My Story...Advice needed....

[alexlee]

Being a nice guy has a price. The question is, in this situation, whether you actually have the means to pay that price. In my opinion, you don't.

Talk to a lawyer. Get out of the situation in the cleanest way possible. In my opinion, that involves selling the property. Make SURE the method of resolution means you do NOT have anything further to do with the loan, the property, or your ex. Don't go for that 'I'll just leave my name on the title or the loan just so she can keep living in it'. Get out, you don't have to be a complete bas*ard about it, but you have to have an objective in mind.

And for crying out loud, next time do NOT buy a property unless you control it fully. Don't go for that buying in someone else's name thing, either (unless it's through an entity you and you alone control). There are some great lessons to be learned in your story: I wish you didn't have to experience it yourself, but don't make the same mistakes.

If you want to help people, it's much better to do it from a position of strength. Make money, THEN help people.
Alex

 

[MCS_80]

Thanks for the replies...

I am greatfull I registered on this forum now, ive picked as much information in the last few hours as I have the last few monthes.

Cheers


Mick

 

[Novar]

Thanks for the replies...

I am greatfull I registered on this forum now, ive picked as much information in the last few hours as I have the last few monthes.

Cheers


Mick

Don't get in a tangle about this. It was a mistake, it's done, now you need to find out where you stand and then think carefully over your options coming up with the best you can for YOUR situation first and consideration for your friend second (if possible.) If not you have to do what you have to do to move on.

No rush, once you know the facts, think it over awhile and then make your moves.

Merry Christmas

 

[Welcome]

In regards to the loan, I pay it back but her name is on it also. The only reason her name is on it was so I could borrow enough to pay for half the house.

So that $154k loan is all yours? And your share of the house is half of $210k so $105k? That's some high gearing right there! If you sell it won't you have to find $50k+ to pay out the loan?

 

[MCS_80]

So that $154k loan is all yours? And your share of the house is half of $210k so $105k? That's some high gearing right there! If you sell it won't you have to find $50k+ to pay out the loan?

Yep. Thats what hole im in I guess...

 

[kathryn d]

This idea may go against the grain with other here.

Would you and your EX be able buy more properties together?
Might sound worse, but if you and your EX can work together in a buisness venture, buying as Tenants in Common.
Look at it this way, without you buying that house together, could you have purchased a house by yourself?

After you both buy enough then split up the properties and profit. This may be enough for her to have a home with no mortgage. Then she can start buying properties in her own name and create wealth if she wanted to.The same would be true for you.

Before your 6 years are up, you may want to consider moving back into the house with your EX to keep it as your PPOR.My EX and I lived for a year living separately in the same house.

 

[skater]

Let's see if I've got this straight. You are on a low income of $35k. You bought a house with your ex-girlfriend valued at $210k with a loan of $156k. You are now living with your parents, while your ex lives in your house. I presume that your ex is not paying anything towards the loan. I also presume you are not paying your parents anything for the pleasure of your company.

If the above is correct there are clearly some winners & losers in this scenario. Your ex is the clear winner. She gets to live for free in a house that you are paying for. I can see she would be very happy with this.

The biggest losers are your parents. They are supporting an adult child who is working full time, but cannot support himself as he is supporting his ex girlfriend. You say that you do this because you are a nice guy, but think about what you are doing to your parents. Who is more important to you, your parents or your ex. Now if they are like most parents they won't complain, they will just do it because they love you, but that is not the point. You owe it to them to get yourself out of this situation.

The second loser is yourself. Paying for an asset that you don't use.

Do everybody a favour, see a solicitor & start the process of getting out of this mess. Everyone can move on from there.

 

[GordonGekko]

as per a previous post , stop being so nice! , be nice when you can afford to be nice! .. dont be such a doormat!

i was like you nice and all for my first 30 yrs and it got me no where except being used and abused... the women i met was plain bored of my goodness after a while... now where im looking out for no.1. life is a bit more fun ....

so come on ... join the dark side!

 

[poidda]

So that $154k loan is all yours? And your share of the house is half of $210k so $105k? That's some high gearing right there! If you sell it won't you have to find $50k+ to pay out the loan?

Yeah and on the flip side of this, wont the ex end up with $105k cash from this sale? I think that's a more than "nice" enough pocket full of cash to keep her off the street. You were in a defacto relationship. Split the Assets, Sell the house, Split the Loan, and you walk away with a 25k debt, while the ex has $80k in the pocket. You're solicitor will probably tell you to split it all again so you walk away with $27.5k each.

 

[tubs]

And besides, you did her the favour, by coming to the rescue and helping her hold onto the house. If you didnt, she would have lost it years ago.

Also, she needs to remember that since you hold half of it, any capital gains it makes are half yours, so it becomes more and more expensive for her to buy you out as time goes by.

 

[The Y-man]

... redrawing off the house’s equity to fund my luxuries....

"My" or "Our"?

Cheers,

The Y-man

p.s. what the heck is a "bog boy"?

 

[MCS_80]

Thanks again for the replies everyone.

Keep them coming, they are greatly appreciated.

Cheers

Mick

 

[MCS_80]

"My" or "Our"?

Cheers,

The Y-man

p.s. what the heck is a "bog boy"?

Nah, all mine. I was young and dumb. (not sure much has changed)

"Bog Boy" is what happens when I hit "O" instead of "I"...Hahaha....

Cheers

Mick

 

[JoannaK]

would you Ex consent to changing the ownership from Joint Tenants to Tenants In Common?

If she would, that would allow you to sell your half and she has absolutely no say over it at all.

I would be speaking to a lawyer quicksmart. Learn your lessons and move on.

 

[MCS_80]

would you Ex consent to changing the ownership from Joint Tenants to Tenants In Common?

Yeh, I could probably get that done, but who would want to buy half a house?...

 

[wylie]

Does your ex have any siblings who could perhaps help her to buy your half, or themselves buy your half so they own the house with their sister?

Wylie

 

[MCS_80]

Does your ex have any siblings who could perhaps help her to buy your half, or themselves buy your half so they own the house with their sister?

Wylie

Nah, she only has one sister and she is who owned my half of the house before I brought it. Ill be seeing a solicitor in the new year, and going over some of my options...

 

[coffee]

A quick question MCS-80,

Why didn't your X's buy the other sister out of her half of the house ? was it because your X's was on a pension ?

Are you looking at selling because you dug a personel luxuries $56,000 ? debt yourself and want to climb out of that hole.

Whats the best WIN - WIN for both parties, your X's get's to keep the house in her name and also her future accomodation is securited (spelling).

You walk away Tall feeling that both parties are in the best position for the future.

Geoff

 

[willair]

You are still only young,but you will look back on this bump in your investment road in several years time and think how you handled this situation just ask yourself one question what do you want,it's no good going off with a head full of steam just be upfront with your ex,tell her what you want,give her six months to sort out the mess,if nothing happens then employ a Solicitor who deals in this everyday and pay the price.willair..

 

[MCS_80]

Thanks for the replies. Its really opening my mind.

The only way I can see any Win-Win situation is if I get to use all of the built up equity in the house to purchase furutre IP with the ex's consent, and make sure that its organised in a way that my interests are protected as much as I can I guess...

If it sells, im left with atleast a $50k debt with nothing to show for it but a lesson to learn. Im going to research a way I can turn this negative into a positive.

Once again thanyou for the replies, keep them coming.

Cheers

Mick