Who do you tolerate??

Yes, I did have to question why and my conclusion is that he was treated with the same neglect.
Another horrible thing I thought of was my mother-in-law requesting that I never have her go to my oldest child's primary school because she had health issues and wouldn't be able to make it up the hill. Bit of a shock, Very awkwardly one night at school when they had open class room at the school to show off the kids work mother inlaw was walking up a path a few metres away from us to view her neighbours kids work at the same time we were walking up. She viewed the neighbours kids schoolwork then came and greeted us and said she'd look at my daughters work. The viewing time was over...

Yes, I started to think the same thing. (I thought about your family a lot since writing my comment)

I'd suggest staying away from her, but if your kids are around her, you should be there....

Sometimes it is hard to remember, that not all of us had loving parents.
 
Yes, I started to think the same thing. (I thought about your family a lot since writing my comment)

I'd suggest staying away from her, but if your kids are around her, you should be there....

Sometimes it is hard to remember, that not all of us had loving parents.

Thanks Kathryn for your thoughts! My sis-in-law is doing the same sort of stuff to my kids, like at her daughters birthday party had lolly bags for everyone except my kids and a lucky dip for everyone except my son. She thinks we should just get over it, it's not an issue. She has no excuse to behave like this! As sad as it is, we will be spending Xmas on our own. My husband finally very recently gets their behaviour is unacceptable and appologised to me on their behalf. Their behaviour has been damaging to my kids and in the long run we will be better off by limited contact. We have had some fantastic friends that have been a very positive influence on my family although we have been seperated through long distance and death but I will continue to surround us with positive influences rather than tolerate negative influences.
 
Thanks Kathryn for your thoughts! My sis-in-law is doing the same sort of stuff to my kids, like at her daughters birthday party had lolly bags for everyone except my kids and a lucky dip for everyone except my son. She thinks we should just get over it, it's not an issue. She has no excuse to behave like this! As sad as it is, we will be spending Xmas on our own. My husband finally very recently gets their behaviour is unacceptable and appologised to me on their behalf. Their behaviour has been damaging to my kids and in the long run we will be better off by limited contact. We have had some fantastic friends that have been a very positive influence on my family although we have been seperated through long distance and death but I will continue to surround us with positive influences rather than tolerate negative influences.

Thank you for sharing, and I wish your family a Merry Xmas.
It must be very difficult for your children, in time hopefully they will understand.
Chances are...the in laws are very jealous of you...for whatever reason.
 
What's the right answer to this question?
It really says more about the one posting who thinks he or she is in a position to judge and exclude others.

Not very Christian/Muslim/Buddhist/Jewish/Hindu/ethical/secular.... not very nice at all. Certainly not kind or accepting or loving. Are you really better than that person you're judging?
How very superior of you.
 
So.... it's okay for you to judge us, judging others?

I didn't see this thread as a nasty one. We all know (or worse, are related to) people who get our goat. It doesn't mean you treat anyone badly... it just means that you're not a fan of them. Surely it's inevitable that we all meet people we find irritating, for whatever reason.
 
No it's not really ok.
But don't you think that if you want to slap someone in the face you might need to look at what it is in yourself that gets triggered rather than blaming the other person for your reactions?
 
No it's not really ok.
But don't you think that if you want to slap someone in the face you might need to look at what it is in yourself that gets triggered rather than blaming the other person for your reactions?
Personally, I just take a deep breath and respond to her politely.
 
No it's not really ok.
But don't you think that if you want to slap someone in the face you might need to look at what it is in yourself that gets triggered rather than blaming the other person for your reactions?

That's why I nominated myself as well as you :D

Cliff
 
Looks like I'm going to hell.....;)

I think the best option if someone annoys you is probably not too see them too often which is what we do, funerals and weddings that's about it.
 
I changed jobs recently because I just couldnt put up with a woman at work any more.

I didnt realise how stressed I was until I got away from her.

Life is too short to put up with these people.
 
No it's not really ok.
But don't you think that if you want to slap someone in the face you might need to look at what it is in yourself that gets triggered rather than blaming the other person for your reactions?

Dr Phil here.....
Most judgments of others are ego strategies to avoid uncomfortable feelings. However, if you lack the awareness of where they come from, they can lead to even more discomfort down the line.

Now let's get this straight we all judge.

I think if a topic is unpleasant then its very easy....... just vote with your fingers and ignore it, then its not an issue.:)
 
No it's not really ok.
But don't you think that if you want to slap someone in the face you might need to look at what it is in yourself that gets triggered rather than blaming the other person for your reactions?

Seriously? EVERYONE judges, you included. You just judged posters on this thread to have a superiority complex as though you're above that... pot, kettle?
 
What's the right answer to this question?
It really says more about the one posting who thinks he or she is in a position to judge and exclude others.

Not very Christian/Muslim/Buddhist/Jewish/Hindu/ethical/secular.... not very nice at all. Certainly not kind or accepting or loving. Are you really better than that person you're judging?

I think WattleIdo makes a good point.
We all judge but that doesn't make it right. The Judeo-Christian teaching is clear on this.

Matthew 7:1-3 King James Version (KJV)

Judge not, that ye be not judged.

For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?


No it's not really ok.
But don't you think that if you want to slap someone in the face you might need to look at what it is in yourself that gets triggered rather than blaming the other person for your reactions?

We all have idiosyncrasies that irritate others, just as others have idiosyncrasies that irritate us. To be irritated and judge is human but all religions and philosophies urge us to rise above this and be a better person.

"He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her" John 8:7

The story of Jesus and the people who wanted to stone a woman they accused of adultery is a powerful one,

"At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.

Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you,"Jesus declared. Go, and sin no more".


Not Liars, deceivers, or agenda drivers

I agree. The people we really have to look out for and be on our guard against are the people who deliberately want to deceive and hurt us, emotionally and financially.

"be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves".
 
Definitely my FIL. Always thought he was a selfish, opinionated man. One example, when we lived near him and I wanted to get a dog, because he and MIL don't like dogs he said no one would help us with it (the dog) and they wouldn't visit us. Anyway, we eventually moved to the other side of the world and didn't need their help, or their visits. Four years later FIL is coming over to spend five weeks holiday with us. Hoping he's mellowed with age, but in any case I won't be rising to his bait if there is any. I'll keep my temper and feelings to myself so that hubby and dad can enjoy their time together.
 
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