Dog's diary

[investor2009]

The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. *******s!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

 

[gottabespotless]

Love it! Thanks for sharing.

 

[dreamgirl]

This is hilarious!

 

[lizzie]

Now that is sooooooo funny ... and soooooo true

My cat had to be in the vets for a day surgery - when I picked him up all the girls said he was the most loving, affectionate cat ever. Everyone who "knows" him swears he must've had a personality transplant while under the gas!

Unfortunately back to his old bitey, attacking, demanding, arrogant self now.

 

[Rolf Latham]

cats have servants

dogs have masters

nice diary : )

ta
rolf

 

[jaycee]

cats have servants

dogs have masters

nice diary : )

ta
rolf

Hard to argue with that...

 

[BMan]

Now that is sooooooo funny ... and soooooo true

My cat had to be in the vets for a day surgery - when I picked him up all the girls said he was the most loving, affectionate cat ever. Everyone who "knows" him swears he must've had a personality transplant while under the gas!

Unfortunately back to his old bitey, attacking, demanding, arrogant self now.

is he desexed?
our cat was "bitey, attacking, demanding, arrogant self" and after losing the balls is quite affectionate still does the odd soft bite but then stops

 

[lizzie]

Nah - was desexed as a mere 10 week kitten (is now 8) ... had his teeth cleaned. But he's always a sook at the vet's or boarding.

 

[Jamie M]

Very funny....and true.

Cheers

Jamie

 

[Mr. Fabulous]

And that, my friends, is why dogs are a million, billion times better than cats.

 

[lizzie]

ah yes - but at least you don't have to take a cat for a walk, feel guilty for being out all day or pick up cat poo ...

p.s. I have one of each and love both (perhaps the dog a bit more - okay - a lot more)

 

[Jamie M]

ah yes - but at least you don't have to take a cat for a walk, feel guilty for being out all day or pick up cat poo ...

p.s. I have one of each and love both (perhaps the dog a bit more - okay - a lot more)

Careful Lizzie - the cat probably saw you write that post.

Cheers

Jamie

 

[kathryn d]

Nah - was desexed as a mere 10 week kitten (is now 8) ... had his teeth cleaned. But he's always a sook at the vet's or boarding.

I never heard of a kitten being desexed at such a young age.
I always thought it was 6 months..minimum.

learn something new every day