Dazz:
I think I might just have to hug you...
I think I might just have to hug you...
Bipolar people.
- Thread starter Bon
- Start date
Im an animated person and use colorful language. The internet isnt the best medium for conveying tone. I'll stand by what I said though - if I meet someone new and they turn out to be psychos, I'm staying away. They'll get a hello and a how are you, and thats it. Life is too short to be surrounded by toxic people.Thats a completely different tone to:
Ive known a few bipolar people. They fit into my "get rid of this person from your life because they bring you down and mess up your potential" category.
"Yes its terrible that some people have a certain condition. Yes I feel bad for them. But Im not a safety net. I dont exist to prop up people who are going to fail to some degree anyway. If you enter my life and rip it apart with your ********, then get the hell out of my life.
There are nearly 7 BILLION people on this planet. I couldnt talk to all of them for 1 second each without dying of old age. So if you have bipolar, and bring drama to my life - get out. Get out, and do whatever it is you are going to do. Just dont bring that into my life.
I have enough problems, better things to do, and better people to hang out with. One of the 7 billion that arent going to rip a wrecking ball through my existence."
Did the same person write both posts? i think the bolded parts say so much more about you than a person with bipolar (or any other problems they might have) would.
And you talk about your extensive body building knowledge like people care.
Also I spoke about my BB experience because someone asked for help in another thread, and then evand brought it up in this thread.
Get away with ya OO - I've seen what you randy horsey country gals get up to - and I'm not ashamed to say it's a very pretty sight !!!
In the whole time I've known her, her father was very sick and ended up dying from cancer... so I accepted that as an excuse for her behavior (quite stupid and ironic since I didn't accept my cousin's behavior after her mother died for the way she acted and cut her from my life, but love is blind I guess). I'm sure she's still grieving, but it doesn't excuse her inevitable passive-aggressive blackmail directed towards me.. now, the excuses just keep on coming. Her mother's bringing her down, she's depressed, bla bla bla.
Very tough to do, but I'll never be so glad to see a girl I love go to another guy. They both deserve each other IMO, I really want nothing to do with her. I hope like hell he takes her off my hands so she doesn't contact me again.
Very tough to do, but I'll never be so glad to see a girl I love go to another guy. They both deserve each other IMO, I really want nothing to do with her. I hope like hell he takes her off my hands so she doesn't contact me again.
my attitude would be - are they trying to help themselves get better? if so, then i'd be supportive, empathetic and help them on their journey.
if they have no intention of bettering themselves and laying all blame for their actions at the feet of others, then they'd be out of my life before they could blink.
i have no time for people who play the victim with no intention of helping themselves to improve ... and that goes for people without a mental problem as well.
if they have no intention of bettering themselves and laying all blame for their actions at the feet of others, then they'd be out of my life before they could blink.
i have no time for people who play the victim with no intention of helping themselves to improve ... and that goes for people without a mental problem as well.
I find your attitude more toxic than any person I have met who struggles with mental illness.
To equate "psychos" with toxicity is so repugnant that I think you probably have some kind of repressed mental illness yourself.
Reminds me of the bible thumping religious nuts in America who rail against pornography and then it turns out they they are running porno empires.
In our society everybody encounters people daily who are afflicted with some kind of mental illness, whether it's severe depression or full blown paranoid schizophrenia. Some people have sought help and have it under control - some people need help in finding the help.
Re OP's problem: No one should have to live with someone if they have a bipolar illness and who is not taking medication. But before you leave - or turf her out - give her some tools to help herself starting here.
Meet a few more and talk to me afterwards. I know a lovely specimen to put you in touch with. 6 foot tall, on steroids, a love of fighting, with his brain fried into psychosis by methamphetamine. one minute youre his best friend, next youll be fighting for your life (literally). Oh but he'll apologise profusely afterwards and tell you he didnt mean it, and want to hang out with you. If you dont want to, he'll be offended and kick you in the face a few times. And apologise of course.
Or perhaps youd like to get to know the one who is convinced that he is a contractor working in Iraq, making $200 000 a year, with the CIA after him. Nothing like being (literally) dragged out of a party and have to listen to that for 30 minutes at a time whenever he felt like repeating what he already told you for the 18th time, and try to "recruit" you into the service.
How about another lovely one, who is quite nice but obsessed with guns, has random unpredictable violent episodes, and has shot at least one person that I know of.
Seriously, PM me your number, and Ill get you in touch with them. You can be pen pals, and offer them to come to your home and hang out. At least one of them will insist on it. And if you refuse, expect a landcruiser unexpectedly parked on your front lawn with NT plates
...so come on. Show me how toxic I am, and how full of goodness you are, Mother Teresa.
The options are not either "let this person take over your life" or "cut them off and have nothing to do with them".
I think the vast majority of us can see the large middle ground; "give this person as much support as you can, without letting them have an overly negative impact on your life".
The only reason people started giving Bon advice is because he seemed to be missing the bit about helping the person get assistance from somebody who's empowered and capable to help them. As my friend Dr Phil says "long suffering is not 'working on it', you actually have to do something". Bon appears to think that he's suffered a lot, but he didn't indicate that he'd actually taken any steps to remedy the situation.
I think the vast majority of us can see the large middle ground; "give this person as much support as you can, without letting them have an overly negative impact on your life".
The only reason people started giving Bon advice is because he seemed to be missing the bit about helping the person get assistance from somebody who's empowered and capable to help them. As my friend Dr Phil says "long suffering is not 'working on it', you actually have to do something". Bon appears to think that he's suffered a lot, but he didn't indicate that he'd actually taken any steps to remedy the situation.
You think you're the only person that knows people like this? We all do. Its called life.
Grow a pair and deal with it without them turning your 'life to ash' or 'destroying your life'. Bizarre!
Do you mind if i ask how old you are?
Grow a pair and deal with it without them turning your 'life to ash' or 'destroying your life'. Bizarre!
Do you mind if i ask how old you are?
Thats fair enough, i agree with you with one caveat. And that is that people with mental problems often cant help themselves.
They need someone else to guide them to help.
**Now that Bon has explained a bit about the person - sounds like his gf - she doesn't sound bipolar. She sounds like an immature, attention seeker.
They need someone else to guide them to help.
**Now that Bon has explained a bit about the person - sounds like his gf - she doesn't sound bipolar. She sounds like an immature, attention seeker.
Are you being willfully obtuse? You've completely disembarked from the point of my posts. I say that Im not willing to associate with people that I consider toxic (based on their mental problems), and rather than adress that idea, you come up with this ridiculous "its called life" comment.
Precisely what are you implying with your "grow a pair" comment? That I should "grow a pair" and subject myself to the misery of others to whom I owe no friendship or bond of kinship? As if I am somehow obligated to befriend a bunch of lunatics and "support" them? Oh please. By the same token you should go out and find some people without much wealth, "grow a pair", "suck it up" and give them some of your wealth. It's the same thing, except that the currency of the day is financial rather than emotional.
It's my time, my emotional energy, and my choice. I can do whatever I like, so long as I don't hurt anyone, and hurt people I do not.
Oh and I don't at all mind if you ask how old I am...so long as I can ask what your IQ is.
Mate, you go on about bodybuilding like its something special and now you go on about knowing some loonies and how they destroy your life like you're the only one that know people like that.
My point is that its no big deal. Do you you expect to go through life only associating with perfect people that add positivity and sunshine to your life? Thats only limiting yourself.
I though my point was obvious. Grow a pair means you should be able to handle these things in your life without them destroying it.
Heres an analogy for you. Most people ive found that go on about empowerment, self development, only having people in their life that adds positivity etc etc are ironically usually the not so successful ones. In a financial sense or otherwise.
Because they are hiding from and avoiding one of the realities of life. And that is that instead of avoiding this stuff it only contributes to them not being able to handle it.
Rather than saying "i dont want these toxic people in my life as it destroys it" Wouldn't it be a better thing to say "i'm a big enough human being to be able to accept these things in my life and be able to help them and grow at the same time"
Now, im not talking about raving loonies here. I've been down that path myself more than once. Try waking up at 3am to a totally, clinically deranged friend (& flatmate) looming over my bed talking in tongues and threatening my life that if i tell his family of his situation he will kill me.
Thats a different kettle of fish to people that sometimes just need a hand or some time of yours to listen. They are not toxic, as Perp says no one is like that on purpose. They are not out to destroy your life.
And if they do, thats because you let it happen. And that has nothing to with them.
Thats what i mean by 'grow a pair'
My point is that its no big deal. Do you you expect to go through life only associating with perfect people that add positivity and sunshine to your life? Thats only limiting yourself.
I though my point was obvious. Grow a pair means you should be able to handle these things in your life without them destroying it.
Heres an analogy for you. Most people ive found that go on about empowerment, self development, only having people in their life that adds positivity etc etc are ironically usually the not so successful ones. In a financial sense or otherwise.
Because they are hiding from and avoiding one of the realities of life. And that is that instead of avoiding this stuff it only contributes to them not being able to handle it.
Rather than saying "i dont want these toxic people in my life as it destroys it" Wouldn't it be a better thing to say "i'm a big enough human being to be able to accept these things in my life and be able to help them and grow at the same time"
Now, im not talking about raving loonies here. I've been down that path myself more than once. Try waking up at 3am to a totally, clinically deranged friend (& flatmate) looming over my bed talking in tongues and threatening my life that if i tell his family of his situation he will kill me.
Thats a different kettle of fish to people that sometimes just need a hand or some time of yours to listen. They are not toxic, as Perp says no one is like that on purpose. They are not out to destroy your life.
And if they do, thats because you let it happen. And that has nothing to with them.
Thats what i mean by 'grow a pair'
Are you on drugs?
I didnt go on about bodybuilding like it was something special, I replied to a post where some guy wanted some help and effectively said "been there, done it, not reading other replies, PM me if you want my phone number for a chat". I then mentioned it again because you brought it up in this thread. What planet are you living on that such behaviour qualifies as "going on about it like it was something special"?
I dont expect to go through my life like it's all sunshine and roses. But at the same time, I may choose to not walk into a tornado.
I disagree completely. I try to surround myself with the most positive, successful, knowledgeable people possible. I find that groups of such people complement, synergise, and amplify one anothers success/happiness.
Do I have the capacity to weather storms and function while surrounded by bad personalities? Yes. Is it in my interest to do so? No. So I don't.
You still dont seem to understand my thought process, and so I'm going to demonstrate.
I have identified you as being someone that I don't want to associate with. So far you've cost me several minutes typing, and you've made my frown lines worse because I scrunched up my face in puzzlement at your posts, which is going to cost me money in botox in a few years.
So this is how its going to work. You are not going to talk to me any more, and I am not going to talk to you. If you post up something great, I may chime in and say "well done" or something because I'm a polite person, akin to my saying "hi how are you" to previously mentioned loonies and energy vampires, but that's all you're going to get.
Congratulations, you somehow made it into the same spot as people with amphetamine induced psychosis. Nice one.
Ask Sim how to use the ignore button....works great. He developed it for exactly this scenario. Too easy.
Robust discussion is healthy - dont you think?
Dont use the 'ignore button' or stop talking to each other. Difference of opinion and robust discussion is good. As we know from previous posts and life experience, this may actually result in a new dynamic between different people and reinvigorate the environment. I am not suggesting we have an unhealthy, disrespectful posting war but use it as a platform to grow and stretch ourselves and see where it goes and grows.
Dont use the 'ignore button' or stop talking to each other. Difference of opinion and robust discussion is good. As we know from previous posts and life experience, this may actually result in a new dynamic between different people and reinvigorate the environment. I am not suggesting we have an unhealthy, disrespectful posting war but use it as a platform to grow and stretch ourselves and see where it goes and grows.
I think OA has been deeply hurt over a sustained period and is using this forum to let out a bit of that anger and grief. His words have resonated with selfishness and toxicity, and no-one here genuinely approves them. Dealing with mentally ill people is extremely difficult, it does certainly impact on the mental health of their family and friends, and I think OA is suffering fomr this right now. May you get better soon.
Belbo
Belbo
'No-one here ...' Not accurate
I think OA has been deeply hurt over a sustained period and is using this forum to let out a bit of that anger and grief. His words have resonated with selfishness and toxicity, and no-one here genuinely approves them. Dealing with mentally ill people is extremely difficult, it does certainly impact on the mental health of their family and friends, and I think OA is suffering fomr this right now. May you get better soon.
Belbo
Belbo, big statement... and no-one here genuinely approves them. . Not a good idea to speak for all on the forum when it is not true. I disagree that his words have resonated with selfishness and toxicity. I think his words have resonated with someone who has embraced life with both hands and experienced it rather than viewed it and has a balanced arguement for his position because at the end of the day, give or take a few degrees and different scenerios, I think he is spot on.
In life we are given credits of time. How we spend that time will result in how much we have in our life bank at the end of the day or at different milestones. Some would argue, those of us sitting here on the forum talking about Bi-Polar are wasting our credits because we could be putting them to better use and adding value to one of our investments (in a multitude of ways). This is what I believe OA is saying. Who would argue with that position?
I think OA has been deeply hurt over a sustained period and is using this forum to let out a bit of that anger and grief. His words have resonated with selfishness and toxicity, and no-one here genuinely approves them. Dealing with mentally ill people is extremely difficult, it does certainly impact on the mental health of their family and friends, and I think OA is suffering fomr this right now. May you get better soon.
Belbo
Belbo, big statement... and no-one here genuinely approves them. . Not a good idea to speak for all on the forum when it is not true. I disagree that his words have resonated with selfishness and toxicity. I think his words have resonated with someone who has embraced life with both hands and experienced it rather than viewed it and has a balanced arguement for his position because at the end of the day, give or take a few degrees and different scenerios, I think he is spot on.
In life we are given credits of time. How we spend that time will result in how much we have in our life bank at the end of the day or at different milestones. Some would argue, those of us sitting here on the forum talking about Bi-Polar are wasting our credits because we could be putting them to better use and adding value to one of our investments (in a multitude of ways). This is what I believe OA is saying. Who would argue with that position?
I think you're splitting hairs, Samantha. Fair enough, "many", okay?
My point was to say perhaps people should just step back a little and not too indignant about OA's sentiments. I understand them. I've personally lost a sibling to drug-induced psychosis, and it made me angry as hell for a very long time.
We lose a little bit of our humanity when we turn our lives into a balance sheet and try to jettison all liabilities, and I think in our hearts we all know that.
Belbo
My point was to say perhaps people should just step back a little and not too indignant about OA's sentiments. I understand them. I've personally lost a sibling to drug-induced psychosis, and it made me angry as hell for a very long time.
We lose a little bit of our humanity when we turn our lives into a balance sheet and try to jettison all liabilities, and I think in our hearts we all know that.
Belbo
