Dealing with pessimistic attitudes

[vincenzo]

I don't really tell anyone about my investing, but i don't lie about it when asked, so a few people know, and at least a few more have found out through them. I don't cop any attitude, i just get nice comments like "wow" or "that's good", and then there's those that seem to be showing intimidation or something, as they just go "ohh" or "hmmm" whilst looking down or away. The intensity of these responses gets a tiny bit more with each purchase, and that's about it.

Now, enough about me. The wife loves to tell people, allthough i've warned her many times about how people will get jealous, say nasty things, etc, so don't tell more than a couple of your closest friends.

Well she's told most of her friends, and nearly all of them, have always said things like "be carefull" and "do you know what you are doing/getting into" etc but with each purchase, she seems to be copping more flack/higher stress levels when being asked these questions.

One comment she copped today, was "be carefull or you'll lose everything!" and this level of stupidity pissed me off. I feel like going up to that person and telling them off, but it was her boss, so i'm reluctant to do so

I'm sure heaps of you cop the same sort of stuff, so i'm curious how do all you guys deal with it? And what sort of stupidity do you cop?

I've always expected that as the years go by and the portfolio gets bigger, that our results would speak for themselves, eliminating anyone's doubts, setting our credibility in concrete!
I seem to have assumed wrongly however, i roll my eyes when i see negative comments directed at some of the bigger players around here for example... i'd like to know how someone deals with stupid pessimistic comments when they have around 20 years or more in experience, and around $10m or more in assets

 

[Rob Williams]

I tune them out. If I do want to buy into their petty ideas, I ask them to tell me about their investment strategy. That nearly always works.
An accountant recently told me to be careful as I could easily lose 30% - 40% of my value. "It's already happening" he said, with sincerity.
There's no point arguing as that's just an ego thing. It's not about winning. It's not an argument you can win.
Each to their own. I don't allow myself to get distracted with such nonsense. I focus on my own strategies and objectives. What other people think or do is none of my business.

 

[Propertunity]

I think you have to adopt a Jan Somers type strategy. Just don't tell them. If they ask how many properties you have - say a few. When they ask where? - say around the place.

 

[Minxdamanx]

Many people are jealous or fearful. Their attitudes stem often from their upbringing and there is little that you can do to change that.

We don't say much to anyone these days, as we too have had our fair share of such comments. We speak to our (adult) kids and I can talk to my boss who is also an investor, apart from that there is probably just our accountant and broker (and the bank) who have any idea.

Mr Minx used to chat about investment matters to his cousin, who also happens to be his best mate, but we heard a few things by way of the family, so he doesn't say much now.

Really we only answer to one another, Mr Minx is much more cautious than me, which is a good thing, but we don't criticise one another, just listen and discuss - after all it isn't really anyone else's business.

Apart from the two of us, the only people that we share our journey with these days are people like yourself and our 'business support team'. That way we know we won't get any of the rubbish - unless of course the criticism is constructive.

 

[vincenzo]

It's kind of funny how some people just seem to be scared of big numbers

I like the sound of asking them "So what's your investment strategy?" lol i'll have to remember that one!

In a way it kind of helps to get the pessimism, as its like a bit of paranoia trys to attack, so you think about it and logic wins, strengthening your ideas and plans.

 

[BayView]

I don't really tell anyone about my investing, but i don't lie about it when asked, so a few people know, and at least a few more have found out through them. I don't cop any attitude, i just get nice comments like "wow" or "that's good", and then there's those that seem to be showing intimidation or something, as they just go "ohh" or "hmmm" whilst looking down or away. The intensity of these responses gets a tiny bit more with each purchase, and that's about it.

Now, enough about me. The wife loves to tell people, allthough i've warned her many times about how people will get jealous, say nasty things, etc, so don't tell more than a couple of your closest friends.

Well she's told most of her friends, and nearly all of them, have always said things like "be carefull" and "do you know what you are doing/getting into" etc but with each purchase, she seems to be copping more flack/higher stress levels when being asked these questions.

One comment she copped today, was "be carefull or you'll lose everything!" and this level of stupidity pissed me off. I feel like going up to that person and telling them off, but it was her boss, so i'm reluctant to do so

I'm sure heaps of you cop the same sort of stuff, so i'm curious how do all you guys deal with it? And what sort of stupidity do you cop?

I've always expected that as the years go by and the portfolio gets bigger, that our results would speak for themselves, eliminating anyone's doubts, setting our credibility in concrete!
I seem to have assumed wrongly however, i roll my eyes when i see negative comments directed at some of the bigger players around here for example... i'd like to know how someone deals with stupid pessimistic comments when they have around 20 years or more in experience, and around $10m or more in assets

We cop mostly no interest at all.

No comments, no questions - just nothing. So I guess that's the highest form of stupidity.

I've tried to help others not as well off as us, but I'm now sick of seeing glazed-over eyeballs, so keep my mouth shut these days. If they want to learn, they can ask and I'll help if I can.

I sometimes listen in to others who may be talking to another person/s about investing, and I usually sit and listen to their conversation for a bit to guage their level of knowledge and their investment preferences before I join in - their conversations are nearly always about shares or funds etc.

I listen and don't comment, as I don't have much expertise in them. Most people I hear talking shares are usually the "hot tip" types, so I end up not paying attention. I have no interest in hot tips. Most people I've known who follow this stratregy are doing their dough. They have no investing knowledge per se; just the ability to put their cash on the table while the ball is still spinning.

And as for property; well, almost no-one ever talks about investing in that, so I guess they don't invest in property. When they do talk real estate, they all talk about the real estate market, but in a "media" sort of way, and not really about investing.

I've got one mate who thinks he's a bit of a high flyer; pretty good income, nice house in a "postcode" suburb, flashes the success a fair bit; too much car, too much boat etc.

He tells me about this share and that share he's bought, the ones that tanked, "I lost another $10k last month", or; "I bought another $50k of bluechips last month" and stuff like this. A bit of a big-noting I suspect. Meanwhile his porfolio of over $100k in shares is now worth around $50k by last report. He doesn't invest in property, but knows exactly what the markets are doing - just ask him. Funnily, he actually does know what the r/e markets are doing, but never buys any r/e.

We, on the other hand, say and show little to the world. Hence, he knows little about our situation, but knows we own at least two IP's.

He has never once asked me my opinion on anything to do with r/e investing since we bought our first two in 2001. Still hasn't.

I guess he thinks because our outward appearance and lifestyle are not "million dollar" we must not have any clues, therefore why bother asking us.

So, you can't win.

 

[chilliaa]

My suggestion,
1) Tell your wife not to talk about these sought of things, she could end up loosing friends.
2) Who really cares, its your wealth, if you are wrong you will pay the consequences, if you are right you will reap the bennefits. Are we doing this to win some sought of popularity contest, or to improve our futures.

 

[chilliaa]

Bayview your friend sounds like he knows the dynamics of the share market, but he doesnt appreicate the psychology of the share market. The two are very different.

 

[oasis1frog]

My suggestion,
1) Tell your wife not to talk about these sought of things, she could end up loosing friends.

If I tell my wife a secret, the whole world will know the next day !

 

[Player]

Bayview your friend sounds like he knows the dynamics of the share market, but he doesnt appreicate the psychology of the share market. The two are very different.

Exactly. It is a measure of sentiment..... a voting machine.

 

[Collector]

I don't really tell anyone about my investing, but i don't lie about it when asked, so a few people know, and at least a few more have found out through them. I don't cop any attitude, i just get nice comments like "wow" or "that's good", and then there's those that seem to be showing intimidation or something, as they just go "ohh" or "hmmm" whilst looking down or away. The intensity of these responses gets a tiny bit more with each purchase, and that's about it.

Now, enough about me. The wife loves to tell people, allthough i've warned her many times about how people will get jealous, say nasty things, etc, so don't tell more than a couple of your closest friends.

Well she's told most of her friends, and nearly all of them, have always said things like "be carefull" and "do you know what you are doing/getting into" etc but with each purchase, she seems to be copping more flack/higher stress levels when being asked these questions.

One comment she copped today, was "be carefull or you'll lose everything!" and this level of stupidity pissed me off. I feel like going up to that person and telling them off, but it was her boss, so i'm reluctant to do so

I'm sure heaps of you cop the same sort of stuff, so i'm curious how do all you guys deal with it? And what sort of stupidity do you cop?

I've always expected that as the years go by and the portfolio gets bigger, that our results would speak for themselves, eliminating anyone's doubts, setting our credibility in concrete!
I seem to have assumed wrongly however, i roll my eyes when i see negative comments directed at some of the bigger players around here for example... i'd like to know how someone deals with stupid pessimistic comments when they have around 20 years or more in experience, and around $10m or more in assets

Is this a case of your friends being pessimistic or you being paranoid??


Your wife's boss (to me) seems to show a level of care and caution so that by saying to your wife to be careful and by doing so she is being pessimistic and you want to go in and blow this into something it isnt.

With all the talk in the media about the current economy and all the doom and gloom don't you think that to the lay person that investing into multiply properties is a risk?, by a friend or aquanitance commenting that care should be taken such a bad thing - and will such comments effect you anyway?

If you don't want to here negitive coments about property investing why would you put your situation out there to be commented on?


If you tell 100 people your situation and what your investments stragity is, 50 would say congratulations and would ask question like how do you do that whilw the remaining 50 would tell you to be careful (glass half full v glass half empty)


Why would you worry about what other people think anyway?

 

[Rob Williams]

...flashes the success a fair bit; too much car, too much boat etc...
...So, you can't win.

Some people say that too much car is barely enough. I don't get it.
Maybe it's not about winning. Maybe it's just about "being", "doing" and "having".

 

[VYBerlinaV8]

I think that people being silly about this sort of thing is great - less people to compete with for that next bargain. And plenty of rental clients to choose from.

 

[BoatBoy]

I've got one mate who thinks he's a bit of a high flyer; pretty good income, nice house in a "postcode" suburb, flashes the success a fair bit; too much car, too much boat etc.

Wealthy people don't necessarily look wealthy.

Dave

 

[vincenzo]

Is this a case of your friends being pessimistic or you being paranoid??

I guess i am a little paranoid, property investing is a little scary for me, as we are doing this by ourselves, and nearly everyone i know knows nothing about property investing.

I guess i should try and ignore more of the negative attitude i hear about.

Another thing that pisses me off about it, is that my wife has put her faith in me with property investing, and when i hear that people are giving her doom and gloom stories, it pushes my button a bit that she's being put under pressure like that!

 

[ARF]

I haven't been doing this for long... ( I bought my first IP one month ago lol).
When I first mentioned buying an IP to my friends I got the usual "good on you, you'll be setup for life in a few years."

Once I told them I'd signed contracts on a place they all thought I was mad and changed their tunes. Maybe they just thought I was dreaming and gave me the "yeah yeah, good whatever" encouragment. Maybe because I'm only 22, most of my friends are still thinking about buying booze / cars / TVs etc and couldn't believe I had gone and bought an apartment. Meh, who knows...

The only people who supported me were my family and girlfriend, so they'll be the only people worth mentioning things to in the future.

 

[Buying_Freedom]

I ask myself how much property these negative people own and the answer is almost always none or if they do, 1-2 properties. Makes me wonder why I'd take anything they say on board.

I don’t get into debates with them as I find they’re pretty set in their own ways. I have my investment plans written on paper so I refer back to those when I have doubts and surround myself with other likeminded people.

Personally I hate talking about it to anyone other than close friends and family. I don't mention it unless asked. With our latest purchase we actually haven’t told our family as they just seem to get worried. We haven’t lied as they haven’t asked but we just don’t volunteer the information. There’s no need for them to know.

 

[rugrat]

I think it depends where these comments are coming from. Some people say negative things because they are jealous, sceptical, envious - just ignore thes people, not worth your time of day.

Some people say these thing out of genuine (if sometimes misplaced) concern for you welbeing. how you handle these people depends on who they are. Sometimes explainations or assurances will help, sometime they won't. But try to take it as a good thing that they care so much.

Then of course there are those people who think they know everything about everything, but who are (quite frankly) talking out their butt. feel free to do whatever you want to these people, but in my experience these opinionate people will never change, even if you did flash you money around.

 

[Rob Williams]

I ask myself how much property these negative people own and the answer is almost always none or if they do, 1-2 properties. Makes me wonder why I'd take anything they say on board.

I don’t get into debates with them as I find they’re pretty set in their own ways. I have my investment plans written on paper so I refer back to those when I have doubts and surround myself with other likeminded people.

Personally I hate talking about it to anyone other than close friends and family. I don't mention it unless asked. With our latest purchase we actually haven’t told our family as they just seem to get worried. We haven’t lied as they haven’t asked but we just don’t volunteer the information. There’s no need for them to know.

I totally agree. Well said.
When I start to doubt myself or my strategy as a result of negativity from others, I have some great friends I can call or meet up with who help me realign my guidance system and get me back on track.

 

[BayView]

Bayview your friend sounds like he knows the dynamics of the share market, but he doesnt appreicate the psychology of the share market. The two are very different.

Correct.

Also,; he's a classic "lazy investor" - plenty of money to invest, but no time, acts on tips from mates, dollar-cost-averages, and so on.

It's also a bit of a "badge" for him too I suspect; the ability to say; "hey, look at me; I've got $X in shares".

The fact that they are doing well or not is a minor issue.

Some people even like to be able to say they've lost $X just to get a shock reaction.

Sorta like; "I'm so rich, I can cop this big a loss" but without actually saying it.

I'd categorise it as a "passive-aggressive big-note".