically the Australian dream they were living. Nothing more, nothing less. It is sad that now my father is in his mid 70s and cannot afford to do anything but sit at home and occasionally go to McDonalds for a coffee.

My Grandfather on the other hand I think was very cluey. He owned a television and record shop in the 50s and I have memories of him listening to ABC radio stock market reports when I was a child. If he had lived longer, I am sure he would have had a lot to teach me.

 

[deejay]

My mother had very little earning capacity due to mental illness, but she came into $38K in her divorce in the mid eighties. It wasn't enough for a house outright in Sydney (and of course she couldn't borrow), but it was enough for a house in a perfectly good regional area. Well, she couldn't or wouldn't do it. She wouldn't move out of her comfort zone, she wouldn't move away from her family (who she freely admitted were toxic to her). So she lost the money. She lived unsustainably, renting a premium apartment that cost more than her income and topped up from the lump sum. She lent some to her bankrupt sister without a contract. She lent more to a coworker with a sob story, also without a contract or even the coworker's last name or address. She had no concept of money as a tool to use responsibly, or any concept of having a duty to me to create a sustainable life. She had a massive entitlement mentality.

My father demonstrated moving out of his comfort zone. He moved into his parents holiday cottage in a regional hamlet after the divorce - now a booming holiday town, then a nothing little burg. Then he moved to Queensland. He only invested in his home. No super, no shares, no bonds. He also demonstrated, indirectly, the power of property appreciation. There was "only" $38K in the marital home because he was a bank manager and got a 2% interest, minimal repayment loan, so they had paid only $50 off the principal when they divorced and sold.

I was willing to move from my comfort zone, and bought land when I was 23, 100km from Dubbo. I paid a thousand dollars for it, plus legals and back council rates (2K total). It was a fire sale by a vendor being threatened with a lawsuit, found in the Trading Post. I was willing to live there, but my son developed health problems and we needed to be in the city for a while. I still have that land - ten years on, it's worth $15K. It'll be worth building on as an investment one day, but not yet. The developed value to building cost ratio isn't right, but it's getting closer.

These days, we live in a different regional area. I could have had a really good life a lot sooner if my mother had moved from her comfort zone. I sort of assumed the options were tiny hamlets (like my land and my father's home) or the city. I didn't know about big regional areas with amenities on train lines like Newcastle, Wollongong, Nowra, Goulburn, and so on. If I'd known that, I'd have moved to one with my son when he was sick instead of staying in the city. And knowing about regional areas has been really good for us - it's exposed us to higher returns and greater diversification, as well as a good lifestyle for ourselves.

I suppose I'm also switched on to being sustainable as a result of my mother's unsustainability. We're moving to a more modest house shortly. We can afford the one we're in, and it's very beautiful, but it's also a ball and chain. And we don't really need it. We don't even spend enough time in it to enjoy it. In terms of function, the new house has everything our current house has except for an ensuite, and it's 40% cheaper, and it's in a bigger town with more amenities. Go figure.

 

[kissfan]

My parents were very conservative and had no idea about wealth creation. Life was buy a home, work hard and bring up a family. I suppose it was basically the Australian dream they were living.

Very similar to my upbringing.

Mum & Dad both worked very hard to provide but nothing in terms of wealth creation. Dad died at age 54 (heart attack at work) so mum was left to fend for herself (so to speak).

I take pride that I am the first (as far as I know) in my family to try and better myself and family through wealth creation. I'm far from achieving my goals but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'd love to think my 'downline' will also strive for financial freedom.

Regards
Marty

 

[our obsession]

Xenia:

It's funny that even if we do not like what our parents did we still become them?

No, I did not. They were my contrast to seek, learn and do wealth creation, and for that I am appreciative.

What did your parent's believe about wealth creation and what did they teach you?

Any money that came into Dad's hands went into drinking and cars, Mum had two (parttime) jobs ...that money fed us, clothed us and educated us.

So, from my mother I did learn the value of having work/earning an income, plus she always paid any bills, even if it meant paying a bill off in installments. Her values came from her Mum and Dad who were low income farmers, but very proud and independent people.

Dad's folks were quite entrepreneurial? s? business people, they certainly knew how to, and could create wealth, (businesses), but would then drink and gamble it. My Dad had no sense of family responsibilities or maturity or financial capabilities, or chose not to have rather.

I quickly realised I needed to be independent and resilient very early on, at 5 yo I started earning money minding/watering, (we had water in those days! ) peoples' gardens in school holidays when they went away.

As we shifted around SA and Victoria I just got jobs and work in the towns where we lived, (pre age work restrictions for kids), saving as much as I could, but also contributing to the household. I gardened, looked after pets, babysat, worked in a heap of retail shops (usually cafes/bakeries), worked horses, helped other kids with their homework for money, picked, bagged, sorted dug up potatoes, picked grapes, heaps of stuff, bit of everything..

Put myself through career training, still saving but also enjoying life...a good balance, travelled and worked extensively. Just hadn't got clued up on what to do with savings, knew there would be something, and perhaps my greatest role models was an elderly Aunt and Uncle that had a block of flats, that seemed to me to be a great idea...they were fantastic role models, life values, living, and financially too a heap of us, (extended family).

But it was Rich Dad Poor Dad that flicked the switch, closely followed by Steve McKnight and Jan Somer's..a big aha moment.

Up until Robert Kiyosaki I just did not understand wealth creation, his book was a fantastic kickstart....drew all the bits and pieces I had been practicing within me and linked them up in a very generalised way. Steve and Jan made it specifics. Australian and told story by story so I realised everyone could have a crack at wealth. Then my Mortgage Broker sharing her experiences and knowledge, (an investor), so I wanted to be learning and the education has probably started off with, well, that's my Mum and Dad, I love them dearly, but I am not making thse same life choices!

Then you just get like a rat up a drainpipe learning stuff and fantastic, knowledgeable, generous people start appearing in your life..BINGO BABY!!

 

[willfong]

My dad taught me the value of hard work, living beneath your mean and making your money work for you (investing), and the importance of taking actions (rather than too much analysis). He also taught us the most important reason for accumulating wealth, which is to provide the best you can for your family. He is stingy to outsiders but doesn't think twice about spending on our education and helping us with our first home downpayments and providing for his siblings and their children who are doing it tough (no such thing as centrelink where we came from).

He works hard in his retail shop and invest in properties both in Australia and Indonesia, occasionally become a silent partner in other business ventures with other people, and also provides business loans to his friends who need extra cash to expand their businesses or smooth over short term cash flow problems.

He is 68 and could have retired comfortably years earlier but chose to continue working in his small business. At least he has started to take it easier these past few years and enjoy one or two overseas holidays with my mom every year.

 

[craigb]

Xenia:

No, I did not. They were my contrast to seek, learn and do wealth creation, and for that I am appreciative.



Any money that came into Dad's hands went into drinking and cars, Mum had two (parttime) jobs ...that money fed us, clothed us and educated us.

So, from my mother I did learn the value of having work/earning an income, plus she always paid any bills, even if it meant paying a bill off in installments. Her values came from her Mum and Dad who were low income farmers, but very proud and independent people.

Dad's folks were quite entrepreneurial? s? business people, they certainly knew how to, and could create wealth, (businesses), but would then drink and gamble it. My Dad had no sense of family responsibilities or maturity or financial capabilities, or chose not to have rather.

I quickly realised I needed to be independent and resilient very early on, at 5 yo I started earning money minding/watering, (we had water in those days! ) peoples' gardens in school holidays when they went away.

As we shifted around SA and Victoria I just got jobs and work in the towns where we lived, (pre age work restrictions for kids), saving as much as I could, but also contributing to the household. I gardened, looked after pets, babysat, worked in a heap of retail shops (usually cafes/bakeries), worked horses, helped other kids with their homework for money, picked, bagged, sorted dug up potatoes, picked grapes, heaps of stuff, bit of everything..

Put myself through career training, still saving but also enjoying life...a good balance, travelled and worked extensively. Just hadn't got clued up on what to do with savings, knew there would be something, and perhaps my greatest role models was an elderly Aunt and Uncle that had a block of flats, that seemed to me to be a great idea...they were fantastic role models, life values, living, and financially too a heap of us, (extended family).

But it was Rich Dad Poor Dad that flicked the switch, closely followed by Steve McKnight and Jan Somer's..a big aha moment.

Up until Robert Kiyosaki I just did not understand wealth creation, his book was a fantastic kickstart....drew all the bits and pieces I had been practicing within me and linked them up in a very generalised way. Steve and Jan made it specifics. Australian and told story by story so I realised everyone could have a crack at wealth. Then my Mortgage Broker sharing her experiences and knowledge, (an investor), so I wanted to be learning and the education has probably started off with, well, that's my Mum and Dad, I love them dearly, but I am not making thse same life choices!

Then you just get like a rat up a drainpipe learning stuff and fantastic, knowledgeable, generous people start appearing in your life..BINGO BABY!!

i am impressed i supose those years of having NOTHING has driven you to try and get the other, i was doing odd jobs, weed pulling etc at about 10y old.
and i will never forget when the salvo's gave us a bbq chicken for x-mass that was christmass dinner for us, tough things to block out of your memior's
cheers, craig.

 

[Xenia]

nothing.

i revel in the fact that my parents understand nothing of what i do or how i make money. to them, i fall in piles of sh*t and come out smelling like roses and they have no idea how - i'm a magician!

Funny how people with no concept of wealth creation and especially those who do not have the right mindset to become wealthy think that there is "magic" or something mystical and beyond reach involved in getting rich.

I hear the same things from my mum and my grandmother, "oh you must be very smart", "not everyone can do what you do, you take big risks, be careful" Gee that's alot of money!, How do you just know what to do with that much money? Are you ever scared? Don't tell me again about that business, real estate deal, I won't be able to sleep. What if you can't pay off the debt? How do you just know that? Who did you take after?.....

I don't think that what big investors do is anything more than common sense and normal. Funny how people who have decided not to place themselves into that investing space think that those that have are in some ways advanced or magical when really all they are doing is playing a bigger game of economics that has always been around and that anyone can tap into.

 

[jaycee]

Not that funny Xenia, I think it is quite understandable..

 

[Xenia]

Don't talk about money, don't question religion, don't discuss politics

But these are my favourate points of discussion

 

[Sheryn]

Don't talk about money, don't question religion, don't discuss politics

Exactly as stated above and don't ask anyone how much money they earn!

One lesson I learn't from parents is don't put all your eggs in the one basket. eg they put all of their spare money in one local TV company as local prominent identities did as well and all (had majority of assets stripped via bottom of harbour scheme) .

Oh yeah and lets not forget family wealth is passed down via sons (daughters get nothing as their own husbands should provide as breadwinners).


Cheers
Sheryn

 

[Xenia]

Oh yeah and lets not forget family wealth is passed down via sons (daughters get nothing as their own husbands should provide as breadwinners).

Cheers
Sheryn

funny how each family make their own rules and state whatever suits them at the time. My grandmother only left her wealth (very little) to her daughters so that she can be absolutely certain that it gets to her "real" grandchildren. If left to the sons she would never be 100% certain that it will go down the right blood line.

Didn't the ancient Egiptians do that too? Leave wealth only to their daughters to ensure that it gets to their blood line?

My grandmother also used to help my mum out with raising my brother and me but not her sons (my uncles) in raising my cousins. She always used to tell me that my brother and me were more special because she was rest assured that we were her real grandkids and my cousins could be anyone's! Crazy but makes sense from a genetic point of view. Hunter gatherer societies also have this rule, grandmothers only help daughters to protect their own genetic interest.

Off course no one alerted my grandmother that we have now invented DNA tests