Tell my family and friends I had won 5 million.
Retire, and become a sad, bitter old man on a forum, being condescending towards everyone that didn't do exactly the same thing as me, and carrying on like a sad sack whenever someone posted a bit of frivolity.
You forgot "twisted".
But; you're not quite on the money; I'm not retired and not old...just
older than most here.
But, if I had $50 mill; I'd pay off all debts and finish off the house/garden.
Buy a decent car....
Pay my 2 mechanics a six figure wage each to run the workshop how they liked. Hell; I reckon I'd simply give them the business to own half and half each.
Give the family some money each, but most important; pay all my niece's hospital bills for her newborn baby - she has a severe cleft pallet and will need lots and lots of work.
Invest the rest into more businesses for some income, and more jobs for folks, and buy a few Comm IP's just for fun.
Whack a load into the ING account and use the interest for living off each week.
Join The National Golf Club,
Buy a 40 foot cabin cruiser and have it moored down at Martha Cove,
Spend the rest of the time playing golf, fishing and water skiing with the kids, entertaining friends (I do actually have some).
Do some volunteer work around the town for free, for the various things than they need help with.
Travel.