Moving from Being a Tight A*&e

[jaycee]

Totally agree. I've always been good with money (grew up poor). Always saved and not wasted money on things I won't want a year later. But I spend money on things I enjoy. I'm not into material possessions (well- except houses)

I spend A LOT of money traveling. But it's my passion and I've waited 40 years to do it. I budget carefully, stay in cheaper hotels and travel local transport or budget tours.

Friends (who earn more than us) say "how do you afford it?" They like to go out to dinner several times a week, go top the movies, buy expensive food etc.
Everyone to their own.
I'd rather shop at Aldi and use the savings to travel.

We struggled while I was at Uni and lived on next to nothing. As you earn more, you spend more. We earn decent money and spend on things we want (rather than need) but I could never bring myself to pay for something I didn't feel was value for money (to me). As Kathryn said- if it's worth it to you, then it's value to you. Everyone views this differently.

Someone once asked me why I "waste" all that money traveling when you've got nothing to see for your money and you could buy new furniture or something you can keep. They obviously haven't traveled.

So getting back to the topic I think your attitude to money doesn't change. I have a VERY rich relative who is VERY lousy. Won't spend a cent.

Most people I think ease up as money becomes more abundant but don't change their core attitudes. If I was stinking rich I still couldn't spend $1000 on a handbag. But I would up my class of hotel and ship cabin.
And I always cross my fingers for Business class.
If you can't enjoy having money- what's the point of having it?

PS- Off to Hungary, Serbia, Montenegro and Croatia on Sunday.

Enjoy the holiday !

 

[kathryn d]

I am still frugal, but no-where near the tight-a$$ I used to be. I actually aspire to house-sit our way around Oz, like Kathryn does, when we do the big grey nomad outback thing. No $100,ooo caravans and Range Rover Discoveries for this bunny.

There was a couple here a few weeks ago and they referred to themselves as "OPAL" (older persons alternate lifestyle)
That is what we call ourselves now..since neither of us have grey hair

 

[AndrewT]

When I was younger, our family was quite poor. We had a single income family, 3 kids and no parental support payments. As a kid, you don't realise as you just make the best of what you have and I can't say I can remember too many 'hard' times. Although I do think this is a huge credit to my Mum! Now she tells me stories about how there was always food on the table for us kids, but that wasn't always the case for her. So we never really had all the fancy toys, latest crazes and lived quite simply. Although we did have a beautiful German Sheppard - gorgeous dog. In fact, apparently at our poorest stage we were actually having baked beans on bread numerous times a week and usually our treat night was a charcoal chicken ( I can always remember going to the chicken shop, mmmmm )...came home and put it on bench. Mum had walked away from it for what ever reason and we came back to no chicken! Found our dog up the back enjoying the meal of it's life - lucky it didn't choke on cooked chicken bones, although we probably wished it had after having to have another baked bean dinner! hehe

After I had left school and started working full time - I used to work hard and hold onto every dollar I got, loved the feeling of having money in my account....until I started falling in love with mucking around with cars. Soon after that, I started focusing all of my money into cars (Ah! If only it was property!!!) but I was still a tight **** in a sense because I would try and save every cent so I could so at the end of the day I could do what made me happy.

Nowadays it is quite a similar story, I still work hard and value every dollar I make. My partner and I enjoy our once a week nights out, whether it be at the local sports club or fancy restaurant. The thing is, we allow this in our budget. Friends, I am sure, think we are tight arses but it is a matter of each to their own. Friends I know go out every weekend, and sometimes weeknights too, and come back on a Monday complaining about how they have no money left for rent! I just can't justify spending that sort of money on something that can hardly be remembered the week after.

To me, if I am going to buy something, it has to give us good value for my partner and I otherwise it isn't worth buying. Overall, you need to live because you only get one chance. So live your life how you want, but knowing that your actions today will affect the end result tomorrow or down the track.

Much like some people consume large amounts of drugs and alcohol while partying, it might be awesome now but when your medically in a bad position in the future there is only one person to blame and thats them because of the decisions they made.

So if someone wants to tell me I am a tightarse for not partying every weekend like other's my age then so be it, I am being a tightarse now so I can enjoy what I want in the future. But in 20 or 30 years people will call most of you successful investors 'Lucky', when they don't realise that everyone creates their only luck and thats what you all did 20 to 30 years ago!!

 

[our obsession]

Great thread, I know what it's like to have very little in material possession way, let alone basic needs, and yet I never 'felt poor'.

I do believe it (my background) has helped shaped my determination to become as financially independent as possible. The interesting thing I've learnt while on this journey is that materialism is still not any kind of priority, nothing wrong with it, just isn't happening with me. Yet I can be wasteful.

To original poster, hope you find your middle ground and life is okay.

To Kath, Andrew and Angel you both make me smile, having fun, just being yourselves, wealth or no wealth, and a lot to share with us not so savvy squirrels. Love it.

Opals=gems.

 

[matto_]

Thanks

Dear All,

Thanks for your considered replies. Bit short of time this morning, but will drop back by and reply fully.

Suffice to say - we have taken a similar tack as everybody has mentioned. ie. spend money on the things we enjoy, and also see value in (travel, food, hobbies).

Thanks again.

Matto.

 

[virgo]

Tight a##$@@

Hiya

My mum gave me 2 bits of advice when we girls were growing up:

1) Never date a tight a##@@$$$: if he is tight with money, he will be tight with love (also tight does not equate thrifty...many people confuse the two!)

2) If small money cannot go out, big money will not come in


I now pass this advice to my (only) precious daughter.....

 

[matto_]

Bit more time for a better reply.

Again - thanks for all of the discussion. This topic has been on my mind for a while and always good to get confirmation/additional ideas.

@BigTone

"once a tigha**e" always a tighta**e"

That is definitely a major concern of mine - however I am hoping that our reasoning will prevail

@ Kathryn D

As the resident tight as* here,

I am not sure who is our resident Tight A*&e here - however am very grateful that we are both have similar mindsets - would be difficult if one went out and spent on frivolous items, and the other was extraordinarily miserly.

Spending money is not the problem.
Deciding you are actually getting a reasonalable value for it is.

Absolutely agree with you. We have had a number of o/s holidays - travelling in the style we are comfortable with (backpackers, cheap midday meals) however we would always set aside some money for a really nice meal (or two) out. New bubs will probably change this sort of travelling, however I presume the mindset wont change.

@ Bayview

I think a good idea might be to allocate a % of your nett income to a "spending account".

I like this concept which could be done physically or virtually (ie. allot a certain amount within your budget over a period), which I essentially do. My current hobby is kiteboarding. A large number of people buy completely new gear every year. Me on the other hand - have the same gear I have had for the last couple of years. I still have the same enjoyment as others, however just dont have the crinkly/new gear feel when I get my kite out of the bag.

@ dajackal

life is too short to be a tight ar$e!

for me that means 2 overseas vacations with my wife a year

I reckon this will be a mainstay for us (was hoping that a year of travel, along with another two 1.5-3 month stints would solve the travel bug).

@ pennyk

I'm not sure that I've ever been that "tight" with money.... but I certainly have found it fairly easy to develop more expensive tastes!!

and
@ Tony3008

If I was buying another car it would be a Toyota or similar, not a Kia or an Audi, and then a Corolla not something unnecessarily big.

This was at the heart of what I have been contemplating. I have a 1996 bomb that we drive around - have always liked the idea of havuing a nice car but havent been able to justify it. Wondering whether - when we get to $2mil of clear funds whether I will splash out on a new-er car

@ MsAli

Have you read The Richest Man in Babylon? It talks about saving 1/10th of your income, using 2/10th to pay debts and 7/10ths for your life....

I have read the CLASSIC tale by George S Classon a number of times - and still think back to its wisdom within. What an amazing book. Agreed - if you are able to align with those rough percentages the world is your oyster.

@ Angel

Another fifteen years later and we have long since paid off the PPOR, been on a 5star trip to Canada and Alaska, budget-class travelled over much of Oz and I alternate my time between considering our third IP purchase and our next overseas trip.

I am still frugal, but no-where near the tight-a$$ I used to be.

You give us hope. I still cant even contemplate 5-star - maybe that will change in time

@ Y-Man

Need to question you mindset there - budgeting as a way to controlling costs AND building up means of income I can understand (even if that is by paying off debt). Words can play a surprisingly large part in your thinking and outlook.

For us - it's more about function over form (and function over frugality too).

Having said that, I do love to spend on things like painting gear, power tools, etc (bonus! - tax deductible), exotic fruit trees

With you 100% here. Although I still feel guilty, and have to justify when I spend the money - ie. thinking of how much interest the 2k would be off-setting if it were in our IP account. But you are right, you have to have an outlet, and something to look forward to.

@ travelbug
enjoy the hols - done some touring through those places, and all are really amazing to see.

@ AndrewT
This is one of our indulgences we have paired back on a little (going out). You are right - it is very easy to spend a cool coupla hundred bucks in an evening without blinking an eye. I sometimes miss those days of flittering dollar bills up against5 the wall - however there are other things in life.

@ Our obession

To original poster, hope you find your middle ground and life is okay.

In the process of finding our middle ground. (part of the process was to explore a bit further with like-minded individuals). We have never really gone without - however when we have "splurged" we have always had to either justify it, or felt guilty about it. One of the things we are working on.

==============

Now for our current conundrum - at what point do we bite the bullet and move from the place we are currently renting (at WAY under market value - rent has stayed same in last 6 years **touches wood**) to somewhere which is nice, and we are happy to "show off".

 

[ali]

I'm not a tight ***. I'm just lucky that shopping really, really bores me.
Cheers Ali

 

[Angel]

"I still cant even contemplate 5-star - maybe that will change in time "

I actually got sick of eating five star silver service, but heck, it came with the cruise. The tour was from Evergreen, the budget version of Scenic Tours. The same 26 day tour was about $5000 to $6000 cheaper than the Scenic version and we had to suffer staying in hotels like Hilton, Fairmont and Marriott some nights. O well, I do have a list of 3 star pensions in Europe that cost under AU$100 a night, courtesy of like-minded travellers on another forum I frequent.

I can positively confirm that you will see all the snow-capped mountains you can ever handle going budget-class on the Rocky Mountaineer train journey.

 

[jaycee]

"I still cant even contemplate 5-star - maybe that will change in time "

I actually got sick of eating five star silver service, but heck, it came with the cruise. The tour was from Evergreen, the budget version of Scenic Tours. The same 26 day tour was about $5000 to $6000 cheaper than the Scenic version and we had to suffer staying in hotels like Hilton, Fairmont and Marriott some nights. O well, I do have a list of 3 star pensions in Europe that cost under AU$100 a night, courtesy of like-minded travellers on another forum I frequent.

I can positively confirm that you will see all the snow-capped mountains you can ever handle going budget-class on the Rocky Mountaineer train journey.

expensive for the sake of it when you don't know /care otherwise is pretentiousness

ridin gon the back of a tracotr from avillage ot the town to catch a connecting bus i sone of the best memories of a european holiday

but another fine memory is a beautiful dinner at a silver service restaurant which wasn't a cheap night out, but it was appropriate and I felt we both found it very worthwhile...

 

[Angel]

Or camping on the shores of a wet Lake Eyre in 1976 - that was one school excursion never to be outdone. No air-con, no 4wd vehicles, no bitumin roads in those days.

Or getting your fully-laden motorbike carried across an impassable muddy riverbank in the Qld outback in the bucket of the farmer's D10

 

[devank]

Cannot resist buying cloths for my 1.5 and 3 year olds! I can’t believe I even enjoy doing that kind of shopping!
OR
I can't stop buying my moring coffee either!

What’s the point in collecting money if we can’t enjoy it now?

 

[pieman]

I believe I've made the transition.
When I was in my late 20's it was all about "saving up" for the next purchase and paying down debt. For a period there, I use to cook a pasta on Monday which I'd eat on Tuesday and Wednesday (when it was on the turn). My outgoings were super slim and then I'd work as much OT as possible so I was saving a K a week in the late 90's. All good.

As my wage grew and after I got married and purchased the big old knockdown in Hampton, I was still a tightarsse as we went to 1 income when my darlings arrived.
A redundancy eased the pain and I've been contracting for 6 years on a solid income. We've paid off all non-deductable debt and even with private school fees/trips OS etc we are saving. Although rarely wasteful, if I really want something, ill buy it which I never would have done 10 years ago. The kids will still get a large inheritance, so they'll be fine.

 

[daniellee]

Hiya

My mum gave me 2 bits of advice when we girls were growing up:

1) Never date a tight a##@@$$$: if he is tight with money, he will be tight with love (also tight does not equate thrifty...many people confuse the two!)

2) If small money cannot go out, big money will not come in


I now pass this advice to my (only) precious daughter.....

Hi,

That's a classic. My MIL said the same thing to my wife when we started dating:

1. "If the guy is not spending big, he is not caring for you"
2. "Why date the boy next door, it is like dating someone from the same village."
3. "His parents are divorced, so the apple does not fall far from the tree."

Regards,

Daniel Lee

 

[kathryn d]

Hi,

That's a classic. My MIL said the same thing to my wife when we started dating:

1. "If the guy is not spending big, he is not caring for you"
2. "Why date the boy next door, it is like dating someone from the same village."
3. "His parents are divorced, so the apple does not fall far from the tree."

Regards,

Daniel Lee

Gold diggers don't fall far from the tree either, I guess?

 

[marg4000]

My generation were recycling and reusing before it was trendy to be "green".

Now we are minimising our carbon footprint.
Marg

 

[jaycee]

My generation were recycling and reusing before it was trendy to be "green".

Now we are minimising our carbon footprint.
Marg

Yeah but you were doing it out of common sense and a sort of understanding of the world around you.. ....how daggy...

the reason we do it now is cause of all the hype & wanting to be cool

I think it's obvious who wins

 

[matto_]

Thanks again for replies.

Was reading the Berkshire AGM thread - and thinking that Wazza (Mr Buffet, Legend etc.) is the ultimate of what we have all been referring to.

He is worth billions of $'s and yet he lives in the same house he has lived in for the past 60 years (a long time anyway).

Now there is someone that could afford to splurge on the finer things in life but obviously doesnt see the need to.

I wonder if it is a case of he just cant justify it?

 

[Rixter]

My generation were recycling and reusing before it was trendy to be "green".

Marg

Geeze Marg I didnt realise you are so old.

 

[marg4000]

Geeze Marg I didnt realise you are so old.

Had a birthday recently. Admitted to being in my early 60s and my charming little grandson said "I thought you were 84"!!

Just as well he is cute.
Marg