LOL! My sister used to do that. She used to bite me too, then show the evidence to Mum (that I had biten her), and I would get into trouble. She grew out of that kind of behaviour way before 17 though.
The family thief/lier
- Thread starter Ridin-High
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LOL! My sister used to do that. She used to bite me too, then show the evidence to Mum (that I had biten her), and I would get into trouble. She grew out of that kind of behaviour way before 17 though.
yeah when reading it i was thinking the same thing... u think you would grow out of it before 17
No, some of us gals agree with the ol' spare the rod & spoil the child!
Agree with skater too, kids need parents not 'friends'.
As parents, I believe our primary function is not to be liked by our children, but to prepare them for the real world where there are consequences for actions. We need to guide them with love & sometimes that means 'tough love'.
Hehehe! Poor Lil got plenty of "tough love" over the years. I think without it, she would have turned out a whole lot different to the girl she is today. Today, she is a wonderful, giving, caring, honest, reliable, hardworking person.
Skater meant that her sister used to bite herself on the arm and then say that, 'Debbie did it'.
I got in trouble one day for writing my name on my bedroom wall. I didn't do it. Who would write their own name on a wall at home???
Actually I think there are probably a few these days, but this was then when 'the strap' reigned supreme.
No, some of us gals agree with the ol' spare the rod & spoil the child!
best thing i did was get the yahoo drilled out of me at army cadets - should be compulsary. prob was that in the last few years i was there, we couldn't discipline as required due to overprotective parents - discipline wasn't a beating, but more like being made to run 3 laps of the oval with rifle above your head followed by 50 pushups.
Parents could do that too..until the kids refused..then what?
What happens in boot camp if they refuse to do the laps and pushups?
It's so much easier for parents or gaurdians to just raise them right from when they are a baby... and a couple of psychology (including parenting & relationships) classes a week should be part of the standard primary & secondary school education imo, not to mention incorporating some investing into maths and accounting classes. [/rant]
.....and that's where the ratbags immediately leap to ....
"I know my rights"
"You can't touch me"
"You can't force me to do anything"
"That's assault, I'm going to sue you now"
"Leave me alone, I just want to sit here and whinge"
.....ably assisted by lawyers, pschycos and an army of specialists who's revenue feeds off it....and therefore that behaviour is not only fully encouraged, but warmly rewarded with an array of special attention.
"This is a very complex problem you must understand."
"Every child is a unique individual"
"There is no one simple solution"
"I've studied at University for 7 years and believe me it is very complex."
"Poor dear - how are you feeling. They are just mean and nasty."
"Don't worry, I got bullied at school as well. That's why I'm a trained ...."
"Give me 15 years of therapy, and we'll have you sorted out quick smart."
The SM's of this world all know that it is complete BS.
I'm a baby boomer..just at the tail end, mind you.
We are the generation who have seemed to have created these monster children.
When we were growing up, we seemed to have more fear.
Fear of the pricipal strapping us, spankings from our parents, going to jeuvie,etc.
I wonder if the cycle will come full circle and we bring that back?
On Tv the other day, they were discussing whether corporal punishment should be brought back into the schools.
The one part of me says yes...but that "protective mom" in me says you had better never lay a hand on my child. There..the problem continues.
We are the generation who have seemed to have created these monster children.
When we were growing up, we seemed to have more fear.
Fear of the pricipal strapping us, spankings from our parents, going to jeuvie,etc.
I wonder if the cycle will come full circle and we bring that back?
On Tv the other day, they were discussing whether corporal punishment should be brought back into the schools.
The one part of me says yes...but that "protective mom" in me says you had better never lay a hand on my child. There..the problem continues.
The principle of corporal punishment to correct has been around for thousands of years however there have been so many experiences where the person giving the punishment was either angry or sadistic or both and that any lesson which may have been learnt was second to the need to show who was the boss and inflict pain upon the hapless individual.
Your point highlights the fact that Western society has come to a point where no-one trusts anyone to met out corporal punishment.
WOW I would NEVER pull that behaviour towards my family. NO atter what tantrum no tantrum they would never put up with that behaviour.
I think when you say something you have to mean it. That usually does the trick.
So i would cut her off completely. And if i caught her stealing i would report my property stolen and have her charged.
I think when you say something you have to mean it. That usually does the trick.
So i would cut her off completely. And if i caught her stealing i would report my property stolen and have her charged.
show her and her dad the inside of your local lock up, with a stern copper by their side.
worked for me - haven't stolen a thing since.
worked for me - haven't stolen a thing since.
NO WAY! My Dad ex Lt colonel and living with him was BOOT CAMP. Everything was timed. Dinner eaten within ten minutes or your plate was cleared NO MATTER WHAT. We never complained...and now my friends call me a hard BEEP. Its not that i don't care...It's that i can't understand why so many people whinge and complain about their issues and then do nothing about them... I just walk away and refuse to associate or enbable these attention seekers with comments such as the ones you made above.
Kids lives used to be simple, parents ruled. And you did as you were told.
My kids were never taught that at school.
To tell the truth I can't even remember the last time I disciplined my girls. Nor can I even think of anything bad they have done in years and years. Certainly nothing since about the age of 5 or 6. They are just intelligent and kind people.
I don't think I did anything special except spend time explaining things to them. Things like outcomes and consequences. I am very approachable and they'd laugh if anyone suggested they might fear me.
But on the other hand I got smacked a lot and also hit with things. I reckon the things I got up to would rival any stories you guys could think of including the time I blacked out four suburbs by wondering if I could throw a bit of fencing wire weighted with a rock over the power lines .....
But maybe it is just because they are girls and I was a boy?
For me it's horses for courses. Some kids respond only to "tough love", some never put a foot wrong and others will only escalate their rebellion in the face of strong discipline, only responding when someone actually takes time to explain things properly and show them some respect.
Kids are just little people - with all their characteristics. The trick is to know which tool will work and how to use them correctly. Not having "tough love" in the toolbox is just as risky as not taking the time to sit down and explain the facts of life. Some require the jack hammer while others need the pocket knife...
..... and some, even with all that, still do not EVER get it, and blame stupid things for the way their life has turned out. I have a brother like that. It's easy for some to say "show 'em who's boss" but seeing my brother wrestle my dad to the floor when he was about 18 and very fit and strong, after Dad called him for something he had said or done, while we stood around, not knowing what to do, call the police or try to intervene was very scary indeed.
We had a "normal" upbringing, got the strap when required and my parents spent hours and days over many years trying to find out what was wrong but if someone's brain is "not right", then there is nothing parents can do, after they have tried everything.
Sometimes "tough love", counselling, talking nicely and every other thing possibly you could think of just don't work. Sometimes kids just have something wrong inside. This brother made our family life a misery and it is still going on. He is now 52.
If it were me, I would move out. and make sure you don't financially support your family while your sister is at home, because any money you give them will go to her. It does sound like the behaviour of an addict, so I would suspect there is something else going on under the surface.
But since it doesn't seem like your parents either understand or are willing to recognise the behaviours, the situation will be constantly dragging you down with it.
I think all of our families are dysfunctional to some extent or another, but where there is manipulation and lots of lying etc, I think you are better off to be out of it and finding your own way. In the end, the costs will be lower, emotionally and financially.
Pen
But since it doesn't seem like your parents either understand or are willing to recognise the behaviours, the situation will be constantly dragging you down with it.
I think all of our families are dysfunctional to some extent or another, but where there is manipulation and lots of lying etc, I think you are better off to be out of it and finding your own way. In the end, the costs will be lower, emotionally and financially.
Pen
Pennyk,
I agree. He should rent a 4 bedroom place, take in 3 boarders..have the rent split 3 ways
and live rent free. You just need to take the risk of them damaging something. Never mind..get a bond from them too !!
