I thought the same thing. Hear it all the time on Maury Povich DNA testing shows.
living with girlfriend
- Thread starter JD86
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mate, don't do it, i have seen too many friends get burnt and shafted big time,
ive seen friends who got a girl a visa into the country, 20 mins later is pregnant,
he bought a house as an investment for himself, charger her rent, and got taken for a ride, got sued, child support, because she was doing a cash job, and she had the balls to take him to court for CG during the time she rented.....
what are you going to do if, you move in with her for 1.9 years, and then realise there is nothing wrong but she probably isnt the one for you,
are you just going to dump her saying 2 years is almost up, and Im pretty sure some cunning lawyer can make an excuse and say, 2 years, 1.9 years , same thing..
certainly not worth the risk, and for all the people who are bagging men saying that they are calulcuating devils, I would love to see the reaction if it was the women with 5 IPS and hte man with nothing?
ive seen friends who got a girl a visa into the country, 20 mins later is pregnant,
he bought a house as an investment for himself, charger her rent, and got taken for a ride, got sued, child support, because she was doing a cash job, and she had the balls to take him to court for CG during the time she rented.....
what are you going to do if, you move in with her for 1.9 years, and then realise there is nothing wrong but she probably isnt the one for you,
are you just going to dump her saying 2 years is almost up, and Im pretty sure some cunning lawyer can make an excuse and say, 2 years, 1.9 years , same thing..
certainly not worth the risk, and for all the people who are bagging men saying that they are calulcuating devils, I would love to see the reaction if it was the women with 5 IPS and hte man with nothing?
I think most women on this forum would agree that ANYONE, male or female, needs to protect what they have worked so hard for. I think you are barking up the wrong tree with this comment, at least on this forum
This thread has got me wondering if you can actually get a legal document made up to say who is allowed to have what etc even after you have been married for 2 years? Let's say I have a girlfriend from overseas and she comes over here with nothing... We get married, live together and after 2 years she has citizenship and then could take half of everything I own from my understanding. Is there a way to change that so I could keep my assets and property that I had before we got married if the worst case scenario ever happened?
Really people - are you all so bitter and jaded???
I beleive in protecting yourself, but sheessshh - live a little...
Unless you are fully supporting someone or have been together for a reasonable amount of time, the courts are unlikely to divvie up everything 50/50. In truth most matters (around 95%) are settled privately.
Now if you introduce children into the equation, of course the whole senario changes - but in my opinion it bloody well should. Contrary to what some people may believe, children are the responiblity of BOTH people. If you are adament you don't want kids, then you should take your own precautions to ensure this doesn't happen - don't rely on your partner to do this. But as time shows again and again, people do not need to be living together in order for children to be concieved.
I beleive in protecting yourself, but sheessshh - live a little...
Unless you are fully supporting someone or have been together for a reasonable amount of time, the courts are unlikely to divvie up everything 50/50. In truth most matters (around 95%) are settled privately.
Now if you introduce children into the equation, of course the whole senario changes - but in my opinion it bloody well should. Contrary to what some people may believe, children are the responiblity of BOTH people. If you are adament you don't want kids, then you should take your own precautions to ensure this doesn't happen - don't rely on your partner to do this. But as time shows again and again, people do not need to be living together in order for children to be concieved.
P.Meister:
Actually, as a female, I give very careful consideration to whom I share bodily fluids, a roof and finances with.
I did quite a bit of due diligence on the guys that have been fortunate to share my life...pleased to say I am still very much happily with Mr OO...sharing/creating lots of stuff.
I honestly believe "some" folk do more diligence on buying cars and shoes than giving thought to the attributes on a partner. NOT to say that it will follow through, or stay together in the relationship..we are not fortune tellers.
I work at my relationship, honesty and integrity and core values are a priority with Mr OO, he as a person first, male second, also has those attributes.
I have nested very well.
Good luck with your choices and decisions JD.
Actually, as a female, I give very careful consideration to whom I share bodily fluids, a roof and finances with.
I did quite a bit of due diligence on the guys that have been fortunate to share my life
...pleased to say I am still very much happily with Mr OO...sharing/creating lots of stuff.I honestly believe "some" folk do more diligence on buying cars and shoes than giving thought to the attributes on a partner. NOT to say that it will follow through, or stay together in the relationship..we are not fortune tellers.
I work at my relationship, honesty and integrity and core values are a priority with Mr OO, he as a person first, male second, also has those attributes.
I have nested very well.
Good luck with your choices and decisions JD.
Oooh, another infertility anecdote...Mr OO's cousin and his partner, (she, infertile one), told (and retold) for 2 decades they could not have children.
On cousin's 40th birthday, his partner gave birth their beautiful 4 kg boy.
Miracles do happen.
On cousin's 40th birthday, his partner gave birth their beautiful 4 kg boy.
Miracles do happen.
thanks for the help guys, im not concerned with the children comment, we still use protection etc.
i just want to know if she could take me for half if we broke up
no i wouldnt break up if it got to 1.9 years or whatever some people are saying
i would just like to know where i stand
thanks for the comments
i just want to know if she could take me for half if we broke up
no i wouldnt break up if it got to 1.9 years or whatever some people are saying
i would just like to know where i stand
thanks for the comments
I only just realised you're asking this on the forum as you've heard a bunch of stories and aren't sure what is true and what isn't. Unfortunately all you'll really read here is the same stuff regurgitated (abliet a different variety) and probably a bit of wisdom thrown in.
At the end of the day, to get the final word (and be able to rest easy on the matter) you probably have to speak with a lawyer or other professional. Surely there is a free service somewhere.
If you do this it would be great if you could give back to the forum by posting their response.
At a guess I'd say that each situation is different and it's what 'a reasonable person' could argue. I've heard stuff like 'make sure to charge rent' but again it's all second/third/fourth? hand information.
At the end of the day, to get the final word (and be able to rest easy on the matter) you probably have to speak with a lawyer or other professional. Surely there is a free service somewhere.
If you do this it would be great if you could give back to the forum by posting their response.
At a guess I'd say that each situation is different and it's what 'a reasonable person' could argue. I've heard stuff like 'make sure to charge rent' but again it's all second/third/fourth? hand information.
I think the other thing for me is...talking issues over with the party concerned.
Mr OO and I had the fortunate circumstances to walk into our relationship with equal material possessions/footing.
IF I was heading into "another" relationship, there would be discussion with my-to-be-new partner about assets in the event we don't last as a partnership.
I would go into those discussions with diligence as properly acquired as possible, meaning I see no harm whatsoever to see legal guidance/information.
Doing forum thing is good and well, these guys have a plethora of life experiences and opinions and qualifications but ultimately, ULTIMATELY my choices and behaviour is my own responsibility.
Do Your Own Due Diligence. Thoroughly as possible.
1....2....3 or 5 years down the road for me, whatever happens in my new relationship, I don't blame:
1. Partner
1.3 Men/women-anything in between..
2.Blue winged fairies
3.Government
3.5. Some obscure forum and forumites...that may or may not know a little/lot about property
4.Legal system
Etc....it is my choice that I made and my due diligence. You share my bed, body fluids, house, finances etc I want to know about you, where I stand with you. Possible outcomes. So, I discuss it with you.
For both parties in a relationship: this maybe of some assistance or a stepping stone to finding answers for both of you:
http://www.fido.gov.au/fido/fido.ns...lies+and+relationship+breakdowns?openDocument
Mr OO and I had the fortunate circumstances to walk into our relationship with equal material possessions/footing.
IF I was heading into "another" relationship, there would be discussion with my-to-be-new partner about assets in the event we don't last as a partnership.
I would go into those discussions with diligence as properly acquired as possible, meaning I see no harm whatsoever to see legal guidance/information.
Doing forum thing is good and well, these guys have a plethora of life experiences and opinions and qualifications but ultimately, ULTIMATELY my choices and behaviour is my own responsibility.
Do Your Own Due Diligence. Thoroughly as possible.
1....2....3 or 5 years down the road for me, whatever happens in my new relationship, I don't blame:
1. Partner
1.3 Men/women-anything in between..
2.Blue winged fairies
3.Government
3.5. Some obscure forum and forumites...that may or may not know a little/lot about property
4.Legal system
Etc....it is my choice that I made and my due diligence. You share my bed, body fluids, house, finances etc I want to know about you, where I stand with you. Possible outcomes. So, I discuss it with you.
For both parties in a relationship: this maybe of some assistance or a stepping stone to finding answers for both of you:
http://www.fido.gov.au/fido/fido.ns...lies+and+relationship+breakdowns?openDocument
Huh?
I've just re-read the posts but can find anyone that is guilty of this.If anything, posters have been saying be careful of the female in this situation.
Here is a bit more, same site, further down:
http://www.fido.gov.au/fido/fido.nsf/byheadline/Changing+relationships?openDocument
http://www.fido.gov.au/fido/fido.nsf/byheadline/Changing+relationships?openDocument
You have good concerns and raise good points....I would suggest getting a Pre-Nup.....
Wife and I decided to get one prior to marriage.....yes, it destroys those thoughts we sometimes have of love and innocence....little bit dissapointing to be honest......but the thing is, if you breakup and it gets ugly, then you're definately breaking up with a person you didn't originally meet
things get nasty, people get emotional.....and they tend to do bad things
So try to protect yourself....
Btw, you could also turn this around and say that whatever your partner had before she met you, is hers only (I'm stating the obvious I know)....doesn't matter if your all peachy for the next 10 years, you have no right to it because it was aquired before you were in the picture.
my 2.5 cents...
Wife and I decided to get one prior to marriage.....yes, it destroys those thoughts we sometimes have of love and innocence....little bit dissapointing to be honest......but the thing is, if you breakup and it gets ugly, then you're definately breaking up with a person you didn't originally meet
things get nasty, people get emotional.....and they tend to do bad things
So try to protect yourself....
Btw, you could also turn this around and say that whatever your partner had before she met you, is hers only (I'm stating the obvious I know)....doesn't matter if your all peachy for the next 10 years, you have no right to it because it was aquired before you were in the picture.
my 2.5 cents...
My fiancee and I have talked about it now and again. We're realistic, we love each other but do realise life can change.
She's offered to sign a pre-nup for me but I don't feel the need. I don't think they're worth a lot, and once kids come in - forget it, judge can put the pre-nup aside and decide whatever he wants (correct me if I'm wrong the lawyers amongst us?). If the worst ever does happen, we're both sensible people and would want a quick finish to any asset discussions (she's seen it get ugly for her mum, and we're currently seeing it get ugly for my sister/BIL). Oh unless I cheat on her, then she's told me she'll take me to the cleaners.
Also to be fair, whilst I've accumulated a lot of assets before I met her, I've also accumulated a lot since we've been together. Her support has helped me get to the current stage, so I wouldn't begrudge giving her a portion of that anyway.
An extra solution to the problem is to accumulate an asset position large enough, that even 50% of it is a large sum.
She's offered to sign a pre-nup for me but I don't feel the need. I don't think they're worth a lot, and once kids come in - forget it, judge can put the pre-nup aside and decide whatever he wants (correct me if I'm wrong the lawyers amongst us?). If the worst ever does happen, we're both sensible people and would want a quick finish to any asset discussions (she's seen it get ugly for her mum, and we're currently seeing it get ugly for my sister/BIL). Oh unless I cheat on her, then she's told me she'll take me to the cleaners.
Also to be fair, whilst I've accumulated a lot of assets before I met her, I've also accumulated a lot since we've been together. Her support has helped me get to the current stage, so I wouldn't begrudge giving her a portion of that anyway.
An extra solution to the problem is to accumulate an asset position large enough, that even 50% of it is a large sum.
If she moves in; you are GONE.
After 12 months, the law sees you as a couple and she gets her "fair" share.
Like Paul McCartney, who cares about 30 odd million although I would cringe if I had to give a cent to that. I guess you have to see it coming, even I could see that one, she just gave that vibe!An extra solution to the problem is to accumulate an asset position large enough, that even 50% of it is a large sum.
I haven't had to do this, but, have also thought you could turn it around like this;
'I'm in 2 million of debt, and by signing this it ensures you are protected and they won't go after you for the money'
In asset protection there are three walls
- Insurance (not available in this option, well, unless you include 'being a good partner')
- Ownership structures
- Debt
If you are still in acquisition phase and are constantly leveraging up and up, buying more and almost always have a LVR of 80-90% then there would be nothing left if you sold up anyway after CGT, agents, etc.
Would they still 'go after' you? I don't know.
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