peer pressure

[The Y-man]

People who see wealth being what you have, not your net worth. My partner and I feel sometimes that we are being left behind despite knowing full well we are in a far better financial situation than anyone we know.

Hi Wealthyjay,

From what you wrote here, would I be correct in that you would be fairly "covert" about your investment activities - and this is leading to some frustrations in your mind?

I suppose the way I personally got around this was being pretty open about my property portfolio - I have a "conquest map" on my wall at work - a map with round stickers where my properties are. Yes, people do "see wealth being what you have" - and when they start seeing more little round stickers, they understand.

I know this sounds stupid and arrogant, but I honestly wanted this to be a sort of wake up call to my colleagues - "Hey, I work here, similar pay, similar career - how many dots have you got?". It sort of backfired - now I get every Tom, Dick and Harry coming up for all sorts of advice, 80% of which I am in absolutely no position to answer (I send them off to my accountant, financial planner, lawyer, or this forum).

When you have become the big fish in a small pond, perhaps it is time to seek a bigger pond.

Cheers,

The Y-man

 

[The Y-man]

- what if I lose all my possesions due to an inforeseen disaster

--------------------------------------------
Never loose sight of the big picture.

This is what insurance is for..... one of things I learnt last weekend (a BFO if you will): "insurance is a leveraged way of providing security"


Cheers,

The Y-man

 

[Ali G]

What I find hard to overcome is ... the ever increasing trend in young ladies who are only attracted to affluent boys with their toys

I hear guys say this a lot but have not heard a girl say this once. Have you?

Wealthyjay, I hear you. I am a (long-time) full-time student and see my education as my biggest investment in my future for the moment. Meanwhile, all of my friends have moved on and are doing the "nice house, nice car, big wedding" routine. At times you can't help but feel you are missing out on something or being left behind. In reality, you have your plan and you are sticking to it. Much like everyone else commented, you are foregoing a little in the short-term for much much more in the medium- to long-term.

Keep focused. You know what is right for you, so stick to your guns! Don't be swayed by people who want you to do as they do, only to confirm their own beliefs about what is 'right'. They might feel sorry for you that you don't have the latest XYZ but you know it is your choice not to!

Perhaps that is what it comes down to; choice. You currently have, and will always have, far more choice than the Jones', because you have already chosen to walk down a different path.

 

[wealthyjay]

Thanks Ali, thats me exactly. WE know where WE are going.

Y-man, I don't think we are being covert, more like humble in our approach. There is no need to advertise, and cockiness leads to humility. None of our friends are into wealth creation, more likely they are into affluence under the illusion of wealth, so conversations on the matter always end up like talking to brick walls. therefore, we quietly go about our business knowing that we will be on top in the long run.

 

[House_Keeper]

Hi all

First of all, I want to say hello to all as this is my first post in what I hope will be an interesting and fruitful time here Am a relative Newby when it comes to investments and wealth after "waking up" a few years ago after reading Rich Dad Poor Dad, and it just snowballed from there I have a property in Perth which is doing rather well, and am now in the process of consolodating and saving before investing more seriously. I have a lot to learn, but it should be fun,

Anyway, I have a question for you all. How do you guys deal with the pressure from peers to do what I see as consume ie heavy debt, big houses, cars, toys etc? People who see wealth being what you have, not your net worth. My partner and I feel sometimes that we are being left behind despite knowing full well we are in a far better financial situation than anyone we know. We know we can full well afford these things, but choose not to because it is not in our long term best interests. What do you reckon?

Welcome to the forum, wealthyjay.

It depends on personalities. I noticed that, when I was young, I was very comfortable being very different from the rest of the crowd, while others were seeking safety in the crowd. People have different aptitudes to deal with this.

One thing that might help you is how you think about things. For example, when you see someone showing off his new car, think about the financial burden he has put om himself, and the consequences for long-term financial wealth.

Another thing that helps us is seeing how some of our friends operate. We know of some who always have the latest gadgets. We also know that they are the one who can barely pay their credit card debt. They argue over money constantly, to the detriment of their relationship.

Keep in mind that there are a lot of people out there who focus on looking good. Yet, if you could look behind the mask, you would see an unhappy relationship, neglected kids, and enough to make you realise that this is not as good as it looks.

Stick with people who are going where you want to go. That's what makes this forum so valuable.

Cheers,

 

[Peter 14.7]

Hi all

First of all, I want to say hello to all as this is my first post in what I hope will be an interesting and fruitful time here Am a relative Newby when it comes to investments and wealth after "waking up" a few years ago after reading Rich Dad Poor Dad, and it just snowballed from there I have a property in Perth which is doing rather well, and am now in the process of consolodating and saving before investing more seriously. I have a lot to learn, but it should be fun,

Anyway, I have a question for you all. How do you guys deal with the pressure from peers to do what I see as consume ie heavy debt, big houses, cars, toys etc? People who see wealth being what you have, not your net worth. My partner and I feel sometimes that we are being left behind despite knowing full well we are in a far better financial situation than anyone we know. We know we can full well afford these things, but choose not to because it is not in our long term best interests. What do you reckon?

Humm, recently we sold up some propoert and paid off everything and had $$$$ in the bank. We went on a little slurge to reward our hard work to get there. As you should. We then started to crrep up in our spending, tickets to shows, flights to Melbourne, etc...

So to get back to beeing saving mindset, my wife puts all spare cash in and ING direct account and that helps keep me "hungrey" If you go the ATM and it say $1k balance versus $30k it makes a real diff.

I know it is silly. But it is the new DVD player for $289 verus $300. It feels cheaper when it only $11 bucks less.

When i see $1237.50 in the acct I think a little more about purchases.

Peter 147

 

[Merovingian]

IMO the younger generation aged between 25-18 who have come to realise what needs to be done to achieve financial freedom has the most peer pressure to overcome.

In my own case, I have just turned 23 and for the past 3 years have come to realise the power of compound interest and other wealth creating techniques. This year I have managed to trade over 100K worth of shares, and saved up enough deposit for an IP.

Well, congratulations on your achievements thus far. I am a mere 20, and trying to learn as much as I can now. As for the peer pressure thing, I don't see it as a problem. I just look at my goals and where I am today, and think of the rod less travelled, which will take me there. That is the path I have chosen, and no one is going to steer me from it. I feel that if others don't want to invest, then that is their decision...

What I find hard to overcome is the pressure from the media to spend and also the ever increasing trend in young ladies who are only attracted to affluent boys with their toys

I am healthy/good looking/intelligent/funny but apperntly that doesnt do it for the opposite sex anymore, what does? some 2-bit loser in a Subaru WRX or one of those really rare imported Skyline's (HAHAHA) all paid for on credit.

I think the same thing...

Besides, if you meet a nice lady who is attracted to your 'nice car' and 'flash toys', you just know the 'relationship' isn't going to last. For me, that is my consolation...

But to cope with peer/media pressure in general I try and surround myself with good quality friends, avoid as much television as possible(I hate normal TV) and of corse think of the wealth ahead which is instored for me.

TV is a big problem, in my opinion. Just do what I do: watch less of it, but if you want to watch your favourite show, record it and fast-forward the ads. Ads really annoy me. "No, I'm not going to buy your crappy McDonald's "Aussie burger" — it's crap!".

- what if I get run over by a car today and my life has ended?

Well you wouldn't know would you...

- what if I get I loose all my possesions due to an inforseen disaster

Well, if you become financially independent and have the doodads you wanted, and then you lose it all due to some unforeseen circumstance, then start again. You've built up your portfolio once before, hence you know that can do it again.

- What do I have to show for the time given to me as a youth?

Must there be something to show?

In my Opinion it is a lot harder for us generation Y's to achieve financial freedom because there is soooo much out there to enjoy with money! More fancy things to buy, more trips to take, faster cars to drive. Such choices would have just been a fantasy to young people back in the old days.

Anyway, this is just from a young mans perspective, which certaining will change and alter with time

I just see this as Jan Somer's marshmallow test. "I'll have two marshmallows later, thanks".

Never lose sight of the big picture.

At some point, when I make my goals, I'll probably end up sticking them on the back of my bedroom door so I am constantly reminded of them. Just another form of motivation...

Or you could think to yourself, "I'll get my Merc one day". That sentence works for me, because I know that something like that must be duly earned, in time...

 

[Merovingian]

I live at home yes so my cost of living is cheap, but I don't understand how people can't control their spending habits. I have trouble making myself spend money!

I think I'm the same. If I want something, I'll think it over.

Is it worth the money? Will I use it? Are there cheaper alternatives out there? Do I need it now, or can I get it later?

Hmmm, I just had a thought. I think the stuff in italics, is also in Kiyosaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad, is it not...?

Anyway, I save what I earn, and try not to spend any of it, unless it's for servicing my car, or what not, or the odd doodad, (these don't come too often)...

 

[Merovingian]

None of our friends are into wealth creation, more likely they are into affluence under the illusion of wealth, so conversations on the matter always end up like talking to brick walls.

I know the feeling too, although I don't let it bother me, because in the grand scheme of things it matters squat.

I told one of my friends that I want to invest in property to become financially independent, and rid the need to work for money by the time I'm 40.

Needless to say, this person is a very smart person who I thought would understand what I was saying, yet he thought I was talking krud. "Retire at 40?!?", he said.

In his mind, retiring at 40 was a fool's goal, but to me, 20 years to reach that goal seems like plenty of time.

 

[keithj]

Needless to say, this person is a very smart person who I thought would understand what I was saying, yet he thought I was talking krud. "Retire at 40?!?"

In his mind, retiring at 40 was a fool's goal, but to me, 20 years to reach that goal seems like plenty of time.

Retiring by 40 isn't impossible - I'm not 40 yet, & I no longer work unless I feel like it. I aimed for 30 - failed by 7 yrs, but I'm still 25 yrs ahead of all the naysayers from 15 yrs ago. I had (& still have) the same attitudes towards 'mindless consumerism', TV, peer pressure, flash cars,etc.

Attitude has always been the most important factor for me, if you keep up the same 'can do, will do' attitude - you'll get there.

KJ

 

[Sultan of Swing]

QUOTE=House_Keeper]Welcome to the forum, wealthyjay.   :) 

Stick with people who are going where you want to go.  That's what makes this forum so valuable. :) 

Cheers,[/QUOTE]


You've probably all heard the saying, 'If you want to fly with the eagles don't walk with the turkeys'. 

That's why i like this forum. Not only do we learn heaps, the people in here also encourage me to stick to my plan because, when it all seems to be impossible, there are a bunch in here that have done what the rest of us want to do and show us that it is possible for anyone that sets their mind to it.

 

[Peter 14.7]

Hi All

GOAL SETTING 101

I recommend writing down goals in detail with a date.

You will be amazed how it programs the mind. Like your mind is programmed to brake when it sees a red light, the goal becomes automatic and not noticed.

Also goals must be non ambiguous and genuine or you will fudge.

Say this to yourself:

"I will own a Mercedes one day"

Now who do you feel? I bet your mind is thinking like this, "yeah, that would be nice, I am 25 so I have 40 years, so no sweat"

Now say I this to yourself aloud.

"I will own a Mercedes SLK 2.0 litre convertible 2004 model by X mas 2007"

Now, How do you feel?

Instead your mind will already have pictured that model, the colours it comes in, making mental notes, "hum, lets get brochure (no cost) and check features, hum… in 3 years it will have devalued $X much, I will need a job or income to provide this much, etc....

Essentially you have given yourself a puzzle to solve. The mind is amazing in what it can do after hours and without active thinking.

Now when you walk around you will notice SLK's, scan the paper you will see them for sale, etc...

Oh course the same applies to anything you wish to achieve.

Peter 147

 

[Sultan of Swing]

I recommend writing down goals in detail with a date.

You will be amazed how it programs the mind. Like your mind is programmed to brake when it sees a red light, the goal becomes automatic and not noticed. Peter147

I can't agree more Peter.

After hearing that writing specific goals down is a must years ago, I finally took the time to write my financial goals down a few months back (dated Sep 20th 2004). (I'm a slow learner ) My basic aim is to have one million invested (equity in IPs, shares and cash) in 10 years, excluding my PPOR. Working backwards, I worked out where i needed to be each year to achieve that.

Although what I need each year is far more than my PAYG job pays, conciously or subconciously, I started looking for opportunities and ways to make it happen.

I've read a few books (Millionaire Mind, Millionaire Next Door, Jan Somers 'Story by Story', Noel Whittaker etc etc) but no real 'how to' books. Next I'm reading Peter Spann's '10 Million Prop Portfolio' and Jan Somers 'More Wealth' and seeing how my financial goals can be achieved and even considerably exceeded.

Selling the idea to Mrs Sultan is a whole other issue however she agreeds that we need to do something.

As I've stated elsewhere, I'm currently looking for land to build 2 -3 units on, and if all goes well, I should have equity in them equalling close to my year 3 target after just one year. Even if it's near my year 2 target, I consider it to be a good achievement (hows that for a confident statement, i haven't even started yet!!) and something i wouldn't have contemplated as being possible if I hadn't written down my goals.

So, as Peter said, you'll be amazed at how it programs the mind.

If you haven't already done it, give it a go!!

 

[wealthyjay]

I do it, and its amazing at what you acheive by simply writing what you would love to have and do in sufficient detail that you know exactly what it is and how yopu will get there. Its almost automatic.

 

[scremin]

Oh dear where to start???!!

I agree so much with so many people! Goal setting is a wise place to start but also with those goals, an applicable budget too. We have found that our goals changed slightly this year but we still achieved what we were wanting to achieve.

The pressure from people has been incredible. Hubby and I are 26 and 27 and have just bought our first IP. So now we have our PPOR and an IP and people are more worried about our situation than we are! We've had people tell us we should have bought a better car than the one I have and we should have done this and then that... But ultimately, cremin and I nodded our heads and said yes yes, but did what we wanted.

Not only that, sibling rivalry has been unbelieveable too! My brother was always under the impression my husband and I didn't know how to look after our money as we never had anything to show for it. But hubby and I travelled, lived and enjoyed ourselves. We moved country, town and then when were ready, bought a house. Timing for us couldn't have been better. Had we bought 5 years ago with the $25000 we had saved up (and not gone on a 4 month holiday round the world...) I can certainly say we would not be in the position we aer now. Relaxed and loving our life.

Pressure comes in many forms, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, just get used to nodding your head with a blank face and saying yes, then totally disregard what you don't wanna know, and do your own thing anyway...

I think my post is a little skewed, but my point is, stay faithful to what you want to do. If you have a partner, really investigate what you both want out of life too.

Have a great new year everyone!!!
Steph.

 

[Aceyducey]

If peer pressure influences you, find the right set of peers!

Cheers,

Aceyducey

 

[Merovingian]

If peer pressure influences you, find the right set of peers!

One thing I notice with many people I know, (mainly my relatives), is that their peers are, (usually), like minded people. i.e. losers make friends with other losers, etc...

People tend to make friends with people with similar interests, although ambitions and other defining characteristics may differ...

Anyway, enough of my poppycock...

 

[Ecogirl]

SMART goals

Goals need to be SMART

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Timeframe

Works for me.

Cheers
Ecogirl

 

[Kerri]

I heard or read this very recently:

I'd rather BE wealthy than LOOK wealthy.

Love it

 

[quoll]

I heard or read this very recently:

I'd rather BE wealthy than LOOK wealthy.

Love it

I agree, same as the BIG HAT NO CATTLE from millionaire next door.

quoll