Subject: FW: XMAS PARTY 2003
If you are planning a Christmas Party/function, please read this....
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1 2003
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar & plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols....feel free to sing along, & don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 13:00. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees as a special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time. Merry Christmas to you & your family. Patty
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2 2003
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party". The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree presents. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your entertainment. Happy now? Happy holidays to you & your family. Patty
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3 2003
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA ONLY" you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchanges are allowed since the union members feel $10 is too much money & executives believe $10 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7 2003
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating & drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employee's beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party-or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy-bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of weight watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet & pregnant woman will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food, we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as desserts for diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts, sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!? Patty
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All #$%&ing Employees
DATE: December 10 2003
RE: The #$%&@*# Holiday Party
Vegetarians?!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, & you'll get your @#$%&! salad bar, including organic tomatoes. You do know tomatoes have feelings too? They scream when you slice them, I've heard them! I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk & die, you hear me!?!?!?!?!?!?!!! The bitch from hell!!!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 14 2003
RE: Patty Lewis & Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery & I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party & give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
If you are planning a Christmas Party/function, please read this....
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1 2003
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar & plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols....feel free to sing along, & don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 13:00. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees as a special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time. Merry Christmas to you & your family. Patty
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2 2003
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party". The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree presents. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your entertainment. Happy now? Happy holidays to you & your family. Patty
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3 2003
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA ONLY" you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchanges are allowed since the union members feel $10 is too much money & executives believe $10 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7 2003
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating & drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employee's beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party-or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy-bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of weight watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet & pregnant woman will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food, we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as desserts for diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts, sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!? Patty
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All #$%&ing Employees
DATE: December 10 2003
RE: The #$%&@*# Holiday Party
Vegetarians?!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, & you'll get your @#$%&! salad bar, including organic tomatoes. You do know tomatoes have feelings too? They scream when you slice them, I've heard them! I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk & die, you hear me!?!?!?!?!?!?!!! The bitch from hell!!!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 14 2003
RE: Patty Lewis & Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery & I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party & give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!